HELP ME SAVE MY MARRIAGE


Blockmichael90
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1 hour ago, pam said:

 I don't think I've ever seen anyone post so much negativity towards women as you have.  

His view on women has gone from offensive to downright disturbing. 

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I really cant rap my ahead around why things seem so unbelievable to some of you. Why it seems that women cannot treat men the way some do.  I realize this is a Mormon board with many LDS members but I still don't understand. Would it surprise any of you that several of those women I mentioned were LDS women? I grew up in the Mormon church. I will admit I was not Mr perfect Mormon in my late teenage years, in college, and through a lot of my 20's. I am mid 30's now and hope I have repented enough and been forgiven for my short comings.  75-100 women, is that a lot?  By the time I graduated high school, I had dated at least 25 girls.  I did not marry until 32 so do the math, that's not really a lot considering. Gosh I feel like I have been single more than in relationships.  Now know they were not all 6 year relationships, but the women that did cheat were the ones that were not just a few dates and were what we both considered exclusive. Some of you may have been sheltered a little more than I have or maybe some of you think like most bishops do, that Mormon girls are pure, perfect, and innocent. I don't know.  I really cannot fathom how when I share my experiences or my opinions of some women, and don't claim that all woman are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, how I get scolded and called a mental head case and need help.  And then, of course some of you say well maybe you are the problem. Well of course I am, because women do no wrong. What I cannot understand is a poor guy gets on here and posts how his wife is cheating on him and how devastated he is, YET everyone that replies defends the wife! What? And then I make the comment, well she is a cheat bud, sorry, I think she can do it again. And I get called the weirdo and the hater. Huh? Mormon girls  are taught from birth that they are perfect and do no wrong. And Mormon men, well most like most guys are scared to say anything and are mostly whipped by women anyway. So since this board is mostly Mormon, this seems about right.  A guy gets on here saying his wife cheated, and I didn't see not one guy in here that blamed the wife. Are the men in here so beat down, that they are scared to disagree or blame a woman for her actions?  I am sure there were a few women that did, but would never dare post that idea.   So here is what I am going to do, the next time a guy gets on here and is devastated that his wife is cheating on him, I am going to do the Mormon thing and the popular thing and blame the guy. How is that? Or I will do like some and agree that there is no way that is happening. No way a woman did that.  How would that be?  Would that make everyone see me In a different light? And not a weirdo woman hater?

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Is it really so hard for you to recognize that the OP asked for help saving his marriage, not for help getting up the courage to divorce his wife?  Is it so hard to read the replies in that light?  Is it so hard to give the guy the support he asked for instead of discouraging him further?  Blindnessn

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24 minutes ago, Dillon said:

I really cant rap my ahead around why things seem so unbelievable to some of you. 

75-100 relationships is a lot is why it seems hard to believe, largely for the reason @Just_A_Guy already mentioned. Even if you went through four relationships a year meaning they last an average of 3 months it would take 25 years to have 100 relationships... so yeah, it's hard to believe because taking someone on a couple dates is not usually considered a committed relationship.

29 minutes ago, Dillon said:

Why it seems that women cannot treat men the way some do.  I realize this is a Mormon board with many LDS members but I still don't understand. Would it surprise any of you that several of those women I mentioned were LDS women?

I don't recall anyone suggesting that women never do wrong, but you seem to insist in every thread that they are the scum of the earth. I think you really have some deep-seated issues you need to move past, and I wish you well in doing so. It doesn't surprise me, sadly, to hear that LDS girls have cheated on you - we live in a sad world where human make terrible mistakes and hurt others and the Church is not immune.

32 minutes ago, Dillon said:

 75-100 women, is that a lot?  

Yes! That's a lot. Hard to believe a lot.. I have no idea what average is but I personally likely dated less than twenty girls on even a single occasion, only three or four that verged on being considered any kind of real relationship and only one where we agreed to be exclusive and took to the moniker of boyfriend and girlfriend before getting engaged and married.

