Autumnwind

Not wanting to be apart from someone meaning?

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Does not wanting to be apart from someone you're dating always mean that you want to be with them forever? I dated this guy for a year and it was a bad relationship because we were both in rough spots. We took a three month break because he went to school in another state and I stayed home. I didn't talk to him pretty much all that time and dated someone else, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now I'm in school with him and we're talking again, and we're both doing much better. My problem is that I don't want to be apart from him and I'm not sure why. I feel like there might be other people better suited for me, but I almost don't care because I don't want this guy not apart of my life. Could it be familiarity? What do you guys think?

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8 hours ago, Autumnwind said:

Does not wanting to be apart from someone you're dating always mean that you want to be with them forever? I dated this guy for a year and it was a bad relationship because we were both in rough spots. We took a three month break because he went to school in another state and I stayed home. I didn't talk to him pretty much all that time and dated someone else, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now I'm in school with him and we're talking again, and we're both doing much better. My problem is that I don't want to be apart from him and I'm not sure why. I feel like there might be other people better suited for me, but I almost don't care because I don't want this guy not apart of my life. Could it be familiarity? What do you guys think?

I think you should put out feelers on how he feels about you.  You may feel you want to be around him forever, but if he doesn't feel the same way...could make for an awkward time together later on. 

It could be familiarity, it could be far more.  I think the first thing is to put our feelers (blatantly stating it may not be the best way to go, depending on how he feels about you) and see what his feelings are.

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8 hours ago, Autumnwind said:

Does not wanting to be apart from someone you're dating always mean that you want to be with them forever? I dated this guy for a year and it was a bad relationship because we were both in rough spots. We took a three month break because he went to school in another state and I stayed home. I didn't talk to him pretty much all that time and dated someone else, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now I'm in school with him and we're talking again, and we're both doing much better. My problem is that I don't want to be apart from him and I'm not sure why. I feel like there might be other people better suited for me, but I almost don't care because I don't want this guy not apart of my life. Could it be familiarity? What do you guys think?

I think it is more dependency than familiarity.  Not wanting to be apart from somebody is more in line with fear or insecurity.  The more secure one gets in a relationship the lesser the degree of needing to be physically close to somebody at all times.

In a marital relationship, this feeling of not wanting to be apart from your spouse ebbs and flows.  In my marriage, there are times when I just need that physical affirmation of closeness that I would ask my husband to take a day off from work because even if his job is only 10 minutes away, I can't wait the 8 hours that he is apart from me.  Most of the time, though, I feel so secure that there was a time before I had kids that I took a job 3 hours away from home so that I would drive to work on Monday morning and not come home until Friday afternoon.

 

Edited by anatess2

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Don't try and read meaning into things too much.  It's OK for you to recognize how you feel, but like anatess2 said it could be a form of dependency (which is usually not healthy) rather than love, and even if it is love that doesn't mean he is the one or anything like that.  Take things one day at a time, look inward at why you feel as you do, look around at what other options there are.  It may just be his being a familiar face in a sea of change.

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It could be familiarity with a little infatuation involved. You should ask yourself why you feel that way?do you want to never be apart from him because you need him as a friend or is there something else that you feel? Also, maybe you need to ask him if he feels the same way. 

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