The Things Kids Say

[MaidservantX]

LOL, Siouxz.

Well, here's a couple more.

My 1 year old and my 4 year old at the time were in differen stages of learning the language. The littlest one liked to name everything we were doing. She watched me as I cleaned up the floor, putting away big sister's coat and gloves. She commented. "Marta's coat. Marta's hands."

My young son disliked flour tortillas, but liked corn tortillas. One difference is that usually I serve the flour ones cold, and I fry the corn tortillas. As I got ready for lunch one day, he checked to see if we were going to have his favorite tortillas. "Are you going to burn them?" Wait a minute, he thought in his little brain. "Are you going to hot them?" Mommy's laughing by now. Try again. "Are you going to cook them?" All right!

[Captain-Jack]

I'll throw in a story from my youth. I, being quite the geek/nerd, loved our nintendo. When I was about 5 or 6, I'd wake up early, around 5:30 am, just to play Super Mario Brothers. I remember one Christmas I got a new video game, Super Metroid, and I wanted to make sure that the nintendo would keep working for the 12+ hours a day it was running between me and my brothers. So in a prayer I asked that the nintendo would be blessed to keep working. I think it lasted another 5 years or so. Go figure.

[Abraham]

In the name of Jewish rice. You can guess where that came from.

Abraham

[breeb]

I'm late to this thread, but I have a 2 year old (my oldest, so Im new at this parenting thing). We always count to 3 before putting him in time out. One day I started counting I only got to 1. Then my little angel looked at me with that angry face turning red with frustration, and yelled "two free!!!" One part of me wanted to smack his little bum, but the other part of me wanted to shout for joy. That was the first time he's ever counted on his own.:)

[melissar]

My six year old asked me if all his bones were taken out, would he turn into a snake. I could not help but laugh.

[melissar]

Also when my son Joshua was 3, my mother had come to visit. As she was preparing to leave, Joshua grabbed her hand, looked at me and said "Tell Daddy I'm going to 'Zona.

[MaidservantX]

"Can I wear makeup when I'm ten?" my daughter asked me. "No," I answered. "Can I wear makeup when I'm twenty?" I gasped. "Uh . . . honey, when you're twenty you can have a baby!"

When the two year old has an owie, she complains of a "dinosore". She's completely serious and doesn't understand the joke. "Mommy, I have a dinosore . . ."

My husband was a frequent volunteer at my four year old son's pre-school. Our son was so happy to have Dad there. Meanwhile, I was busy with work and school, so I was only able to come to his class once at the end of the year. My son was a little cautious about this. "I think only Daddy's can come," he said.

[these are some I wrote down several years ago when my teenagers were small. The four year old is now 13 ]

[Gwen]

i got a load of self confidance from my 4 yr old this last week.

my 4 yr old has been telling me for the last month when the baby comes it's "going to clack out like an egg" though i kinda felt that way, i explained to him that ppl don't crack like eggs, birds etc lay eggs. i'm not sure what he invisioned happening but he kept saying it. he also loved to touch my stomach alot and feel the baby move. he really enjoyed that.

so anyway, had the baby this last week and he came to see me in the hospital. he looked at and held the baby, was quite excited. then he climed up in the bed with me and we were talking he looked at me and said "your tummy is still big" so feeling much better about myself lol i said to him, "yes, that will take some time, but the baby isn't inside anymore" he then proceeded to press all over my tummy and push (i guess confirming that it really wasn't there), "it's squishy" was all he had to say. he sat there for a few min. just pressing on my tummy and then looking at the baby, back and forth. he did it again the next day lol i guess he's finally figured it out cause he isn't doing it anymore.

i guess i can't blame him much for being confused there are moments i sit (did with the others too) and look at the baby and think about how amazing the whole concept is. it was inside of me last week and here it is.... it is amazing.

[Hemidakota]

I don't know if anyone has started a thread like this before, but I thought I might give it a try.

Some of the greatest joys in my experience as a parent have come through the things my children have said.

I thought of one this morning that just gave me the giggles all over again:

My husband has the habit of saying "For heavens sakes" whenever he has reached the point of total exasporation (sp?).

We were teaching my daughter (who was 3 at the time) the basics of saying a prayer.

She was having great success managing short prayers.

Anyway, one evening we were sitting down to dinner.