38 minutes ago, Dillon said:

What I cannot understand is a poor guy gets on here and posts how his wife is cheating on him and how devastated he is, YET everyone that replies defends the wife! What? And then I make the comment, well she is a cheat bud, sorry, I think she can do it again. And I get called the weirdo and the hater. Huh? Mormon girls  are taught from birth that they are perfect and do no wrong. And Mormon men, well most like most guys are scared to say anything and are mostly whipped by women anyway. So since this board is mostly Mormon, this seems about right.  A guy gets on here saying his wife cheated, and I didn't see not one guy in here that blamed the wife. Are the men in here so beat down, that they are scared to disagree or blame a woman for her actions? 

Her cheating isn't a foregone conclusion, the evidence given thus far isn't beyond a reasonable doubt so to speak. However, the worldview you have jumps to it automatically being another "good for nothing, lying, cheating woman". I haven't really interpreted anyone as coming to her defence, rather stating that the evidence isn't conclusive. This is consistent with the plea from the OP to help save a marriage. In this light I don't see how suggesting to call it quits accomplishes that. 

I hope you can understand that I'm not trying to pick on you, but to share a perspective to answer your questions. It really is remarkable how you can come across so bitter to half the population and still not even see how rude you are being, and how unhelpful your posts are when they spew forth your hatred for women on every topic under the sun.

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On 5/29/2017 at 11:08 PM, Blockmichael90 said:

Hello everyone I will make this brief as possible and I will take ANY advice that helps save my marriage. 

Im a recent convert, my wife (gf at the time) had me investigate and I chose to join. We have been together for 6 years married for 1. She is 23 I am 26. Since getting married she has been doubting whether she made the right decision. She tells me she's depressed and unhappy. I am a person who worries about everything. I worry one day she will cheat or lie. My worst nightmare became my reality yesterday when I found a picture of another mans (you know what) on her snap chat. She struggled to take her phone before I could get. I went into a rage. I yelled I screamed i told her hurtful things, the worst part is I grabbed her shoulder and push her away from me a couple times to keep her from taking her phone back. I am devastated. She is the woman I trust and love and our history is deep and eventful. She is the reason I wake up. I love her more than anything in this world and I left appalled Speech less and in more pain than I could ever explain. Her parents do not believe she had been chatting with the man and had asked for any pictures from him. I confronted the man and he went on to tell me they had flirted and she said "I wouldn't mind getting a picture" she never opened the Snapchat from him I'm assuming out of guilt but she knew it was there. After a lot of yelling and crying and some physical contact and her phone getting broke in the process she has left to her parents. She explained to them she doesn't know the man and he sent that unexpectedly. She lied to them to keep her innocent image with her family. I talked to her father and explained that I talked to the man and verified my wife encouraged him. She even told him she wasn't married. He went on to tell me I should believe my wife only. EVEN THOUGH I CAUGHT HER red handed and confirmed this with the guy. I'm devastated she has left me and is moving out. She doesn't expect we will be together and I'm now feeling rather suicidal. Please help me anyone. 

I wanted to clarify my reaction to your post. I have marked it "sad" because I feel for your situation and am willing to 'mourn with those who mourn'. You'll be in my personal prayers tonight brother blockmichael.

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2 hours ago, Dillon said:

So here is what I am going to do, the next time a guy gets on here and is devastated that his wife is cheating on him, I am going to do the Mormon thing and the popular thing and blame the guy. How is that? Or I will do like some and agree that there is no way that is happening. No way a woman did that.  How would that be?  Would that make everyone see me In a different light? And not a weirdo woman hater?

As @zil says, the thrust of the OP was what he (the author) could do to save the relationship.

