Are the young married sealed in the temple couples at a better advantage than me?

[Guest]

The reason I talked about sleep, diet, and exercise is that I believe you're so focused on the big problem (your mental issues) that you're not leaving yourself open to greater blessings.  You're not leaving yourself open to improving yourself in other areas.  I believe you'll find that if you focus on other areas enough, eventually, the psychological stuff will take care of itself.

Let me tell you a story from Lynn S. Lund (the LDS composer and wife of Gerald Lund, the author).  While I put it in a quote box, it is a paraphrase of what Sis. Lund said in a fireside (that to my knowledge was not recorded) which I attended about 30 years ago.

Quote

Jane was a mentally handicapped child who had difficulty making friends.  It was a great source of sorrow to her mother (Amy) that Jane had no friends.  So, they prayed together and worked on social graces and came up with things they could do to make friends.  Amy decided that Jane should invite some people over for a play day.  No one accepted the invitation.  

As Amy investigated why, she found out that it was NOT that the people around her were mean.  It was mainly because Jane didn't understand personal association very well.  One problem was that she did not respond well to any negative feedback.  Even if someone said they didn't like the same food or song caused Jane to have a fit to where she was unmanageable.  She observed her on the phone calling one of the girls at school asking her over.  When the girl said no, Jane cried out,"You're the meanest girl in the world!  I hate you I hate you."  Then she hung up the phone.

Amy prayed and prayed for Jane to overcome her problems and be able to make friends.  She decided to practice on the phone.  When Amy (as the other girl) would say,"No, I can't make it."  Then Jane was to say,"That's ok.  Maybe next time.  Thank you for taking my call."  They eventually practiced until she got it right.  But when she actually called someone for real it was back to the "I hate you..." hang up.

Amy continued to pray for Jane to make friends... until the Spirit actually spoke to her (Amy) and said,"You're asking for too much, too fast.  There is a reason Jane was given the difficulties she has been given.  Some are not to be overcome as she is.  Ask for small steps."

Amy then prayed that when Jane would call a girl for a play day and get a negative response, that she would be able to say,"That's ok.  Maybe next time."  A little while later, her prayer was answered.  Jane was able to keep it together enough to not get angry and say "Maybe next time."  

This was the first step.  From that point Amy worked on another step and another step.  After much work and time, Jane did have friends that would come over for a play day.

Don't be so focused on the big difficulties (that may never be fully healed) that you miss the opportunities to work on all the baby-steps that will eventually overshadow the big difficulties in your life.

I'd say the first step is to get proper sleep, diet, and exercise.  I'm sure you've tried just like Amy tried to get Jane to say "that's ok" and failed.  But I believe sometimes the failure is that you're trying to do too much too fast.  Focus on one thing -- how can you get the proper sleep you need?  I don't have the answers to that.  But you can figure it out.  Work on that ONE thing. Ask for help from those around you.

11 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

Well I've lost all shred of little self respect I had left for you and this board.

But you might want to start with offering an apology to @MormonGator and the board.  It may help you sleep better with that off your conscience.

Edited March 17, 2017 by Guest

[Traveler]

14 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

I am 31 years old, never been sealed in the temple, but I've been temple endowed for 11 and a half years and have done countless temple work for ancestors and others. My question though is are the 19 to 22 year olds that I know who are just getting sealed in the temple to their spouses at a better spiritual advantage than me because they've completed all their ordinances that they need for exaltation, while I'm still lacking being sealed to a spouse and my parents, or does it not matter if the actual ordinance has been done already or not, and if I'm worthy and keep the commandments I could be on a better path than those who are already sealed but aren't as faithful? I ask because I'm very jealous of these 18-23 year olds who get sealed in the temple and the girls who don't even have to go on mission and get endowed and sealed in the span of a month and accomplish the 2 crowning ordinances in the church, while I feel like I may never get the sealing ordinance in this life and I'm 31. Should I have reason to relax and have good faith and if so what is that reason? I'm trying not to be jealous of all my young friends who are getting the crowning ordinance of the temple and setting themselves up on the path to exaltation while I've never had a LDS girlfriend and may never will by chance.

 

I have read through this thread.  The first principle is that there is a definite advantage to every person to marry and be sealed in the temple.  I know this because I married later in my life.  The advantages are not always what you would think or even want (at first).  For sure being married is not an economic advantage.   If you are currently having economic problems in your life (especially for your age) marriage will be an incremental hardship for both you and your spouse.  One question you should deal with is whether the economic hardships you introduce to a relationship would be too difficult for the ladies you wish to date.

Every individual has difficulties in life as an element of the fall.  The question is about sharing both difficulties and advantages in a relationship.  The Brethren speak of this as being “equally yoked”.  Those that look beyond themselves will be able to tap into the advantages of marriage and those with enmity born of pride will find marriage to be of a great disadvantage.  I used the word enmity because that prideful sin creates unkind feelings that separates us from others rather than uniting us in love.

 

The Traveler

[NightSG]

17 minutes ago, Traveler said:

For sure being married is not an economic advantage.

Ah yes, because there's no advantage to sharing housing costs, which are by far the largest expense in most people's budget until they own a home free and clear.  

The economic advantage comes from not deciding that a married couple suddenly needs as much or more space as both had before, new cars, etc.  My ex wife and I spent our first year sleeping in a twin bed, in a 650 square foot house.  It wasn't until we set out to buy a substantially larger house that we started having financial arguments that eventually ended the marriage.

If the focus of the marriage is on each other, and not on all the things you think couples are supposed to have, then there's a huge economic advantage in sharing.

[Eydis]

15 hours ago, Zarahemla said:

I am 31 years old, never been sealed in the temple, but I've been temple endowed for 11 and a half years and have done countless temple work for ancestors and others. My question though is are the 19 to 22 year olds that I know who are just getting sealed in the temple to their spouses at a better spiritual advantage than me because they've completed all their ordinances that they need for exaltation, while I'm still lacking being sealed to a spouse and my parents, or does it not matter if the actual ordinance has been done already or not, and if I'm worthy and keep the commandments I could be on a better path than those who are already sealed but aren't as faithful? I ask because I'm very jealous of these 18-23 year olds who get sealed in the temple and the girls who don't even have to go on mission and get endowed and sealed in the span of a month and accomplish the 2 crowning ordinances in the church, while I feel like I may never get the sealing ordinance in this life and I'm 31. Should I have reason to relax and have good faith and if so what is that reason? I'm trying not to be jealous of all my young friends who are getting the crowning ordinance of the temple and setting themselves up on the path to exaltation while I've never had a LDS girlfriend and may never will by chance.

You shouldn't be jealous but realize that a covenant is a two way street. We covenant with God but also God covenants with us to help us fulfill our promise.  That additional help is not there without the covenant. A covenant is a contract of teamwork between the person making the covenant and God.  That is the blessing of having priesthood authority in our lives that is binding and real.  Those covenants will be made available to all those who desire them and remain worthy of them onto the next realm where they will be made available if they couldn't happen here. So, don't be jealous but at the same time remain desirous.