Malcolm And Barbara...love's Farewell

[pushka]

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/malcolmandbarbara/index.htm

I've just finished watching the above documentary, of the final 11 years of the suffering of this husband and wife, after Malcolm was diagnosed with Alzheimers at the age of 51.

The documentary has been filmed at intervals over the last 11 years, and documents the struggle of Barbara to continue to care for Malcolm at home as his condition deteriorated over the years. She was torn between caring for him herself, with little help from the NHS and placing him in hospital or a nursing home. Occasionally Malcolm was placed into a mental hospital for a week or so, for respite care...however Barbara noticed that one at least 1 occasion when he was hospitalised, the staff had over medicated him, which left him unable to even walk or stand. She could not bear the thoughts of him having his final years' care taking place in an institution where his medications might again be altered so much that he was barely aware of anything around him. She chose to keep Malcolm at home with her, and eventually did get some help from nursing staff when he was literally 'on death's door'.

Watching how Malcolm altered from a bright, musical man, into an emaciated figure, reminiscent of survivors of Belsen was truly saddening.

My former sister in law is currently caring for her husband who is suffering from dementia and has also had 1 leg amputated due to arterialschlerosis. She has been caring for him for the past 19 years and is now faced with the same situation that Barbara faced...her husband has lately become incontinent and is childlike and sometimes aggressive and paranoid...often he doesn't recognise members of his own family. However, she like Barbara is reluctant to place him in a nursing home or hospital.

My heart cries out for families going thru these struggles...where is the compassion in governments that can allow this suffering to continue, with little help from their resources.

[Alaskagain]

My heart cries out for families going thru these struggles...where is the compassion in governments that can allow this suffering to continue, with little help from their resources.

How exactly can the government help?

[pushka]

In the documentary Barbara mentions that not enough of the cash used in the NHS (national health service) goes into assisting with the care of alzheimer sufferers and their families. Often the extra assistance they need is not made available to them until the person suffering is near death...ie. cannot swallow, stand, toilet themselves or any other such independent activities.

[Alaskagain]

In the documentary Barbara mentions that not enough of the cash used in the NHS (national health service) goes into assisting with the care of alzheimer sufferers and their families. Often the extra assistance they need is not made available to them until the person suffering is near death...ie. cannot swallow, stand, toilet themselves or any other such independent activities.

Thank you. I'm afraid I haven't had time to follow the link, and was unaware of the statement. I will watch it soon.

Later:

I followed the link; I didn't need to WATCH it, I needed to READ it. Thought it was a link to a video clip, but is an article promoting the documentary.

Alzheimer's has touched my family, so I am not callous about this. I am not a fan of the government paying for medical care, but I see nothing wrong in suggesting that government provide funds for research, as they have done for many diseases in the past. And I am aware this is a UK programme where socialized medicine is the norm, so it is up to the Brits to get the funding increased for care.

Kudos to the devotion this couple have for each other (I am aware that one is now deceased. I do not believe love dies.)

[Elphaba]

There is an excellent movie entitled "Iris," starring Kate Winslet as the young novelest Iris Murdoch, and Judy Dench as the elderly Iris who is slowly falling into the clutches of Alzheimer's. The portrayal of Murdoch's descent was very raw, and though I've never personally witnessed it, I thought I learned something about it. One of the reviewers suggested the film was less about Iris and more about Alzheimer's.

Jim Broadbent plays Iris' husband when the couple is elderly, and he won an Oscar for his performance.

Iris

Elphaba

[pushka]

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In the documentary Barbara mentions that not enough of the cash used in the NHS (national health service) goes into assisting with the care of alzheimer sufferers and their families. Often the extra assistance they need is not made available to them until the person suffering is near death...ie. cannot swallow, stand, toilet themselves or any other such independent activities.

Thank you. I'm afraid I haven't had time to follow the link, and was unaware of the statement. I will watch it soon.

Later:

I followed the link; I didn't need to WATCH it, I needed to READ it. Thought it was a link to a video clip, but is an article promoting the documentary.

Alzheimer's has touched my family, so I am not callous about this. I am not a fan of the government paying for medical care, but I see nothing wrong in suggesting that government provide funds for research, as they have done for many diseases in the past. And I am aware this is a UK programme where socialized medicine is the norm, so it is up to the Brits to get the funding increased for care.

Kudos to the devotion this couple have for each other (I am aware that one is now deceased. I do not believe love dies.)

I appreciate that you're not being callous, Alaskagain.

As you pointed out, this is a story from the UK where the government has a duty to help with the care of all. The reason they have this duty, in my opinion, is because all citizens make contributions to National Insurance, which is used for all aspects of Welfare.

I know that the couple portrayed could have easily afforded to pay privately for the extra care required, and was only pointing out how the wife felt that this should not be necessary when the government is taking payment from families to provide the best care possible.

[pam]

Watching my once very strong father falling deeper and deeper into the effects of Alzheimers is one of the worst experiences of my life. Everyday tasks that he could once perform with ease are becoming more and more difficult. I am in agreement with AlaskaAgain. I wish there was more funding going towards Alzheimers research. One of the worst diseases one could watch a love one go through.