Skipping Elders Quorum


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We recently (about 5 months ago) had a complete change in our elders quorum presidency. The prior president was awesome! He was inspiring, very genuine, taught awesome lessons, and genuinely cared for us. His counselors were equally as awesome. The new presidency is anything BUT inspiring. They are for the most part ambivalent, they do not seem to create any type of motivation, and they definitely do not give the impression of supporting anyone in the quorum. I find myself skipping elders quorum because I feel I am not getting anything from it. The lessons are dry, the president appears to lack in actually giving the impression of caring about us. I had an incident that required the EQ president's help and sent an e-mail outlining what I needed...he ignored it and within 20 minutes sent an e-mail to the EQ asking us to move chairs. So I know he understands how to use e-mail. 

 Anyway-I feel bad for skipping EQ weekly-but honestly I gave it a shot and felt like I was being held hostage for an hour. Does anyone else have this issue-have they had this issue and how can I best deal with it. In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me...but I could really use some input.  

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(Warning: Blunt reply inbound.)

47 minutes ago, Danielsan said:

I find myself skipping elders quorum because I feel I am not getting anything from it.

And what are you giving to it?  Which presidency needed / needs your support more?  Did you or did you not raise your arm to the square in a sustaining vote?  (That vote being about you, not about them.)

49 minutes ago, Danielsan said:

In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me...but I could really use some input.  

Humble yourself.  Pray.  Follow the example and teachings of the Savior.

I think only someone there could give you specifics, but I have a testimony that we are blessed when we obey priesthood counsel, keep the commandments, and attend all our meetings.  Others are also blessed by these things.  I also have a testimony that the Lord has power to change our attitudes and perception, and that our own preparation and spiritual attitude have more to do with what we experience in our Sunday meetings than other people do.  We choose what feelings to let linger and which to cast out and replace with something more worthy.

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5 hours ago, Danielsan said:

We recently (about 5 months ago) had a complete change in our elders quorum presidency. The prior president was awesome! He was inspiring, very genuine, taught awesome lessons, and genuinely cared for us. His counselors were equally as awesome. The new presidency is anything BUT inspiring. They are for the most part ambivalent, they do not seem to create any type of motivation, and they definitely do not give the impression of supporting anyone in the quorum. I find myself skipping elders quorum because I feel I am not getting anything from it. The lessons are dry, the president appears to lack in actually giving the impression of caring about us. I had an incident that required the EQ president's help and sent an e-mail outlining what I needed...he ignored it and within 20 minutes sent an e-mail to the EQ asking us to move chairs. So I know he understands how to use e-mail. 

 Anyway-I feel bad for skipping EQ weekly-but honestly I gave it a shot and felt like I was being held hostage for an hour. Does anyone else have this issue-have they had this issue and how can I best deal with it. In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me...but I could really use some input.  

This is like when you find out your favorite teacher is going to be replaced. I do understand that you are probably upset a the recent change but calling the new presidency "anything but inspiring" is quite harsh don't you think?. Particularly, when they have been in the calling for just 5 months. Give them your support, ask them what they need, offer suggestions! (there is nothing stopping you from doing that) after all you *are* part of the Quorum. :) Come on, give them a chance. Do not compare them with the old presidency, it is not fair. You'll be okay. :)

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Guest MormonGator
2 hours ago, Danielsan said:

We recently (about 5 months ago) had a complete change in our elders quorum presidency. The prior president was awesome! He was inspiring, very genuine, taught awesome lessons, and genuinely cared for us. His counselors were equally as awesome. The new presidency is anything BUT inspiring. They are for the most part ambivalent, they do not seem to create any type of motivation, and they definitely do not give the impression of supporting anyone in the quorum. I find myself skipping elders quorum because I feel I am not getting anything from it. The lessons are dry, the president appears to lack in actually giving the impression of caring about us. I had an incident that required the EQ president's help and sent an e-mail outlining what I needed...he ignored it and within 20 minutes sent an e-mail to the EQ asking us to move chairs. So I know he understands how to use e-mail. 

