How To Be Anti-Anything


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I once had a dicsussion on a forum about a "certain company" that had a bad reputation.  I found that many of the rumors around them were false or half-truths (mostly out of context stuff).  I stated on the thread that while I didn't care for the activities of this company, I found that the statements being said were false, and we really should try to tell the truth.

The primary antagonist simply asked,"If you don't like them, why are you trying to stop me from telling people these things?"  I guess it went over her head that just because you don't like something/someone doesn't give you license to tell lies.

More subtle than lies or half-truths is to actually tell a truth for the sole purpose of diminishing or defaming.  Paparazzi take pictures of celebrities at the most inopportune times.  Imagine if the paparazzi somehow got a picture of a celebrity picking the toe jam out of their toes.  Well, that is something that we find distasteful, but it is necessary, isn't it?  Now, what if every time you mentioned a celebrity's name, it was always accompanied with << You know, the guy that was cleaning his toe jam >>.  No matter what other accomplishments no matter what else he did and no matter how much he explained that it is something that is necessary, everyone would always think <<oh, yeah.  The toe-jam guy>>.  

What?  Could a quarterback lead a team to the Superbowl five times and still somehow be remembered as "the toe-jam guy"?

If it's true, why can't you say that?  Uhmm, because it's not relevant.  It was something that was necessary. Yes he cleans his toes.  It's not like he was cleaning them by licking his toes and swallowing it.  Would you rather he DIDn't clean his toes?  What's the alternative?  And does that really define him?  It does to you.  But he doesn't deserve that.  He should be defined by the fact he led his team to victory time-and-time again.

It also goes to show real ignorance and lack of self-awareness.  Ashley Simpson was once the musical guest on SNL.  Something went wrong with the audio and the lip sync was no longer in proper time.  Several "I hate Ashley" sites were immediately formed.  They used this video to show "See she lip syncs all her music."  It was only their ignorance that had them believe no one else lip synced on shows like this.  In other words, it is completely acceptable and normal for performances on TV (especially live TV) to be lip synched.  That is the common practice.  But because they didn't know that, they felt perfectly justified in continuing their hatred and animosity.

And it really seems sad that these people really have nothing better to do than to tear someone else down as their entire raison d'etre.

Now, if you think really hard, you mignt find a parallel relevant to this forum.

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31 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

This explains the denemour of my many elderly relatives. They hate everyone!

do you mean demeanor?

As an elderly person - I really don't hate everyone, I hurt. I hurt so bad sometimes that my teeth ache - and I have false teeth! But, the ghost of my teeth actually ache.

Young children hurt my ears. Even turning down my hearing aids, their high pitched voices still penetrate.

The talking over talking that the 20 - 30 something yr old generation does - that also makes my head ache.

Perhaps if you sit quietly and watch your elderly relatives, really pay attention to their body language then perhaps you will be able to figure out why they are angry/hateful/ etc.

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46 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

This explains the denemour of my many elderly relatives. They hate everyone!

It's not an elderly thing. My elderly relatives (and neighbors who are older) are amazingly, inspiringly, wonderfully pleasant and happy. It's a personality thing. If you are unpleasant, hate smiling, kick puppies, have a personality that makes women and children cry (you know, like @Vort) at age 35, you'll be the same way at 50, 55, 60, 65, 70....etc, etc. 

It takes effort to be happy. It's easy to complain, be sad, grumpy and miserable. Being pleasant and happy takes work. 

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I think as you become elderly, what you were in life is amplified.

So, if you were a kind, loving, wonderful father, for example, you go even moreso in this direction!  President Hinckley comes to mind.  President Faust too - I saw him speak at the MTC in person, and my impression of seeing President Faust in person was that he was an unusually gentle and kind man.  I think we all know an elderly man or woman in the ward who is an absolute angel.  

That said, if you were a total jerk during your formative years, you will be an even bigger jerk when you are elderly.  

