Dating?


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I've been wanting to date and have been looking around my area for people to date, but haven't had a lot of luck. The church is kind of small where I live, so the few YSA wards are too far away and I go to community college, which does not have as many options as I thought. Any suggestions?

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That's a toughy... I have no idea what that would be like O.o . If marriage is that important to you (which it should be ;) ) maybe move to a college town with a larger YSA? Most large scale colleges have YSA's, and they tend to be better schools where you can achieve a greater education. I would suggest weighing the pros and cons of staying at your community college with going to a larger school. You definitely don't want to lower your standards and start dating those who don't share them. And I personally would not date a girl not of the LDS faith, not because they arn't "good enough", but because I would expect a temple marriage with them and won't settle for less.

Also, if you haven't already, I would encourage serving a mission (If there are medical reasons why you can't than don't worry about it).

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Isaac, and Jacob both traveled very far to find their brides.  You may need to grow a bit and move to other cities and other places as you go about your life for work, for school, for whatever in order to find a young woman who will be a good match for you.

My brother-in-law found a nice young lady who lives about 1-1/2 hours away.  I don't know how they met.  But that is pretty far when we're driving.  And considering the time constraints in his life, that is an enormous time commitment just to have a relationship, much less to get close enough to now consider marriage.

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Guest LiterateParakeet

When I was single, I moved every couple years. :) I met my husband while I was in Bethel, Alaska. So I'm a big fan of moving if you need to. Though I dont recommend Alaska for YOU because when I was there the men out numbered the women 7 to 1.  Worked for my roommate and I though, LOL.

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Ditto on moving to where prospects are better.  Make it a matter of prayer and let the Lord guide where you go.  I do not recommend trying to find somebody online, it is easy to hide a lot of things in long distance relationship and it worked out very poorly for my sister when she did that and got involved with the wrong guy.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
3 hours ago, Latter-Day Marriage said:

 Make it a matter of prayer and let the Lord guide where you go. 

So true!  I didn't want to move to Bethel, because I knew I would hate it (and I did). And before Bethel, I was living in Anchorage, which I loved. But when I prayed about it, the Spirit guided me to Bethel. 

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Guest LiterateParakeet
2 minutes ago, zil said:

But do you know what "Bethel" means?  How could anyone not want to live in Bethel? :)

Lol, yes, but it is a fairly remote village where the wind chill can (and did) reach 80 below zero. Brrrrr! 

Oh and most people there don't have running water. Honey buckets...ewwww!  

To be fair, most everyone I knew there loved Bethel. It just wasn't for me.

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57 minutes ago, LiterateParakeet said:

Lol, yes, but it is a fairly remote village where the wind chill can (and did) reach 80 below zero. Brrrrr! 

Heavy duty cuddling weather.  That's a bonus when you're dating.

None of that coming back from an innocent walk in the park both dripping sweat, and everyone assuming you were doing a lot more than walking.

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I have lots of cousins who would date you....

 

 

 

 

 

 

... they need visas.

 

But seriously.  There are 2 people in our Ward who went to the Phlippines to look for a wife.  One of them got married there and brought his wife to the US, the other brought his fiancee to the US and got married here.  Right now, I'm enjoying lunch prepared by one of those Filipinas.

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On 12/22/2016 at 0:40 PM, ALostSoul said:

I've been wanting to date and have been looking around my area for people to date, but haven't had a lot of luck. The church is kind of small where I live, so the few YSA wards are too far away and I go to community college, which does not have as many options as I thought. Any suggestions?

I would totally move around!  You are young, and one of the great things about being young and single is you have the ability to pack up and move very easily.  I don't know if you have any commitments holding you back from moving around (e.g. scholarships), and you certainly would want to take these things into consideration before making your move.  However, my gut reaction is this: have some fun, live a little, have an adventure which may end in marriage!  You are only young once, and finding a good spouse is worth whatever sacrifice you put in.  

Just make sure to pray about it first (and take the question with you to the temple)... you wouldn't want to move if an ideal spouse is right there in front of you, wherever you are going to church!

As for online dating, I know people who this has worked out for... and on the other hand I have read news stories where people pretend to be someone they are not online and all that kind of thing.  For example, I am not really a doctor!  If you try online dating, proceed with caution.

Edited by DoctorLemon
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On 1/5/2017 at 5:53 PM, DoctorLemon said:

I would totally move around!  You are young, and one of the great things about being young and single is you have the ability to pack up and move very easily.  I don't know if you have any commitments holding you back from moving around (e.g. scholarships), and you certainly would want to take these things into consideration before making your move.  However, my gut reaction is this: have some fun, live a little, have an adventure which may end in marriage!  You are only young once, and finding a good spouse is worth whatever sacrifice you put in.  

Just make sure to pray about it first (and take the question with you to the temple)... you wouldn't want to move if an ideal spouse is right there in front of you, wherever you are going to church!

As for online dating, I know people who this has worked out for... and on the other hand I have read news stories where people pretend to be someone they are not online and all that kind of thing.  For example, I am not really a doctor!  If you try online dating, proceed with caution.

Ive considered moving and trying to see where the grass may be greener, but at the moment I'm still tethered to school for scholarships and am struggling with a few issues personally anyways. Its hard to move away from home where everything Ive ever known is. Plus I can't financially support that decision unless I found a job that paid well.

