The gross, disgusting awfulness that is breast feeding a baby

[Vort]

 

Several FB friends have put up this video. I was frankly dubious that you would find a significant number of people who reacted like these people did, but based on some of the feedback, I'm starting to rethink that.

 

What about it? Does anyone here care to justify the actions of those people who would condemn a mother for FEEDING HER BABY?

 

I want to believe people are not really this stupid. Please help me understand.

 

On a tangentially related note, when did the vulgar and childish term "boob" become de rigeur for referencing a woman's breast? Anyone who uses the term "boob" to reference a breast immediately suffers a 50% reduction in my esteem for him/her.

[Guest]

1. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it. 

 

2. It made me surprisingly emotional, especially at the thought of a new mother dealing with that. It's already so difficult and so isolating to be a brand new mom trying to figure it out. 

 

3. The "t" word is even worse.

[Sunday21]

I would not have believed it if I had not seen it!

[bytor2112]

I think the video is a hoax. I will admit to finding breastfeeding in public....unusual, but would never approach someone and insult them. I think most would just ignore....especially if there was a man with her.

 

That said, the ...militant breast feeders are out there and I think look for confrontation. My wife is a High School Principal and there are some militant mom's that have come to parent meetings and breastfed....not infants, mind you....but small kids.3-5 years old. Bleck.........

Edited January 20, 2016 by bytor2112

[pam]

I'm seriously not surprised by this at all.  Not at all.

[NightSG]

Pretty sure I've seen yellow pants guy in some of these "social experiment" videos before. Plus he sounded flat out scripted. Not buying that any of it was actual passerby responses, except maybe the expecting mother. Notice that it's always "disgusting," never "sick," "nasty," "gross," or any other descriptor that's more likely to be the first comment from these knuckledraggers. Quite likely because the same person wrote the script for all of them.

Besides, my ex breastfed both of ours, sometimes in public, as well as several friends who have fed in my presence in public places, and I never once heard a response like they supposedly managed to get several of in one day.

[Backroads]

I would not be surprised if this video were set up considering the source--I'm not a fan of Joey Salads and he's staged stuff before. But I've heard enough stories that all this is plausible.

Edited January 20, 2016 by Backroads

[Anddenex]

This lady's approach to this scenario is humorous:

 

 

But be careful, she uses the word, "boobs," -- oh no.

[NeuroTypical]

1. I've basically done a 180 on the topic over the years.  I don't care if women breastfeed in public any more.  

2. I still, however, am totally upset with the immense double-standard in society.  Whether I walk around with no shirt at all, or one man-boob hanging out, I get the same comments and looks.  

[Bini]

Breastfeeding shaming is real. Whether you've seen it or not. It is very real. If you're really interested in learning not just about breastfeeding but the very real trials that come with it, checkout "Breastfeeding Mama Talk" on Facebook, as it's a group that educates public on the benefits of BFing and it's a forum where mothers can receive support (especially after experiencing shaming). They are also affiliated with other well known groups like La Leche League.

I am an exclusively breastfeeding mother. This means that I don't use pumped bottles and must latch my son whenever he's hungry - privately or publicly - I feed him then and there. I also don't use a cover, fortunately I'm not large chested but that's beside the point, my son doesn't like his head covered when nursing and being able to see his face allows me to easily and comfortably adjust latch as needed. I plan to feed him minimally to a year but would love to go to at least two years. Checkout La Leche League and you will learn that the *average* age for BFing around the world is 4! If that's not for you, fine. But to shame a mother doing what is natural is horrible. Just horrible.

[Bini]

This lady's approach to this scenario is humorous:

 

 

But be careful, she uses the word, "boobs," -- oh no.

Excellent.

And for the record, I call them "boobs". It's not correct terminology but I do use the phrase at home when nursing. I'll say, "Looks like baby wants booby."

[Crypto]

Younger people tend to be less formal in word usage.

[Vort]

Younger people tend to be less formal in word usage.

 

It's not a matter of formality. It's a matter of not being childish and vulgar. Do they call a penis a "pee-pee"?

