Two questions about conversion


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Hi all,

Well, two years of investigating and I'm still stuck and undecided. Thank you all for bearing with me. I've worked through many of the roadblocks I've had over baptism, yet there are still a couple of issues that I'm struggling with.

The first is tithing in a single-member family. The missionaries told me that since my husband will not be joining the church and I am a stay at home mom, my tithing responsibility would be zero. However, I am in the job market and will likely be back at work in the next year or so. It is my understanding that once I'm working, I would be tithing based on my own income. I've done the math, and I would be tithed about $350-400 a month based on a $50,000 a year salary. Yikes! That is a car payment--on a *nice* car, and would basically be what I would be paying in after school child care. It wouldn't even make working worth it at that point, and I love my field of work (librarianship) and would not want to lose it. For full-member families, tithing is a given, but for me, it is quite a daunting thought. (Not that I'm planning on buying a car, but I'm just using that to quantify just how much of our budget that would constitute.)

My second question is more emotional in nature. Although at this point I am in opposition to Catholic doctrine, I've only ever been Catholic and I'm afraid I would get "homesick." While I am ideologically in line with LDS beliefs, I worry that once I'm a church member I would miss my parish, the music, my old church community, etc. Have any of you converted and had to deal with the emotional aspect of leaving behind a faith tradition? How did you cope?

These are such strange, random issues to be blocked by, I know! I'm trying my best to resolve these issues so I can go into a possible baptism with no regrets or second thoughts.

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9 minutes ago, Catlick said:

 

My second question is more emotional in nature. Although at this point I am in opposition to Catholic doctrine, I've only ever been Catholic and I'm afraid I would get "homesick." While I am ideologically in line with LDS beliefs, I worry that once I'm a church member I would miss my parish, the music, my old church community, etc. Have any of you converted and had to deal with the emotional aspect of leaving behind a faith tradition? How did you cope?

 

Speaking as a former Catholic I can tell you, you don't get homesick. For the most part the LDS community is incredibly welcoming and inviting. It's totally unlike what I experienced growing up orthodox catholic.  

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Congratulations on getting this far. I was born a Mormon, but I imagine it must be a major decision to join the church.

First, I would say keep in remembrance what you have felt from the Holy Ghost. I assume you have felt that in your discussions with missionaries, in church meetings, etc. If not, then seek to have that experience. When you feel that, you know it's true. It might be necessary to just take the leap of faith at this point, trusting in God and the witness you've had from the Spirit that it's true.

Regarding tithing, I'm not sure I completely understand the situation with a single-member family. But it sounds like, regardless, you are feeling like you should pay tithing. One thing that might help is not focus on the amount, but that it's only 10% of your income. Personally, I love paying tithing. It's proof to myself that I trust the Lord, that I love him more than money. It's a way of showing gratitude for the other 90% he has blessed me with. I enjoy too the knowledge that it's going to help build up God's kingdom and help other people.

Regarding your previous church, I love the following quote by the prophet Gordon Hinckley:

Quote

Let me say that we appreciate the truth in all churches and the good which they do. We say to the people, in effect, you bring with you all the good that you have, and then let us see if we can add to it.

If you think of Mormonism as adding more to supplement what truths you have learned in the past, perhaps that will help. Also, I don't know if I'm off base, but I don't know why you couldn't visit your old church when you wanted to, if you miss the experience. It might help to go "cold turkey" at first, until you adjust to being your new Mormon church. Also, I am going to assume that once you feel at home in the Mormon church, you will see a lot of new and good things there, and not miss your old faith so much.

I hope my thoughts might help. Best wishes, and God bless you.

Edited by tesuji
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tesuji, that is one of my favorite quotes as well! It has definitely helped put things in perspective for me. And the ward members have told me that keeping in touch with my Catholic friends and any social events is fine, and may help ease the process. I just know for sure that the LDS church is true and probably the truest thing I've heard with regard to the meaning of life. Thank you.

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Catlick, so good to hear from you- and with such exciting news too!

Yes, tithing is hard.  HARD.  No one is denying this.  We love our money, love our cars, love our fancy clothes, but we should LOVE our God.  

As to being "homesick", that I totally understand as well.  But remember, learning more Truth and going to a place of more Truth, doesn't mean you still can't be friends with old friends.  Doesn't mean you have to ditch Catholic music-- some of it is quite wonderful.  You don't have to abandon your old family/community at all.  Heck, I've moved far away from my home congregation (100's of miles), and still keep in touch with all the happenings.  If I miss somebody, then I get in contact and ask to have lunch- that simple.

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1 hour ago, Catlick said:

Hi all,

Well, two years of investigating and I'm still stuck and undecided. Thank you all for bearing with me. I've worked through many of the roadblocks I've had over baptism, yet there are still a couple of issues that I'm struggling with.

