Vort Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 1 minute ago, NeedleinA said: The Walking Dead... Dad humor, unlike those who Walk, will never die. NeedleinA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 Yay! The Walking Dad jokes!!!! NeedleinA and Jamie123 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 1 hour ago, NeuroTypical said: Yay! The Walking Dad jokes!!!! Then that explains why noses run and feet smell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 47 minutes ago, Carborendum said: Then that explains why noses run and feet smell. And this one explains why we cook bacon and bake cookies. Overwatch 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted April 9, 2018 Report Share Posted April 9, 2018 But why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? Overwatch and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted April 10, 2018 Report Share Posted April 10, 2018 On 5/4/2017 at 9:50 AM, Vort said: Nothing tears a family apart faster than a pack of wild dogs. The whole family was reading this thread at dinner tonight and laughing our heads off. This one cracked us ALL up as we thought about sharing in in a talk some day or creating a Mormon Ad around it. zil, Sunday21, Overwatch and 1 other 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted April 13, 2018 Report Share Posted April 13, 2018 What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto Sunday21 and NeedleinA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunday21 Posted May 6, 2018 Report Share Posted May 6, 2018 A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth." The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..." The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist." The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?" And the guy says, "Your light was on Overwatch, Jamie123 and zil 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted May 7, 2018 Report Share Posted May 7, 2018 A woman went into a coma while pregnant. She woke up after the baby was already born. The doctor tells her, “Good news! You had twins! A girl and a boy!” The woman replied, “Oh no, my husband is really terrible with choosing baby names.” The doctor said, “His brother chose the names. He named the girl Denise.” And the woman was pleased, “Oh that’s a great name! What did he name the boy?” The doctor replied, “Denephew”. Overwatch, zil, Jamie123 and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted June 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 Why did the stand-up comedian cancel his unemployment joke? . . . . It wouldn't work. NeuroTypical and Sunday21 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted June 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 How do you organize an Outer Space party? . . . . You planet. askandanswer and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted June 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 When does a dad joke become a dad joke? . . . . When the punch line becomes apparent. NeedleinA, askandanswer, NeuroTypical and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted June 21, 2018 Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 What do you call transwomen superheroes? XMen. NeuroTypical 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted June 21, 2018 Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 Why do gorillas have big noses? Because they've got big fingers! (People under 5 don't even realize this is a joke, it's just common sense that gets lost as we stop being as little children.) Overwatch and anatess2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted June 21, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 What did the femur say to the patella? . . . . I kneed you! anatess2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirkwood Posted June 21, 2018 Report Share Posted June 21, 2018 anatess2 and NeedleinA 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted June 22, 2018 Report Share Posted June 22, 2018 14 hours ago, NeuroTypical said: Why do gorillas have big noses? Because they've got big fingers! (People under 5 don't even realize this is a joke, it's just common sense that gets lost as we stop being as little children.) Why can't men get pregnant? Because the baby will come out like spaghetti. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted June 22, 2018 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2018 12 hours ago, mirkwood said: Duh. That is clearly not a pen. It's a photograph of a Montblanc fountain pen. (Not really my cup of overpriced tea, but whatever floats your boat.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeedleinA Posted July 2, 2018 Report Share Posted July 2, 2018 My son shared this one with me, it was lame enough for this thread: "An apple a day can keep anyone away if thrown at them hard enough" (intro thunderous applause) Sunday21, NeuroTypical, zil and 2 others 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeuroTypical Posted July 2, 2018 Report Share Posted July 2, 2018 Heh. I shared this one with the entire world when I was 8: The Golden Rule: "Do unto others, then run!" Overwatch and zil 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted July 2, 2018 Report Share Posted July 2, 2018 (edited) Magritte Monday, in honor of @zil's response above. Edited July 2, 2018 by Vort zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vort Posted July 2, 2018 Report Share Posted July 2, 2018 French surrealist geek non-joke: - → | ← Ceci n'est pas une pipe. - Mais...bien sûr que si... zil 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted July 2, 2018 Report Share Posted July 2, 2018 This is my idea of dad jokes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
askandanswer Posted July 22, 2018 Report Share Posted July 22, 2018 (edited) Comments made in our Sunday School class today as we discussed Psalms Teacher: Has anyone studied much about Psalms: Class member: The Lord has kept me safe and out of Psalms way for most of my life Teacher: Can anybody tell me about some of their readings from Psalms this week? Me: I'd like to say Psalmsomething, but I haven't read it this week so I can't say anything Teacher: Could someone please turn to Psalms 22:1 Me: I've got it in the Psalm of my hands. Teacher: Can we please put a stop to the puns. Edited July 22, 2018 by askandanswer Vort and Sunday21 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted July 23, 2018 Report Share Posted July 23, 2018 What has this world come to??? Yesterday around 7am, some guy who was wearing a black hoodie and black sweatpants tried to rob me by pulling a pair of scissors on me. Luckily I had the presence of mind to reach into my pocket and pull out a rock! I couldn't imagine what would have happened if I only had paper. I would've lost. Vort, Sunday21 and Jamie123 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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