Have I annoyed the missionaries?


IrishMormon
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Hi. I'm a 20 year old investigator trying to find out about the LDS Church. I first wanted to learn about the church last month, when I saw a video about Joseph Smith which really resonated with me. I was raised Catholic (but grew disillusioned due to some of the ways that church operates) but I've always had a strong faith in God and was looking for a new Church. When I saw the movie about Joseph Smith and found out about how there was a modern-day prophet (something I've always wondered about) it really resonated with me so I wanted to learn more. I sent an email to one of the LDS websites, where I got in touch with someone who was able to find a missionary in my city to speak to me.

My first meeting with the two missionaries (let's call them Elder C and Elder V) was last Thursday. It went well and I got a Book of Mormon. I was interested in the stuff they talked about and it made a lot of sense to me.

The next day we had another lesson. Our lessons take place in the chapel instead of my house because I live with my landlady, so I don't want to bring guests over. They talked about the three degrees of Heaven - again, it all made a lot of sense to me. Directly after that lesson, we had a game of volleyball with other members of the Church. It was a lot of fun, even though I was terrible at it.

Then the next day (Saturday) we had another lesson. However, it was scheduled to take place at 1:00 in the afternoon, but then just before it was time to meet-up, they texted me to say that they had to change the time to 3:00. Eventually this became 4:00, and when they finally did show up they didn't have the key so we had to talk in the street instead of the bus-stop. We talked for exactly ten minutes before they got the bus home. They had made me wait around for 4 hours, just so we'd have a 10 minute meeting.

The next day was Sunday. I'm yet to gain testimony so I felt it best to not attend the seminary. I texted them saying that I'd only attend the final two hours of church (the gospel principles class and the priesthood, where I could learn more about the church). However when I got to the chapel (a few minutes before seminary ended) an older Brother saw me in the corridor and asked me to sit next to him through the end of the seminary. Afterwards we had Gospel Principles and the priesthood. One of the other Elders, Elder H, (the missionary I get on best with) talked to me throughout it all but the missionaries who're supposed to be teaching me didn't talk to me except for the very end when one of them told me that we'd have a lesson the next day (Monday).

This lesson was postponed to Tuesday. Again, the lesson was delayed for an hour and when it eventually was on, one of the missionaries (the one who hadn't talked to me during church) was at another meeting instead. So Elder H took his place. The Elders talked about chastisy (I asked them if we could do this lesson when I txted them the day before). During it, I admitted that one of the things that was stopping me from fully-accepting this Church was how it views homosexuality, and how one of the Baptist Questions addresses homosexuality (I was afraid that I'd be asked the Baptism Questions in front of everyone, I hadn't realised that the baptism interview takes place on a seperate day to the actual baptism itself). I admitted that when I was young I had been homosexual. The Elders seemed okay with it.

However today (yes, they had organised another lesson for today! I've had a lesson pretty much every day) the Elders didn't turn up. They said they were on their way but I waited around for half an hour and none of them turned up. I then txted them asking if they were coming and they never replied.

 

So my question is: why do they keep (a) changing the time of our meetings and (b) why didn't they turn up today? Have I somehow annoyed them? Their constant "changing the time" is beginning to really inconvenience me because it means I have to wait around for three hours, even though I have other things I should be doing. How do I tell them that without coming across as being nasty? I know they've probably got a lot of people to be seeing but at this point it's getting ridiculous. Would it be okay to tell them that, if they continue to be late or if they continue to not show up, I'm just going to walk away. I really want to join this Church - I have a lot of faith in it - but unfortunately, to get baptised, I need to have the missionary lessons, and the missionaries' time-keeping is making that really difficult. Are missionaries usually like this?

 

NOTE: This isn't meant to be an attack on the LDS church. I've enjoyed the time I've spent learning more about the church and everyone in there seems nice. It's just this one issue (time-keeping) that's really beginning to grate on my nerves.

Edited by IrishMormon
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Hello, IrishMormon, and welcome aboard.

I remember when I was a missionary (this was years ago), people were forever canceling on us (or ecclesiastical leaders were dispatching us to spur-of-the-moment appointments at locations far off our beaten path) and we were pretty much always woefully off-schedule.  Naturally, that doesn't make things any less convenient for you. 

