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Shouldn't men propose without a ring?

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Guest MormonGator
9 minutes ago, zil said:

Once I took over managing the books, I was unspeakably glad you hadn't! ;)

Hey 2008 wasn't easy on any of us, lady. 

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My now husband knew I didn't want him to buy the ring. My brother is a jeweler and I wanted him to design and make it. So, honey proposed with a ring pop. We still have it--placed in an air tight container in the freezer. 

My husband didn't care what kind of ring I got--he wasn't wearing it. He doesn't like diamonds but I do. So, we compromised. The larger stone in the middle is a sapphire and the diamonds are smaller and on the sides. I absolutely love my ring. It's custom designed with my input (I know what style I wanted).

Seriously, I think the decision to propose with a ring or without is based on the individuals involved.

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Guest MormonGator
8 minutes ago, beefche said:

So, honey proposed with a ring pop. We still have it--placed in an air tight container in the freezer. 

 

That's awesome!!!! 

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Guest
1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

Hey 2008 wasn't easy on any of us, lady. 

Preach. I just want to know when 2008 will end. ;)

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Guest MormonGator
6 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Preach. I just want to know when 2008 will end. ;)

Zen like layers of meaning on that one, eh Mrs. @Eowyn?

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4 hours ago, zil said:

Or she knows he values tradition / arbitrarily-valued metal & mineral more than financial responsibility - the dumb things are like cars - they're practically worthless the minute you drive it off the lot...

My wife's ring is worth more now than when I bought it.  It's a financial asset although not a huge one.

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4 hours ago, beefche said:

My now husband knew I didn't want him to buy the ring. My brother is a jeweler and I wanted him to design and make it. So, honey proposed with a ring pop. We still have it--placed in an air tight container in the freezer.

That's sweet.  One of the things that came up the night my wife and I met (we were teens in the 80's) was we both like playing role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons.  I had a 30 sided dice and she had never seen one, so the next day I gave it to her.  It was clear and I hoped it's resemblance to a large diamond was not lost on her (it wasn't but she didn't say anything about that at the time).  She still has it in her purse.

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On 8/27/2016 at 5:59 PM, zil said:

And I am baffled at how many women find such importance in (the tradition surrounding) a hunk of metal & mineral.

From all this, I conclude it's better to find the girl first and figure out the proposal details second.

I often wonder the same thing.  I, myself, don't wear a ring because I just don't like them.  They hurt my fingers and so on.  If I found one that I thought looked nice and fit nicely enough that it didn't hurt, I'd be ok with it.

Mrs. Carb is unpredictable, apparently.  I can't think of a more level headed and practical woman.  But she insisted that

1) I buy her a ring.
2) It had to be of a design and beauty that she'd appreciate.
3) It had to be diamond -- no substitutes.

I had specifically offered the idea that while we were poor, I could get her a CZ ring.  When I graduated and got a real job, one of the first things I could do is replace the stone with a REALLY nice rock.  She rejected the idea.  To this day I don't understand why.  So, I ended up getting her less than 1/2 carat because I simply couldn't afford any more.  On our 10th anniversary, I bought her an anniversary band that was much more expensive.  On our 15th, I got her an alexandrite on platinum ring.  This year (our 20th) I got her a platinum pendant patterned after the "time and eternity" ring.  Unfortunately, the jeweler had no idea what a time and eternity pattern was.  Nor did he know what who M.C. Escher was.  

So, it ended up looking like a rose. That was somewhat serendipitous.  It ended up looking quite nice.

BTW, if you like the idea of platinum, this is the decade to do it.  For some reason platinum has been hovering below gold prices for the past 5 or 6 years or so.  Unfortunately, most jewelry is 14K gold which reduces the price of gold rings over platinum.  But the difference is not that great.

 

Edited by Guest

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Guest MormonGator
5 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I, myself, don't wear a ring because I just don't like them. 

Same with me. I don't wear one because I don't like them either. 

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5 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

I had specifically offered the idea that while we were poor, I could get her a CZ ring.  When I graduated and got a real job, one of the first things I could do is replace the stone with a REALLY nice rock.  She rejected the idea.  To this day I don't understand why.

I understand one possible reason why she might have rejected the idea - the ring (whatever it is) is a symbol.  To replace a portion of the symbol is to destroy the symbol.  IMO, if there's any value in a wedding / engagement ring, it is the symbolism.  The values of the metal & mineral part are worldly, arbitrary, and artificially controlled, thus making the value itself meaningless (unless you're shallow - my opinion, don't anyone get all huffy, if you think the $$ have meaning, more power to ya).  The symbol, on the other hand, is not so meaningless, as it exists in your heart.