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5 minutes ago, DoctorLemon said:

That said, if you were a total jerk during your formative years, you will be an even bigger jerk when you are elderly.  

Yup. There is nothing worse than a jerk who is also religious. Without question the worst thing religious people can do is be cruel, rude, grumpy, mean, sour, overly contentious etc. It's gives the religion a bad name. 

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Negativity is addictive. Grumpiness is a habit. Fortunately, habits can be broken, and practice makes things easier... including being patient, kind, and positive. 

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4 minutes ago, Eowyn said:

Negativity is addictive. Grumpiness is a habit. Fortunately, habits can be broken, and practice makes things easier... including being patient, kind, and positive. 

 It's true, but the sad part is that many people who are  grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't see themselves as grumpy/argumentative/nasty so they don't want to change or think they don't need to. 

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4 hours ago, MormonGator said:

It's not an elderly thing. My elderly relatives (and neighbors who are older) are amazingly, inspiringly, wonderfully pleasant and happy. It's a personality thing. If you are unpleasant, hate smiling, kick puppies, have a personality that makes women and children cry (you know, like @Vort) at age 35, you'll be the same way at 50, 55, 60, 65, 70....etc, etc. 

It takes effort to be happy. It's easy to complain, be sad, grumpy and miserable. Being pleasant and happy takes work. 

Amen, and amen!

It takes conscious, continual effort to be and look for the positive. But it's well worth the work. There's a song bit in a Supernatural YouTube fan/crack video (my old roommate showed me; don't ask me where) that goes, in a really sarcastic voice, "I'm super, thanks for asking! All things considered, I couldn't be better!" Every once in a while, when someone at work throws out that obligatory "how are ya?" I respond in song. 99% of the time, it brightens the atmosphere. There is one lady who absolutely and actively HATES it. Obviously I no longer do this within her earshot, but it is indicative of her sour personality. 

It baffles me that people willingly hold personal grudges for decades. Why? I mean, it's one thing to BE mad, and an entirely different thing to STAY mad. I've lived and worked alongside people like this, and I just don't get it. Probably why we're instructed to pray for our enemies.

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14 hours ago, seashmore said:

Every once in a while, when someone at work throws out that obligatory "how are ya?" I respond in song.

Curious. What songs do you respond with?

There was once co-worker who responded with "Grrreeaat..." And he said it as monotone as possible.  It was just that combination of straight man humor with a touch of sarcasm that made most people smile at it.

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18 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@Iggy. I am sure that you bear no resemblance to my elderly relatives! Fear not! My mother is coming to town and we are collectively bracing ourselves.

This made me chuckle. My Grandmother was cranky, bitter and sarcastic most of the time. Her daughter, my Mother was the total opposite. Often, after Grandma left the room after spewing her viterol at me, Mom would hug me and say: Grandma is one of the elderly who doesn't age gracefully. note: Grandma was 53 when I was born.

15 hours ago, Eowyn said:

Negativity is addictive. Grumpiness is a habit. Fortunately, habits can be broken, and practice makes things easier... including being patient, kind, and positive. 

Yep, I agree totally.

15 hours ago, MormonGator said:

 It's true, but the sad part is that many people who are  grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't see themselves as grumpy/argumentative/nasty so they don't want to change or think they don't need to. 

Hm, I disagree with this. Grandma knew full well she was being grumpy/argumentative/nasty. When I reached my early 20's, I also reached the same height and weight as her. Looking her straight on, eye to eye, nose to nose, I simply told her that her attitude & actions were inappropriate, uncalled for, unacceptable and to cease-n-desist. note: she flung out Cease-n-desist at us kids all the time. As an adult, looking back, I realized she really wasn't using that in the proper context - but in tossing it back at her I got my message across. My standing up to her, made her realize how hurtful she was being. At least my two youngest siblings didn't have to suffer from her tongue lashings as much as I and my 3 older siblings.