My daughter wanted to be the one to bless the food.

She folded her little arms, closed her eyes, and crinkled her little forehead in concentration.

She then very, very reverently said:

"Dear Heaven Sakes."

You can imagine our mirth!!!

It was extremely difficult not to howl laughing right on the spot.

We controlled ourselves until she finished her lovely little prayer.

Then gently reminded her that we say "Dear Heavenly Father" to start our prayers.

We had a great laugh about it later and still do from time to time.

Do any of you have any funny stories abnout the things the children in your lives have said?

If so, please share.

Thanks....Onyx

All I can say is thanks for starting threads like this. I am always amazed at the children today and what is taught by the mouths of babes.

[MorningStar]

Gwen, that is so cute! My aunt had someone point that out to her, but it was her mother who said it and she had 8 kids! I guess she forgot about the whole tummy still being there after the baby thing. My aunt was a bit annoyed about it and when she told me sister, my sister said, "I would've said, 'I see you still have your big hairy mole!'" Cracked my aunt up.

Anyway, this is the funny thing my 5-year-old did this morning. Sometimes when he gets off the bus, he has a flower he has picked for me. Today when I got him off the bus he said, "WAIT MOM! I HAVE A FLOWER FOR YOU!" Then he laughed as he ran past me saying, "I tricked you!" He was trying to stall me because he wanted to be first inside.

[Traveler]

A few weeks ago my wife and I visited our daughters home to help celebrate a grandson’s 5th birthday. Our son-in-law is attending law school while living in an intellectual community. One of the young 5 year olds attending the party is attending a progressive pre-school where he is learning to read. His parents encourage him demonstrating his superior abilities compared to other children.

As my grandson opened a present he looked at the Dr. Seuss book and set it aside to open another gift. The advanced student picked up the book and started to read aloud the title. Slowly he sounded out “H-o-r-t-o-n” then he continued “h-a-s a”. Well I thought, the kid is good but not without flaw. Then he completed his task slowly saying “Ho”

I was going to say something to the parents but decided the better of it.

The Traveler

[Ladybug]

I was picking up my daughter from school when she announced to the class that I was going to have a baby. I was so very proud of her for making the connections, as my husband and I have been talking to her about the baby. But then she said that I was going to burp and the baby come out!

[kathysmike]

When my son was 4 years old, he was talk talking to my wife(his step mother) and pointed out very clearly that she was not his mom, but his Step Down.

A year or two later he was into reading signs along the road, as we appo]roached a La-z-Boy store he very proudly exclaimed La zee Boy.

[MaidservantX]

Here are some old ones I wrote down in my journal:

This summer we took a vacation where most of the driving was through Utah. One of our destinations was the town of Spanish Fork. Weary daughter asked, "When are we going to get to Pitch Fork?"

I had told our children that our new baby would be coming after Christmas. (I was due sometime in January.) On Christmas morning, after all the unwrapping of presents, small son said, "Are you going to the hospital now?" The next day after attending church, he wanted to make sure: "Are you going to the hospital now?"

This morning, three-year- old daughter was getting bundled up to play outside. We were working on the mittens. The first try didn't go so well. "Woops!" she said. "I didn't get my fun in there!" [my fun = my thumb]

[MaidservantX]

More from the journal:

Overheard: Three-year-old girl correcting her little friend in the usage of pronouns referring to the newborn baby brother. "It's not a her! He's a she!"

These same two little girls love to play house. They always take turns being the mother or father. "Do you want to be the 'honey' or the 'mommy'?" I heard one say.

This youngest daughter of mine has a real trial in the hour long family church services. Last week, she was especially weary of the minutes that seemed to go on and on. She said to me in a whine: "I don't want to go to church too much."

My five year old son has learned the oeprate the CD player and loves to play his favorite music. One day, he said he was going to play the "I Want To" song. I wondered what he was talking about. I listened and pretty soon I heard the band leader count off the beat: "A-wahn [one], two . . . !"

Just today this son reported to me that in talking to his little brother -- "Mom, I said 'hi' in Baby English."

[Tough Grits]

I was driving home the other day from school with the kids.

My daughter says: "Mom, why are all men made in China? I didn't know Daddy was from China."

I had NO clue what she was talking about.

