Decaf Coffee

[anatess2]

9 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

I get the gist of what you're saying but I don't understand some of it. What's sabbath observance? I don't have a calling so can't be diligent about it. I do go to Sunday school at church but that's about it for scripture study. And tbh I have little understanding what a testimony is. Everyone keeps talking about a "testimony" but no-one explains what it is

May I ask if you speak a different language?  Maybe it is a language barrier issue.  Testimony and Sabbath are pretty basic LDS teachings so you must have been taught these by the missionaries before you got baptized and just didn't realize it.

Sabbath Observance = Making Sunday a Holy Day.

Testimony = When you went through your Baptismal Interview, you were asked, "Do you believe in God?".  You answered Yes.  Why did you answer Yes?  The answer to that question is your testimony of God.  You were asked, "Do you believe in the Book of Mormon?"  You answered Yes.  Why did you answer Yes?  The answer to that question is your testimony of The Book of Mormon.  You were asked, "Do you believe that Joseph Smith, Jr., and now President Monson, is a true prophet of God?"  You answered Yes.  Why did you answer Yes?  The answer to that question is your testimony of Joseph Smith and the latter-day Prophets.  Do you understand?

Callings = ask your bishop for one.  If you're male, ask your EQ President for a Home Teaching route.  If you're female, ask your RS President for a Visiting Teaching route.

Scripture Study = Study the Scriptures EVERYDAY.  Pick a book to study.  Say, you choose to study the Book of Mormon.  Start with 1 Nephi, Chapter 1.  Study it, not just read it.  You can use this for a study guide.

 

Edited March 14, 2017 by anatess2

[zil]

13 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

That makes lifelong members borderline suspicious sometimes of the ones that have stayed in the church. Think converts have to accept that we'll probably never 100% fit in-some lifelong members will always view us as "lesser" in some way.

This has NOT been my experience anywhere that I have lived, and I have been in LOTS of wards over the years.  IMO, this is more limited to specific regions, and the members in those regions need to repent, ASAP.

Further, I believe that the majority of active members are glad for converts and do NOT view them as lesser in any way, shape, or form.

Truly, Gator, I think your experience is both tragic and anomalous.

[Guest MormonGator]

1 minute ago, zil said:

This has NOT been my experience anywhere that I have lived, and I have been in LOTS of wards over the years.  IMO, this is more limited to specific regions, and the members in those regions need to repent, ASAP.

Further, I believe that the majority of active members are glad for converts and do NOT view them as lesser in any way, shape, or form.

Truly, Gator, I think your experience is both tragic and anomalous.

It very well could be, for sure. I'm not sure if you are a covert-I should know, after all with you being wife number 2-9. 

It might be a "touchy" subject because life long members will take it as an insult to the church or them (it isn't) and converts will feel like they can't bring anything up. So communication might go down. In my view, there should be no such thing as a "touchy" subject. Communication, even if it's unpleasant, is key. 

[anatess2]

42 minutes ago, zil said:

This has NOT been my experience anywhere that I have lived, and I have been in LOTS of wards over the years.  IMO, this is more limited to specific regions, and the members in those regions need to repent, ASAP.

Further, I believe that the majority of active members are glad for converts and do NOT view them as lesser in any way, shape, or form.

Truly, Gator, I think your experience is both tragic and anomalous.

This has not been my experience either.  Although I've only lived in 3 wards.  The 1st counselor to the bishop in our ward was a convert of less than 5 years until he moved to a different ward in a different stake, then he became the 1st counselor to the bishop in that ward.

The son of our Stake President who is a recently returned missionary married a convert of less than a year who was a teen mom who is recently divorced from her ex-husband who is not the father of her child.  They couldn't get married in the temple because she's a recent convert.  They moved into our ward last month and it's like she and her son has always lived in our ward. 

Edited March 14, 2017 by anatess2

[Guest LiterateParakeet]

I think what you are feeling is normal, but it doesn't have to be this way. Remember the feeling you had when you decided to join the church? You can feel the Spirit like that mow too, but you have  make an effort. I think its like that anytime we try to make a big change in our lives. We need to remind ourself why we did it

 For example, I decided to make some serious changes to my lifestyle  (diet) a couple months ago. I wanted this to be a lasting change and I was afraid that in a weak moment I might just binge on ice cream and chocolate. So I made a point to read or watch something daily about my new lifestyle. I've been through several books and documentaries now. And I'm not stopping any time soon, because this is important to me.