[Guest]

I got shamed on FB for responding to this video stating - Moms should also be charitable. There's a way to breast feed modestly - without a need for coverups. Wear a loose shirt and a pull down bra. When the baby is hungry carry her across your stomach, lift the hem of the shirt up and away from your body just under the breast, pull down the bra and latch and drop the hem of the shirt where your baby's lip ends. The shirt covers your breast, the baby covers your stomach. I did this in the middle of a football game at the stadium and nobody even noticed. Don't do this in China because you can be arrested and put in jail.

Man.,, moms came at me with How dare you's. I hate (and I don't use that word often) militant mothers.

Edited January 20, 2016 by anatess

[Crypto]

It's not a matter of formality. It's a matter of not being childish and vulgar. Do they call a penis a "pee-pee"?

There are different words, less formal that they indeed do use, but not that one specifically.

Actually generally older people, more often women use words like that, or little firetruck(or man, w/e[whatever] it is) etc...

Complaining about slang, or the evolution of language happens pretty much every generation.

Rather than looking down on someone for being unschooled, a farm boy, possibly with little education or different culture, or even being slow and hesitant with speech. I think it might be better to look at the heart of what they are saying.

[Guest]

What about it? Does anyone here care to justify the actions of those people who would condemn a mother for FEEDING HER BABY?

 

I want to believe people are not really this stupid. Please help me understand.

 

First of all, I do believe most of it was staged.  I believe the two young women that walked past could have been real.  The others were just too contrived.

 

Second, I think it is absolutely rude and uncalled for (and betrays their ignorance) when people behave this way.  But, yes, people actually do this and react this way.

 

ANSWER:

 

This mentality has been slowly building since the 60s.  High gear in late 70s and 80s.  The problem is hypersexuality.  People (especially men) don't see breasts as a means of providing nourishment for a baby -- not anymore.  They are supposed to be sexual organs.  To see these organs used for something else just seems gross and disgusting.

 

The first time I noticed it was when I saw a film in school on the Masai (indigenous African tribe).  The father of a family (along with other men of the village) went out for many days to hunt down a giraffe.  This would provide meat for the entire village for months.  The narrator commented that the man was losing hope and was getting tired, thirsty, and hungry.  But the thought of his wife's breasts being full of milk for his child motivated him to continue.

 

At lunch hour, many of the boys made various comments and considered it a sexual thing.  No, it wasn't.  To ealier times and primitive cultures it was perfectly understood that it was a tool put to its proper use.  That's why there is no difference between a man or a woman going topless in a primitive village.  But in today's world where formula is the norm and nudity is on almost every TV show and most movies and even displayed in public life via immodest dress -- specifically to titillate, why would you consider it a biological tool to feed a baby?  That's icky...

 

Yes, that is what is happening on a subconscious and sometimes conscious level.  Does that answer your question?

Edited January 20, 2016 by Guest

[Anddenex]

Excellent.

And for the record, I call them "boobs". It's not correct terminology but I do use the phrase at home when nursing. I'll say, "Looks like baby wants booby."

 

I will usually say, "Hey looks like baby wants his human bottle," and I usually receive an  from Ms. Anddenex. Hehe.

[Anddenex]

First of all, I do believe most of it was staged.  I believe the two young women that walked past could have been real.  The others were just too contrived.

 

Second, I think it is absolutely rude and uncalled for (and betrays their ignorance) when people behave this way.  But, yes, people actually do this and react this way.

 

ANSWER:

 

This mentality has been slowly building since the 60s.  High gear in late 70s and 80s.  The problem is hypersexuality.  People (especially men) don't see breasts as a means of providing nourishment for a baby -- not anymore.  They are supposed to be sexual organs.  To see these organs used for something else just seems gross and disgusting.

 

Well now Carborundum, even cannon scripture specifies they fulfill two purposes, Proverbs 5:19, "Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love."

 

It's cannon Carborundum, and the funny thing Ms. Anddenex  's at me for this also...sheesh...I am just quoting scripture.    

 

EDIT: dumb auto correct likes to change your name.

Edited January 20, 2016 by Anddenex

[unixknight]

I'm pretty baffled when I see people reacting unkindly to it.  I mean, I can at least sort of follow the reasoning if it's someone who's ultra-puritanical in their views and object to any sort of exposure at all, because at least then they'd be consistent in also criticizing attire that exposes a lot.  The real surprising part for me is that a lot of them are coming from people with more "progressive" attitudes who would probably be perfectly okay with a gay pride parade featuring guys with the revealing chaps...

