Guest Posted September 20, 2016 Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 4 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said: Being LDS has nothing to do with whether or not he offers his support. Nothing. You don't have to be LDS to know that you should support your wife in these types of things. They don't teach that in Sunday school or priesthood. I don't know John doe and as a armchair psychologist I would say he has issues with his mother. He refusal to deal with the situation tells you all you need to know about that singular aspect of his relationship. This does not make him a bad person or a bad husband, but It's not going to change without outside help. I'm not saying you're wrong with this last post. I agree with it. And perhaps it is the primary issue at hand. But I do believe it is a narrow description of what is going on. There's more to it. The fact that he is not LDS and this issue (although rooted in his innate issues with his mother as he said) is compounded by the internal religious conflict regarding this particular question. There is also the problem with (as Jane said) that he tends to be the "ignore the elephant in the room" type of person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted September 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 Everyone: *deep breath* Maureen, Backroads and Sunday21 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
classylady Posted September 20, 2016 Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 Jane, you cannot change your MIL. I think you know this. She will only change because she wants to and sees a need to do so. All you can do is love her. Let her know how much you appreciate and love her. I think she will soften as time goes by with your continued love for her. In the meantime life can be hard. We all want instant results in our relationships, but life simply isn't that way. This may be an issue that never is resolved. Hopefully not, but if so, you need to learn to let it slide and see the good in your relationship with your MIL. It would be nice if husband would talk to his mother. But, if he isn't going to do it, then learn to divert your MIL's comments. Hopefully, things will get better. I wish I could offer more advice. It's a difficult situation you're placed under, but I have full confidence in you, that you can handle this with a Christ-like attitude. Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted September 22, 2016 Report Share Posted September 22, 2016 On September 20, 2016 at 2:06 PM, Jane_Doe said: Everyone: *deep breath* What are we like! ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted September 22, 2016 Report Share Posted September 22, 2016 On 9/20/2016 at 3:27 PM, classylady said: Jane, you cannot change your MIL. I think you know this. She will only change because she wants to and sees a need to do so. All you can do is love her. Let her know how much you appreciate and love her. I think she will soften as time goes by with your continued love for her. I can attest to this. My last visit with my mother... she asked me on a Saturday night... "What time is your church?". I've been used to going to the Catholic Church with her on my visits and going to the LDS Church if time allows. So I was quite shocked that she asked me what time our Church is. She actually expected me to go to our chuch! And not only that, she told me to meet them at this restaurant for lunch after services... which meant she didn't expect me to attend the Catholic Church! I was like... WHOA! Okay, so I still went to a restaurant with her on the Sabbath but that's such small potatoes under the circumstances. Maureen, classylady, Jane_Doe and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane_Doe Posted September 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2016 4 minutes ago, anatess2 said: I can attest to this. My last visit with my mother... she asked me on a Saturday night... "What time is your church?". I've been used to going to the Catholic Church with her on my visits and going to the LDS Church if time allows. So I was quite shocked that she asked me what time our Church is. She actually expected me to go to our chuch! And not only that, she told me to meet them at this restaurant for lunch after services... which meant she didn't expect me to attend the Catholic Church! I was like... WHOA! Okay, so I still went to a restaurant with her on the Sabbath but that's such small potatoes under the circumstances. WHOA indeed!!! I'm hoping she'll soften over time... in the past 7 years and having a kid she's only hardened, but one can pray and hope, so that's what I'm going to do. classylady, Sunday21 and anatess2 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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