Coping with Depression


ALostSoul
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On 12/19/2016 at 6:06 PM, ALostSoul said:

I am an 18 year old member of the church who has struggled with depression for some time. Even though I have had small bouts and shown slight signs of depression in the past, may biggest issues started last year around October when stress from deciding what I would do after high school triggered something that brought major episodes of depression. Since then, it has been a roller coaster with trying to deal with what I am facing. I told my parents and eventually sought a therapist. I recently made an appointment with a psychiatrist and starting in late January, I will be on antidepressants. Throughout all of this, i am going to school and trying to live life as normally as I can. I originally planned to go on a mission, but I decided I would not be able to until I got this under control and now, I honestly don't even want to go on a mission anymore. This whole experience has left me seriously pessimistic and hopeless about the future. I know that the church is true and everything that I have been going through has been a trial I am meant to bare in order to test my faith, but I find the idea of going on like this immensely bleak. I honestly can find no reason for going on in my life and find nothing to bring me joy any more. I even try to date and find things that keep my mind off of my doubts, but nothing has worked. Dating is hard, especially since there are not a lot of Mormon girls in my area. I have run out of ideas and I find myself with so little will to live, I fear that eventually I will wish to take my own life. Up until this point, I have rejected all thoughts about taking my life because I know the pain I would bring my family, but I am afraid that eventually all thought and feeling will give way to the temptation so heavily put upon my head. If anyone can give a word of advice or help me in the direction to finding a purpose, I would be very grateful.

I struggled with major depression for 54 years, along with occasional bouts of anxiety.  The last 11 years I was a drug addict and nearly overdosed a few times.  I was suicidal for those 11 years and I had kicking, fighting, screaming nightmares nearly every night, 2-3 times a night.  I went to doctor after doctor after doctor.  Over several years I was a guinea pig for these doctors and over a period of time was given 22 different anti-psychotics, antidepressants, and anti anxiety drugs.  None of them worked.  The last drug I was given made my life a living hell, but hey, the doctor said to take them, and like a total fool, I listened to the doctor.  The last drug, Seroquel, made me sleep12 hours a day, which just allowed me more time for the nightmares.  This was the doctor's idea of treating my symptoms: me sleeping my life away.  When I finally wised up and came off the Seroquel, I learned something the doctor neglected to inform me about: you become addicted to the garbage.  When coming off of it, I vomited for six weeks.

Everybody who loves doctors and pshrinks like to quote Elder Holland's talk, "Like a Broken Vessel," as justification to do what the doctor orders.  "Hey, an apostle of the Lord told me to go to doctors, so I'll do what he says."  No where in his talk did he say to blindly take a doctor's advice or wolf down handfuls of drugs.  He said to prayerfully consider their advice.  I suggest you do just that.  I also suggest you be very, very careful about listening to the wisdom of the world.  I still have bouts of anxiety, but I don't run to doctors.  I get on my knees and run to Christ.  When I have an anxiety attack, like I did a couple days ago, I exercise my faith and ask for help.  Without fail, the anxiety lifts and I get on with my life.  Sadly, faith and the priesthood have taken back seats to doctors, pshrinks, and drugs.

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14 minutes ago, Jojo Bags said:

I struggled with major depression for 54 years, along with occasional bouts of anxiety.  The last 11 years I was a drug addict and nearly overdosed a few times.  I was suicidal for those 11 years and I had kicking, fighting, screaming nightmares nearly every night, 2-3 times a night.  I went to doctor after doctor after doctor.  Over several years I was a guinea pig for these doctors and over a period of time was given 22 different anti-psychotics, antidepressants, and anti anxiety drugs.  None of them worked.  The last drug I was given made my life a living hell, but hey, the doctor said to take them, and like a total fool, I listened to the doctor.  The last drug, Seroquel, made me sleep12 hours a day, which just allowed me more time for the nightmares.  This was the doctor's idea of treating my symptoms: me sleeping my life away.  When I finally wised up and came off the Seroquel, I learned something the doctor neglected to inform me about: you become addicted to the garbage.  When coming off of it, I vomited for six weeks.

Everybody who loves doctors and pshrinks like to quote Elder Holland's talk, "Like a Broken Vessel," as justification to do what the doctor orders.  "Hey, an apostle of the Lord told me to go to doctors, so I'll do what he says."  No where in his talk did he say to blindly take a doctor's advice or wolf down handfuls of drugs.  He said to prayerfully consider their advice.  I suggest you do just that.  I also suggest you be very, very careful about listening to the wisdom of the world.  I still have bouts of anxiety, but I don't run to doctors.  I get on my knees and run to Christ.  When I have an anxiety attack, like I did a couple days ago, I exercise my faith and ask for help.  Without fail, the anxiety lifts and I get on with my life.  Sadly, faith and the priesthood have taken back seats to doctors, pshrinks, and drugs.

