Ring Ceremonies

[yoyoteacher]

So I am about two months away from getting married, and I am struggling with figuring out what a ring ceremony should include/look like. I am the only member in my family, and my fiance is the only in his. We are being sealed, but I really want to have a ceremony for my family and his family. The one blessing out of this is how supportive my mom has been.

Our current plan is to start our reception with the ceremony and then go into dinner and dancing.

What have you seen typically done in a ring ceremony? Thanks in advance.

[Guest MormonGator]

Congrats!!!! 

Don't listen to pop culture-marriage is the greatest thing in the world. Ladygator and I sort of regret having our families there. We were also broke, and there were a lot of comments about how cheap the ceremony was. Oddly, the people who complained about it are now divorced.   A lot of drama. We wish we got married on a beach with just a few good friends there. 

Listen to your fiancee, ignore everyone else, and most importantly-Enjoy it! 

So happy for you! 

Edited December 29, 2015 by MormonGator

[pam]

My cousin and his new wife did this after their sealing in the temple.  Most of her family are not members.  Basically she walked in on her father's arm just like a traditional wedding march.  They had a small ceremony.  Not the announcing of vows etc but something along the line of a ring exchange.  Her Bishop performed the ring ceremony.  You might want to talk to your Bishop.  He might have some guidance or resources as to how this should be done.

[Maureen]

Nephew #1 and his wife both have Scottish heritage, so they had a Scottish theme to their ring ceremony. There were bagpipes (recession music) and a tartan sash placed on the bride. Their ceremony was in the chapel.

 

Nephew #3 and his wife had their ceremony in the cultural centre. They had a procession with their bridal party, bride and father walked in together. I remember thinking their bishop said something really nice but I can't remember what it was. The bride is crazy about anything Disney, so their recession music was a disney song.

 

Both ring ceremonies happened before the reception (food and dance).

 

Talk to your bishop and give him some ideas of what you and your fiance would like.

 

M.

Edited December 29, 2015 by Maureen

[yoyoteacher]

We've talked to our branch president, but he has nixed my father walking me in, as it resembles a civil ceremony. I'm still pretty upset about that, as it's something I've imagined since I was little. That's why I am struggling to know what to do, because he's shot down everything so far.

[estradling75]

We've talked to our branch president, but he has nixed my father walking me in, as it resembles a civil ceremony. I'm still pretty upset about that, as it's something I've imagined since I was little. That's why I am struggling to know what to do, because he's shot down everything so far.

 

 

Sound like your bishop is making sure that your "ring ceremony" does not turn into a "Wedding in everything but name only."  You need to break out of the mindset or idea of giving your parents the Wedding they can't attend, if you are sealed.

[yoyoteacher]

I get that. It's just a hard thing to do, when I know that my parents are helping with a lot of it financially. There is just some adjustment that comes with it. I'm just trying to find a balance is all.

[Palerider]

I get that. It's just a hard thing to do, when I know that my parents are helping with a lot of it financially. There is just some adjustment that comes with it. I'm just trying to find a balance is all.

I would try one talk with Bishop in his office and see if you can't get him to change his mind or come to some kind of agreement.

[LeSellers]

I know that my parents are helping with a lot of [the reception and wedding costs] financially.

In the XXI (and even last century), we are losing the reason for "weddings" and receptions.

The reception, primarily, is a party given by the parents of the bride: "Come celebrate with us — our daughter is marrying." The party is for their friends, hers (and his) are mere strap hangers, participants tolerated, not necessary.

The bride's parents are fully responsible for the party because they are the ones celebrating.

As noted earlier, we have forgotten this. We have forgotten because "marriage" has changed dramatically — its purpose, its foundation, and its justification.

We Saints ought not to have forgotten: the Temple particularly reminds us of its import.

Now, in an aside, it is odd that of all the "traditional" marriage vows, the LDS ceremony is unique (or nearly so) in that the father does not "give the bride away". N one does. She gives herself, and she receives her new husband. There is no significant difference between the covenant she makes and his when the two kneel across the altar of the Temple. I say it is odd because many people claim that LDS women are denigrated in LDS theology, and especially so with the practice of Plural Marriage. Yet, from the very wording of the ritual, she is on an equal footing with her husband.

Lehi

[bytebear]

I would say if you have a rehersal dinner or other "pre" event, to have your father accompany/escort you.  Then you can have the setting of him transition from being the man in your life, to having the reception be where your husband be the man in your life.  Not ideal, but might be a decent compromise.

[Guest]

Or you can have your Ring Ceremony out of the Church building - like someone's backyard or at the beach, etc, then you can do it on your own without needing to follow the Branch President's rules.

 

Just be mindful that you're not too caught up in the "Ceremony" so much so that it makes your Temple vows fade in the background.  The Temple vows is THE ceremony.  Everything else is fluff.

[Latter-Day Marriage]

Perhaps your father could be the one to introduce the ring ceremony or something like that.

[Sunday21]

What if you did a slide show about the temple? There are great lds slides of temples online. You could describe the purpose of the temple ceremony. This would help to explain why temples are important.

Edited January 12, 2016 by Sunday21