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onyx

The Things Kids Say

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I don't know if anyone has started a thread like this before, but I thought I might give it a try.

Some of the greatest joys in my experience as a parent have come through the things my children have said.

I thought of one this morning that just gave me the giggles all over again:

My husband has the habit of saying "For heavens sakes" whenever he has reached the point of total exasporation (sp?).

We were teaching my daughter (who was 3 at the time) the basics of saying a prayer.

She was having great success managing short prayers.

Anyway, one evening we were sitting down to dinner.

My daughter wanted to be the one to bless the food.

She folded her little arms, closed her eyes, and crinkled her little forehead in concentration.

She then very, very reverently said:

"Dear Heaven Sakes."

You can imagine our mirth!!!

It was extremely difficult not to howl laughing right on the spot.

We controlled ourselves until she finished her lovely little prayer.

Then gently reminded her that we say "Dear Heavenly Father" to start our prayers.

We had a great laugh about it later and still do from time to time.

Do any of you have any funny stories abnout the things the children in your lives have said?

If so, please share.

Thanks....Onyx :D

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One of my child's favorite books was Harold and The Purple Crayon. He was about 4 years old.

We were preparing to have the interior of our house painted so we were moving everything around. I was in his room and decided to look behind the bedroom door for dust since it was always open.

I was very surprised at the drawing on the wall behind the door. It was a purple outline of a ghost with a halo. I asked my child if he wanted this wall painted explaining that the picture would be gone. He said "oh yes, we need all of our walls painted." The painter had a special spray for wall markings and zap, the picture was gone and the wall was painted.

A few months later, I was in his room collecting socks for the laundry and looking for a mate to one. When I looked behind the bedroom door, I was startled to see a purple outline of a ghost with a halo. I never mentioned it to him. But I can tell you that I forgot the sock and left the room. Who cares if the light was left on or not.

Maybe not funny but I thought it was interesting.

I went back into the room again probably a million times or so but I never looked behind the door again.

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I remember a cousin of mine who was 3 at the time was looking through my Diary/Journal. As someone of that age, the most important date is that of your birthday. But yet she always kept forgetting when it was. I showed her the date which also had a birthday cake I had drawn on their as well. She suddenly realized something. She asked me, "Was I born on the same day?" to which I replied "Yes". With much shock she said, " Oh my Gosh, I was born on my birthday."

Never thought of it that way ^_^

Acez

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I think the best one i can remember, a couple years ago, wasn't my kid, but the deacons quorum advisor's kid, i was blessing with another guy that was sporting a beard and wearing sandels (differnt issue i know) but his (DQA) lil girl looked up and the other gent and said "JESUS!" and pointed at him..she was about 2 or 3 at the time and had been learning about Christ.....very hard not to laugh hystaricaly on the stand.....

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I remember a cousin of mine who was 3 at the time was looking through my Diary/Journal. As someone of that age, the most important date is that of your birthday. But yet she always kept forgetting when it was. I showed her the date which also had a birthday cake I had drawn on their as well. She suddenly realized something. She asked me, "Was I born on the same day?" to which I replied "Yes". With much shock she said, " Oh my Gosh, I was born on my birthday."

Never thought of it that way ^_^

Acez

:animatedlol:

Elphie

I don't know if anyone has started a thread like this before, but I thought I might give it a try.

Some of the greatest joys in my experience as a parent have come through the things my children have said.

I thought of one this morning that just gave me the giggles all over again:

My husband has the habit of saying "For heavens sakes" whenever he has reached the point of total exasporation (sp?).

We were teaching my daughter (who was 3 at the time) the basics of saying a prayer.

She was having great success managing short prayers.

Anyway, one evening we were sitting down to dinner.

My daughter wanted to be the one to bless the food.

She folded her little arms, closed her eyes, and crinkled her little forehead in concentration.

She then very, very reverently said:

"Dear Heaven Sakes."

You can imagine our mirth!!!

It was extremely difficult not to howl laughing right on the spot.

We controlled ourselves until she finished her lovely little prayer.

Then gently reminded her that we say "Dear Heavenly Father" to start our prayers.

We had a great laugh about it later and still do from time to time.

Do any of you have any funny stories abnout the things the children in your lives have said?

If so, please share.

Thanks....Onyx :D

Oh Onyx....I have tears in my eyes . . . :animatedlol: What a sweetie!

