Funny Missionary Story

[Steve Noel]

I wanted to share a story I found to be very funny from Dr. Robert L. Millet, Professor of Ancient Scripture at BYU. I think you all might enjoy this as well. In chapter 4 of his book Getting at the Truth: Responding to Difficult Questions About LDS Beliefs Dr. Millet writes about the need for LDS members to have "Wisdom in Response" to outsiders asking questions. He writes that the Latter-day Saints "should stay in order" (79, emphasis his). By this he means that they should start with the basics and build upon that foundation over time. He then tells this story to illustrate his point:

 

Quote

"After I had been on my mission for about fifteen months, I was assigned to work in a beautiful section of Connecticut. My companion, a nice fellow to be sure, had one problem that affected the work somewhat - his mind seemed to wander much of the time. One early summer afternoon we approached the door of a lovely small home. A woman who appeared to be about thirty-five years old opened the front door and unlatched the screen door. "Yes? Is there something I can do for you?" It was my companion's turn to be spokesman, so Elder Jackson (not his real name) answered. "We're missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We have a message about Christ that we would like to share with you." She looked us over very carefully. Then she responded, "I don't think so. I have my own faith." After waiting uncomfortably for a least ten or fifteen seconds, I blurted out, "What church do you attend?" "I didn't say I attended a church," she came right back, "I said I had my own faith." Surprised, I asked, "Could you tell us about your faith?" "I don't think I want to. You would make fun of me." I assured her we would not. "What is you faith?" I asked. "Well," she timidly declared, "I believe the physical body is the temple of God and that people ought to take better care of their bodies. For example, I think it's wrong for people to smoke or drink." I replied that we felt her thinking was right on the mark. She continued, "Well, there's more. I don't drink coffee or tea. What do Mormons believe?" It was difficult for me not to answer, but I felt I ought to allow Elder Jackson to respond to what was obviously a great teaching moment. I could almost see the wheels in his mental machinery turning. He answered, "Well, we believe in baptism for the dead." The woman carefully pulled the screen door shut and latched it. Before closing the main door she said, with a pained look on her face, "That sounds sick." I had some idea of what she was thinking and of how bizarre the Latter-day Saints appeared to be. Mostly, I was stunned, shocked. Before we left the porch, I turned to Elder Jackson and asked in utter disbelief, "What are you doing?" He seemed offended and asked, "We do believe in baptism for the dead, don't we?" I said, "Yes, we do, Elder Jackson. Why didn't you tell her about polygamy?" His response was even more stunning. "I thought about doing that next, but she closed the door." "Elder," I said, "this lady lives the Word of Wisdom." "I thought that was odd," he commented, as we walked to the next door." (79-81)

 

[Sunday21]

Thanks for sharing! Hysterical and so sad.

[NeedleinA]

21 minutes ago, Steve Noel said:

he means that they should start with the basics and build upon that foundation over time. 

During LDS church services, on Sunday, there are two main combined adult classes for instruction: Gospel Principles (basics) & Gospel Doctrine (more advanced). I should be attending the advanced, but like going into the basics instead. This class is intended for investigators of the church and newer members just starting out. There are about 3 of us in this class who should be in the advanced class, but choose to be there instead. Sometimes I feel like I better not leave the basics class, if for nothing more than trying to keep the other 2 "advanced" members from "information dumping and overloading" the investigators and new members. 

In any setting, it is obviously good to get to know your audience and if you want to have a meaningful dialogue, start by speaking at their level first.

No different than a doctor or computer "nerd" dumbing things down into understandable/common terms for clients.

Cute missionary story, but bummer.

[beefche]

I served a mission in Bulgaria not long after Bulgaria gave up communism and was jumping into parlimentary government. We had people who were very distrustful of us as Americans as well as Mormons, and thought of us as a cult. Lots and lots of false information was being disseminated about Mormons. So, we were used to people being unkind and even belligerent towards us. 

As my companion and I waited on a bus stop with a young teen member, I was asking my young friend what a word meant. She was trying to explain it to me, but I just couldn't understand it. Finally, the man behind us (who had been rude for quite some time while waiting) had had enough. "It means to get out of here! It's something you say to a pesky bug, Get out of here!" My young friend was frightened, but I (being used to such behavior) turned to him and genuinely thanked him. He actually helped me to understand the phrase! "Thank you so much! I finally understand it! You are so kind to explain that to me!" He looked startled and suspicious at first, but then he look annoyed and moved away. I turned back to my young friend with a smile and she looked at me. I told her that sometimes responding with kindness was best--I got what I wanted, an explanation and an annoying bug moved away from us.

[Sunday21]

31 minutes ago, beefche said:

I served a mission in Bulgaria not long after Bulgaria gave up communism and was jumping into parlimentary government. We had people who were very distrustful of us as Americans as well as Mormons, and thought of us as a cult. Lots and lots of false information was being disseminated about Mormons. So, we were used to people being unkind and even belligerent towards us. 

As my companion and I waited on a bus stop with a young teen member, I was asking my young friend what a word meant. She was trying to explain it to me, but I just couldn't understand it. Finally, the man behind us (who had been rude for quite some time while waiting) had had enough. "It means to get out of here! It's something you say to a pesky bug, Get out of here!" My young friend was frightened, but I (being used to such behavior) turned to him and genuinely thanked him. He actually helped me to understand the phrase! "Thank you so much! I finally understand it! You are so kind to explain that to me!" He looked startled and suspicious at first, but then he look annoyed and moved away. I turned back to my young friend with a smile and she looked at me. I told her that sometimes responding with kindness was best--I got what I wanted, an explanation and an annoying bug moved away from us.

