Lame Jokes, the Sequel


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An indian chief was agonizing over a troubling recurring dream. The tribal medicine man asked the chief to describe the dream. The chief explained that he kept having the same dream in every detail except that sometimes he was in his teepee and other times he had a wigwam. The medicine man told him the interpretation of this dream was simple, "you're two tents!"

Edited by SpiritDragon
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The lamest of lame jokes:

An Indian chief took three wives. To the first, he gave a buffalo hide. To the second, he gave a deer hide. But for the third, his favorite, he sent a brave far away, across land and water, to retrieve the rare and highly coveted hide of the hippopotamus.

Within a year, the first two squaws had each borne the Indian chief a son. In their honor, they were moved into a spacious, comfortable tepee. The third squaw, though childless, was also moved into another spacious tepee. The first two squaws complained bitterly of this inequity: They, who had borne sons for the chief, had to share a tent, while the third and childless squaw got one to herself. So the chief explained:

"The sons of the squaws of the two hides are equal to the squaw of the hippopotamus."

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On 12/23/2016 at 3:44 PM, NeuroTypical said:

There are 10 types of people in the world.  Those who count in binary and those who don't!

There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who count in binary, those who count in trinary, those who count in quaternary, those who count in decimal, those who count in hexadecimal, those who can't count, and those who realize that the statement "There are 10 types of people in this world" can be followed by a list of any number N of items where N represents the base of the numbering system under consideration.

But that's not really a joke, and it's not especially funny, except in a sort of meta and perhaps ironic way. So maybe it counts.

It counts! Get it? Ha ha ha! I'm such a riot.

Edited by Vort
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22 hours ago, Vort said:

What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhinoceros?

Less geeky answer: Elephino

Geekier answer: (Elephant) (Rhinoceros) (sin θ)

I think only a handful of people would get that.  But I'm here for you, bro.

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  • pam unfeatured this topic

You've all heard about Chuck Norris jokes.  Well, there is an even geekier darkside to jokes in this vein called Gauss Facts.  Here we go.

Gauss can recite all the digits of PI... backwards.
Gauss knows the exact location and momentum of a particle simultaneously.
Gauss caused the big bang just by thinking about it.
Gauss can trisect an angle with a straight edge and a compass.
Gauss can draw a circle with a straight edge.
Gauss can draw a straight line with a compass.
Gauss once played a zero-sum game with himself -- and won $50.
For Gauss, there are no indefinite integrals.
The shortest distance between two points is Gauss.
For Gauss, there is no such thing as "number theory", only "number facts".

 

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Pick up lines only math  geeks would get.

Your sine must be PI/2 because you are the one.
How can I know 100 digits of PI and not know the digits of your phone number?
I wish you were sin^2 and I were cos^2 so together, we could be one.

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16 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Pick up lines only math  geeks would get.

Your sine must be PI/2 because you are the one.
How can I know 100 digits of PI and not know the digits of your phone number?
I wish you were sin^2 and I were cos^2 so together, we could be one.

We are like twins conjoined at the sinoatrial node: Two hearts beating as one.

I wish I had thought of that 30 years ago, so I could have used it on my girlfriend before asking her to marry me. She would have been overcome by my romantic persuasions.

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Rabbi 1 to Rabbi 2: I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian.

Rabbi 2:  You know what, I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian too!

Rabbi 1 and Rabbi 2 to Rabbie 3:  We sent our sons to Israel and they came home a Christian.

Rabbi 3:  You know what, I sent my son to Israel and he came home a Christian too!

So all 3 Rabbis decided to go to Israel and figure out what's going on.  Together they prayed at the western wall.

Rabbis:  God, we sent our sons to Israel and they came home a Christian.  We seek to know why.

God:  You know what...

 

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On 1/3/2017 at 11:30 AM, Vort said:

We are like twins conjoined at the sinoatrial node: Two hearts beating as one.

I wish I had thought of that 30 years ago, so I could have used it on my girlfriend before asking her to marry me. She would have been overcome by my romantic persuasions.

I had a boyfriend who got me by telling me "I love you with all my CPU".  This was, of course, a radical thing back in the 80's in the Philippines where only the nerds knew what a CPU is.  Geeks can't even spell CPU back then.

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