Me: "Who said men were made in China?"

Daughter: "That's what it says on the bottom of my shoe."

Me: "Read me exactly what the bottom of your shoe says."

Daughter: "All Man-Made In China."

I then had to explain what man-made meant. :lol:

[pam]

About 10 years ago we took a family vacation. We were driving through Arizona and my son (then 7 noticed cactus growing everywhere. Everywhere he looked that's what he saw. Anyway we passed a little memorial set up along the side of the freeway...he asked about it and I explained that someone had died and his family was remembering him/her. He said okay...we drove several miles down the road and my son said...."Mom...I think that person was killed by a cactus."

Maybe you had to have been there but it was hilarious at the time. hahahaha

[Iggy]

I was driving home the other day from school with the kids.

My daughter says: "Mom, why are all men made in China? I didn't know Daddy was from China."

I had NO clue what she was talking about.

Me: "Who said men were made in China?"

Daughter: "That's what it says on the bottom of my shoe."

Me: "Read me exactly what the bottom of your shoe says."

Daughter: "All Man-Made In China."

I then had to explain what man-made meant. :lol:

If your children were my niece and nephew I would be blogging constantly, just to make sure that I captured the things they said and did.

They are a hoot- Grits. NOT Heathens, Hoots!

Once when my best friends daughter came in from playing, all she had on was her panties. We asked her where her clothes were and she just lifted her chin up and huffed at us. She was about 5 at the time.

I told her she better go get her clothes and get in here so I can wash you down and bring some order to your fly away hair - again she lifted her chin and me and harrumphed. I put my hands on my hips and asked her in a stern voice: Did you hear me you little rag a muffin? Her eyes got hugh and she ran into the other room yelling at her mom- Auntie called me a ragged mutton, and she said I had flieshair - I DO NOT have flieshair. Mommy, whats flieshair anyway?

[dvdreviewergal]

A few weeks ago was our eight-year-old son Justin's "Field Day" at school, where the students have a full day outside playing team games. Parents were welcome to attend. We had fun. Boy was I tired when we got home. But Justin kept on going... presumably also due to the excitement of the school year coming to an end.

Later that evening in the car, his dad inquired about field day at school. Justin was still full speed ahead and was more than happy to tell about the days events, talking at auctioneer speed along with the hand, arm and body motions of a kid who was excited and had a lot to tell.

Suddenly there was silence in the car. A quick look in the rear view mirror revealed Justin was reading the back of the sunscreen lotion bottle. We delighted in the silence for just a moment.

Then with enthusiasm, Justin blurted out from the back seat, "Ahhhh ha! I know why I am so hyper! They put ACTIVE ingredients in this sunscreen!"

[Gwen]

we were watching a tv show that said something about a guardian angel and my son (4 yrs old) asked "what is a guardian angel?" i told him someone heavenly father sends to help you. he replied "daddy is my guardian angel!"

[Dr T]

My daughter started calling having to go to the bathroom or pee, "peep." If some people call it "poop" then I guess "peep" will work for pee in her mind.

[Gwen]

that's funny, my daughter (about to turn 3) says peep for pee too. lol

one of my favorites, all of mine have said it, "willn't" (will not)

[mightynancy]

The scene: In the car with my son, passing a construction site. The site's sign boasts, "Coming soon: Walgreen's!"

Mom: Another Walgreen's? They're everywhere!

Jake: Yeah, they're multiplying like rats.

Mom: Rabbits.

Jake: Mormons.

That kid doesn't miss a beat!

[siouxz72]

hahaha!! That kids is funny! and I'm his Auntie! Lucky me!

Here's one from Katie (12yo) just the other day... We were in the car and she was talking to her Daddy on the cell phone while he was on his way to the gym...She says, "Oh Daddy, you don't need to lose weight...you're not oh-beast!"

[Heckya]

A while back I took my three kids ages 5, 3 and 18 months to the doctors for immunizations. The older two are boys and the youngest is my little girl. Anyhow, my 5 year old freaked out when it was his turn. (His little brother went first, but his sister was going last because she had a bundle of shots to receive.) He tried to hide under the chair, almost kicked the nurse....the embarrassing behavior we all dread. Suddenly, he says, "But mom, it's ladies first." The nurse just about dropped the shots she was laughing so hard.