I believe this is why we are counseled by our leaders to read our scriptures daily, and attend church meetings weekly. We need those reminders.

As I live my new lifestyle, I feel more energy, and my health is improving. If you commit to seek the Spirit by reading scriptures, praying, attending church etc. You will feel the Spirit. The more of an effort we make to draw closer to God, the more we can feel His influence in our lives.  Give it a try, you won't regret it.

About the decaf coffee, personally I wouldn't worry about it. You were trying to make a good choice  (good job!) and you aren't planning to continue. 

[Guest MormonGator]

It's not how all members/wards treat converts of course, and it's now how all converts feel. But I have heard from lifelong members that many  new converts "burn out" after a short time, and I've heard from many converts that they feel like how myself and the OP are describing. Perhaps they don't share their feelings. 

[Jane_Doe]

10 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

I know. It's been real hard so far trying to fit in. I still don't feel like it's "my" church yet. I feel like I don't belong and I still get nervous going there. I'm wondering if this is normal and how long it lasts for. I read that when new converts stop going most stop within 2 months. I can kind of understand why because for me it's very hard joining this church and sometimes I just miss my old life  

Feeling nervous around a group of new people?  It is 159% normal.  The way to overcome the nerves is simply to go and get to know people.  Learning and growing in Christ is a essential part of being reborn in Him.  A couple of things that can help (I'm posting a bunch of ideas here.  Don't feel like don't have to go and do everything at once, it's just a list of possibilities) -

 

Sacrament meeting is focused on preaching God's words, a great place to learn the Gospel and partake of His Supper.  

After Sacrament meeting is, Sunday School.  There's even a class specifically designed for discussing things among other members.  There's a class specifically designed for new members, that's usually a very small group of people (<10) where you can chat, talk about your walk with Christ, and learn knew things.  Even reading the manual is really good.  You can read/listen/download the manual free here https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles?lang=eng

After Sunday School is Relief Society (aka women's meeting).  That is typically VERY chatty, and a great place to get to know people.  

Scripture reading- obviously reading God's words is very important.  You can read it out of the book (do you have one?  If not, we'll point you to a free one).  If you'd rather listen to it, you can do that as well (free download here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/formats?lang=eng) 

Prayer!!!  Always pray!!!  Heavenly Father is YOUR Father and wants to talk to you!  Tell Him your concerns, your joys, and share with you His wisdom! 

 

 

 

[Jane_Doe]

9 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Not shopping or cleaning up my place on Sundays is still a bit strange to me. Can I still catch up with friends or family on Sundays? Or play sport? (Because church only takes up 3 hours at the most). Thank you for your help

Of course!  The point is simply to have a God-centered day of rest.  If playing a sport or hanging out with friends is restful, then of course it's part of the Sabbath!  Heck, my Sabbath involves cooking a big meal with my daughter, cause we really enjoy that time together.  (And my husband who cooks the other 6 nights of the week enjoys his Sabbath by not having to cook).  

[zil]

1 hour ago, MormonGator said:

It might be a "touchy" subject because life long members will take it as an insult to the church or them (it isn't) and converts will feel like they can't bring anything up. So communication might go down. In my view, there should be no such thing as a "touchy" subject. Communication, even if it's unpleasant, is key. 

It may be, I don't know (I tend to think "touchy" is for children).  What I do know is that any member who judges any of their brothers or sisters, in or out of the church, to be "lesser" is in danger of hell fire.  The end.  Age should temper anyone's tendencies to judge as experience teaches that we are all beggars.  Unfortunately, some may refuse to learn that lesson, and when such people join together, it's disastrous.

Your soul and @Smallfootsteps' soul (and everyone else's) are as valuable in the sight of God as any other soul.

Edited March 14, 2017 by zil

[Guest MormonGator]

7 minutes ago, zil said:

It may be, I don't know (I tend to think "touchy" is for children). 

We totally agree on that, but not everyone else does sadly. 

7 minutes ago, zil said:

  What I do know is that any member who judges any of their brothers or sisters, in or out of the church, to be "lesser" is in danger of hell fire.  The end.  Age should temper anyone's tendencies to judge as experience teaches that we are all beggars.  Unfortunately, some may refuse to learn that lesson, and when such people join together, it's disastrous

Amen! 