 

I'm glad the second video satirizes the "think of the children" line.  My kids know what breasts are for and what they do, and see their younger siblings get fed.  Why would they be shocked to see someone else doing it?

[NeuroTypical]

Man.,, moms came at me with How dare you's. I hate (and I don't use that word often) militant mothers.

 

Beware the dark side, anatess.  You can be plenty effective without hate.  

 

Several years ago, one daughter had double foot surgery and was in a wheelchair for a while. If we ordered a handicap tag to hang in the window, by the time the tag showed up, she'd be out of the wheelchair. So we didn't bother. 

 

My wife parked in the Whole Foods parking lot, halfway down the row of cars, and was carrying our kid from car seat to wheelchair. She was accosted by some well-meaning dogooderer who felt the need to instruct my wife on proper parenting.

 

"You're not doing her any favors by treating her like she's normal, you know."

 

My wife ignored her. Didn't even make eye contact. Just started wheeling towards Whole Foods, even though the lady kept talking. But when the lady started following them, and started directing her comments to our daughter, my wife had enough. She turned and made one of her rare-but-effective aggressive "come at me bro" moves towards the lady and yelled "BACK OFF!!" The lady backpeadalled into a car and almost tripped and spilled her organic soy-hazelnut musli all over herself.

 

That event, and others like it, have prompted many discussions with our kids about what happens when cops get called, and what they should and shouldn't do in various situations. My wife rocks.

[Guest]

 

Beware the dark side, anatess.  You can be plenty effective without hate.  

 

Several years ago, one daughter had double foot surgery and was in a wheelchair for a while. If we ordered a handicap tag to hang in the window, by the time the tag showed up, she'd be out of the wheelchair. So we didn't bother. 

 

My wife parked in the Whole Foods parking lot, halfway down the row of cars, and was carrying our kid from car seat to wheelchair. She was accosted by some well-meaning dogooderer who felt the need to instruct my wife on proper parenting.

 

"You're not doing her any favors by treating her like she's normal, you know."

 

My wife ignored her. Didn't even make eye contact. Just started wheeling towards Whole Foods, even though the lady kept talking. But when the lady started following them, and started directing her comments to our daughter, my wife had enough. She turned and made one of her rare-but-effective aggressive "come at me bro" moves towards the lady and yelled "BACK OFF!!" The lady backpeadalled into a car and almost tripped and spilled her organic soy-hazelnut musli all over herself.

 

That event, and others like it, have prompted many discussions with our kids about what happens when cops get called, and what they should and shouldn't do in various situations. My wife rocks.

 

 

You won't believe how many times I have to deal with this kind of thing...  I even had to deal with this with my dog.  "What?  You feed your dog bones?  You should be shot!"  I'm not exaggerating.  Somebody told me I should be shot because I feed my dog meat instead of Blue Buffalo and the like...

[Backroads]

I laugh at these stories, but just yesterday I found myself about to spill my Good Parenting Sanctimommy speech on someone's Facebook post. It was terrifying to find myself about to do something I hate.

In other news, I breastfed my daughter during Relief Society the other day. Our mothers room has no sound system, and other ladies have done the same thing.

As for the natural question, I go back to work in February and plan on pumping during recess. Our classroom doors were supposed to get locks someday... I keep wondering what I'll do if one of my students feels passionately about entering the classroom during recess....

[zil]

... Good Parenting Sanctimommy speech ....

 

[NeuroTypical]

From what I understand about mothers, they will occasionally seek out and be receptive to feedback and suggestions, often from people who are there or have been there.  Something about needing a safe environment and a trusted person first.  

 

My marching orders are to not seek them out, but march to them when my wife directs them my way.  

[Backroads]

From what I understand about mothers, they will occasionally seek out and be receptive to feedback and suggestions, often from people who are there or have been there. Something about needing a safe environment and a trusted person first.

My marching orders are to not seek them out, but march to them when my wife directs them my way.

This girl has 5 kids and has a very different parenting style than me. I still feel confident about the medical and scientific support of what I almost said, but ultimately decided it wasn't worth it.