The first is tithing in a single-member family. The missionaries told me that since my husband will not be joining the church and I am a stay at home mom, my tithing responsibility would be zero. However, I am in the job market and will likely be back at work in the next year or so. It is my understanding that once I'm working, I would be tithing based on my own income. I've done the math, and I would be tithed about $350-400 a month based on a $50,000 a year salary. Yikes! That is a car payment--on a *nice* car, and would basically be what I would be paying in after school child care. It wouldn't even make working worth it at that point, and I love my field of work (librarianship) and would not want to lose it. For full-member families, tithing is a given, but for me, it is quite a daunting thought. (Not that I'm planning on buying a car, but I'm just using that to quantify just how much of our budget that would constitute.)

My second question is more emotional in nature. Although at this point I am in opposition to Catholic doctrine, I've only ever been Catholic and I'm afraid I would get "homesick." While I am ideologically in line with LDS beliefs, I worry that once I'm a church member I would miss my parish, the music, my old church community, etc. Have any of you converted and had to deal with the emotional aspect of leaving behind a faith tradition? How did you cope?

These are such strange, random issues to be blocked by, I know! I'm trying my best to resolve these issues so I can go into a possible baptism with no regrets or second thoughts.

Here's some 2 cents from me - a former Catholic who has a giant devout Catholic family whose friends are mostly Catholic and who comes from a predominantly Catholic country.

First on tithing - in a part-member household, if you can't convince your spouse to pay tithing on your own income and you yourself have faith in the law of tithes, you just need to tell this to the bishop during settlement and hand him zero dollars.  The decision to give you a temple recommend anyway lies with the bishop and stake presidency but I am fairly confident that this will not cause you to lose any blessings from your covenant to tithe.

So, the only issue here would be if you have faith in the law of tithe.  So, I'm going to be very blunt here (I don't have any intention to offend - just give you a different way to look at it).  When you learned that you're going to be making $50,000 but that your take home pay is only $45,000 after taxes, did it ever come to your mind to say, Yikes!  That's is a car payment on a "nice" car and then have angst over whether you should pay your taxes or not?  If not, then why not?  I'm going to guess that you think that money doesn't belong to you but rather to the government and you're afraid to go to jail so you didn't even think twice about it....

Now think of how easily giving up your money to pay taxes is compared to your angst of paying tithes.  The main difference here is that you have historically SEEN the benefits of paying taxes and and you have SEEN people go to jail for not paying it.  Everybody does it so you do it.  Whereas, you have NOT SEEN the spiritual benefits of paying tithes and you have NOT SEEN what spiritual suffering people have for not paying it so you still feel that it is your money to decide what to do with instead of Christ's money that He decides what to do with.  This is where FAITH comes in.  A lot of times you get faith promoting stories like - I started paying tithes and I got a promotion at work... or I closed my eyes and paid tithes knowing that we won't have enough to pay our bills and the next day I found lost money... or something like that.  Those are okay but it is not enough.  FAITH should be built on what you can GIVE to CHRIST and not what you receive from Him.  Faith is about not knowing what will come next but you're going to obey the covenant anyway because you LOVE Him.

 

Okay... on being homesick - it's inevitable.  There will be things that will separate you from your Catholic friends and family.  But, it doesn't have to be a full separation.  For example - I was the cantor for the Catholic Church when I got baptized LDS.  My baptism was a spur of the moment thing - it was not planned at all.  So, there were a few Sundays where I continued to cantor for the Catholic Church until they could find a replacement.  Several members of the choir noticed that I didn't line up for the Eucharist so I felt very self-conscious but it was fine.  Then, of course, there were the Catholic baptisms, first communions, confirmations, etc. etc. of my nieces and nephews that are always big party events... I attended them all.  Then there's Lent and Christmas - very big productions in the Catholic Church.  I attended them with my family too.  I don't line up for the Eucharist or to kiss the foot of Jesus.. I use that time to pray and ponder.  I go through the Stations of the Cross but I do my own reflections not necessarily following the Catholic reflections.  It took about 3 years or so before I quit going to the Lent and Christmas events at the Catholic Church.  Yes, when I attend mass for those special events (the most recent one was my dad's wake and funeral where they had mass every single day for 9 days and nightly prayers for 31 more days), I still feel that poignant feeling of that grand tradition - that same feeling I get when I visit my home country, some kind of homesickness... it's okay to feel that way but it doesn't detract from my testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true Church.