MormonGator, think about it - when you are grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't you realize what you are doing at the time you are doing it? I sure do. I also don't feel good about myself until I go and apologize - sincerely apologize to those I have verbally lashed out to and against. Sometimes it is the entire RS, sometimes it is to individuals.

With my Grandmother, her demeanor changed to the better after she had 4 teeth removed. :eek: She had too many teeth and the pressure/pain made her miserable. Since the pain was not a sudden type, but rather a sneak up on you over time kind, she and the family didn't notice it. Mom said Grandma had been like that all her life.

My crankiness/rudeness/etc. is a result of the pain I am in. Chronic pain wears you down especially when the onset is relatively soon. Mine started about a year ago.

One of my favorite sisters in RS came to me just this last Sunday, put her arm across my shoulder, kissed me on my cheek, and asked me how she could help me get my old, happy, self back. Her love and concern and LACK of judgement brought tears to my eyes. I told her to just keep loving me, and reminding me when I begin to get out of control - that this too shall pass.

Love those cranky/grumpy/argumentative/nasty people. Let them know you love them no matter how much they try to make it hard for you to do. As I was sitting in the chapel with my head bowed and my hands clasped in my lap [I was hurting], a little girl came up, patted my hands and told me that she and Jesus loved me. I took her hand in mine , brought it to my lips, kissed it and told her that I loved her and Jesus too. MADE. MY. ENTIRE. DAY

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Guest MormonGator
42 minutes ago, Iggy said:

MormonGator, think about it - when you are grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't you realize what you are doing at the time you are doing it? I sure do. I also don't feel good about myself until I go and apologize - sincerely apologize to those I have verbally lashed out to and against. Sometimes it is the entire RS, sometimes it is to individuals.

I admire that you (and others) because it's a trait I don't have. I seldom apologize, and I carry grudges forever. In that one way, I'm a lot like Donald Trump! 

Do I realize it when I'm argumentative or nasty? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Like many others I'm passionate about my views and beliefs, so a lot of the times I'm considered "argumentative" it's just my passionate side. My friends know this and they accept it. 

I don't think people who are overly contentious all the time/ pick fights/ argue over the sky being blue know that about themselves because it's so ingrained in their personality. It's like asking a fish about water. What water? It's what I was born in, it's what I swim in every day. It's who I am. I think if it's so ingrained in your personality (and there are people out there like that) than no, you don't realize it. It's sort of like an alcoholic being in denial.  
 

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10 hours ago, Carborendum said:

Curious. What songs do you respond with?

There was once co-worker who responded with "Grrreeaat..." And he said it as monotone as possible.  It was just that combination of straight man humor with a touch of sarcasm that made most people smile at it.

Really, just the one. 

"I'm super, thanks for asking!"

I googled the lyrics just now, and apparently, it's a song from South Park. Someone used the first verse/chorus in a Supernatural fan clip video, and that's how I know it. Who'd a thunkit?

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8 hours ago, seashmore said:

Really, just the one. 

"I'm super, thanks for asking!"

I googled the lyrics just now, and apparently, it's a song from South Park. Someone used the first verse/chorus in a Supernatural fan clip video, and that's how I know it. Who'd a thunkit?

No wonder I wasn't familiar with it.  All I know from South Park is "You killed Kenny!"

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On May 21, 2017 at 7:15 PM, MormonGator said:

Yup. There is nothing worse than a jerk who is also religious. Without question the worst thing religious people can do is be cruel, rude, grumpy, mean, sour, overly contentious etc. It's gives the religion a bad name. 

That is what is part of what is meant by taking the lords name in vain, altho id say being hypocritical of bigger things than just an attitude is probably weightier in that regard.

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On 5/21/2017 at 8:21 PM, MormonGator said:

 It's true, but the sad part is that many people who are  grumpy/argumentative/nasty don't see themselves as grumpy/argumentative/nasty so they don't want to change or think they don't need to. 

The corollary is that people who are ignorant and obnoxious refuse to believe that they are ignorant and obnoxious, so they won't change.

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