Amen! I've been saying this for quite a while.  We trust way too much in the arm of flesh when it comes to things of the mind and spirit. God is more powerful than we can possibly imagine-He has the power to heal our minds and spirits.  

The road is never easy and somethings for whatever reason we might be afflicted with for our entire life. Why that is the case we may not know until the next life . . .but God is Master over all, we are His Children and He loves us; faith and priesthood work miracles.

Edited by yjacket
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On 2/11/2017 at 7:11 PM, yjacket said:

Amen! I've been saying this for quite a while.  We trust way too much in the arm of flesh when it comes to things of the mind and spirit. God is more powerful than we can possibly imagine-He has the power to heal our minds and spirits.  

The road is never easy and somethings for whatever reason we might be afflicted with for our entire life. Why that is the case we may not know until the next life . . .but God is Master over all, we are His Children and He loves us; faith and priesthood work miracles.

I have found that a large number of LDS have doctors as their golden calves.  My entire family is like this.  I used to be like this, but I have a wonderful wife who taught me differently.  I do appreciate a good surgeon.  Three months ago I was badly injured in a car accident and it took seven hours for the doctor to put my wrist and hand back together.

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What I hope those who are suffering and looking for support will learn from this thread is that everywhere you go, there will be those who are so blinded by their ignorance or fear or narrow-mindedness, or indeed their own issues, that they won't even consider another viewpoint... but that has nothing to do with you. You can't let them damage you further. They will say ugly, shaming, accusatory things... but that is about them. Don't let it push you deeper into despair or run from the answers meant for you.

God has all power. Heavenly Father is endlessly merciful. He knows and loves every molecule of your being. Always, always pray to Him and certainly seek Priesthood blessings, Have faith that the miracle will come, but don't allow fear or arrogance, yours or anyone else's, to blind you to what that miracle might look like. Follow the Spirit and let the answers come, in spite of brash voices trying to drown them out. The miracle may come in the form of a healing blessing. We know Heavenly Father can do that. We also know that we agreed to a mortal probation with flawed and, at times, failing bodies; and sometimes that sort of healing is not the answer He will give. So the miracle may also come in the form of medical help, imperfect as it is. God can help anyone find answers... all His children, even the ones with "M.D." behind their names. The miracle might be inspiration leading your healthcare team to find the right formula to help loosen the choke-hold of mental illness.

Lessons and miracles come in all shapes and sizes, and the only opinion that matters is His, so listen to what He has in store for you, and what lessons He wants you to take from it. Have faith that He knows you, and what you need, and even though it can take a lot of time and it's a battle that will never totally end, He is with you every step of the way if you just ask.... and listen.

Quote

A very religious man was once caught in rising floodwaters. He climbed onto the roof of his house and trusted God to rescue him. A neighbour came by in a canoe and said, “The waters will soon be above your house. Hop in and we’ll paddle to safety.”

“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will save me”

A short time later the police came by in a boat. “The waters will soon be above your house. Hop in and we’ll take you to safety.”

“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will save me”

A little time later a rescue services helicopter hovered overhead, let down a rope ladder and said. “The waters will soon be above your house. Climb the ladder and we’ll fly you to safety.”

“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will save me”

All this time the floodwaters continued to rise, until soon they reached above the roof and the religious man drowned. When he arrived at heaven he demanded an audience with God. Ushered into God’s throne room he said, “Lord, why am I here in heaven? I prayed for you to save me, I trusted you to save me from that flood.”

“Yes you did my child” replied the Lord. “And I sent you a canoe, a boat and a helicopter. But you never got in.”

 

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Why has faith been kicked to the curb?  What is wrong with turning to faith, the priesthood, and Christ?  Why are doctors always the answer?  


 And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed. D&C 48:42

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Guest MormonGator
2 minutes ago, Jojo Bags said:

Why has faith been kicked to the curb?  What is wrong with turning to faith, the priesthood, and Christ?  Why are doctors always the answer?  

 

Those things are all good but it's not an either/or situation. You can do both. 

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Guest MormonGator
52 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Jojo did you even read my post past your hurt feelings?

Obviously, I don't know what @Jojo Bags does. But I have a dog in this fight. 

When I joined the church I had someone ask "Aren't Mormons those people who just pray when their kids get cancer? That's sick." She was right, that is sick-and she was wrong, LDS actually believe in things called "doctors". After all, Russell Nelson was....oh yeah. A doctor. 

Those who don't believe in medicine make us all look foolish. They make it much, much worse for the rest of us. Thanks guys. 

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3 hours ago, Jojo Bags said:

Why has faith been kicked to the curb?  What is wrong with turning to faith, the priesthood, and Christ?  Why are doctors always the answer?

Why jump to that conclusion?

My FIL was feeling awkward symptoms.  He asked for a blessing.  He was healed.  Then about a week later, the symptoms recurred.  It was only then that DOCTORS found out that his fad diet eliminated many electrolytes in his diet.  

