Do missionaries usually write back to those who write to them first?


mt_mck7
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Short story- there's a guy I really like who's currently on his mission (a mission is where a young man at the age of 18 who has already graduated high school devotes 2 years of his life to preaching and teaching the doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. All young men in the LDS church are expected to go on a mission if they are worthy and choose to do so). He's only been on his mission for barely a month now.

I wrote him a letter a few days after he got to the Mexico City MTC (Missionary Training Center except in Mexico City, it's called CCM). I just wrote some encouraging words, and left him with an inspiring scripture that applied to serving a mission. I paid for the stamp that was needed to send the letter, and I sent it, but I'm not sure if he's gotten it yet because he hasn't written me back. I've talked to my parents about this, and they said to not worry about him sending me a letter back because each day for him at the MTC until he goes into the field is completely filled from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed. My parents also said to continue sending him encouraging words, and scriptures I find that will keep his morale up.

His parents also had a piece of paper at his mission farewell before he went on his mission that people could put their e-mails on and get weekly updates about his mission, and I put my e-mail on that list, so I know I shouldn't worry about a direct response from him, but I was wondering if missionaries usually write back to those who write them first whether it be by paper or by e-mail. Do missionaries usually reply to paper letters after they leave the MTC and are in the field, and they've gotten used to the routine? Would it be better if I e-mailed him instead of writing letters? Thanks!

Edited by mt_mck7
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They have a limited amount of time one day a week. They write their parents first, and if there's time after that they have to decide who to give it to. 

It would be better if you wrote him and didn't expect anything back. Make your purpose encouraging and supporting him, not growing closer to him or getting him to think of you.

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Your parents and Eowyn are right.  Even after they leave the MTC, they are crazy busy.  They are only supposed to write letters on P-day (Preparation day), which is generally on Mondays.  But on P-day they also have to do the laundry, clean the apartment, and often they have activities.  For example, my son in Ghana plays soccer...a LOT.  Not his choice, but his companions, LOL!  

Also, keep in mind that mail to and from many countries is SLOW. 

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We had a missionary from our ward who recently came home from his mission.  We've been writing to him for 2 years without a single reply back.  He did send letters to his mom every week where he would sometimes express gratitude for everybody who wrote him letters and how it has kept his spirits up and how it kept him feeling that he still has a strong connection with his ward family.

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Missionaries are every bit as varied as any population of teenagers or college students. Some will reply to every letter and package. Some will limit their correspondence to only the required weekly email to family. Some will not even meet that.

I replied to every letter I got except one - and I (rightly) was called out for it.

If you don't get a letter back, it might be some consolation that Melville wrote Moby Dick and never heard back.

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Missionaries may or may not write back.  They're busy, and when they get downtime, writing letters to people might not be high on their list of priorities.  When I was in the MTC, if I got downtime, falling asleep was generally one of the higher priorities.   

The other thing to consider is that you sent him a letter, to Mexico.  I don't know much about the mail service in Mexico, but when I was in the Dominican Republic, it could take a couple of months for a letter sent to get to me.  Now this was likely before you were born so we didn't have email. We used faxes that we had to pay to send and receive, but it at least allowed for faster communication.  Packages could take far longer. I got one package more than six months after it was sent and though my parents taped mine up well enough that they weren't broken into, but most guys had things "confiscated" from their packages by customs.  Again this was the Dominican Republic, and it was more than 20 years ago, but I wouldn't be surprised to find Mexico to be much the same.

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20 minutes ago, LeSellers said:

In defense of the white whale, he didn't have access to a pen or waterproof paper.

Lehi

Yes, but "technology" has finally caught up with his needs (diver can be seen writing in the ocean at 1:18).  Stone paper notebook can be purchased from Amazon (for example).  It's fascinating.  Once you get a piece detached from the rest of the page, you can pull on it, as if you were trying to stretch it, repeat this over and over in various directions, and it starts to feel (the surface / texture of it) like vinyl (sort of like a shower curtain, but not exactly).

Also, with a fountain pen using ink that doesn't have any waterproof qualities, you can basically use this paper like a wet-erase board - take your notes on the paper, wipe them off with a damp paper towel, dry the page, then use it again. :D

Now, if only Moby's fins and eyes were formed and positioned in such a way that he could use these things...  (I think we need Pixar or someone to help us out here.)

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6 minutes ago, zil said:
29 minutes ago, LeSellers said:

In defense of the white whale, he didn't have access to a pen or waterproof paper.

Yes, but "technology" has finally caught up with his needs

Unfortunately, sperm whales live only about 70 years. Moby, sad to say, has died.

Lehi

Edited by LeSellers
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You dont say if he knows you, if you have some relationship with him etc..you said you speak with his parents so I assume you know each other.

That being said, I dont know him but if some young lady were writing me and I was interested in her my priority would be to write her back before anyone else to include my parents. That is just me though. Most kids these days find it an ordeal to even put pen to paper much less address an envelope and go through the hardship of just enduring the letter writing effort. So either he is just isnt into you, he is lazy and inconsiderate or he just has not received your letter(s) yet. Your guess is as good as mine.

Many will make excuses that since he is in the MTC/on mission that he has little or no time. Until I see an MTC schedule that remotely resembles Army or USMC boot camp then he has time enough to write a novel to you.I didnt go on a mission, but I have been in many conversations over the years where RMs discussed how rough the MTC was in terms of lack of sleep. Ill just say this- it aint that tough if what they say is true.

If I (and everyone else) could write multiple letters home and to my GF each week while I was in boot camp then someone at the MTC can write too- they are just choosing not to.

If my daughter were writing a missionary and he never wrote back Id tell her to dump him. If you are not worth writing to in his mind then he is not worth being around.

Edited by paracaidista508
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  • 1 year later...
On 8/8/2016 at 10:11 PM, mt_mck7 said:

Would it be better if I e-mailed him instead of writing letters? Thanks!

Short answer: yes.

But there may be a rule in his mission where you are only allowed to write home, not allowed to write to girls, or can only write to girls every few weeks. So it's best to not expect anything back and just be a support.

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On 8/10/2016 at 9:50 AM, paracaidista508 said:



If my daughter were writing a missionary and he never wrote back Id tell her to dump him. If you are not worth writing to in his mind then he is not worth being around.

OR he could just be an honorable missionary whose priority is not to write to all the girls sending him letters. He shouldn't be thinking about his romantic interest in her. When you go on a mission there are just some different rules...

I would be more worried about him being marriage material if he IS always writing back. 

Edited by dddd
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I never really bothered with snail mail in my mission, only packages from family and emails.  I served foreign, so receiving letters via snail mail was not ideal, plus there was a tendency in the country I served in for thievery, where people would steal stuff out of your packages and such.

Anyways, I usually used email when I was responding back to friends and family.  Life was extremely busy though, so what I would usually do is send back one large email with thoughts and updates for everyone who mailed me, and then occasionally I would reply to personal messages, usually in a quick manner because I didn't have much time.  

I don't know how it is for other mission, but we had about 45 minutes each Monday that we use for email correspondence, and part of that time was used writing messages to the mission president.  There wasn't always time to write back to personal emails, which is why i did just use a large return mail for pretty much the entire mission.  Now, as to snail mail, there may be a good chance of getting a return letter depending on the postage and on a persons schedule, but as I said I personally discouraged snail mail while I was on my mission for the reasons listed above.

There is a lot that you could read into it, it kind of depends on the missionary and on whether they have the time to respond.

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