The Folk Prophet Posted February 18, 2016 Report Share Posted February 18, 2016 4 hours ago, Stumblinginthemists said: As soon as I hit enter then, I realized that's a false thing for me to say. I'm not faithless in the sense that I don't believe in Heavenly Father or the Atonement or Christ or the Restoration etc etc. Well faith, of course, does not mean "belief". Belief means belief. Faith is something different that does include belief. But belief is not faith. Even the devil believes in God. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blackmarch Posted February 19, 2016 Report Share Posted February 19, 2016 On 2/17/2016 at 10:27 AM, Stumblinginthemists said: Hi all, I think I've managed to work myself into a corner and I don't seem to be able to get any sense or response from my ward/stake leaders. I also can't get much sense from studying things out myself, I have been trying for months. Basically I feel as though whenever things go right in my life, as in things that would please Heavenly Father, something has to come along for me or my family to make things hard. The worst of these being my husband's cancer. And now I'm stuck in a situation where I am frightened to even turn to Heavenly Father anymore, let alone go back to church (I have been unable to attend with my husband's illness) because it will cause more suffering and heartache in mine and my family's lives. I'm looking for something to say "yes, that's the case" or "no, that's not the case". I just feel completely at a loss. There's part of me that feels that I should just man up and let whatever awfulness might come happen, but there's another part of me that knows it's not just about me, it's about my family too and I don't want to put them through more distress. Your thoughts are all most welcome. XXX anythign is possible. however I believe the chance of that occuring is pretty low, and as such I would not attribute any illness towards a spiritual source... however i do think that physical conditions can leave us in situations where we'd be more susceptible to suggestions from spirits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stumblinginthemists Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Hi all, I just wanted to share an article from today's Daily Mail. I'm copying it in it's entirety as I'm not sure if I can post links, or how safe links are to the DM website to be honest. In any event, it sums up very well the general attitude of therapy here in the UK. "DR MAX: Please Kate, don't turn George into a therapy junkie By Dr Max Pemberton For The Daily Mail Yes, I know what I’m supposed to say. Well done, Kate! What a wonderful person you are! Thank you for speaking out about mental health problems in children. And I do feel that. Really I do. There’s just something that made my heart sink when I read the Duchess of Cambridge’s comment this week that she ‘would not hesitate’ to send her children to therapy if she thought they needed it. See more on Kate Middleton as she ‘would not hesitate’ to send her children to therapy There’s just something that made my heart sink when I read the Duchess of Cambridge’s comment this week that she ‘would not hesitate’ to send her children to therapy if she thought they needed it Kate was guest-editing a website as it launched a campaign to end the stigma around child mental health. She was heaped with praise for choosing what everyone claimed was an unfashionable subject. Actually, the really unfashionable subject is adult mental health. We all feel sorry for troubled children. It’s mentally ill adults who generate fear and prejudice. Speak up for adults with schizophrenia and people imagine you’re defending axe-wielding maniacs. Not a good public relations move. Of course, even if Kate chose a slightly safer cause to champion, it’s still a worthy one. And I don’t want to be churlish. But I couldn’t help but cringe, just a little, when she said she wanted ‘to encourage George and Charlotte to speak about their feelings, and to give them the tools and sensitivity to be supportive peers’. Kate Middleton guest edits blog post on mental illness. Kate was guest-editing a website as it launched a campaign to end the stigma around child mental health It sounded as though it was lifted straight out of some PR handbook. Slightly inauthentic, in other words — and when you’re talking about mental illness, being sincere and authentic are quite important. Clearly, Kate is a great advocate for talking problems through. She seems to think this is a panacea. I’m not so sure. You might be surprised to read this from me, but sometimes it’s better to bottle things up. Sometimes, talking endlessly about your feelings isn’t the answer. Sometimes, in fact, you just need to accept the past and move on. No amount of chatting is going to change what’s happened. Instead, the best advice doesn’t come from Freud, or Jung, but from a far more child-friendly source: Disney. I’m thinking of that maddening song from Frozen: Let It Go. After all, isn’t that all that psychotherapy is about, really? It’s meant to help us let go of something in the past and move on. I couldn’t help but cringe, just a little, when she said she wanted ‘to encourage George and Charlotte to speak about their feelings The trouble is that people get hooked on it. They keep turning over their problems like a treasured possession they can’t look at too often. Instead of letting go, they use psychotherapy to hold on. Yet all the time they convince themselves they’re being terribly brave and sensitive. That’s not to say I’m not a great fan of psychotherapy when it’s rigorous. I absolutely think that the unexamined life is not worth living. I’ve had psychotherapy and I’ve trained in it. But I also think there can be too much navel-gazing. And that’s not a good habit to get into — least of all right from childhood. How old do you have to be before you stop blaming your parents for all the mistakes you’ve made in your life? Of course, I’m not saying a stiff upper lip is always the answer. That can cause a multitude of problems as emotions fester. But it’s sometimes best to let wounds heal. Constantly reopening and examining them only makes the process take longer and scars more likely to form. I look at