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"No backup brownies"

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I'm in the YW presidency. In our leadership trainings (usually with stake leaders) we've been told again and again, "No backup brownies." In other words, if the girls have an assignment for an activity. like bringing brownies, don't have a pan of them in your trunk just in case they flake out. 

Well that's about to blow up in my girls' faces today. We have a huge event tonight and they didn't prepare. It's hard but I think it's an important lesson for them. If they don't follow through because they know we'll bail them out, what are they learning? How does that prepare them for future leadership roles and service in the church?

But then there's a price the leaders pay. I anticipate some nasty grams from parents being thrown my way. I'll just tell them what I usually do: "It's the kids' program, and they are instructed to run it. We're here for support. They're learning and mistakes will happen along the way, but in the end this is their responsibility."

I'll still vent about it here, though. :)

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Guest MormonGator
1 hour ago, Eowyn said:

I'm in the YW presidency. In our leadership trainings (usually with stake leaders) we've been told again and again, "No backup brownies." In other words, if the girls have an assignment for an activity. like bringing brownies, don't have a pan of them in your trunk just in case they flake out. 

Well that's about to blow up in my girls' faces today. We have a huge event tonight and they didn't prepare. It's hard but I think it's an important lesson for them. If they don't follow through because they know we'll bail them out, what are they learning? How does that prepare them for future leadership roles and service in the church?

But then there's a price the leaders pay. I anticipate some nasty grams from parents being thrown my way. I'll just tell them what I usually do: "It's the kids' program, and they are instructed to run it. We're here for support. They're learning and mistakes will happen along the way, but in the end this is their responsibility."

I'll still vent about it here, though. :)

I admire you so much @Eowyn. Leadership like you bends over backwards to help the young people in the church. You get blamed if things go wrong, and you get none of the credit if things go right. Very sad. 

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This is an area where I struggle--in church and in personal life. I mean, I know I can do the job better (usually) and anticipate that others are either not gonna do it or not do it the right way. (yeah, go ahead and call me a control freak--I resemble that). I have to consciously let go and that is very difficult to accept that it means that I have to accept failure.

Good luck, sister. When the rain falls, just quack.

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Thanks, Gator. I used to let people walk all over me and I suffered for it. Now I stick up for myself where appropriate. One mom yelled at me in the foyer in front of my YW and she got some words... privately, where it was appropriate to do so. Nothing out of line, but laying out without a doubt why doing that was totally inappropriate. She hasn't bothered me since. i don't know that many have. I'm always, always open to conversation, but I won't tolerate being attacked for doing my calling as I'm counseled. 

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Guest LiterateParakeet

Natural consequences--LOVE it!  You have my full support!   How did it go?

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Having the opportunity to fail, while surrounded by people who love them, is such an important growing experience for the youth! 

 

I have served in the young men's organization for almost 2 decades and currently serve in the stake young men's presidency. I have experienced quite a few parents who become distraught about decisions made by church leaders and advisors. 

 

There is a somewhat strange thought process that if the youth experience disappointment or failure, their testimony is going to suffer, they will go inactive, they will leave the church, and ultimately lose their exaltation. 

 

If your stake leaders are encouraging you to have no backup brownies, then the opportunity to learn about failure is probably just what the young women need at this time. The parents who complain the most are likely the ones whose children need this opportunity most. 

 

Let us know how it turns out! 

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