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On 1/4/2017 at 0:29 AM, Fether said:

That's a toughy... I have no idea what that would be like O.o . If marriage is that important to you (which it should be ;) ) maybe move to a college town with a larger YSA? Most large scale colleges have YSA's, and they tend to be better schools where you can achieve a greater education. I would suggest weighing the pros and cons of staying at your community college with going to a larger school. You definitely don't want to lower your standards and start dating those who don't share them. And I personally would not date a girl not of the LDS faith, not because they arn't "good enough", but because I would expect a temple marriage with them and won't settle for less.

Also, if you haven't already, I would encourage serving a mission (If there are medical reasons why you can't than don't worry about it).

I definitely view marriage as a hugely important step in my life, but the issue is with the size of the church out here. Even in YSA wards in the biggest cities, i give it a max of 100, 150 people on a good day. Most youth move to idaho or utah for college because dating is easier, but I have a hard time making that move and am tide down here by other stuuf, like school, finances and family.

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12 hours ago, ALostSoul said:

I definitely view marriage as a hugely important step in my life, but the issue is with the size of the church out here. Even in YSA wards in the biggest cities, i give it a max of 100, 150 people on a good day. Most youth move to idaho or utah for college because dating is easier, but I have a hard time making that move and am tide down here by other stuuf, like school, finances and family.

Have you tried meeting people online?  Not doing the dating online, but just meeting people to date in real life.

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16 hours ago, ALostSoul said:

I definitely view marriage as a hugely important step in my life, but the issue is with the size of the church out here. Even in YSA wards in the biggest cities, i give it a max of 100, 150 people on a good day. Most youth move to idaho or utah for college because dating is easier, but I have a hard time making that move and am tide down here by other stuuf, like school, finances and family.

 

4 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Have you tried meeting people online?  Not doing the dating online, but just meeting people to date in real life.

Not a bad idea, many more people are meeting online now. There are many specialized dating sites. In fact there's several specifically for LDS folks. Also, some of the bigger dating sites have sections by religion. It's worth looking into.

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44 minutes ago, Larry Cotrell said:

 

Not a bad idea, many more people are meeting online now. There are many specialized dating sites. In fact there's several specifically for LDS folks. Also, some of the bigger dating sites have sections by religion. It's worth looking into.

I would just do so with a note of caution.  While they can be a great place to meet folks, 1) if you want a real world relationship, move it to the real world ASAP.  2) Sadly, there are many people who use these sites for un-chaste goals.  Know this before hand, and make clear you're here for the real thing.

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4 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

I would just do so with a note of caution.  While they can be a great place to meet folks, 1) if you want a real world relationship, move it to the real world ASAP.  2) Sadly, there are many people who use these sites for un-chaste goals.  Know this before hand, and make clear you're here for the real thing.

I say if you do that do so with a whole symphony of caution.  That turned out very badly for my older sister.

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11 hours ago, Jane_Doe said:

Have you tried meeting people online?  Not doing the dating online, but just meeting people to date in real life.

I dated online, it's where my wife found me.  (Yes, she found me, I didn't find her, it was way cool) Funny enough, the thought I was a prude at first, I simply later explained that I am LDS, she got bonus points when she told me she was LDS too. Dating her was intimidating, she's one of those women with striking looks, there I was, an awkward Army staff sergeant. The email exchanges were fun, she is witty, sarcastic, things I like. 

One of the things I liked about online was that it expanded greatly the pool of choices in people to meet, as well as weed through the wackos. 

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On 1/7/2017 at 1:14 PM, Jane_Doe said:

Have you tried meeting people online?  Not doing the dating online, but just meeting people to date in real life.

 

On 1/7/2017 at 5:21 PM, Larry Cotrell said:

 

Not a bad idea, many more people are meeting online now. There are many specialized dating sites. In fact there's several specifically for LDS folks. Also, some of the bigger dating sites have sections by religion. It's worth looking into.

Even online, there aren't enough people honestly to make a dating pool. Most members here are either too old, too young or are already married. That leaves a handful of singles between 18 and 24 spread around, active in the church or otherwise, that mostly are too far away to have any prospects. Thought about moving, but I'm both financially and socially tied down to where I am, being in school with a job and family, but not making enough to live on my own, go to school and make the change. Kind of stuck in thinking about what to do honestly. Trying to get along the best I can and figure out how to make the best of the situation, but it's pretty hard.

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14 hours ago, ALostSoul said:

 

Even online, there aren't enough people honestly to make a dating pool. Most members here are either too old, too young or are already married. That leaves a handful of singles between 18 and 24 spread around, active in the church or otherwise, that mostly are too far away to have any prospects. Thought about moving, but I'm both financially and socially tied down to where I am, being in school with a job and family, but not making enough to live on my own, go to school and make the change. Kind of stuck in thinking about what to do honestly. Trying to get along the best I can and figure out how to make the best of the situation, but it's pretty hard.

I think your over thinking this. Pop on over to the most popular free dating website, create your profile, have a funny and sarcastic narrative, make sure to mention you're LDS (I'm not kidding) and unless you prepare a pathetically written profile, simply enjoy the responses from the many LDS ladies there (They're available), make some friends, go out, pick one. It really isn't hard to fill your dance card, I'm here to encourage you. Now, go out and conquer, you're future great LDS wife is waiting for you to make this happen. Don't forget to smile for your profile pictures. Tip, let your sense of humor come out, it really works. 

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