the younger generation who have embraced the idea that we must constantly examine every feeling we have. Are they happier? Have they grown noticeably wiser and more psychologically rounded? No. If anything, I think people have simply got a little more self-obsessed and narcissistic. I think about my gran and the hardships she endured. One of 14 born into crushing poverty, she watched as her brothers were killed one by one in World War II, was bombed out of her home, left school at 13 despite having won a place at a grammar, and fell for a man who turned out to be a violent alcoholic who beat her. N ot only did you never hear her complain, I didn’t even know about half of the stuff she’d gone through until after she died. She didn’t speak about it because she knew she couldn’t change what had happened and just had to get on with living. If Kate wants role models for her children, who are the modern royals we most admire? Who comes across as the most psychologically robust? It’s certainly not Princess Diana, who, much as I loved her, was hardly what you’d call psychologically stable. Despite hours upon hours of psychotherapy, she was still dogged by problems. More than any other royal, she spoke about her feelings and yet it did her no good whatsoever. If anything, she seemed all the more tormented by her psychological issues precisely because she spent so much time examining them. No, the royals whom people look up to are the Queen and Princess Anne, both of whom are paragons of emotional restraint. I’ve no doubt both have their issues, as everyone does, but they just get on with life, don’t they? They don’t wallow in self-pity or spend all day self-analysing. Yes, good for Kate that she’s speaking up about mental health. She genuinely seems a warm, caring mother. But turning little George and Charlotte into therapy junkies won’t do them any favours." LeSellers 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 I'm with Kate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiterateParakeet Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 (edited) I keep thinking about this thread, and I thought it might be helpful to add what counsel we have been given about therapy through the church. In one of my favorite talks, Like a Broken Vessel, Elder Holland said: Quote The Apostle Peter wrote that disciples of Jesus Christ are to have “compassion one of another.” 1 In that spirit I wish to speak to those who suffer from some form of mental illness or emotional disorder, whether those afflictions be slight or severe, of brief duration or persistent over a lifetime. We sense the complexity of such matters when we hear professionals speak of neuroses and psychoses, of genetic predispositions and chromosome defects, of bipolarity, paranoia, and schizophrenia. However bewildering this all may be, these afflictions are some of the realities of mortal life, and there should be no more shame in acknowledging them than in acknowledging a battle with high blood pressure or the sudden appearance of a malignant tumor. . . . If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation. Discussing healing from abuse, Elder Richard G. Scott said: Quote Your bishop can help you identify trustworthy friends to support you. He will help you regain self-confidence and self-esteem to begin the process of renewal. When abuse is extreme, he can help you identify appropriate protection and professional treatment consistent with the teachings of the Savior. https://www.lds.org/liahona/2014/03/youth/healing-the-tragic-scars-of-abuse?lang=eng Sis Cheiko Okazaki in her talk, "Healing From Sexual Abuse" said: Quote Now the third message I have is that women and men who have been sexually abused probably need professional help and certainly need personal support. In the vast majority of cases, they need professional help because sexual abuse, and particularly incest, attacks the very foundation of their identity. They need our personal support because they have learned not to trust other people and not even to trust themselves. Sometimes they have terrible memories which they deny. Sometimes there are even more terrible gaps in their memories, which they are terrified to explore. Such profound isolation from other people can come close to a kind of insanity. An Ensign article by Maxine Murdock about abuse says: Quote In fact, in aberrant behavior of the magnitude of incest, it is extremely critical that professional counseling occur, that neither time nor resources be spared to help resolve the matter. Treatment for the victim will vary with the child’s age, the length of time and severity of the abuse, and the extent to which the child was traumatized. Therapy can help resolve feelings of guilt, stigmatization, and low self-esteem. The resolution will be much easier if the victim feels love and support from family and friends as well as from Church members and leaders. https://www.lds.org/ensign/1993/01/hope-and-healing?lang=eng Another Ensign article, Mental Illness in Search of Understanding and Hope by Jan Underwood Pinborough: Quote This is unfortunate because depression is probably the most treatable of all mental illnesses. Perhaps 90 percent of depression victims can be helped. Therapy that teaches the patient to modify negative thought patterns to change his emotions is very helpful. Antidepressant medications are also quite effective. Priesthood blessings and prayer can lend spiritual power and aid healing. . . . Fortunately, help is available for anxiety disorders. Several medications are quite helpful in treating panic attacks and flee-floating anxiety. Behavior therapy can be quite effective in maintaining lasting changes and in dealing with specific phobias. . . . Many families have found that support groups and supportive therapy can be most helpful. (See “For Information and Support,” p. 57.) https://www.lds.org/ensign/1989/02/mental-illness-in-search-of-understanding-and-hope?lang=eng From "Disability Resources" on LDS.org Quote Most people with mental illnesses are neither violent nor dangerous. Recent advances in treatment have made it possible to manage or treat most mental illnesses. Most people are helped by treatment from a trained mental health