 

Edited by anatess2
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Jane_Doe, It is so good to hear that you don't hesitate to keep in contact with friends from your former congregation. And the music--thank you for such a practical way of looking at it. Of course, I can still listen to the music, it won't just disappear. I think I need to make my peace with still having those aspects of my Catholicism with me while taking on a new faith identity.

anatess2, thank you so much. Comparing tithing to taxes is something that never crossed my mind, what a helpful comparison! It really helps put it in perspective, and I do see the good it does in doing the work of the church, maintaining buildings, etc. That makes total sense. Still something I'd have to budget out, and something I don't look forward to discussing with my agnostic husband. I'll keep praying on this, because I feel so strongly led on this path.

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2 hours ago, Catlick said:

Hi all,

Well, two years of investigating and I'm still stuck and undecided. Thank you all for bearing with me. I've worked through many of the roadblocks I've had over baptism, yet there are still a couple of issues that I'm struggling with.

The first is tithing in a single-member family. The missionaries told me that since my husband will not be joining the church and I am a stay at home mom, my tithing responsibility would be zero. However, I am in the job market and will likely be back at work in the next year or so. It is my understanding that once I'm working, I would be tithing based on my own income. I've done the math, and I would be tithed about $350-400 a month based on a $50,000 a year salary. Yikes! That is a car payment--on a *nice* car, and would basically be what I would be paying in after school child care. It wouldn't even make working worth it at that point, and I love my field of work (librarianship) and would not want to lose it. For full-member families, tithing is a given, but for me, it is quite a daunting thought. (Not that I'm planning on buying a car, but I'm just using that to quantify just how much of our budget that would constitute.)

My second question is more emotional in nature. Although at this point I am in opposition to Catholic doctrine, I've only ever been Catholic and I'm afraid I would get "homesick." While I am ideologically in line with LDS beliefs, I worry that once I'm a church member I would miss my parish, the music, my old church community, etc. Have any of you converted and had to deal with the emotional aspect of leaving behind a faith tradition? How did you cope?

These are such strange, random issues to be blocked by, I know! I'm trying my best to resolve these issues so I can go into a possible baptism with no regrets or second thoughts.

Hi!

Im a recent convert,  I was baptised in April,  I'm also a lady and my husband isn't a member.

OK tithing..  Yeah it's a lot,  yeah I tithe on my income but it's still alot.. However now I just feel so good when I write my slip and put my cheque in the envelope. I don't even notice the money, it's not mine it's the Lords so he can have it back.  Also my husband was fine about tithing as long as it's on my income as he knows how important it is to me.

 

I was also a Catholic (lots of Catholics convert to LDS,  It proves the great apostasy / restoration for me, the Catholic Church had some truth, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has it all, and we are drawn to it) anyway... I read a good book when I was converting called Catholic Dawn, Mormon Harvest about two Catholics who converted.  It was a brilliant book! I don't miss the Catholic Church at all..  I get much better spiritually fed now.   Music wise my favourite him was what a friend we have in Jesus,  but I really love some of the Church hymns like put your shoulder to the wheel or The spirit of God, there is sunshine in my soul today, I know that my redeemer lives and obviously Israel Israel God is calling ?

 

Edited by An Investigator
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It is so helpful to hear from other converts, An Investigator! And congrats on 'taking the plunge'! :) Great point about Catholics being drawn to the LDS church, it would be a matter of the recognition of the truth, wouldn't it? I never thought of it that way! And Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel is one of my favorites, too! As well as I'll Go Where You Want me to Go.

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@Catlick I'm not terribly helpful. I'm not a "convert" per se, and I've always paid my tithing.

My father told me when I was young (not sure if it was his wisdom or something he heard too?)... he basically said:
"Needle, how can the Lord trust us to be good stewards of a lot if we are poor stewards of a little". Meaning if we can't manage to pay tithing when we have a little, why would the Lord bless us with even more. We choose to obey the commandment of tithing in the "circumstances" we currently find ourselves, not in some future hypothetical.

Paying tithing is so second nature I don't think of it in terms of what I missed out on, but rather "perfect, I got to pay my tithing".

Option A:  Keep 90% Income + Additional Blessings
or
Option B: Keep 100% Income + forfeit associated blessings with tithing

We can all "do" and "be" better with the additional blessing vs. 10% that was never really ours to begin with. Yep, I just deposited my 2 cents.
 

Edited by NeedleinA
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47 minutes ago, An Investigator said:

...Music wise my favourite him was what a friend we have in Jesus,  but I really love some of the Church hymns like put your shoulder to the wheel or The spirit of God, there is sunshine in my soul today, I know that my redeemer lives and obviously Israel Israel God is calling ?

An Investigator, I'm not sure too many LDS would catch your joke with the mentioning of those hymns. :) I remember listening once to the melody of Israel Israel God is Calling just before the tabernacle choir was about to sing, thinking, I know this song and then being totally confused by the strange lyrics. At least if you're not familiar with those lyrics yet you can always sing What a friend we have in Jesus instead. :) 

M.

