Sins & depression

[Guest]

So....I'm not sure how to word this...But i have been struggling with depression for a while now. It seemed to have just come out of no where last year. It has been really hard for me. I don't know the cause of it. I also struggled with an addiction about 4 years ago and finally overcame it last year. It just seems to me, that i only commit certain sins when i am having a low day. I want will all of my heart to be worthy to dwell in the celestial kingdom, but whenever i am feeling low, i don't know what happens. I just...give up. I give into temptation. It's like i KNOW that i don't WANT to do wrong, to sin against god, but because i am feeling low...it just happens without me really realizing it. Until after i have done something wrong.I don't know what to do about this. I always feel terrible after having these types of days, but i feel that there is nothing i can do to stop it. Yes, i pray and read my scriptures, and i gain some strength, sometimes enough to fight off temptation, But i still feel hopeless some days.

Edited April 18, 2017 by Lilyflowers88

[Jane_Doe]

Clinical depression is a real disease, one that requires proper medical attention.  You need four things:

  1)  Nurture your spirit through scripture study (you seem to be really on top of this).

  2)  Nurture your body through proper diet, exercise, and sleep.   Yes, this is hard to do with depression because depression makes us want to over/under sleep, over/under eat, and we seldom get enough exercise.  It's hard to do, but very critical to do it anyways.

   3) Nurture your mind through proper reading, stimulus, etc.

  4)  If you're sick (and if you have depression, you are) then you need medical attention-- get into counseling.  Counselors see people with these problems everyday and they're really good a treating it.  They can help you.

[Guest]

When I'm in the thick of a depressive episode, I am certainly more vulnerable to hopelessness, negative thoughts, and probably even bad influences. It's one of the harder parts of the disease. I believe the adversary attacks wherever we are weak. That doesn't absolve me of responsibility to fight it, though, and certainly responsibility for what I do in the midst of that vulnerability. I see it as an opportunity to show myself and my Heavenly Father what I'm made of. 

 

Nevertheless, none of us is perfect and mistakes happen. Thank goodness for the Atonement. 

[The Folk Prophet]

Anti-depressants.

[omegaseamaster75]

Anti-depressants.

This

 

See a Dr. get medicated and see a therapist there is no shame in it. You need to lead and live a real life.

[FunkyTown]

Yeah. Don't be ashamed of getting medicine. If you broke your leg, you wouldn't refuse to get it set because you were afraid that the cast would slow you down.

[Palerider]

Start by seeing your Bishop and asking him if there is LDS Counciling in the area. They can give you professional help along with teaching Gospel Principles.

[Guest]

My parents don't know. I don't know what to do. I can't get medication...

[The Folk Prophet]

I can't get medication...

 

Explain.

[Guest]

Tell your parents. I would be so sad if my child were in your place and they didn't come to me.

[Vort]

Explain.

 

It appears that Lilyflowers88 is a minor (15), and thus cannot get a prescription without parental involvement. (Unless, presumably, she wants contraception. But that's another issue.)

[The Folk Prophet]

It appears that Lilyflowers88 is a minor (15), and thus cannot get a prescription without parental involvement. (Unless, presumably, she wants contraception. But that's another issue.)

 

I presumed that was the meaning. But it does not follow that her parents not knowing means she "can't" get medicine. The solution is obvious. Tell the parents.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I presumed that was the meaning. But it does not follow that her parents not knowing means she "can't" get medicine. The solution is obvious. Tell the parents.

In some situations talking to the parents won't help either. Some people (parents) are opposed to meds. Some parents ARE the problem. I never told my parents anything for the simple reason that it wouldn't have helped.

Sometimes "tell your parents" is not the answer. It would be better for us to counsel Lilly to tell her parents OR someone she can trust like her Bishop, or a teacher.

[The Folk Prophet]

In some situations talking to the parents won't help either. Some people (parents) are opposed to meds. Some parents ARE the problem. I never told my parents anything for the simple reason that it wouldn't have helped.

Sometimes "tell your parents" is not the answer. It would be better for us to counsel Lilly to tell her parents OR someone she can trust like her Bishop, or a teacher.