If you believe that Mormonism is what it purports to be, then it strikes me that it would be unfortunate to walk away from it due to the flakiness of your local missionaries.  On the other hand--I don't think a few statements along the same lines of what you've said here--"Elders, I'm really loving what I'm hearing, but I do have other commitments throughout the day and I need us to stick a little closer to schedule"--would go amiss at all.

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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57 minutes ago, IrishMormon said:

Would it be okay to tell them that, if they continue to be late or if they continue to not show up, I'm just going to walk away. I really want to join this Church - I have a lot of faith in it - but unfortunately, to get baptised, I need to have the missionary lessons, and the missionaries' time-keeping is making that really difficult. Are missionaries usually like this?

Some are just like this. Two elders come to mind (named, oddly enough , "Elder C" and "Elder V"). Some are more punctual.

Seriously, they're 19-year-olds and have all the foibles of other 19-year-olds. On the other hand, they have what most other 19-year-olds do not have: The Gospel of Jesus Christ. Please give them a break.

Along with Just_A_Guy, though, I'd let them know that this is not acceptable. I know I put a lot of effort into making my appointments on time, back in the early dark ages, so this seems out of character for most missionaries that I've even known or heard of. The whole point of their service is to make entering God's kingdom as easy as possible, not more difficult. And you can tell 'em I said so. (Not worth much, mind, but give it a go.)

Lehi

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1 hour ago, IrishMormon said:

It was a lot of fun, even though I was terrible at it.

Pretty sure that's how it's supposed to work. :P

1 hour ago, IrishMormon said:

The next day was Sunday. I'm yet to gain testimony so I felt it best to not attend the seminary.

Everyone is welcome - testimony or not.  (We call it "Sacrament meeting", or just "church" - in the US, anyway.)

1 hour ago, IrishMormon said:

Have I somehow annoyed them?

I doubt it, but if you have, that's on them to get over, so I wouldn't worry about it.

1 hour ago, IrishMormon said:

Would it be okay to tell them that, if they continue to be late or if they continue to not show up, I'm just going to walk away. I really want to join this Church - I have a lot of faith in it - but unfortunately, to get baptised, I need to have the missionary lessons, and the missionaries' time-keeping is making that really difficult. Are missionaries usually like this?

Tell them you really need them to work harder to stick to your schedule.  I wouldn't tell them you're walking away - and I sincerely hope you don't (walk away) - you are feeling the Spirit whisper the truth, as Lehi and JAG have said, please don't let flaky 19-year-olds ruin that.  In case no one's told you, they transfer in and out of areas - I don't know how often that happens where you are, but you might get lucky and have some more punctual ones transfer in... :)

1 hour ago, IrishMormon said:

NOTE: This isn't meant to be an attack on the LDS church. I've enjoyed the time I've spent learning more about the church and everyone in there seems nice. It's just this one issue (time-keeping) that's really beginning to grate on my nerves.

It didn't sound like an attack, so all is well.  We're very glad you've come to talk with us and hope you'll stick around!  (The time issue would grate on my nerves too, BTW.)

Edited by zil
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In my experience, missionaries are late >95% of the time, but 3 hours and chronically cancelling is a problem.   I would advise say "hey don't leave me orphaned!" do they can realize that they've dropped the ball and pick it up (they can't do this while being clueless, as 19 y.o.s often are).  Open honesty is always the best policy.

And BTW: welcome to the forums!

Edited by Jane_Doe
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I truely sympathize! Yeah 19 year olds! The good thing is that eventually one by one, they will be replaced. Think about it this way, there are some things that you know to be true for example you have twenty pounds in your wallet. Now if you were an absolute imbecile that would not change the fact that you have twenty pounds in your wallet. The truth that the missionaries have to share is still true even if those two are a pair of utterly gormless idiots.

By the way, I had to dinner one night, one female investigator, two missionaries, and two male members of the high priest quorum. I left them in the living room and went to fuss with dinner. When I returned what did I see? The female investigator stranded awkwardly in the centre of the room looking lonely and awkward. One high priest and one missionary over in a corner arguing politics. And in another corner, the other high priest and the other missionary arguing about the economy. It is not just the 19 year olds who are a pair of rite idjets!

 

Edited by Sunday21
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