professional. https://www.lds.org/topics/disability/list/mental-illness?lang=eng Edited February 21, 2016 by LiterateParakeet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 (edited) Hate to be negative about anything LDS but..I and a number of saints here, have had bad experiences with LDS counsellors. Perhaps because we are far from Utah? But I would pray, read scriptures daily but not all LDS counsellors are good ones. Edited February 22, 2016 by Sunday21 Spelling Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 24 minutes ago, Sunday21 said: Hate to be negative about anything LDS but..I and a number of saints here, have had bad experiences with LDS counsellors. Perhaps because we are far from Utah? But I would pray, read scriptures daily but not all LDS counsellors are good ones. Good point Sunday. Some LDS have a hard time realizing that just because something is LDS (artwork, entertainment, counseling, etc) doesn't mean it is "automatically great and wonderful" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 Wow, I was just trapped in some weird limbo forum issues involving quotes. Anyways, looks like MormonGator beat me to the punch. Simply being LDS doesn't = good Simply being a LDS Counselor doesn't = good Just to clarify, in case it was missed, I mentioned: "If given the choice, assuming everything else is equal, I personally would always chose to see a LDS therapist." If both counselors were equally good, non-LDS & LDS, I still would recommend LDS to help work through issues and have LDS perspectives and understanding. Sorry to anyone who has had bad experience. Just as a FYI, I live plenty far from Utah Blackmarch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 35 minutes ago, NeedleinA said: Anyways, looks like MormonGator beat me to the punch. Great minds bro. Great minds... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2016 Report Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) On 2/22/2016 at 9:06 PM, MormonGator said: Good point Sunday. Some LDS have a hard time realizing that just because something is LDS (artwork, entertainment, counseling, etc) doesn't mean it is "automatically great and wonderful" Amen. I know my profession is considered far from the spiritual realm, but I was somewhat disappointed that my predecessor was also LDS. Everyone spoke of him so negatively. He was not very good at his job and cost us some clients. Yet, he was adamant about his designs. Then I found out he was LDS as well. It turned out that many people thought negatively about Mormons in general because of him. Hopefully, I can help reverse that impression. --- Sorry for the sidebar. Now back to the OP -- Stumbling, I know it is really easy to attribute difficulties in life to Satan or God. But a lot of what happens to us is just plain life. But what is important is our response to them. Your response has been to reach out to people who you believe can help. The fact that you're choosing to ask for help here says that your heart is probably in the right place. The thing to focus on is not the cancer. Focus on how you are going to deal with it. Focus on gaining strength from the Lord to help you through it. Consider the poem "Footprints in the Sand." If you feel overwhelmed, place yourself before the Lord and let him know you can't do this without Him. I've found that often times, He doesn't remove the difficulty. He makes us stronger so we can handle it. Edited February 25, 2016 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Folk Prophet Posted February 25, 2016 Report Share Posted February 25, 2016 Of course there's a problem in that thinking. The fact that being LDS in and of itself does not make one a good counselor (which is true) doesn't equate to the statistical idea that, perhaps, broadly LDS counselors are better suited for such-n-such. Understanding the difference between individual bias and statistical facts is important. Women are statistically physically weaker than men = fact So-n-so is a woman so she must be weaker than me, a man = bias NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 (edited) On February 25, 2016 at 10:10 AM, Carborendum said: Amen. I know my profession is considered far from the spiritual realm, but I was somewhat disappointed that my predecessor was also LDS. Everyone spoke of him so negatively. He was not very good at his job and cost us some clients. Yet, he was adamant about his designs. Then I found out he was LDS as well. It turned out that many people thought negatively about Mormons in general because of him. Hopefully, I can help reverse that impression. - Yeah, just do your best. I've met some people who have bad impressions of LDS as well, and I've done my best to try to change their view. People never believe I'm LDS (even other LDS) and I sort of like that. In my new ward, someone's jaw dropped when I said "Oh yeah, we are baptized, sealed and endowed. All that jazz." So it lets me open doors both in and out of the church. Edited February 26, 2016 by MormonGator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo2002 Posted May 1, 2016 Report Share Posted May 1, 2016 I'm not a therapist, but after reading your initial post it sounds like the problem is you believe this illness is somehow a punishment from Heavenly Father or from Satan. Cancer can happen to anyone at any time, it happens because our cells have become damaged and have stopped doing what they are supposed to do. There are many things that can cause cancer, viruses, chemicals that enter the body, genetics, among many other things. God and Satan have nothing to do with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echo2002 Posted May 1, 2016 Report Share Posted May 1, 2016 I'm not a therapist, but after reading your initial post it sounds like the problem is you believe this illness is somehow a punishment from Heavenly Father or from Satan. Cancer can happen to anyone at any time, it happens because our cells have become damaged and have stopped doing what they are supposed to do. There are many things that can cause cancer, viruses, chemicals that enter the body, genetics, among many other things. God and Satan have nothing to do with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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