7 minutes ago, zil said:

 

Your soul and @Smallfootsteps' soul (and everyone else's) are as great in the sight of God as any other soul.

Very sweet of you to say! Thanks! 

Edited March 14, 2017 by MormonGator

[anatess2]

10 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Thanks for explaining about Sunday too. Not shopping or cleaning up my place on Sundays is still a bit strange to me. Can I still catch up with friends or family on Sundays? Or play sport? (Because church only takes up 3 hours at the most). Thank you for your help

Basically, Sunday is a day we dedicate to doing God's work through spiritual pursuits.  God's 2 commandments are - Love God.  Love your neighbors as yourself.  So, we concentrate on those.  We love God through worship and repentance in the partaking of the Sacrament.  We study gospel principles in Sunday School to learn more about our covenants and fellowship in Elder's Quorum or Relief Society to learn how to love and serve others.  This then extends to the rest of the day. 

So, catching up with friends and family can be part of doing God's work in loving your neighbors.  Resting is part of loving yourself so you'll have the energy for the rest of the week.  Cleaning the house - if you dedicate that as God's work of service to your family, then clean the house.  So, you might say - I'll go watch a movie as part of God's work to love my friends... but is it really?  Or is it just that you want to watch a movie as a worldly leisure and not a spiritual one?  Only you can answer that question.

Do you see what I'm saying?

 

[Smallfootsteps]

11 hours ago, zil said:

Yes, immediately!

The missionaries should have given you one!  (Bad missionaries, if they didn't!)  Ask any member of your ward to help you with this - they should just give you one.  You can also go to http://mormon.org and I'm sure they can hook you up.

IMO, whatever prompted you to get baptized (assuming you did that because you felt it was what God wanted you to do) is testimony.  Be careful comparing yourself to "most people in the church" - there is no guarantee most people in the church have a testimony (I couldn't begin to say, though I hope so), but more importantly, you may not be able to tell who does and who doesn't, and either way, the comparison can lead to discouragement, unrealistic expectations, etc.  Where others are in comparison to you doesn't matter.

Try it (that is, not doing those things), and you'll find that Sundays really are a rest and refresh your spirit to make living the Gospel easier.

Yes, that's one of the best things you can do.

In my personal opinion, no.  I would also recommend you not watch sporting events on TV (I know, some people think the Super Bowl is sacred).  I strongly recommend reading and pondering every link under the heading of "Sabbath" in the Topical Guide, including the "See also" items at the top - I found it a valuable and enlightening exercise.

I would also recommend you visit with the bishop or Relief Society (RS) president in your ward, and say something like, "I feel a little lost and would like someone to help me learn more about the church and what's expected of me, and available to me, as a member."  E.g. someone from the RS should have visited with you to invite you to be a visiting teacher and to receive visiting teachers, and if they haven't, they need to.  Visiting Teaching is where sisters are assigned into companionships of two sisters, who are then assigned to go and "Visit Teach" other sisters in the ward (2-4 is common).  Every sister is expected / invited to participate in this.  Similarly, we have Home Teaching, where priesthood holders (men) are assigned to visit each family in the ward.  (You should have home teachers assigned, who can also help you learn all this stuff.)

If you don't have home and visiting teachers, you could add to above sentence, something like: "My online friends say I should have Home and Visiting Teachers, but I'm not even sure what that means."

Please keep asking questions so we can help in this process, but we can't take the place of your ward - you need them, and if they're not coming to you for all this, then I think you should go to them.  (It's their duty to come to you, so if they're not, something is not right and needs to be fixed.)

At the beginning of Sacrament Meeting, near the doors, their should be a program.  On the back of that program should be names and phone numbers.  Among them will be the bishop, his executive secretary (who sets appointments for him), the ward clerk (who can get you manuals, a copy of the Book of Mormon (I assume), tell you which classes you go to, etc.), and the Relief Society president.

Thank you!! I will ask about the home and visitor teachers and thank you very much for explaining so well what the testimony is - I finally get it! 

[Maureen]

Welcome to the forum @Smallfootsteps! I'm curious - what was your reason for joining the LDS Church?

M.

