How Do I Pray In Public?

[DesertLily]

I converted to the Church of JC of LDS last year. I don't know how to pray. I understand the meaning and purpose of of prayer. I pray in private, but I won't give a prayer in public when asked. I want to give an opening or closing prayer during a gospel doctrine class, or during a relief society meeting or when I visit teach. I am afraid because I feel that I am new/know little, I am not good with words, I think way too much about people staring at me/judging me. I know that I can do it. I know that I can be guided by the Spirit. Can someone give me advice? Can someone tell me a pattern or something to  include/not include? For example when I pray at home I start with the phrase dear Heavenly Father. I thank Him for specific blessings. Then I repent. I then ask for specific blessings for others and then ask for blessings for myself. I then end with the phrase " in jesus name......". I use simple language with no thou's or anything like that. I stop, wait, try to listen and feel for prompting, responses, and etc. Sometimes I just talk like a conversation. In an opening public prayer I assume I thank Him for something like the beautiful day, or the beautiful testimonies given by people during the sacrament meeting earlier in the day or ? Then I ask for something like the Spirit be with us during the meeting or ? Then I end the prayer? I guess a closing prayer I would thank for  the opportunity to meet or  for the wonderful something that happened during the meeting? Then end with asking for protection as  we part and go out into the world? Or?  I don't know what I exactly want here. Any suggestions? 

[Traveler]

A short simple prayer is fine.  The only advice I would offer is that a public prayers is offered for the benefit of all present - not just you as an individual.  So instead of using terms like “I”, “me” or mine try to use “we”, “our” and “us”.  Since you are a voice for others, make an effort to use, as much as possible, the most respectful language you can.

Also do not concern yourself if you do not get a lot a thanks and accolades for your prayer.  Many, because of their view of the sacredness of prayer feel awkward expressing “good job” to you for  your prayer but rather silently join with you in thoughts of prayer in thanks to G-d.

 

The Traveler

[zil]

I love prayers by new members because they're different, thus making me think differently about what's being said.  I think if your prayer is spoken from the heart, and starts by addressing Heavenly Father and ends in the name of our Savior, what's in between is all good.  The pattern of gratitude first, blessings for others second, blessings for self last seems like a good pattern for any prayer - public or private.

I personally recommend learning how to use thou / thee / thy (thine), but don't worry if it takes you years to learn it.  I recommend this because "thou" is the English equivalent of the "familiar you" or "2nd person familiar" (if you know a language other than English, there's a fair chance they have this person in current usage, e.g. in Spanish, tu is familiar and usted is formal/plural).  It would be used between family members, and close friends.  In addition to showing respect for God, it acknowledges the close, family relationship we have with him.

Regardless, I think what's in your heart is the most important part (and I agree with @Traveler - use "we", "our", and "us" - you're speaking on behalf of the group).
 

[Jane_Doe]

Just speak your heart.

Yes, you are a child in the Gospel, and don't know much-- Christ welcomes such to come to Him in fullness, having no one forbid them (including themselves).  Speak to your Father: tell Him what you're thankful for, ask for blessing if needed, and just be yourself.  

[mordorbund]

You've been given some good advice. If you are still nervous about spontaneous public prayer (if you're asked to pray in sacrament meeting you will be given advance notice), then you can plan ahead by writing out a template. In the privacy of your home, think on different scenarios you're worried about (visiting teaching Sister X, visiting teaching Sister Y, Gospel Principles class, etc). For each of these prayerfully consider what would be appropriate and write it down. If you're still concerned, you can ask your visiting teaching companion, gospel principles teacher, or the missionaries to read it over and tell you if it's appropriate.

I knew a recent convert that did just this and carried his prayer with him to church so he would be prepared if he was called on. In time he felt more confident in publicly giving more free-form public prayers.

The only caution I would add if you decide to go this route is to recognize that this is just a crutch to carry you along until you are more comfortable giving public prayers, so recognize that it's only a way station and not the destination.

[omegaseamaster75]

Keep it short and sweet, I know several guys who are long winded when they pray.  It is not necessary, the most sincere prayers are the simple ones.

[zil]

6 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

You've been given some good advice. If you are still nervous about spontaneous public prayer (if you're asked to pray in sacrament meeting you will be given advance notice), then you can plan ahead by writing out a template. In the privacy of your home, think on different scenarios you're worried about (visiting teaching Sister X, visiting teaching Sister Y, Gospel Principles class, etc). For each of these prayerfully consider what would be appropriate and write it down. If you're still concerned, you can ask your visiting teaching companion, gospel principles teacher, or the missionaries to read it over and tell you if it's appropriate.

