Questions about Dating

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10 hours ago, EllieBelle2015 said:

So, I'm 19 and I've never really dated before but I really like this guy and I am completely clueless on how to initiate anything. I've been on one date in my life (as a favor to a friend), and it was a nightmare. I was semi-comfortable in that situation because I didn't actually have to do any flirting.(Because I wasn't interested and he freaked out when I tried to hug him, even though we've known each other for years.) ANYWAY, I met this other guy in September of 2014 and we hit it off. He was serving in my ward and we became good friends during the 6 months he was in my hometown. We never knowingly flirted, though the entire ward seems to think we're destined to be together. (They've got too much faith in me.) Once I left for college in Idaho, we emailed back and forth. It was never anything flirty, just friendly. But he is going home to Utah in roughly two weeks and I go back to Idaho three days later. I haven't seen him since July 2015, but we're meeting up for lunch in SLC in three weeks with some other guys who served in my ward at the same time. (My mom set it up.) I've never felt the way I feel about him about anyone. There are just a few problems/questions that I have...

1. He's WAY out of my league. (Sure, he put on a few pounds since I last saw him, but he's always handsome to me. I'M the problem. I'm not heinous or anything, I'm just a bit plain and not built like the Utah Barbie dolls that he's used to. This guy is seriously gorgeous, and I just could never compare to what he deserves.)

2. Is it really okay for a girl to ask a guy out? (People are always saying that it's totally okay, but I'm always worried that it would freak a guy out. Does it make a guy feel emasculated at all? I've read that guys don't necessarily like it when a girl makes them feel less manly.)

3. I don't know how to flirt. (All the flirting how-to websites I've seen tell you to say things to guys that I don't think I could or would ever say to him or any other guy. How do I flirt subtly? I don't want to come off as a floozy, but I also don't want to seem uninterested.)

Any help or advice you guys could offer me is MUCH appreciated. I'm kinda freaking out.

1.  Don't get hung up on how you look.  Any girl with good hygiene, good grooming, a warm smile and a Christlike spirit is attractive.  No matter how a person looks now, in 50 years it won't matter so why should it matter now?

2.  Social norms today do make it acceptable for a girl to ask a guy out, but there are some guys who may be uncomfortable with that.  I think most would find it a huge compliment.  You could try asking: 'Would you be OK with me asking you out on a date?'  or 'So, when are you going to ask me out?'

3.  Deliberate flirting is about implying or hinting at romantic feelings for somebody, or the desire for some kind of romantic event with them without outright stating it.  The best way to flirt however is to just be yourself and not give a rip about what other people think.  Drop the fear and let your true self out for some fun.

Edited by Latter-Day Marriage
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