Lame Jokes, the Sequel


zil
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On 12/7/2016 at 3:45 PM, Carborendum said:

How do you kill an elephant?  With an elephant gun.

How do you kill a blue elephant?  With a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a red elephant?  You hold its trunk until it turns blue.  Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a yellow elephant?  You tell it a really embarrassing joke until it turns red.  Then you hold its trunk until it turns blue.  Then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

How do you kill a purple elephant?  Who ever heard of a purple elephant?

since someone started elephant jokes - Do you know what you can do with an elephant on the freeway?

ans - almost 30 miles/hour.

Do you know how to tell if you just passed an elephant?

ans - the toilet won't flush.

 

The Traveler 

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  • 2 weeks later...
3 hours ago, zil said:

Ah, the classics:

...on the beach?  .Sandy.

...on the front porch?  .Matt.

...hanging on a wall?  .Art.

...in a hot tub? .Stu.

...in a swimming pool? .Bob.

...wost in the pwumbling? .Dwayne.

Edited by Vort
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  • 6 months later...
Guest Mores
On 1/13/2019 at 7:59 AM, zil said:

Ah, the classics:

...on the beach?  .Sandy.

...on the front porch?  .Matt.

...hanging on a wall?  .Art.

Sandy

Mat

Art

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5 hours ago, Mores said:

Sandy

Mat

Art

I always ask them as "What do you call a man (or woman) with no arms or legs..."  then for Art, you can ask what do you call his arms and legs?

Pieces of Art.

My three favorites are

...a woman...on a tennis court?

Annette

...two guys...in a window?

Curt and Rod

...a guy and a girl...on a grill

Frank and Patty

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  • 1 month later...
16 hours ago, Scott said:

A conservative, a moderate, and a liberal walk into a bar.

Bartender says, "How you doin' Mitt?"

Speaks pretty poorly of Mitt, when both Scott and I agree on our opinion of him.

Edited by Carborendum
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