I knew a recent convert that did just this and carried his prayer with him to church so he would be prepared if he was called on. In time he felt more confident in publicly giving more free-form public prayers.

The only caution I would add if you decide to go this route is to recognize that this is just a crutch to carry you along until you are more comfortable giving public prayers, so recognize that it's only a way station and not the destination.

I like the idea of a template / outline.  I like even better the concerted pondering of the needs of the people in each situation, whether it's one sister being visit taught, or the entire ward in Sacrament meeting.  I think this is actually good advice for anyone, regardless of time in the church.  Side note: I think it would be contrary to the proper method of praying to actually write out set prayers ahead of time and then read them (unless the Lord so directs, as he has for temple dedications).  Normally, you want to leave yourself open to the Spirit so he can guide you in the moment of prayer - but surely the Spirit has more to work with when you've prepared ahead of time.

Years and years ago, an institute teacher recommended to us that during a public prayer, we who weren't praying repeat the prayer in our minds.  (This was the first time I learned this pattern.)  I have since learned this principle elsewhere, and have practiced it ever since that first advice and find it a blessing to do so.

As a curiosity, the act of writing worries down to ease anxiety actually has neurological backing (except that from what I've seen, you have to do it immediately before hand to get the effect - assuming the worries are situational and not "always present").  The idea, as I understand it, is that when confronted with a stressful situation (job interview, test, try-out, the big game, etc.) the emotional part of your brain goes into hyperdrive, sending out an overload of electrical signals which the rest of the brain has no choice but to process.  This means that the parts of your brain which are needed to perform the task at hand are "distracted" by the excessive electrical activity and don't perform as well as they could.  By writing down all the things you're worried about (the researchers said to use the 10 minutes prior to write down everything you're worried about), the excess signals are processed, the electrical signals sent out by the emotional center drop off, and the rest of your brain is now free to do its thing.

Related data had been gathered on the benefits of journal-keeping for more "always present" worries, and we should all know the benefits of prior planning, so it does seem like this act of writing stuff down would be beneficial.

[Guest MormonGator]

19 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Keep it short and sweet, I know several guys who are long winded when they pray.  It is not necessary, the most sincere prayers are the simple ones.

AMEN. The long winded prayers are obnoxious. You can't tell me with a straight face that there isn't at least a small degree of "Look at how righteous and holy I am!" to them. Well, you can. I'll just have a hard time believing you. 

 

Brevity is the soul of wit, and it's also the best way to God. 
 

Edited August 8, 2016 by MormonGator

[mordorbund]

9 minutes ago, zil said:

Side note: I think it would be contrary to the proper method of praying to actually write out set prayers ahead of time and then read them (unless the Lord so directs, as he has for temple dedications).  Normally, you want to leave yourself open to the Spirit so he can guide you in the moment of prayer - but surely the Spirit has more to work with when you've prepared ahead of time.

:shrug: It could be argued that having someone whisper the words in your ear and you repeating them verbatim is contrary to the proper method of praying, and yet it's a very effective and popular method for teaching children (and probably just as effective for adults though not nearly as popular). The public scenarios the OP describes is still fairly intimate where participants can easily exercise a healthy dose of grace for a recent convert learning to share her supplications with others.

[Traveler]

36 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Keep it short and sweet, I know several guys who are long winded when they pray.  It is not necessary, the most sincere prayers are the simple ones.

Sorry – I could not pass up a story from my mission.  I had a companion that was the sparkling example of everything perfect.  The great flaw he had to deal with was me for a companion - so I thought it most important to provide as much opportunity for him to grow as possible.  He had to have toast toasted just so and not overly toasted.  We also had a flawed toaster that would not pop up but just ding and continue toasting when the toast was done.

Once while saying the Morning Prayer for breakfast the toaster dinged to signal my companion’s toast was done.  I just kept praying until I could smell smoke and then made sure to add an extra blessing on my companion’s toast so that he would appreciate and eat what had been provided.  I have speculated if my Father in Heaven was somewhat amused with me and my bit of sarcasm or a little displeased, as was my companion that I so used prayer.  BTW my companion did not eat the toast - but I didt.

