feeling inadequate


summer
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Well all go through our insecurities.  Different insecurities for different people.  It's just something we all have to overcome.  So, you might feel inadequate that you don't know as much as you feel everybody else does.  The person next to you might be feeling inadequate because he can't read scriptural text (with the sayeth and knowest and thee thou art, etc.) as good as he feels everybody else does.  And then the person next to that may be feeling inadequate because she think she's not as good a parent as everybody else is, etc. etc.

In any case, feeling inadequate is more of a selfish feeling - it puts too much focus on yourself.  The best way to overcome it is to open yourself up to service.  For example - you might feel like some person knows a whole lot more about the gospel than you do so you feel inadequate.  Find a way to serve that person.  Ask him if there's anything you can do to help.  This service will help you see the needs of others and elevate your worth in your eyes to realize it doesn't matter that you don't know as much.  You are still worth something.  You can always study more.

God loves you and He believes you are worth Christ's atoning sacrifice.  Even if you feel like you don't know the gospel much.

Hope this helps.

Edited by anatess2
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Guest MormonGator

Summer, you sound like such a sweet and wonderful person. First off I think everyone here is giving you a cyber hug. 

The fact that you feel that way shows that you are much smarter and more perceptive than you think you are. The person who thinks they know everything knows nothing and the person who thinks they have it all together is usually five seconds away from it all falling apart. 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You know much more than you think you do and you are doing just fine.

Edited by MormonGator
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4 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Summer, you sound like such a sweet and wonderful person. First off I think everyone here is going you a cyber hug. 

The fact that you feel that way shows that you are much smarter and more perceptive than you think you are. The person who thinks they know everything knows nothing and the person who thinks they have it all together is usually five seconds away from it all falling apart. 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You know much more than you think you do and you are doing just fine.

This is awesome MG.  You are a true Gator.

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First problem is quite possibly you think other people dwell on how much you know/dont know. Are there people like that? Sure, but very few. Most people dont care and probably never think about it.

Secondly, if you are trying to be that guy/gal in gospel doctrine who knows everything and answers every question, well no one cares about them either because it is usually just showmanship.

Ask for a calling as a gospel doctrine teacher. That calling is best for those who are lacking in knowledge as it becomes a forced study program and you learn what the church would like you/us to learn.

Anyway- dont dwell on it lest you become like so many in Utah who are choking down anti-depressants by the handful so they can cope with not being able to keep up with Brother / Sister ( insert any well-known mormon surname). Many of those people who are outwardly just so perfect and do everything right either dont have much of a life or it is a hobby. You dont have to be all/know all to be righteous. Their lives are often just as screwed up as everyone else's, they just conceal it well. 

Relax

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Hi there Summer! I cannot tell you how difficult I found trying to follow the Book of Mormon. Flashbacks! People arriving from the Old World at different times. Mulekites? Never used in the actual content only in a heading.

Sometimes confusing pronouns, just who is "He" in this sentence?, eg. 'George and Fred were sad. He then said,"let's do this"'

 So who is 'he" in the second sentence?

 

I bought the "24 hour book of Mormon", Nice summary of plot points.

I bought a time line of the book of Mormon from Amazon. Lots of people have the same names. (You may need a magnifying glass).

These two things really helped me. 

 

Also I read the same verses over morning and night because I am not really awake at either time!

You may have some people with a lot of scriptural knowledge in your ward. Nice for them.

My hometeacher is about 60. He has a disability so has never worked. This means that he has a lot of time to read the scriptures. Nice for him.

But you know what? I have caught up to him with my 24 Hour Book of Mormon and my timeline, I often have a better understanding than he does.

I also bought "The book of Mormon made easier" by Ridges. I think there are 3 volumes. My guess is that it was written for high school students. It has both the text and an explanation of the text as you go along. This means that there is no need to flip back and forth between scriptures and commentary. The explanations are easy to understand.

I bought quite a couple of "Book of Mormon" manuals and the Ridges books on "Abe Books" a used booksite for a couple of bucks. 

Every year, I read the Book of Mormon. I go through the book with one of the manuals or with Ridges or with "step by step through the Book of Mormon" on-line. I read fairly slowly.

Eventually, I was able to make sense of the Book of Mormon. It took awhile but I paced myself.