[Smallfootsteps]

3 hours ago, Maureen said:

Welcome to the forum @Smallfootsteps! I'm curious - what was your reason for joining the LDS Church?

M.

I liked going initially, there were a lot of friendly people and I felt that some of what they said was true. But I also felt a lot of pressure to join. I wanted to wait longer but they kept saying it had to done soon or I might change my mind. Sometimes I wish I'd waited longer. 

[Smallfootsteps]

On 15/03/2017 at 1:09 AM, MormonGator said:

Most converts DO stop going to church within a few months. That makes lifelong members borderline suspicious sometimes of the ones that have stayed in the church. Think converts have to accept that we'll probably never 100% fit in-some lifelong members will always view us as "lesser" in some way. Should you stop going to church? No, but in all honesty I haven't gone in several months so if I told you to go I'd be both a liar and a hypocrite. 

Do you mind telling me why you haven't gone to church in months? I'm just wondering if your experience has been similar to mine. 

[BeccaKirstyn]

2 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Do you mind telling me why you haven't gone to church in months? I'm just wondering if your experience has been similar to mine. 

Could you explain why you are feeling like you don't want to go to church? Maybe we could help you out in some way. 

[Smallfootsteps]

2 hours ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

Could you explain why you are feeling like you don't want to go to church? Maybe we could help you out in some way. 

It's hard to explain. Firstly I feel like I've lost half my weekend, and it's a lot of pressure to try and get everything done on Saturdays. It's tiring and it's stressful. Then it feels like I'm always the odd one out. That all the other people there know each other and know everything about the doctrine. I still don't know a lot and I wish I didn't always feel so lost with it all. When I go to church it feels like stepping into an alternate universe. At times I miss my old church which just felt so normal and familiar to me. Finally I still have no clue about what happens in the temple and I think that's something that new converts should be told about instead of keeping secrets from them for a year (at least) of membership. It just doesn't make sense to me and when I look it up online it's concerning to me. People at church say to me "don't look up the church online" but if I didn't how am I supposed to know anything. Also, I'm a tad resentful that I was pressured into getting baptized. I wish now that I'd made that decision at my own pace, and wasnt pushed by friends and elders. The whole process feels like a stressful blur to me now and here I am a few months later trying to stop the feelings of confusion. 

I just want to go to a church and feel at home. I don't feel at home lately in the LDS church, as much as I want to. 

I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense here

Edited March 16, 2017 by Smallfootsteps

[BeccaKirstyn]

9 minutes ago, Smallfootsteps said:

It's hard to explain. Firstly I feel like I've lost half my weekend, and it's a lot of pressure to try and get everything done on Saturdays. It's tiring and it's stressful.

What things are you trying to get done on Saturdays? While we all have examples of how to keep the Sabbath Day holy, the most important thing is how you make that day consecrated to the Lord. Maybe focus first on what keeping the sabbath day holy means to you personally and what you think it requires, and then mold that into your life. Study this out in the scriptures (although I know you mentioned previously that you do not own a copy of the Book of Mormon, so I would make that a priority first). 

12 minutes ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Then it feels like I'm always the odd one out. That all the other people there know each other and know everything about the doctrine. I still don't know a lot and I wish I didn't always feel so lost with it all. When I go to church it feels like stepping into an alternate universe. At times I miss my old church which just felt so normal and familiar to me. 

Change is always scary and difficult. It takes us out of our comfort zone (for you, out of the church you were used to) and puts us in something that is new and unfamiliar. Those feelings are normal and will dissipate with time as you become more familiar with the church you're attending. Maybe try to have a goal each Sunday at church to talk to one new person. We can always say "well these people should be talking to me, I'm the new face", but we have to make the effort ourselves to get to know new people (and this is coming from an introvert who struggles to talk to new people). 

 

14 minutes ago, Smallfootsteps said:

Finally I still have no clue about what happens in the temple and I think that's something that new converts should be told about instead of keeping secrets from them for a year (at least) of membership. It just doesn't make sense to me and when I look it up online it's concerning to me. People at church say to me "don't look up the church online" but if I didn't how am I supposed to know anything.