 

The Traveler

Edited August 8, 2016 by Traveler

[zil]

13 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

:shrug: It could be argued that having someone whisper the words in your ear and you repeating them verbatim is contrary to the proper method of praying, and yet it's a very effective and popular method for teaching children (and probably just as effective for adults though not nearly as popular). The public scenarios the OP describes is still fairly intimate where participants can easily exercise a healthy dose of grace for a recent convert learning to share her supplications with others.

Actually, I think that is the proper method - the only thing that changes is who's doing the whispering.

But yes, I wasn't trying to disagree with the "learning how" part - sorry, didn't mean to imply that - I meant once you've learned, the planning / outlining still seems like a good idea, but writing it out doesn't (unless otherwise directed).  While you're learning, if you need to write it out, write it out.

[omegaseamaster75]

I don't have an issue with writing it out, we LDS get overly concerned about vain repetition. Write it out tweak it as you go along pretty soon you'll have the basics down to memory and can adlib a little.  If you freeze up you'll have something committed to memory.

[Guest]

@DesertLily,

It looks like you've already got a pattern of prayer.  But I'd alter only three things for a public prayer.

1) As Traveler said change the "I" language to "we".
2) Don't do the repentance thing specifically in a public prayer.  Although a generic statement of something like "please forgive us for our weaknesses and help make them our strengths" would be welcome.
3) The conversation portion of the prayer is for a more intimate setting.  Your personal (solitary) prayers or a prayer with you and your spouse would be appropriate settings for the conversation with the Lord.

Apart from that go with what you've got.  It appears to be ok.

A note on the "thee" and "thou" language.

The use of the archaic language is a matter of tradition, not doctrine.  It is not a required part of prayer.  It is just another cultural thing in the Church.  It is because we are a very traditional church with traditions.  That is how the people prayed in the days of Joseph Smith.  And he believed there was a kind of majesty to the language that made it holy.  That sentiment has carried down to the present day.

If you don't speak that way in a prayer, that's fine.  You're not going to get excommunicated for it.  People will probably note that you are a recent convert. But they already know that, so they should expect it.

[Guest]

The idea that a long prayer is inferior to a simple sincere prayer is another one of those unfair judgments I was talking about in my Molly Mormon thread. We have no way of knowing absolutely the intent of the person giving the prayer. 

There's a man in my ward who is generous, deeply faithful, kind to everyone, and really really long winded. Any time he talks to anyone about anything it's going to take awhile. But he has a lot of heart and is sincere in all he does, including his inevitably long-winded prayers. I just think he's talking to Heavenly Father the same way he talks to everyone else. 

My husband, who is the most sincere and good man I know does not have a gift for brevity (and neither, apparently, do I). His prayers can run long, but it's because he has a lot he wants to talk about with God (more in couple/family prayer than public prayer). I don't know what the problem is. It's not a race. In fact, the prayers are probably the most important parts of our meeting. We are communing with God together in fellowship. 

People just love to stand in judgment. 

Just say what's in your heart. So what if it's not what other people would deem as perfect? You're not talking to other people, you're talking to Him. 

[omegaseamaster75]

 

16 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

The idea that a long prayer is inferior to a simple sincere prayer is another one of those unfair judgments I was talking about in my Molly Mormon thread. We have no way of knowing absolutely the intent of the person giving the prayer. 

There's a man in my ward who is generous, deeply faithful, kind to everyone, and really really long winded. Any time he talks to anyone about anything it's going to take awhile. But he has a lot of heart and is sincere in all he does, including his inevitably long-winded prayers. I just think he's talking to Heavenly Father the same way he talks to everyone else. 

My husband, who is the most sincere and good man I know does not have a gift for brevity (and neither, apparently, do I). His prayers can run long, but it's because he has a lot he wants to talk about with God (more in couple/family prayer than public prayer). I don't know what the problem is. It's not a race. In fact, the prayers are probably the most important parts of our meeting. We are communing with God together in fellowship. 

People just love to stand in judgment. 

Just say what's in your heart. So what if it's not what other people would deem as perfect? You're not talking to other people, you're talking to Him. 

While I agree in principle I think that we are discussing public prayer here.  I have been to many a sacrament meeting or other meeting that has ran over only to be pushed even further back by a long winded closing prayer.  While I understand the concept of conversing with our heavenly father when you are holding up 200+ people it's not fair to them or their teachers who thoughtfully prepared lessons or to speakers who have to cut talks short because the opening prayer lasted 5-7 minutes. Frankly it's selfish and self serving.