 Anyway-I feel bad for skipping EQ weekly-but honestly I gave it a shot and felt like I was being held hostage for an hour. Does anyone else have this issue-have they had this issue and how can I best deal with it. In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me...but I could really use some input.  

 Bro-we can hang out together, I know exactly how you feel. While I don't have an answer for you, just know that you aren't alone. Sending prayers and love.  

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I once attended a ward in the nations capital in which the RS presidency spoke mainly to each other but:

I was inactive and not really interested in the material. I just went to drive a lonely lady to church

i did not have or read the manual (didn't know there was a manual!)

no one spoke to me

Very few people spoke to me period sooo if I see someone new, I always say HI and introduce myself! In RS, we greet strangers. We encourage everyone to contribute eg scan the room and ask people what they think every 10 minutes. Buzz groups are helpful. 

Do they use Buzz groups in priesthood?

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Daniel, so sorry that is frustrating. I'm not going to give you advice what to do. :)  But I do want to share something:

Yesterday I was in Relief Society and we were talking about Gratitude on the Sabbath.  Sisters said the Sabbath re-charges them for the week, and I sat there thinking, "Much of the time I find church quite draining."  I used to feel the way those other sisters do, but I don't now, and I don't know how to get that back.  so I prayed about it, just telling Heavenly Father that I was sorry for my attitude and asking what to do.  I got this wonderful feeling of love and acceptance.  I felt strongly that the Lord loves me and He knows why I feel the way I do.  I felt that I am not "bad" and neither are the other sisters....we are just very different, and that's okay.  

I also want to mention....when Joseph Smith was discouraged, the Lord gave him D&C 121 and 122, which many people find comforting...I don't.  When Lazarus died, the Lord's response to Mary was very different than what He gave to Joseph,  Mary said, "If you had been there my brother would not have died."  Jesus' response was to weep with her.  Two very different responses, for different people, at different times

So I guess I do have some advice...pray about it.  I know that sounds like a cop out answer, but I really believe it.  I don't know if the Lord will answer you like He did Joseph, or Mary, or perhaps something else entirely.  But one thing for sure, is that He knows your heart and loves you and He will know what you need.  

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When I notice one thing that was done incorrectly, I try to see all the other things that were done correctly.  Then I'd always ask myself, "Could I do a better job if I were called to that position?"  99% of the time, the answer is no.  So when I start seeing myself complaining about others' performance of their callings, I try to be more understanding of someone who I believe is doing as well as he can with what he knows how to do.

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I have a confession.  I don't like our Gospel Doctrine class.  So, I attend Gospel Principles.

Unfortunately, you don't have the option of attending a different class for EQ.  Maybe you can ask for a calling with the Young Men program or go volunteer to teach over there.

But yeah, I think there are better ways to deal with EQ than skipping if you can't go to a different class for that hour.  Like, Gospel Principles for the 7th time becomes boring if it just glosses over the same stuff.  But, we have some other people who attend Gospel Principles when they should be in Gospel Doctrine too.  So, when there are no investigators attending, we make the class lively by intense class participation.  So, yesterday, for example, the class was about The Holy Ghost... and we ended up talking about 9/11 and how the Holy Spirit inspired some people to stay home so did that mean that the Holy Spirit left other good people to perish?  We didn't want the class to end when the bell rang.

Edited by anatess2
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Terrible EQ teacher?  Three words for you: Tablet LAN Party.  Nothing is quite as much fun as pretending to be following the lesson when, in reality, you are offing your neighbor with a virtual rocket in a video game.  It's like the late 90s all over again! :)  (I am joking, this is terrible advice and is probably breaking the Sabbath, among other things, but it was kind of a fad in one of my past Elders' Quorums with chronically unprepared teachers.  I found it to be quite hilarious and absolutely horrible at the same time).

Seriously, you should try and get what you can out of the lessons and support the Elders' Quorum.  Like all other things in the gospel, you will be blessed for doing the right thing, especially when it is difficult and/or no fun.

 And EQ teachers out there, let this thread be a lesson to you - please actually prepare to teach, as opposed to just having people sit there and read the lesson paragraph by paragraph (those are the worst).