You know what, this sounds mean but I bet it is true for you as well, those "Gospel Scholars' in my ward, including my home teacher, turned out to be full of hot air. Now that I have caught up to them, I realize that they do not know as much as they think. A lot of what they told me was incorrect. Also now that I have a background and can talk with some insight on various topics, they are not so keen to talk to me! There is a lot of posturing going on!

I bet that you find once you have spent about 3 years reading through the Book of Mormon with a manual or Ridges or the 24 hour book of Mormon, that you know more than most people.

Frankly a lot of the stuff that the experts are going on about is not very important. Who cares where the book of mormon took place. If this was important to know, we would hav e been told. Who cares if Noah is the angel Gabriel. This detail does not affect the plot. As my hometeacher once confessed to me, he spends his time searching deep doctrine to avoid working on his character flaws. Yep there is a lot of avoidance going on. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. If you are serving in your calling and doing your visiting teaching you are doing better that 60% of the sisters in my ward so pat yourself on the back!

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11 hours ago, summer said:

How do you get over feeling inadequate at church? I feel like everyone knows so much more than I do and it is intimidating to even go at times. Does anyone else feel like this?

I feel that way about once a week between 10 AM and 1 PM.

But with that said, nowhere is it written that a requirement for salvation - or even good membership - is to be a scriptorian.  My own familiarity with the Book of Mormon is lacking mostly because it's so isolated from the rest of the world.  What I mean is, I'm a big history buff and classical history is one of my favorite periods.  I love that yuo can so often connect historical events with the events in the Bible and get so much more context and understanding. 

I find the Book of Mormon more difficult because for that part of the world it's really the only written documentation of the history of that period, so there isn't much of an external context to put the stories into.  That said, there are plenty of books on archaeology from both LDS and non-LDS perspectives that help somewhat, and  one of my goals is to improve my understanding of the BoM from a historical view by using those additional resources.

The point is this:  Nobody knows it all.  No need to feel like you're being judged because as has already been said here, nobody is keeping score.  If someone is, then they have bigger problems than we do, right?  ;)

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On September 9, 2016 at 9:47 AM, anatess2 said:

In any case, feeling inadequate is more of a selfish feeling - it puts too much focus on yourself. 

God loves you and He believes you are worth Christ's atoning sacrifice.  Even if you feel like you don't know the gospel much.

Hope this helps.

Thank you! I have never thought of it like this, but you are so right. Your thoughts were all so helpful and I appreciate them so much! This really hit hard though because I strive to hard to be unselfish and it is interesting to think of it this way, thank you!

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21 hours ago, unixknight said:

I feel that way about once a week between 10 AM and 1 PM.

But with that said, nowhere is it written that a requirement for salvation - or even good membership - is to be a scriptorian.  My own familiarity with the Book of Mormon is lacking mostly because it's so isolated from the rest of the world.  What I mean is, I'm a big history buff and classical history is one of my favorite periods.  I love that yuo can so often connect historical events with the events in the Bible and get so much more context and understanding. 

I find the Book of Mormon more difficult because for that part of the world it's really the only written documentation of the history of that period, so there isn't much of an external context to put the stories into.  That said, there are plenty of books on archaeology from both LDS and non-LDS perspectives that help somewhat, and  one of my goals is to improve my understanding of the BoM from a historical view by using those additional resources.

The point is this:  Nobody knows it all.  No need to feel like you're being judged because as has already been said here, nobody is keeping score.  If someone is, then they have bigger problems than we do, right?  ;)

Thank you! You are so right and I love your perspective! You are right...if anyone is keeping score they do have bigger problems than us. I need so much to stop worrying about what others think. It is none of my business right :) Thank you!

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On September 9, 2016 at 9:51 AM, MormonGator said:

Summer, you sound like such a sweet and wonderful person. First off I think everyone here is giving you a cyber hug. 

The fact that you feel that way shows that you are much smarter and more perceptive than you think you are. The person who thinks they know everything knows nothing and the person who thinks they have it all together is usually five seconds away from it all falling apart. 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You know much more than you think you do and you are doing just fine.

Thank you SO much! You are so kind! This has made me feel so much better, thank you! 

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On September 9, 2016 at 1:56 PM, Sunday21 said:

Hi there Summer! I cannot tell you how difficult I found trying to follow the Book of Mormon. Flashbacks! People arriving from the Old World at different times. Mulekites? Never used in the actual content only in a heading.