So, yes, faith heals.  But if the underlying cause is not dealt with, it will keep coming back anyway.  And it took a doctor to discover the underlying cause.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

Why jump to that conclusion?

I agree, Carb!  My priesthood blessings tell me the Lord is pleased with the work I'm doing in therapy, and the encourage me to continue. 

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2 hours ago, Carborendum said:

Why jump to that conclusion?

My FIL was feeling awkward symptoms.  He asked for a blessing.  He was healed.  Then about a week later, the symptoms recurred.  It was only then that DOCTORS found out that his fad diet eliminated many electrolytes in his diet.  

So, yes, faith heals.  But if the underlying cause is not dealt with, it will keep coming back anyway.  And it took a doctor to discover the underlying cause.

Don't get me wrong.  Doctors have their place, but all too many people use them as a golden calf, especially when it comes to "mental illnesses." 

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16 minutes ago, Jojo Bags said:

Don't get me wrong.  Doctors have their place, but all too many people use them as a golden calf, especially when it comes to "mental illnesses." 

Ok.  I get it.  You had a particular issue with a particular usage of doctors for a particular purpose that you disagree with.  But don't you feel it a bit judgmental to characterize what "a large number of LDS have doctors as their golden calves"?

If not judgmental, what are you using as your basis for this characterization?  And what specific examples have you seen personally -- outside your extended family?

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Guest MormonGator
8 minutes ago, Carborendum said:

Ok.  I get it.  You had a particular issue with a particular usage of doctors for a particular purpose that you disagree with.  But don't you feel it a bit judgmental to characterize what "a large number of LDS have doctors as their golden calves"?

If not judgmental, what are you using as your basis for this characterization?  And what specific examples have you seen personally -- outside your extended family?

Given that many of us take medicine for depression/OCD that probably saves our lives-I don't take anyone seriously who thinks that mental health issues aren't worthy of the attention of an MD. 

Thankfully, very very few people inside the church think this way. Someone already posted the "Like a Broken Vessel" talk, right? 

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8 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Given that many of us take medicine for depression/OCD that probably saves our lives-I don't take anyone seriously who thinks that mental health issues aren't worthy of the attention of an MD. 

Thankfully, very very few people inside the church think this way. Someone already posted the "Like a Broken Vessel" talk, right? 

I believe it was the starting post of the "hard times" forum.

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55 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Given that many of us take medicine for depression/OCD that probably saves our lives-I don't take anyone seriously who thinks that mental health issues aren't worthy of the attention of an MD. 

Thankfully, very very few people inside the church think this way. Someone already posted the "Like a Broken Vessel" talk, right? 

Yes and it was stated that we use his talk as an "excuse" to worship the golden calf of medicine... Like Elder Holland did when he was deeply struggling.

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On 2/16/2017 at 9:17 AM, Jojo Bags said:

Why has faith been kicked to the curb?  What is wrong with turning to faith, the priesthood, and Christ?  Why are doctors always the answer?  


 And again, it shall come to pass that he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed. D&C 48:42

 

16 hours ago, Eowyn said:

Yes and it was stated that we use his talk as an "excuse" to worship the golden calf of medicine... Like Elder Holland did when he was deeply struggling.

I understand faith is a major part in being healed and that we should all look towards the spirit when things seem unbearable, but I also understand that sometimes its hard to even get to the point to be able to rely wholly on faith. I know personally that I tried for a while to not take any medication and only try speech therapy to overcome my issues, but it definitely was not enough. I feel bad saying it, but looking back, there were several times where I could not feel anything, including any empathy or desire to do more in the gospel. I understand that it is a part of what I am going through that makes it more difficult to feel the spirit and rely on God; even when I was reminded of the wonderful blessings promised in the life to come if we remain faithful members of the church, I could not even feel relieved because all I see now are the pains I go through.

I don't think we should blindly follow any advice given without confirmation of the spirit, but part of being on the Earth at this time is that we are blessed to have knowledge far surpassing that even decades ago, where priesthood blessings had a different but equally important role in healing the sick. I understand not wanting to follow every bit of advice when it comes to certain things, like medication with side effects. But I know that even those are essential for some of us right now. I am still trying to get the right medication down. I am fairly certain that the medication I have been receiving is not the right kind and that I likely don't have bipolar disorder. I am trying to remain patient, even though it is very hard and I continually have boughts of depression, anger, impatience and despair. I will try my best to hang in there and not be so forgetful and little in faith.

 

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23 hours ago, Jojo Bags said:

Don't get me wrong.  Doctors have their place, but all too many people use them as a golden calf, especially when it comes to "mental illnesses." 

I don't usually nit-pick posts but I think it is important to ask so I can understand you better. Any particular reason why you used quotation marks when writing mental illnesses?

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