Besides, you never know when the teacher may surprise you and suddenly say something very inspirational!

Edited by DoctorLemon
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1 hour ago, DoctorLemon said:

 a virtual rocket in a video game... this is terrible advice and is probably breaking the Sabbath, among other things,

Breaking the Sabbath?!?  What?!?!  Did my wife tell you something?

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Hey, I taught the HPG on Sunday. The topic was the nature of God's love. Seemed to go pretty well, actually. I really enjoy the HPG, not necessarily more than I enjoyed the EQ, but I think the conversations are more consistently at a more intimate and perhaps "deeper" level, without all the speculation and nonsense, more barebones. Plus the high council chairs are much more comfortable than the metal folding chairs.

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I know how you feel and of course the best thing to do is stay in class. If you are not getting anything out of it maybe you should look at it from a different perspective and ask yourself what can you add to the class. Keep in mind that the new way of teaching sunday school and auxiliary classes are for students to teach each other and the teacher to primarily be a facilitator, so if the lessons are boring then its probably because the students are not speaking up to create a better discussion.

I know it might be hard but try using that EQ class as a way for you to practice turning your negative energy into positive energy. My current EQ presidency is similar to yours and I too have felt like skipping class a few months ago then I noticed that a few of the newer EQ members and one of the new converts were always enjoying themselves in EQ class and its because they have no expectations where as I was here sitting in my little corner comparing the new presidency to previous presidencies and creating a negative energy.

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Guest LiterateParakeet
2 hours ago, priesthoodpower said:

If you are not getting anything out of it maybe you should look at it from a different perspective and ask yourself what can you add to the class.

This, in part, is how i resolved my issue with Relief Society and Sunday School.  I fear that the teachers now dread when I raise my hand though, LOL.  Here's an example.  

Teacher: Heavenly Father gives us trials to help us grow.

Then I raise my hand and say: While that may be true in some circumstances, we need to remember that Heavenly Father does not "give" us rape, abuse, murder, or genocide.  

Awkward silence for a moment.  

I know it gives people comfort to think that all our trials are God-given to help us grow, but that is just not the case.  Sometimes bad things happen because we live in a fallen world.  Christ can help us work through them in turn them to our benefit, yes, but He and Father do not cause them.  Unfortunately, this whole line of conversation seems to make others very uncomfortable.  

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Danielsan,

Nice name :) 
 

Quote

 In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me

Since you already recognize at least part of the problem is within you and since you're asking for practical advice, you're on the right track!! 

God is aware of your situation.  Just last conference President Uchtdorf said: "Considering all of this, how could it ever be possible that we of all people would not be excited about attending our Church worship services? ... Too often we let ourselves be distracted by the imperfections of our fellow members..."

Like others have said, a presidency that is hard to sustain usually needs more sustaining.  Here are some things you can do:

  • First thing is to resolve that you will go to quorum meeting.  You'll be blessed for being there.  ("do you strive to attend your ... priesthood meetings?")
  • Next, pray that you can make the quorum meeting better for everyone and then look for ways to try.  There may be other quorum members who are also struggling with these guys or with other things.  Add humor, get to know some of your brothers better, help a father caring for a young child, contribute to lessons, volunteer to teach, etc.  Also pray for charity toward your presidency.  They might be feeling pretty inadequate knowing they aren't as good as so-and-so.  From personal experience, I know it can be dreadful being up in front of a class as a teacher when things are dry and boring.  If there's anything you can offer to help, please help!
  • Finally -- as a last resort if you're sitting in class and it's extremely boring and the teacher isn't allowing class participation, just start studying the lesson on your own.  This has worked for me before.  I was blessed for being where I was supposed to be, and I received spiritual nourishment and didn't feel like I wasted the hour.  However, for the sake of your fellow quorum members hopefully your class allows participation and you can find even small ways to help.

I wish you the best.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 10 months later...