Sometimes confusing pronouns, just who is "He" in this sentence?, eg. 'George and Fred were sad. He then said,"let's do this"'

 So who is 'he" in the second sentence?

 

I bought the "24 hour book of Mormon", Nice summary of plot points.

I bought a time line of the book of Mormon from Amazon. Lots of people have the same names. (You may need a magnifying glass).

These two things really helped me. 

 

Also I read the same verses over morning and night because I am not really awake at either time!

You may have some people with a lot of scriptural knowledge in your ward. Nice for them.

My hometeacher is about 60. He has a disability so has never worked. This means that he has a lot of time to read the scriptures. Nice for him.

But you know what? I have caught up to him with my 24 Hour Book of Mormon and my timeline, I often have a better understanding than he does.

I also bought "The book of Mormon made easier" by Ridges. I think there are 3 volumes. My guess is that it was written for high school students. It has both the text and an explanation of the text as you go along. This means that there is no need to flip back and forth between scriptures and commentary. The explanations are easy to understand.

I bought quite a couple of "Book of Mormon" manuals and the Ridges books on "Abe Books" a used booksite for a couple of bucks. 

Every year, I read the Book of Mormon. I go through the book with one of the manuals or with Ridges or with "step by step through the Book of Mormon" on-line. I read fairly slowly.

Eventually, I was able to make sense of the Book of Mormon. It took awhile but I paced myself.

You know what, this sounds mean but I bet it is true for you as well, those "Gospel Scholars' in my ward, including my home teacher, turned out to be full of hot air. Now that I have caught up to them, I realize that they do not know as much as they think. A lot of what they told me was incorrect. Also now that I have a background and can talk with some insight on various topics, they are not so keen to talk to me! There is a lot of posturing going on!

I bet that you find once you have spent about 3 years reading through the Book of Mormon with a manual or Ridges or the 24 hour book of Mormon, that you know more than most people.

Frankly a lot of the stuff that the experts are going on about is not very important. Who cares where the book of mormon took place. If this was important to know, we would hav e been told. Who cares if Noah is the angel Gabriel. This detail does not affect the plot. As my hometeacher once confessed to me, he spends his time searching deep doctrine to avoid working on his character flaws. Yep there is a lot of avoidance going on. Denial is not just a river in Egypt. If you are serving in your calling and doing your visiting teaching you are doing better that 60% of the sisters in my ward so pat yourself on the back!

Thank you so much for your advice and help, I really appreciate it! I have read the Book of Mormon 8 times and feel like so much of it still goes over my head. I love the Book of Mormon reader for kids, it has been great to read to my youngest and to learn along with her. Thank you again!

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2 hours ago, summer said:

Thank you so much for your advice and help, I really appreciate it! I have read the Book of Mormon 8 times and feel like so much of it still goes over my head. I love the Book of Mormon reader for kids, it has been great to read to my youngest and to learn along with her. Thank you again!

I love "book of Mormon stories". It has pictures!

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On ‎09‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 4:51 PM, MormonGator said:

Summer, you sound like such a sweet and wonderful person. First off I think everyone here is giving you a cyber hug. 

The fact that you feel that way shows that you are much smarter and more perceptive than you think you are. The person who thinks they know everything knows nothing and the person who thinks they have it all together is usually five seconds away from it all falling apart. 

Don't be so hard on yourself. You know much more than you think you do and you are doing just fine.

I think it was Bertrand Russell who said "the trouble with the world is the ignorant are cocksure and the wise are full of doubts" 

P.S. I just looked up the exact quote - it is:

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.

And it was Bertrand Russell.

Edited by Jamie123
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On September 11, 2016 at 1:29 PM, Jamie123 said:

I think it was Bertrand Russell who said "the trouble with the world is the ignorant are cocksure and the wise are full of doubts" 

P.S. I just looked up the exact quote - it is:

 

 

And it was Bertrand Russell.

This is very interesting...I have been told by people that I have a lot of wisdom...but it is so hard for me to see it...I doubt myself constantly...

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On September 9, 2016 at 6:48 AM, summer said:

How do you get over feeling inadequate at church? I feel like everyone knows so much more than I do and it is intimidating to even go at times. Does anyone else feel like this?

I used to at times. But being in business has taught me that one can only do so much. An apple is eaten one bite at a time. 

 

One cannot do everything or be all things to all people. 

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