You know how you were previously saying that you didn't know what a testimony was? Well, the temple is a place full of covenants and promise we make with the Lord, and these require a testimony in multiple things before we can be held accountable to know and take upon these covenants. Keeping these things "secret" is not to put a blind fold over those who haven't gone in so to keep them in the dark. You have to be spiritually prepared to know those aspects of the temple ordinances and that requires a lot of testimony building (which is why we don't allow new converts to make those important covenants soon after they are baptized. Building a testimony takes time.) We also don't share these things outside of the temple in order to keep them sacred, because the temple is a very sacred place. The world is not. So when these very sacred things are shared out of the context of a sacred temple, it is mocking God and His Church. Thus why we urge anyone, including members, to not look up these things online. They defile the purpose of the temple. 

 

19 minutes ago, Smallfootsteps said:

 Also, I'm a tad resentful that I was pressured into getting baptized. I wish now that I'd made that decision at my own pace, and wasnt pushed by friends and elders. The whole process feels like a stressful blur to me now and here I am a few months later trying to stop the feelings of confusion. 

I just want to go to a church and feel at home. I don't feel at home lately in the LDS church, as much as I want to. 

I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense here

I'm sorry you felt pressured into getting baptized. This is something that you can talk to your bishop about and he can bring some much needed guidance your way that will come directly from the Lord. You had your own impression about this gospel. You have to hold onto that, and build upon it through studying the scriptures, prayer, and building your foundation upon Christ. I definitely urge you to meet with your bishop and/or the missionaries to talk through these things with those who know you personally. 

[Smallfootsteps]

15 minutes ago, BeccaKirstyn said:

What things are you trying to get done on Saturdays? While we all have examples of how to keep the Sabbath Day holy, the most important thing is how you make that day consecrated to the Lord. Maybe focus first on what keeping the sabbath day holy means to you personally and what you think it requires, and then mold that into your life. Study this out in the scriptures (although I know you mentioned previously that you do not own a copy of the Book of Mormon, so I would make that a priority first). 

Change is always scary and difficult. It takes us out of our comfort zone (for you, out of the church you were used to) and puts us in something that is new and unfamiliar. Those feelings are normal and will dissipate with time as you become more familiar with the church you're attending. Maybe try to have a goal each Sunday at church to talk to one new person. We can always say "well these people should be talking to me, I'm the new face", but we have to make the effort ourselves to get to know new people (and this is coming from an introvert who struggles to talk to new people). 

 

You know how you were previously saying that you didn't know what a testimony was? Well, the temple is a place full of covenants and promise we make with the Lord, and these require a testimony in multiple things before we can be held accountable to know and take upon these covenants. Keeping these things "secret" is not to put a blind fold over those who haven't gone in so to keep them in the dark. You have to be spiritually prepared to know those aspects of the temple ordinances and that requires a lot of testimony building (which is why we don't allow new converts to make those important covenants soon after they are baptized. Building a testimony takes time.) We also don't share these things outside of the temple in order to keep them sacred, because the temple is a very sacred place. The world is not. So when these very sacred things are shared out of the context of a sacred temple, it is mocking God and His Church. Thus why we urge anyone, including members, to not look up these things online. They defile the purpose of the temple. 

 

I'm sorry you felt pressured into getting baptized. This is something that you can talk to your bishop about and he can bring some much needed guidance your way that will come directly from the Lord. You had your own impression about this gospel. You have to hold onto that, and build upon it through studying the scriptures, prayer, and building your foundation upon Christ. I definitely urge you to meet with your bishop and/or the missionaries to talk through these things with those who know you personally. 

The missionaries I did the lessons with are gone now. I don't know the new ones. I may try talking to the bishop but I feel awkward about it so I'll think about it some more. Just about Saturdays - I work 3 jobs and sometimes have to work Saturdays too. Because of church I now have to fit everything into that one day because I don't have time during the week (cleaning my place, grocery shopping, work, spending time with my daughter and family). It's exhausting and I never knew before I was baptized that I had to keep Sundays clear. I wish I had time on Sundays still. It feels like my weekends have been cut in half. I know for you and others it all feels normal but to me it's a huge adjustment and I'm not enjoying it. 