When praying publicly it's not about the individual it's about the group.  We're not dedicating a temple here it's opening or closing prayer for a small to large group with time constraints. 1-2 minutes is plenty.

[tesuji]

2 hours ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

I don't have an issue with writing it out, we LDS get overly concerned about vain repetition. Write it out tweak it as you go along pretty soon you'll have the basics down to memory and can adlib a little.  If you freeze up you'll have something committed to memory.

Exactly. I was going to suggest writing it out too. Show it to the bishop or someone if you want before hand.

Also, listen carefully to other prayers, to learn how people usually do it.

As others have said, if you speak from the heart, with sincerity, the Lord will be happy, I believe. He's the only one you need to please.

The standard format is:

1. Open with "Our heavently Father..."

2. "We thank the for..." [whatever is appropriate for the occastion]

3. "We ask thee for..." [whatever appropriate]

4. "In the name of thy Son Jesus Christ, amen"

The exact wording doesn't matter; these are just examples.

I would use the thee and thy as in my example above, to begin these sentences. After that, don't stress, if it's too much to worry about proper use of "thee" and "thy" elsewhere in the prayer. Just say "you" and "your" if you want.
 

If you want to know the grammar of the older English, here are the basics below. Don't worry too much about using this old grammar - many other members don't really know how to use them either. This is just for your info, if you are interested.

thou = you, when subject of a sentence ("Thou are great", etc)

thee = you, when object of a sentence ("We offer to thee...", "We thank thee...", etc)

thy, thine = your

ye = you all (more than one person)

With other verbs, usually add -st or -est. Such as "thou wouldest"

The thee, thou, thy is actually what is known as "familiar" address. Like some modern languages such as French and Spanish, older English at one time had two forms of addressing someone, two ways of saying "you." The "thou" form was what you used when talking to your friends or spouse. The "you" that we all use now for everything was originally the more formal way, when talking to your boss or someone you didn't know.

So if you decide to use it, the "Mormon prayer language" method of using "thou" and "thee" actually mean we are talking to God as a close friend or family member, which I think is kind of cool.

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/3329/difference-between-thee-and-thou

But seriously don't worry about this old grammar for the prayer language. What matters is that you are sincere.

 

Edited August 8, 2016 by tesuji

[anatess2]

I use the Lord's Prayer for my template and add the counsel of the modern prophets.  I grew up Catholic so I'm not used to extemporaneous public prayers.  There's a Catholic Prayer Book for any and all occasions.  One thing the prayer books has benefited me as I converted to LDS is the "training wheels" it gave me as I sought my own words from the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  I relied on the words from the prayer books to start my prayers in my first few years as an LDS which gets me past the initial nervousness until I started to find my own voice.

This is the Lord's Prayer's pattern:

1.)  Worshipful Address with an expressed desire for God's will.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

2.) Reason for prayer.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

3.) Worshipful conclusion.

For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever.  Amen.

 

Adding the counsel of the modern prophets this is the template I use in all my public prayers:

1.)  Worshipful Address with an expressed desire for God's will.

E.g.  Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.  They kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

2.)  Reason for prayer - with 2 parts... Thanksgiving and Supplication.

E.g. We thank thee for ______ .  We ask thee to ________ .

3.)  Worshipful conclusion in the name of Christ.

E.g.  In this we humbly pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

 

Yes, it is as simple as that.  I'm going on 15 years a convert and I still use this same pattern in all my prayers.

Edited August 8, 2016 by anatess2

[cdowis]

If you are in a public meeting with a mixture of faiths, I think it is inappropriate to invoke "Jesus Christ" in the prayer.  I seem to remember a General Authority who gave a public pray and I noticed that he omitted that phrase, bu my memory is cloudy.

A simple "Amen" would be sufficient.

Do you have any videos of public prayers of the General Authorities?

Edited August 11, 2016 by cdowis

[anatess2]

On 8/11/2016 at 11:19 PM, cdowis said:

If you are in a public meeting with a mixture of faiths, I think it is inappropriate to invoke "Jesus Christ" in the prayer.  I seem to remember a General Authority who gave a public pray and I noticed that he omitted that phrase, bu my memory is cloudy.

A simple "Amen" would be sufficient.

Do you have any videos of public prayers of the General Authorities?

It's not only appropriate, it is a commandment.  Our covenant is to be a representative of Jesus Christ in all places.