Elphaba

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When my oldest daughter was in 7th grade and her little brother in 6th they attended a middle school that included 6th, 7th and 8th grades. We had been teaching our kids how to play poker (..i know, i know) and Bryan decided it would be big fun to teach his friends. As we were driving home that day he asked me what the highest hand in poker was. I couldn't quite remember so I said... "I think it's 5 of a kind, but we'll go home and look". Ivy was sitting up in the front seat and was all... "no it's not. The highest hand in poker is weedemanwee". I said "what?!" She looked at me at was all..."you know mom.. whenever somebody has a good hand in the movies or on tv the go like this"... here she gives a great big flourish and says very forcefully... "weedemanwee!!" I had to pull over... once I could finally stop crying I told her that they actually say "read them and weep" :) man I love my kids!!

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Oh my goodess you guys!

I was having a really bad day.

Then I got onto this thread to see how it was coming along.....

Still laughing hysterically.

Like you Elphie....tears in my eyes.

Thanks for the cheering up!!!

Keep 'em coming :D

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Okay, I've told this one before, but most of you are fairly new, so my apologies to those who have already heard this.

When my son was about three, I decided to make a really healthy dinner. I picked some lettuce from" the garden" (veggies that sprang up out of nowhere) and was standing at the sink washing it when my little one came in, looked at the lettuce, and said "What's that?"

I told him it was lettuce for our salad that night. He said "What's a salad?" I explained how I'd cut up the lettuce into little pieces, put it in a bowl, and that was a salad!

He got this incredulous look on his face, pointed to the lettuce and cried out, "We're gonna eat that? (grossed out pause) Plants!?!"

I felt like the worst mother in the world. Keep in mind, he was THREE. :blush:

Elphie

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last night we were making our boys clean their room. the oldest of the group is 6 and has always been a talker (i've said many times he's my sales man or polititan one). but anyway last night hubby and i are putting away clothes listening to his protest about having to clean in the other room with his brother. he then proceeds to tell his little brother (5 yrs)

"I have a plan. you need to pick which one you are going to follow. you can pick mommy and daddy's plan and work forever, for the rest of your life. or you can pick my plan and play and never work again."

(it is absolutely impossible for me to convey here the tone and persuasion he used in his voice.)

hubby and i looked at eachother in disbelief. lol i'm not sure which was more shocking the image those words created or the fact that the was preping his brothers for a mutany against us. lol so i called from the other room, "oh the cunning plan of the advasary." he seemed rather confused so we stopped working and decided it was time for a great bedtime story, all about the pre-existance, and another brother that had "plans".

edit: i can't believe i forgot this part. lol after our story and discussion he then announced to us that when he got really old, he was going to be an apostle. but that he would have to start practicing now cause becoming an apostle isn't easy and will take a lot of practice. we thought that was a much better end to the evening than the plans of mutany against his parents. lol

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ok...I've got two more...

I already told the one about Katie and the big T's outside the "turch", right?

So this one happened within the last year as we were driving to church. My son asked me what some signs of the apocalypse are. His little sister (who's 11 mind you) pipes up with.. "Oh! I know! That's when the moon covers the sun!!!" ... close Katie. so close! :)

This one also happened while driving..I must spend my whole life in the car!! ... Well, as we were leaving church when son was in 1st grade and oldest was in 3rd he told me he couldn't remember why he didn't have school the next day and wanted to know which holiday it was. Before I could even really process what he was saying my know-it-all oldest says with such authority in her voice... "duh! It's Martha Stewart Living Day!" I almost crashed and then had to clarify... not Martha Stewart Living Day,honey, but rather Martin Luther King Jr. Day.... yeah. we were watching WAY too much Martha!! :blink:

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i was playing with my niece who is 2 we were playing the game of "whats this" id point to her nose and her head and her eyes and ask whats this she would promtly reply Nose, Head, Eyes...which ever i was pointing at...i make my way down to her toes and point "whats this" she promtly awnsers "PIGGIES" i died laughing i could only assume that ment that her mother plays this little piggy with her toes, to whitch i was right.

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We were teaching our son the difference between "needs" and "wants".

We explained the normal things like needs are things that we are required to have to function in daily life...(food, water, shelter) things like that.

Wants were things above and beyond the necessities of life.

He came to me a few days later and explained..."Dad, I need a want!"

How do you argue with that?