Clever you!

[Vort]

Steve, I have been thinking of you while watching General Conference. I hope you've been able to watch this session.

[NeedleinA]

23 minutes ago, Vort said:

Steve, I have been thinking of you while watching General Conference. I hope you've been able to watch this session.

Bingo, bingo Vort... exactly the same impressions here.

[Steve Noel]

2 hours ago, Vort said:

Steve, I have been thinking of you while watching General Conference. I hope you've been able to watch this session.

Thanks. I watched a couple of the speakers. Then I took a nap. This sickness has me pretty tired.

[Ironhold]

2 hours ago, Steve Noel said:

Thanks. I watched a couple of the speakers. Then I took a nap. This sickness has me pretty tired.

You're not the only one down, so don't feel too bad. I'm having trouble staying awake as well. 

[beefche]

40 minutes ago, Ironhold said:

You're not the only one down, so don't feel too bad. I'm having trouble staying awake as well. 

My time is Sunday 2nd session. It seems to me that they don't have as many hymns and more speakers. Those voices just lull me to sleep. I can never stay awake during the Sunday 2nd session....

[Steve Noel]

I did watch just about all of Saturday's 2nd session. One thing is for sure... your leaders cry a lot 

[LeSellers]

14 minutes ago, Steve Noel said:

One thing is for sure... your leaders cry a lot 

When the Holy Ghost works on a man's soul, it often seems to lead to tears.

Lehi

[Ironhold]

1 hour ago, beefche said:

My time is Sunday 2nd session. It seems to me that they don't have as many hymns and more speakers. Those voices just lull me to sleep. I can never stay awake during the Sunday 2nd session....

I have bad allergies, and so sometimes my lungs fill with assorted crud. 

...And sometimes, I get heartburn so bad it actually liquifies this crud. 

[Sunday21]

10 minutes ago, Steve Noel said:

I did watch just about all of Saturday's 2nd session. One thing is for sure... your leaders cry a lot 

HaHa. I thought that when I came into the church...not about the leaders but about the people in my ward (parish). I was serving in Relief Society Presidency, there were 3 of us. Relief Society is the women's organization. I was scheduled to give a talk and my president asked me if I had written it yet. I said, 'no I am going to do what you guys do. Talk for 30 seconds and then burst into tears!' Both of the other ladies were big cryers.

Not very nice of me.

I never can understand the crying myself. But.. I have come to respect many people in the church deeply and some of them are cryers. Jesus wept and I respect him most of all. Still don't get the crying but that is probably my cold little heart!

[Steve Noel]

1 hour ago, Sunday21 said:

HaHa. I thought that when I came into the church...not about the leaders but about the people in my ward (parish). I was serving in Relief Society Presidency, there were 3 of us. Relief Society is the women's organization. I was scheduled to give a talk and my president asked me if I had written it yet. I said, 'no I am going to do what you guys do. Talk for 30 seconds and then burst into tears!' Both of the other ladies were big cryers.

Not very nice of me.

I never can understand the crying myself. But.. I have come to respect many people in the church deeply and some of them are cryers. Jesus wept and I respect him most of all. Still don't get the crying but that is probably my cold little heart!

I am not critical of the emotion. I am part of an Evangelical tradition (Pentecostalism) that is alright with open expressions of emotion. I am just having fun with you all.

[Vort]

2 hours ago, Steve Noel said:

I did watch just about all of Saturday's 2nd session. One thing is for sure... your leaders cry a lot 

Depends on the leader. President Eyring very often gets choked up, and since he's in the First Presidency, he speaks three or four times during the Conference, so we hear a lot of choking up on his part. President Nelson seems to be getting more emotional in his talks in the last decade. In contrast, though Elder Oaks sometimes treads on emotional ground, he rarely chokes up. The Spirit seems to work differently on different people.

[LeSellers]

20 minutes ago, Vort said:

Depends on the leader. President Eyring very often gets choked up, and since he's in the First Presidency, he speaks three or four times during the Conference, so we hear a lot of choking up on his part. President Nelson seems to be getting more emotional in his talks in the last decade. In contrast, though Elder Oaks sometimes treads on emotional ground, he rarely chokes up. The Spirit seems to work differently on different people.

I dispute that it's "emotion". These men are among the most spiritual people on the planet. When the Holy Ghost is influencing in His power, the recipient often reacts with tears, or with a more powerful voice, or any of a number of audible or visual anomalies.

Emotions and spiritual reactions are often similar, but they are not the same things.

Lehi

[Connie]

He relates this same story in another of his books called Getting at the Truth. It is rather funny, in a tragic sort of way. What a lost opportunity! You might be interested in reading that book. It’s a great starting point for some of the more common concerns that crop up about the LDS faith.

[Steve Noel]

2 hours ago, Connie said:

He relates this same story in another of his books called Getting at the Truth. It is rather funny, in a tragic sort of way. What a lost opportunity! You might be interested in reading that book. It’s a great starting point for some of the more common concerns that crop up about the LDS faith.

If you look in the OP you will see that this is the book I am quoting from. I started to read it several years ago and didn't get too far in. I will restart soon.

[Bad Karma]

I think that the air circulation goes wonky when I give talks and I get "stuff" in my eyes..... 

I guess it happens at GC as well. 

[Connie]

9 hours ago, Steve Noel said:

If you look in the OP you will see that this is the book I am quoting from. I started to read it several years ago and didn't get too far in. I will restart soon.

Wow. I didn't read that very carefully at all. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoy the book.