 

Which is why I asked her to explain. It's hard to advise without detail.

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

Which is why I asked her to explain. It's hard to advise without detail.

Okay, I agree with you then. :)

[Palerider]

It can be hard for a parent to fully understand about depression if one of their children tells them how they feel. I hope that made sense.

[The Folk Prophet]

It can be hard for a parent to fully understand about depression if one of their children tells them how they feel. I hope that made sense.

 

Sure. But "I can't get medicine because my parent's don't know" is a different issue than "I can't get medicine because my parents don't believe me and won't take me to the doctor".

[Palerider]

Sure. But "I can't get medicine because my parent's don't know" is a different issue than "I can't get medicine because my parents don't believe me and won't take me to the doctor".

My point here ....what if the parents don't have the sense or common sense to think it's an issue .....I can take you to some areas in our country where they have no knowledge or understanding about or what depression is

[The Folk Prophet]

My point here ....what if the parents don't have the sense or common sense to think it's an issue .....I can take you to some areas in our country where they have no knowledge or understanding about or what depression is

 

Right. That could be why she hasn't told her parents. Still waiting for her to explain.

[Guest]

I don't think my parents would help. They would tell me that it is just sadness and that i should get over it. So really, i don't know what i am supposed to do because this is really hard for me. I hate feeling this way. 

[Guest MormonGator]

I don't think my parents would help. They would tell me that it is just sadness and that i should get over it. So really, i don't know what i am supposed to do because this is really hard for me. I hate feeling this way. 

I'm so sorry Lily. That's the worst part about depression is that people tell you to "get over it". Wish it was that easy, huh? 

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I don't think my parents would help. They would tell me that it is just sadness and that i should get over it. So really, i don't know what i am supposed to do because this is really hard for me. I hate feeling this way.

Lily do you have another adult you can trust to talk to? Maybe a YW leader, your Bishop, a teacher, friend, aunt or grandparent?

[zil]

I don't think my parents would help. They would tell me that it is just sadness and that i should get over it. So really, i don't know what i am supposed to do because this is really hard for me. I hate feeling this way. 

 

Not knowing your situation, I can only make a recommendation: Tell your parents, in detail, what you're feeling and experiencing.  If needed, write it down (so it doesn't become an argument and so you don't forget crucial information).  And I would explain that you fear they won't believe you, and thus have been suffering alone, but that you really need their help.  Depending on your parents' personalities, it might be best to ensure they can read the letter and consider for a time (e.g. while you're off at school) before responding.

 

I make this recommendation because depression causes us to exaggerate the negative and give in to despair (e.g. believe that no one will understand, no one can help, etc.).  It's a self-feeding problem (discouraging the sufferer from doing things that could help).  So please try, just to determine the reality of it.  If they'll help, you're in a much better place.  If they won't help, you now know for certain that's them, and not a lie your depression is feeding you, then you can move on to other sources of help.

 

If you're not already doing it, I would add journal-writing to the list of things you're doing to cope - reviewing journal entries can help you identify the things which turn a normal day into a bad day, and help you figure out how to avoid or better deal with those things.  It can also help you identify exactly what you're feeling, see it for what it is, and find things you can try to change.

 

FWIW

[Guest MormonGator]

Lily do you have another adult you can trust to talk to? Maybe a YW leader, your Bishop, a teacher, friend, aunt or grandparent?

 Good advice. Sometimes parents mean well, but they can make mistakes. 

[The Folk Prophet]

I don't think my parents would help. They would tell me that it is just sadness and that i should get over it. So really, i don't know what i am supposed to do because this is really hard for me. I hate feeling this way. 

 

With all due respect Lilyflowers, this is a made up problem (you're parent's unwillingness to help) until you talk to them. When and if you do and they won't help, then you have a real problem. Until then you're making things up. Even if you have honest and legitimate reason to suspect they won't help, you don't know until you know.

 

Honestly, unless there's some literal danger potential (like they might beat you up over it or something...which would be an entirely different issue obviously), then there is no reason on earth to not talk to them. How is they're telling you it's just sadness and to get over it any worse off than them not knowing at all?

 

Talk to them.