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My son, who is 8, was learning how to say a blessing on the food. His first try came out:

"Heavenly Father, please bless the food that we may eat it in remembrance of the body of thy son, In the name of Jesus Christ Amen!"

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

He seemed so proud I couldn't burst into laughter and destroy his confidence. We have since corrected the prayer.

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:wacko: My2nd son was 4 when this happened. One morning very early in the morning, he came into my room and said GOOD MORNING MOMMY I'M AWAKE MAY I HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT. Mind you he was eating every 6 hours. so with out really waking up. I told him that his plate of food was in the refrigerator and I go back to sleep. A little while later he was back. I must have twitched or something because again he said GOOD MORNING MOMMY I'M AWAKE! may I watch some tv. I mumbled yes you may but keep the sound low till the rest of us wake up. I go back to sleep. A short while later he's back... again I must have twitched or something because again I hear 'GOOD MORNING MOMMY I'M AWAKE' Mommy the tv's not working right. its got one picture on it on all the channels and will only go BEEEEEEEEP. Mind you this was in Indiana in the 70's, no 24 hour broadcast. Well I this point I wake up (sort of) look around and it is still dark outside. I looked at the precious boy and said quietly The sun is not awake yet go back to bed. BUT MOMMY I'M AWAKE! I know son but you need to lay in your bed till the sun comes up. Now go back to bed. Later I called my MOM and apologized for waking her up at all hours of the night singing. She laughed at me and asked which one. MOTHERS go figure SHARON :blush:

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I feel kind of left out bc my little ones aren't so little anymore they are 23, 20 and 18. So I will work with what I have. :lol::lol:

I have always taught my children to be self reliant and so if you can't find something in the grocery store you ask. My hubby was craving some spicy crackers and so we sent our two youngest to go to the store and pick them up along with a few other things.

We couldn't actually remember the name of the crackers but we thought that they were called NIPS.

So Nick and his little sister went off to the store in search of these crackers and couldn't find them. Nick decided to approach a employee whom he thought might direct him to the crackers. He walked up to this employee and asked "Hey where are your NIPS' The employees mouth dropped at the same time his chin touched his chest and his eyes got huge. YES! He fortunately had asked a guy. The employee replied "where are my NIPS"? Nick said "yeah those crackers". The employees then showed him where the CHEESE NIPS were... LOL :lol:

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I feel kind of left out bc my little ones aren't so little anymore they are 23, 20 and 18. So I will work with what I have. :lol::lol:

I have always taught my children to be self reliant and so if you can't find something in the grocery store you ask. My hubby was craving some spicy crackers and so we sent our two youngest to go to the store and pick them up along with a few other things.

We couldn't actually remember the name of the crackers but we thought that they were called NIPS.

So Nick and his little sister went off to the store in search of these crackers and couldn't find them. Nick decided to approach a employee whom he thought might direct him to the crackers. He walked up to this employee and asked "Hey where are your NIPS' The employees mouth dropped at the same time his chin touched his chest and his eyes got huge. YES! He fortunately had asked a guy. The employee replied "where are my NIPS"? Nick said "yeah those crackers". The employees then showed him where the CHEESE NIPS were... LOL :lol:

this is me wiping away tears!! That was great!!!

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Just days after we found out my wife was pregnant with our third child, my oldest climbed in bed with us over a bad dream. At about 5am, (he having no info about the new pregnancy) sat straight up and exclaimed that we should call our new baby brother, Nic. At that our of morning and under the extremely strange circumstances, neither my wife nor I could argue with his logic. Our third son, Nic is now pushing three and continues to bless our lives with his brothers and sister.

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I have a friend in her late 60's who has two little grandsons (4 & 2).

She loves them dearly and spends as much time with them as possible.

She received a phone call from the oldest boy the other day.

He was extremely excited about some special news.

When he gets very excited, he gets tongue-tied.

He blurted out:

"Grannma Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy!"

"I'm gonna get a new bother!"

Tee hee hee

Onyx

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I feel kind of left out bc my little ones aren't so little anymore they are 23, 20 and 18. So I will work with what I have. :lol::lol:

I have always taught my children to be self reliant and so if you can't find something in the grocery store you ask. My hubby was craving some spicy crackers and so we sent our two youngest to go to the store and pick them up along with a few other things.

We couldn't actually remember the name of the crackers but we thought that they were called NIPS.

