For the Ladies, Who would you marry?

[mordorbund]

46 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said:

@mordorbund I sent you a PM, that I hope will clarify this bettwr...some of it might be TMI for some readers.

Now I have a question for the men. Why does this bother you so much? To be clear, I'm not saying I would reject any guy who ever  looked at porn. That would be ridiculous since it's pretty much unavoidable these days. What I, and other women, are objecting too is hours and hours  (maybe years) of it. And remember the poll said we could only choose one. So why is ther so much push back on the one we chose. Would you still be debating this if the majority of women chose the guy with the porn history? Why?

For me it's much of what @estradling75 says. When it actually enters the scene (as in if I discovered my spouse or a loved one has a porn issue or even an affair for that matter) the hierarchy flies out the window and my brain goes into utilitarian mode. It doesn't matter if there's something "worse" or "better". This is. This must be dealt with. He needs to find a way to be clean again. She needs to see how trust can be repaired. The marriage needs healing (these "needs" are only to define what's lacking, not some mandate).

If this poll existed in a vacuum, I'm with TFP - you need to get off this island. But when I see this poll after some of the threads in the past I find myself baffled (it happens a lot, so don't hand out any trophies). My brain goes into the utility of the scene (what must be done) when posters jump to emotion (which is already understandable, there are women on my island), and blurt out a hierarchy that doesn't make any sense to me even when it's still hypothetical.

Going back to utility, I've accepted that women feel personally hurt by pornography use and one of the ways of expressing that hurt is say they wished some other evil had befallen them instead. There may be more going on, but that is the model I currently have and it gets me more mileage than I had before.

[NeedleinA]

Personal flaw, not very spiritual, I'm sorry... I've read the title to this thread 50+ times now. My eyes keep trying to convert it from...

For the Ladies, Who would you marry?  =  "Beyoncé - Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"