Edited March 16, 2017 by Smallfootsteps

[JohnsonJones]

3 hours ago, Smallfootsteps said:

It's hard to explain. Firstly I feel like I've lost half my weekend, and it's a lot of pressure to try and get everything done on Saturdays. It's tiring and it's stressful. Then it feels like I'm always the odd one out. That all the other people there know each other and know everything about the doctrine. I still don't know a lot and I wish I didn't always feel so lost with it all. When I go to church it feels like stepping into an alternate universe. At times I miss my old church which just felt so normal and familiar to me. Finally I still have no clue about what happens in the temple and I think that's something that new converts should be told about instead of keeping secrets from them for a year (at least) of membership. It just doesn't make sense to me and when I look it up online it's concerning to me. People at church say to me "don't look up the church online" but if I didn't how am I supposed to know anything. Also, I'm a tad resentful that I was pressured into getting baptized. I wish now that I'd made that decision at my own pace, and wasnt pushed by friends and elders. The whole process feels like a stressful blur to me now and here I am a few months later trying to stop the feelings of confusion. 

I just want to go to a church and feel at home. I don't feel at home lately in the LDS church, as much as I want to. 

I'm sorry if I'm not making much sense here

This is something that I think the LDS church is not as forward in providing for in our modern times.  An observation I've found in seeking others of the LDS faith online is that finding others is much harder than one would expect.  One of the reasons I am on this forum is because it is one of the ONLY places on the internet for LDS gospel discussions.  The internet is really pretty barren for LDS members to discuss things, but rife with a TON of anti-Mormon forums, sites, and places where people can talk and ask questions. 

In the LDS church, at many times, people don't want to actually answer questions, or actually help those who want to find out information.  In some places, the culture of the church actively prohibits growth from those seeking answers.  This presents the problem because if people cannot ask questions in their ward, and cannot ask questions on the internet, it can be hard to find honest sources to questions regarding the LDS faith.

If you have any questions, I know I, and I think others, will  be more than happy to try to answer them to the best of our abilities.

As for weekends, I'm not sure everything to tell you.  I tend to go grocery shopping very late on Saturday night at times so I don't go on Sunday, myself...so I'm probably not the best example on that.  I know there are members who DO clean their homes, wash their clothes and other things on Sundays.  I try not to, but my values are not what everyone has.

What Sunday is, is an excellent time for is spending time with family, so spending time with your daughter or family.  I use it as a day of rest, or try to after I get out of meetings and such.  Sometimes just having a day that you can refocus and refresh for the rest of the week is something I can look forward too.

My biggest thought from your posts though is that it sounds like you are trying to do everything all at once.  You don't have to be perfect instantly, and most of those who expect you to be are probably not perfect themselves in the first place.  I'd say keep the commandments as you can, but don't stress as much as it sounds like you may be.

In your ward, many want to stay in their comfort zones.  I even do that.  The best way out may be to try greeting others and talking with others.  That can still be a tough thing to do, however, that's the best thing I think you could try. The problem is that most don't want to get out of their comfort zones, OR, and I know this sounds crazy, are just as shy as everyone else about meeting new people.

Overall, I'd suggest you start reading the Book of Mormon and/or the New Testament.  It does NOT have to be a huge amount each day, maybe even just one or two paragraphs.

Here are links to both online, so if you don't have copies of them, you would be able to read them at your leisure via the internet.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng

Edited March 16, 2017 by JohnsonJones
Thought some issues that are occurring in our ward were probably a little to heavy and deep for this topic

[Smallfootsteps]

1 hour ago, JohnsonJones said:

This is something that I think the LDS church is not as forward in providing for in our modern times.  An observation I've found in seeking others of the LDS faith online is that finding others is much harder than one would expect.  One of the reasons I am on this forum is because it is one of the ONLY places on the internet for LDS gospel discussions.  The internet is really pretty barren for LDS members to discuss things, but rife with a TON of anti-Mormon forums, sites, and places where people can talk and ask questions. 

In the LDS church, at many times, people don't want to actually answer questions, or actually help those who want to find out information.  In some places, the culture of the church actively prohibits growth from those seeking answers.  This presents the problem because if people cannot ask questions in their ward, and cannot ask questions on the internet, it can be hard to find honest sources to questions regarding the LDS faith.

If you have any questions, I know I, and I think others, will  be more than happy to try to answer them to the best of our abilities.

As for weekends, I'm not sure everything to tell you.  I tend to go grocery shopping very late on Saturday night at times so I don't go on Sunday, myself...so I'm probably not the best example on that.  I know there are members who DO clean their homes, wash their clothes and other things on Sundays.  I try not to, but my values are not what everyone has.