That may be a poor explanation, and I can see how someone might say, "But I'm improving the symbol."  I just wouldn't see it that way - it's no longer the symbol, it's a new one at best.

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Guest MormonGator
8 minutes ago, zil said:

That may be a poor explanation,

It's actually a great description, to be honest. 

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Guest MormonGator
9 minutes ago, zil said:

That may be a poor explanation,

It's actually a great explanation, to be honest. 

Edited by MormonGator

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Yep.  Depends on the girl.

This girl wants the guy to propose marriage.  This girl doesn't need a ring - any ring - as part of it.  So, since my husband was my good friend for 2 years before we went on our first date (which was a week before he proposed), he knew I didn't care much for rings.  But, because he's a traditional guy and he likes jewelry and he wants to, he bought an el cheapo Kay Jewelers ring worth $150 to propose to me.  Then at the wedding (a couple weeks after he proposed), he put that same ring on my finger and I put his CTR ring on his finger because the judge said, "are you exchanging rings?".

So then we went to the Philippines a year after we were married and my aunt was selling jewelry.  So, my husband and I got matching rings with our names and anniversary date etched inside it.  5 little diamonds in a band to total 1 karat... 2 rings for $600 total.  We tell everybody that's our wedding ring.  But then we got too fat to wear the rings, so the rings are sitting in a box in our closet.

P.S.  If I would have been the type of girl who puts a lot of stock on the ring to propose with (he hated that part of Sixth Sense movie when the woman made it seem like her boyfriend was a loser because he is worried about the price of the ring)... he wouldn't have proposed to me.  Even if he would've liked to buy me a really nice ring.

Edited by anatess2

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On 8/27/2016 at 7:44 PM, Zarahemla said:

If you want to surprise the girl how do you find out her ring size?

As a guy, I didn't know this until Just_A_Girl and I went ring-shopping; but apparently it's possible to re-size a ring.  So if push comes to shove, you can always err on the side of getting a ring that's slightly bigger than it needs to be.

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On 8/27/2016 at 7:44 PM, Zarahemla said:

If you want to surprise the girl how do you find out her ring size?

As a guy, I didn't know this until Just_A_Girl and I went ring-shopping; but apparently it's possible to re-size a ring.  So if push comes to shove, you can always err on the side of getting a ring that's slightly bigger than it needs to be.

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46 minutes ago, Just_A_Guy said:

As a guy, I didn't know this until Just_A_Girl and I went ring-shopping; but apparently it's possible to re-size a ring.  So if push comes to shove, you can always err on the side of getting a ring that's slightly bigger than it needs to be.

They can increase the size of a ring too, but it costs more.

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On 8/27/2016 at 8:44 PM, Zarahemla said:

If you want to surprise the girl how do you find out her ring size?

Go to http://www.claddaghrings.com/sterling-silver-ladies-standard-claddagh.html and get one in each size for a lot less than most single engagement rings.  Take them all with you and while you're asking, start testing them for fit until you find the right one.

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41 minutes ago, NightSG said:
On 8/27/2016 at 9:44 PM, Zarahemla said:

If you want to surprise the girl how do you find out her ring size?

Go to http://www.claddaghrings.com/sterling-silver-ladies-standard-claddagh.html and get one in each size for a lot less than most single engagement rings.  Take them all with you and while you're asking, start testing them for fit until you find the right one.

It's even simpler than that. Many eligible maidens still carry childhood fantasies of Cinderella and her prince. Propose with the ring you have. If it doesn't fit, then you'll both know it was never meant to be. (* alternative ending: cut off her finger )

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Husband texted me photos of diamonds on clearance. He put one on the basic band intending to get the real band later.  He proposed. Two jewelry store sessions later and I couldn't pick out a band I liked. I still wear the diamond on a plain band.

 

Now my sister is dating a guy with a family-run jewelry store...

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Guest MormonGator
2 hours ago, pam said:

2008 was a great year.  I was given a house. :)

Glad it was a good year for you @pam! One of the many life lessons I learned from the great recession (and oh my, did we all learn them) was that others can have good years while people (sometimes a lot of them) are having rough ones-and that's okay. It's just how life works. 

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