zil Posted December 18, 2018 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2018 There's this guy who collects candy canes. They're all in mint condition. NeuroTypical, Sunday21 and Vort 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted December 18, 2018 Report Share Posted December 18, 2018 Most best one of these yet: zil, Vort and Midwest LDS 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2018 Report Share Posted December 21, 2018 (edited) Has anyone seen these? https://www.google.com/search?q=JLA+texts&safe=off&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwja4P-g56_fAhVJbK0KHXiqD2kQsAR6BAgGEAE&biw=1920&bih=938#imgrc=aorQEk1A29YtDM: JLA texting. Edited December 21, 2018 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 21, 2018 Report Share Posted December 21, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted December 26, 2018 Report Share Posted December 26, 2018 Vort, Jamie123, Still_Small_Voice and 1 other 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted December 29, 2018 Report Share Posted December 29, 2018 On 12/7/2016 at 3:45 PM, Carborendum said: How do you kill an elephant? With an elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? You hold its trunk until it turns blue. Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a yellow elephant? You tell it a really embarrassing joke until it turns red. Then you hold its trunk until it turns blue. Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Who ever heard of a purple elephant? since someone started elephant jokes - Do you know what you can do with an elephant on the freeway? ans - almost 30 miles/hour. Do you know how to tell if you just passed an elephant? ans - the toilet won't flush. The Traveler Jamie123 and Vort 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) Trying to concatenate the numbers 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals simply gets me LIVID. Edited January 16, 2019 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 I think that would be the LIVED experience of anyone who tries to do the same Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 What do you call a man with a car on his head - Jack What do you call a man in a pile of leaves - Rustle What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the middle of the ocean - Bob What do you call a man with a shovel in his head - Doug zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted January 13, 2019 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 6 hours ago, askandanswer said: What do you call a man with no arms and legs Ah, the classics: ...on the beach? .Sandy. ...on the front porch? .Matt. ...hanging on a wall? .Art. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, zil said: Ah, the classics: ...on the beach? .Sandy. ...on the front porch? .Matt. ...hanging on a wall? .Art. ...in a hot tub? .Stu. ...in a swimming pool? .Bob. ...wost in the pwumbling? .Dwayne. Edited January 13, 2019 by Vort Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted January 13, 2019 Report Share Posted January 13, 2019 This is the sign outside my local butcher's job. ' And on the other side zil, Sunday21 and Jamie123 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted January 15, 2019 Report Share Posted January 15, 2019 mordorbund, zil and Sunday21 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted July 16, 2019 Report Share Posted July 16, 2019 Doctor: We've got the results of your tests, and your DNA is all backwards Patient: AND..............? Jamie123 and NeuroTypical 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mores Posted July 16, 2019 Report Share Posted July 16, 2019 On 1/13/2019 at 7:59 AM, zil said: Ah, the classics: ...on the beach? .Sandy. ...on the front porch? .Matt. ...hanging on a wall? .Art. Sandy Mat Art Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dprh Posted July 16, 2019 Report Share Posted July 16, 2019 5 hours ago, Mores said: Sandy Mat Art I always ask them as "What do you call a man (or woman) with no arms or legs..." then for Art, you can ask what do you call his arms and legs? Pieces of Art. My three favorites are ...a woman...on a tennis court? Annette ...two guys...in a window? Curt and Rod ...a guy and a girl...on a grill Frank and Patty askandanswer and NeuroTypical 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted March 13, 2020 Report Share Posted March 13, 2020 Another one from my local butcher R.I P Boiling Water You'll be mist dprh, Jamie123, Vort and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted March 13, 2020 Report Share Posted March 13, 2020 What's the definition of "baroque"? When you have no Monet. askandanswer, dprh and Vort 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted April 24, 2020 Report Share Posted April 24, 2020 Yet more truth and light from my local butcher. On one side of his board: Three unwritten rules of life: 1. 2. 3. On the other side: Justice is a best served cold. If it was served warm it would be just water. Jamie123, Vort, dprh and 2 others 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamie123 Posted April 30, 2020 Report Share Posted April 30, 2020 Vort, dprh, SilentOne and 1 other 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 30, 2020 Report Share Posted April 30, 2020 This isn't so much a 'lame joke', more like a 'did you call my life lame' moment. Jamie123 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scott Posted April 30, 2020 Report Share Posted April 30, 2020 A conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walk into a bar. Bartender says, "How you doin' Mitt?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carborendum Posted May 1, 2020 Report Share Posted May 1, 2020 17 hours ago, NeuroTypical said: This isn't so much a 'lame joke', more like a 'did you call my life lame' moment. That's me to a T. I feel so pathetic. NeuroTypical 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carborendum Posted May 1, 2020 Report Share Posted May 1, 2020 (edited) 16 hours ago, Scott said: A conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walk into a bar. Bartender says, "How you doin' Mitt?" Speaks pretty poorly of Mitt, when both Scott and I agree on our opinion of him. Edited May 1, 2020 by Carborendum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted November 25, 2020 Report Share Posted November 25, 2020 "That sounds like 'third' in some Latin language," Tom said tersely. Carborendum 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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