So Nick and his little sister went off to the store in search of these crackers and couldn't find them. Nick decided to approach a employee whom he thought might direct him to the crackers. He walked up to this employee and asked "Hey where are your NIPS' The employees mouth dropped at the same time his chin touched his chest and his eyes got huge. YES! He fortunately had asked a guy. The employee replied "where are my NIPS"? Nick said "yeah those crackers". The employees then showed him where the CHEESE NIPS were... LOL :lol:

LOL thatisfunny!!!

Ok, bear with me for this one...no offense meant to anyone..

When I separated from my husband, I arranged for an insurance broker to call at my house to arrange household insurance.

After sitting and explaining the ins and outs, the broker and I were just having general conversation, my son who was 5 at the time walked in and said to the male broker :Would you like to stroke my mum's Pword...for Cat!?

Well, the fella just didn't know what to say!! Good job he was a friend of ours...Danny had been referring to our pet cat Smudge...poor lad! :D

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<div class='quotemain'>

I feel kind of left out bc my little ones aren't so little anymore they are 23, 20 and 18. So I will work with what I have. :lol::lol:

I have always taught my children to be self reliant and so if you can't find something in the grocery store you ask. My hubby was craving some spicy crackers and so we sent our two youngest to go to the store and pick them up along with a few other things.

We couldn't actually remember the name of the crackers but we thought that they were called NIPS.

So Nick and his little sister went off to the store in search of these crackers and couldn't find them. Nick decided to approach a employee whom he thought might direct him to the crackers. He walked up to this employee and asked "Hey where are your NIPS' The employees mouth dropped at the same time his chin touched his chest and his eyes got huge. YES! He fortunately had asked a guy. The employee replied "where are my NIPS"? Nick said "yeah those crackers". The employees then showed him where the CHEESE NIPS were... LOL :lol:

LOL thatisfunny!!!

Ok, bear with me for this one...no offense meant to anyone..

When I separated from my husband, I arranged for an insurance broker to call at my house to arrange household insurance.

After sitting and explaining the ins and outs, the broker and I were just having general conversation, my son who was 5 at the time walked in and said to the male broker :Would you like to stroke my mum's Pword...for Cat!?

Well, the fella just didn't know what to say!! Good job he was a friend of ours...Danny had been referring to our pet cat Smudge...poor lad! :D

This one isn't about my child but my naive mother. If you are easily offended skip it. Sorry if I offend anyone by accident.

She had received a Christmas gift, from my father, of a foot massager. She was very excited and exclaimed "Oh good, a vibrator" :o

The five of us children burst into laughter, but we couldn't tell her why. She had NO idea.

:wow::wow::wow:

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LOL!! The things parents/grandparents say should be a thread on here...

My dad, upon hearing that the use of Cannabis for such painful conditions as arthritis had become legal, went into our local Boots Chemist shop and asked one of the staff if they sold it? LOL..

I think he would have been better off asking one of his grandchildren where they got it from at the time!!!

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This is one of my fondest memories when Nick was small.

Nick must have been three or four when I was bringing him home from pre-school we drove by a cemetary. The cemetary was beautiful covered with flowers because it was close to Memorial Day. Nick studied the cemetary for a minute for asking "mom, that is where they bury dead people, right?" I said "Yes hunny it is". I could see he was processing it and they rather quietly asked, "But how do they turn into FLOWERS"?

Oh, how I love the sweet innocence of a child.

BTW bh82, I hope your Nic brings as much love and joy into your home as our Nick has. :) Also, Welcome To LDS Talk :D

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Today my 4 yr old went to two different museums in our city with his grandmother (my MIL), his aunt (my SIL), and 4 cousins... all of these relatives are LDS. He saw the huge dinosaur skeleton and loudly proclaimed, "HOLY SH#%!"

They were not impressed. Interesting that I've never heard that word come out of his mouth before... not quite sure where he got it. Of course he HAD to save that one for our LDS family! :blush:

Sweet innocence???

JK, my child is sweet as can be, and of course innocent. He just heard something he shouldn't have... probably from his dad who tries, but obviously not hard enough!

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I can't believe I forgot about this.

When my daughter was four, she had a crush on the neighbor boy three doors down, who was also four and so adorable I'm sure he's a heartbreaker today.

Anyway, we were sitting together on the couch talking about him, and I asked her if she was going to marry him.

She said, "Isn't that up to you?"

I said, "Yes. Yes it is."

I still tell her it's up to me, but she doesn't listen to me anymore.

Elphaba

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