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4 minutes ago, Maureen said:

An Investigator, I'm not sure too many LDS would catch your joke with the mentioning of those hymns. :) I remember listening once to the melody of Israel Israel God is Calling just before the tabernacle choir was about to sing, thinking, I know this song and then being totally confused by the strange lyrics. At least if you're not familiar with those lyrics yet you can always sing What a friend we have in Jesus instead. :) 

M.

Wait Maureen, are you saying some other group borrowed our hymn's music?;)

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42 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Maybe she was being sarcastic?

If that's what you think then you don't understand sarcasm at all.

My comments to An Investigator were true, about my first hearing the song Israel Israel God is Calling.

Are you trying to be sarcastic Eowyn or just petty?

M.

 

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9 minutes ago, Maureen said:

If that's what you think then you don't understand sarcasm at all.

My comments to An Investigator were true, about my first hearing the song Israel Israel God is Calling.

Are you trying to be sarcastic Eowyn or just petty?

M.

Neither one, Maureen, just funny.  It's OK that you didn't catch her sarcasm earlier, now she's teasing that maybe we're missing your sarcasm now, knowing full well you weren't being sarcastic.  It must be an acquired taste, cuz I though it was very funny.

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47 minutes ago, Maureen said:

If that's what you think then you don't understand sarcasm at all.

My comments to An Investigator were true, about my first hearing the song Israel Israel God is Calling.

Are you trying to be sarcastic Eowyn or just petty?

M.

 

Just having a little fun. Try it, you might like it.

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39 minutes ago, zil said:

Neither one, Maureen, just funny.  It's OK that you didn't catch her sarcasm earlier, now she's teasing that maybe we're missing your sarcasm now, knowing full well you weren't being sarcastic.  It must be an acquired taste, cuz I though it was very funny.

Aw, zil... You get me.

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6 hours ago, Catlick said:

 

My second question is more emotional in nature. Although at this point I am in opposition to Catholic doctrine, I've only ever been Catholic and I'm afraid I would get "homesick." While I am ideologically in line with LDS beliefs, I worry that once I'm a church member I would miss my parish, the music, my old church community, etc. Have any of you converted and had to deal with the emotional aspect of leaving behind a faith tradition? How did you cope?

 

@Catlick

dear catlick, 

also as a former catholic I can assure you if you do miss your old parish, the inquisition will not grab you at the doorstep of your church and burn you at the stake =) Being a member never hindered me to peek into other peoples churches or attend services for the various reasons ( weddings, funerals ... you name them ) and if you do feel like you wanna go by, go by then. You know, free agency and such =) Being a member of the LDS church is not an exclusive deal and after all, I happen to have missed the ranch indoctrination and sequestering away for some brainwashing meeting if there ever was such a thing ;-)

Alas, I also commend you for taking your time with the decision to convert. I did the same albeit not two years. It is important that you feel comfortable. I needed no coping sadly as I already was very unhappy with the practices of the catholic church in Germany ( half my family being filipinos, make it a very depressing business when fervently and zealously practices ) LDS churches tend to be more open towards anyone but it is also a bit work to maintain meaningful relationships beyond sundays and in that regard the LDS church will be more involved with you than the catholic church and you will have access to a marvelous network of help and assistance worldwide. you could be dropped out of a plane in the middle of nowhere and the first ward you stumble into will happily welcome you. There is perks, certainly some hymns in the LDS church may need some time to get used to , to the catholic ear, but it makes for hearty singing and service is easy on the knees since kneeling is not really required ( which makes my broken knees happy ) . 

I still want to maintain, do what makes you happy and what you feel comfortable with. Just be prepared that people will be curious on either side. 

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38 minutes ago, Hemisphere said:

do what makes you happy and what you feel comfortable with. Just be prepared that people will be curious on either side. 

What makes one happy is not the best criterion to judge by. One must decide determine what is true and follow it irrespective of the outcome. (Hint: Moroni 10:4~5, Alma 22:18.)

In the end, the Gospel of Jesus Christ will make converts (as we all are) happier than anything else, but the trials between making the choice to follow Christ and the state of bliss may not be "happy" in the least.

The only question that counts is, "Is it true?" I say it is, not only 'true", but "perfect" (as perfect as we are able to let it be in our lives).

Lehi

Edited by LeSellers
delete extraneous space
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I respectfully disagree, it is free agency and happiness does elude a lot of people because they don´t know in the first place that they can achieve it because they are not even aware of free agency. 

Personally it took me a great deal of loss to learn that doing what makes you happy is a hard working process but worth it.

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