What Sunday is, is an excellent time for is spending time with family, so spending time with your daughter or family.  I use it as a day of rest, or try to after I get out of meetings and such.  Sometimes just having a day that you can refocus and refresh for the rest of the week is something I can look forward too.

My biggest thought from your posts though is that it sounds like you are trying to do everything all at once.  You don't have to be perfect instantly, and most of those who expect you to be are probably not perfect themselves in the first place.  I'd say keep the commandments as you can, but don't stress as much as it sounds like you may be.

In your ward, many want to stay in their comfort zones.  I even do that.  The best way out may be to try greeting others and talking with others.  That can still be a tough thing to do, however, that's the best thing I think you could try. The problem is that most don't want to get out of their comfort zones, OR, and I know this sounds crazy, are just as shy as everyone else about meeting new people.

Overall, I'd suggest you start reading the Book of Mormon and/or the New Testament.  It does NOT have to be a huge amount each day, maybe even just one or two paragraphs.

Here are links to both online, so if you don't have copies of them, you would be able to read them at your leisure via the internet.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/nt?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng

Thank you very much for the links! Everything you said made perfect sense. For example I was just reading about the relief society's 175th anniversary and 3 things stuck in my mind as being contrary to my experience. It said they do the visiting teaching and I didn't even know what that was until a few days ago when I found out on this forum. I've never had a woman teacher or a man teacher come to see me.  It said they meet up once a month for social activities but I've never heard of or been invited to one  And it said they meet for an hour on Sundays to teach and help others but mine is just like the Sunday school class only without men.  I feel like I'm in a cliquey sorority only no-one else wants me there. 

[Sunday21]

You can go to the temple to do baptisms. It is sometimes tricky to arrange this if you are older as the church arranges for the youth to do baptisms and older people often do other ceremonies. I would go talk to the bishop, tell him about your struggles and ask if you can be supporter at a youth baptism trip. The problems that you are having are not so much a reflection of you but rather of your ward. Sometimes wards are very disorganized. 

[Smallfootsteps]

1 hour ago, Sunday21 said:

You can go to the temple to do baptisms. It is sometimes tricky to arrange this if you are older as the church arranges for the youth to do baptisms and older people often do other ceremonies. I would go talk to the bishop, tell him about your struggles and ask if you can be supporter at a youth baptism trip. The problems that you are having are not so much a reflection of you but rather of your ward. Sometimes wards are very disorganized. 

I didn't know about this. Thank you for telling me. And I'm wondering why no-one offered to do my baptism at the temple? Mine was just in the local ward chapel. It would have been great to have had it in the temple then at least I would get to see the inside of it. Do I have to know the people getting baptized in the temple or can anyone attend? Cannot believe I've been a member for so many months and no-one at my ward is telling me these things!! 

[Jsmith85]

It sounds like you got a lot going on. Just a few things I wanted to add.

I get the need to feel at home at church - part of what I think helps with that is to get involved - have the missonaries over for a meal or sign up to help with the ward's service project. - For me, I'm going to the lds mid-singles convernce simply to make friends. I struggled with doing so because i work friday night - get off to go to an all day confernce and back to work another overnight (there is a three hour break where we can rest or go to an activity - I'll be sleeping)

I never felt pressured into being baptised - but I can see how it happens as the missionaries are young and eager to convert. My missionaries were pretty fresh - one is about 6 months in and the other one had only been out a month when first met.

[Jsmith85]

25 minutes ago, Smallfootsteps said:

I didn't know about this. Thank you for telling me. And I'm wondering why no-one offered to do my baptism at the temple? Mine was just in the local ward chapel. It would have been great to have had it in the temple then at least I would get to see the inside of it. Do I have to know the people getting baptized in the temple or can anyone attend? Cannot believe I've been a member for so many months and no-one at my ward is telling me these things!! 

From what I understand the baptisms at the temple are done for those who died without being baptised. I belive all living baptisms are done at the local stake center.

As for seeing the inside of the temple - when new temples are built and I believe rededicated they have an open house that the public can go to (including non members) there is a local temple opening near me in August so the temple has been a major talking point in my ward. - Perhaps you can see if there is one coming near you or being rededicated.