 

 

 

[Guest MormonGator]

1 hour ago, anatess2 said:

It's not only appropriate, it is a commandment.  Our covenant is to be a representative of Jesus Christ in all places.

 

Time and place for everything. You might think that leading your workplace in daily prayer is a positive, but the atheist who runs human resources may disagree with you. 

it'll be difficult to tell the wife and kids (or husband and kids. Whatever) that they better start praying about you getting a new job. 

[NightSG]

On 8/8/2016 at 11:08 AM, omegaseamaster75 said:

Keep it short and sweet, I know several guys who are long winded when they pray.  It is not necessary, the most sincere prayers are the simple ones.

I'm reminded of the Southern Baptist who dozed off while leading the prayer at a county Republican party meeting.  Bad enough when everybody else is snoring.  

The Lord knows who needs what, so a simple "all those who couldn't make it today" will suffice without listing them.

[LeSellers]

31 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Time and place for everything. You might think that leading your workplace in daily prayer is a positive, but the atheist who runs human resources may disagree with you. 

It's been my experience that atheists are the thinnest skinned, most easily offended folk on the planet.

In addition to which, they are the most "evangelical". They want everyone to accept their (un)belief.

Lehi

[cdowis]

6 hours ago, anatess2 said:

It's not only appropriate, it is a commandment.  Our covenant is to be a representative of Jesus Christ in all places.

Hmmm.... I find it interesting that you put this into the category of an absolute commandment.  I can only hope to be just half as righteous as you appear to be.

I prefer to use what I call "common sense" in how I am a representative of Christ.  My uttering a certain phrase is not really being a representative when others feel I am forcing my religion on them.  If someone ended a prayer with "Allah, be praised, and please give us your humble servants the power to defeat the invading Crusaders in our midst.  Amen",  I would feel a uncomfortable.
I would talk to someone about my religion anywhere, any time.  That is my idea of being a representative of Christ.

But maybe that's just me.

 

Edited August 13, 2016 by cdowis

[Guest MormonGator]

4 minutes ago, cdowis said:

Hmmm.... I prefer to use common sense in how I am a representative of Christ.  My uttering a certain phrase is not really being a representative when others feel I am forcing my religion on them.  Giving the opening prayer in the DNC, with the people talking and laughing, I certainly would not say that.

But that's just me.

 

It's not just you my friend. I think God wants us to use common sense all the time .

[anatess2]

On 8/12/2016 at 2:45 PM, MormonGator said:

Time and place for everything. You might think that leading your workplace in daily prayer is a positive, but the atheist who runs human resources may disagree with you. 

it'll be difficult to tell the wife and kids (or husband and kids. Whatever) that they better start praying about you getting a new job. 

If my workplace asks me to lead the prayer, then obviously they have no problem with Mormon prayers.  If they ask me to lead the prayer and then tell me I can't pray in the name of Christ, then I'll have to decline.  If nobody asked me to lead the prayer and I just go out on the middle of the workplace and start leading them in prayer, I expect them to kick me out... or even fire me.

 

On 8/12/2016 at 8:21 PM, cdowis said:

Hmmm.... I find it interesting that you put this into the category of an absolute commandment.  I can only hope to be just half as righteous as you appear to be.

I prefer to use what I call "common sense" in how I am a representative of Christ.  My uttering a certain phrase is not really being a representative when others feel I am forcing my religion on them.  If someone ended a prayer with "Allah, be praised, and please give us your humble servants the power to defeat the invading Crusaders in our midst.  Amen",  I would feel a uncomfortable.
I would talk to someone about my religion anywhere, any time.  That is my idea of being a representative of Christ.

But maybe that's just me.

 

I am not uncomfortable with a Muslim leading a prayer in a public setting and praying to his God.  I have no problem with Jews doing the same.  I have no problem with any other faith leading a prayer in their own faith.  Now, I would, of course, question the stupidity of a group of people asking a Muslim to lead the prayer when said Muslim wants to defeat Christians in their midst.

 

That said... I live this everyday.  I am the only Mormon in a whole slew of devout Catholics.  My sons and I get asked to offer prayer for meals and such at family get togethers and even big parties.  We don't pray off the Catholic prayer book.  We pray as exemplified by the modern prophets.  Everybody knows we're Mormon.  The host asks us to lead them in prayer.  They don't expect us to ditch our being Mormons just because we are standing in a sea of Catholics.

Edited August 15, 2016 by anatess2