Concerning skipping Elders Quorum -  Do not forsake the gathering together of believers....  Hebrews 10:25

You can help them by remembering to pray for them:   I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;  2 Timothy 2:1-3

You stated that you have find the lessons to be to be "dry".  Would it be helpful to you if you taught a lesson from time to time?  I'm not being snide, but I enjoy the times that I teach and often find that I am discovering a deeper understanding to the principal when I have to do the research instead of having someone give me the lesson.  I imagine if you were teaching on a semi-regular basis that a lot of the "dryness" you feel will evaporate.  :)

As other stated, look for ways for you to give back to Elders Quorum. If you notice someone absent, perhaps you could be the one to make the calls to see if they are okay.  Offer to give the opening or closing prayer.  Offer to lead the singing of hymns. Or whatever way you can find to give back.  

The Mormon Church provides so many opportunities for members to be involved in the spiritual growth of our church through our callings.  Take advantage of them.  If you aren't given one then find a void that needs to be filled and fill it. Not only will you be helping others in their relationship with Christ, but you will find your faith growing in ways you cannot imagine!  

"....One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.” 

 

May God bless you and keep you!

 

 

Edited by warnerfranklin
Added quote from Elder Uchtdorf
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  • 2 months later...
On 2/27/2017 at 4:19 AM, Sunday21 said:

IWe encourage everyone to contribute eg scan the room and ask people what they think every 10 minutes. Buzz groups are helpful. 

Do they use Buzz groups in priesthood?

What is a buzz group? (Why does this sound like something that may bring someone like me apprehension)

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On 2/26/2017 at 2:07 PM, Danielsan said:

We recently (about 5 months ago) had a complete change in our elders quorum presidency. The prior president was awesome! He was inspiring, very genuine, taught awesome lessons, and genuinely cared for us. His counselors were equally as awesome. The new presidency is anything BUT inspiring. They are for the most part ambivalent, they do not seem to create any type of motivation, and they definitely do not give the impression of supporting anyone in the quorum. I find myself skipping elders quorum because I feel I am not getting anything from it. The lessons are dry, the president appears to lack in actually giving the impression of caring about us. I had an incident that required the EQ president's help and sent an e-mail outlining what I needed...he ignored it and within 20 minutes sent an e-mail to the EQ asking us to move chairs. So I know he understands how to use e-mail. 

 Anyway-I feel bad for skipping EQ weekly-but honestly I gave it a shot and felt like I was being held hostage for an hour. Does anyone else have this issue-have they had this issue and how can I best deal with it. In my heart-I know that likely the problem is me...but I could really use some input.  

I'm struggling with the new arrangement for EQ a bit. The setting is less intimate. There are more "authority" figures in there. We're in a larger "colder" room (cultural hall). And there are a bunch of old fogeys in there with their old fogey comments. It is much harder to get involved and get into the spirit of things.

The course of action I will take: Try. Try. Try.

I won't give up. Why would you give up?

Raise your hand more. Get involved. Get off your phone and listen. Be engaged. Etc., etc.

Giving up hurts one person. You.

Fight for it man!

Your exaltation is in your hands and your hands alone. (No one should misunderstand this comment to diminish the role of the Savior -- but he, having paid for our sins, puts in our hands and our hands alone as to whether we accept that through our repentance and obedience.)

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On 2/27/2017 at 1:24 PM, Vort said:

Hey, I taught the HPG on Sunday. The topic was the nature of God's love. Seemed to go pretty well, actually. I really enjoy the HPG, not necessarily more than I enjoyed the EQ, but I think the conversations are more consistently at a more intimate and perhaps "deeper" level, without all the speculation and nonsense, more barebones. Plus the high council chairs are much more comfortable than the metal folding chairs.

I find just the opposite in my ward. All the speculation and nonsense in our ward is in the HPG.

Not that there wasn't some nonsense in EQ. But...

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On ‎4‎/‎16‎/‎2018 at 7:21 PM, The Folk Prophet said:

I find just the opposite in my ward. All the speculation and nonsense in our ward is in the HPG.

Not that there wasn't some nonsense in EQ. But...

I was in with the new Elders Quorum on Sunday.  I didn't really see any speculation or nonsense from anyone (maybe it's the ward).  I did notice that the Elders tended to be quieter and it was mostly the older Elders (originally known as the High Priest Group) that spoke more during the conversation.

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