And, this is not a black-and-white situation.  I didn't say this earlier, because the OP's author seems like a stand-up guy who is owning his own shortcomings and there's no point in me piling on.  But, the OP describes perpetrating a domestic-violence-related assault (class B misdemeanor in Utah, if memory serves--I haven't practiced criminal defense for a few years now) and interference with a communications device (that's another class B).  So this is a dysfunctional relationship here, and it's at least partly a result of his own conduct.  And I reiterate--kudos to the OP for owning that; and this isn't intended to judge or scare him at all.  But you, Dillon, aren't doing him any favors by making him into a victim; especially when you project your own multitudinous failed relationships onto the OP's life experience.

Edited by Just_A_Guy
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On 9/8/2017 at 11:49 PM, SpiritDragon said:

75-100 relationships is a lot is why it seems hard to believe, largely for the reason @Just_A_Guy already mentioned. Even if you went through four relationships a year meaning they last an average of 3 months it would take 25 years to have 100 relationships... so yeah, it's hard to believe because taking someone on a couple dates is not usually considered a committed relationship.

I don't recall anyone suggesting that women never do wrong, but you seem to insist in every thread that they are the scum of the earth. I think you really have some deep-seated issues you need to move past, and I wish you well in doing so. It doesn't surprise me, sadly, to hear that LDS girls have cheated on you - we live in a sad world where human make terrible mistakes and hurt others and the Church is not immune.

Yes! That's a lot. Hard to believe a lot.. I have no idea what average is but I personally likely dated less than twenty girls on even a single occasion, only three or four that verged on being considered any kind of real relationship and only one where we agreed to be exclusive and took to the moniker of boyfriend and girlfriend before getting engaged and married.

Her cheating isn't a foregone conclusion, the evidence given thus far isn't beyond a reasonable doubt so to speak. However, the worldview you have jumps to it automatically being another "good for nothing, lying, cheating woman". I haven't really interpreted anyone as coming to her defence, rather stating that the evidence isn't conclusive. This is consistent with the plea from the OP to help save a marriage. In this light I don't see how suggesting to call it quits accomplishes that. 

I hope you can understand that I'm not trying to pick on you, but to share a perspective to answer your questions. It really is remarkable how you can come across so bitter to half the population and still not even see how rude you are being, and how unhelpful your posts are when they spew forth your hatred for women on every topic under the sun.

LOL,  the evidence isnt conclusive?  The other man admitted it,  How many women get a picture of a man's private, a man that she knows, and it all be just a coincidence.  The woman tried to snatch the phone from him, she knew she was busted. She lied to her parents saying she doesnt know him, yeah right!  Not conclusive?  what more do you need?  I think what we have is two possible scenarios.  Either most of you are some kind of gullible or you guys know its the truth but you are just trying to make the guy feel better by making him think that maybe she didnt do it. From the evidence the guy has there is no doubt she knew the guy and probably asked for the pic. I am not suggesting divorce, if he can live with it, more power to him. But it will happen again more than likely.

"Since getting married she has been doubting whether she made the right decision. She tells me she's depressed and unhappy."     Did any of you read this from the original OP?  Does this sound like a woman that would do something like this?  It sure does to me?   I have been given the same lie by a woman, "I dont know who the man is? This after they texted each other 50 texts.    Some women lie and when they do they really are terrible at it. The problem is most men are so madly in love they dont want to believe it. They dont want to lose what they have in bed every night.

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41 minutes ago, Dillon said:

LOL,  the evidence isnt conclusive?  The other man admitted it,  How many women get a picture of a man's private, a man that she knows, and it all be just a coincidence.  The woman tried to snatch the phone from him, she knew she was busted. She lied to her parents saying she doesnt know him, yeah right!  Not conclusive?  what more do you need?  I think what we have is two possible scenarios.  Either most of you are some kind of gullible or you guys know its the truth but you are just trying to make the guy feel better by making him think that maybe she didnt do it. From the evidence the guy has there is no doubt she knew the guy and probably asked for the pic. I am not suggesting divorce, if he can live with it, more power to him. But it will happen again more than likely.

"Since getting married she has been doubting whether she made the right decision. She tells me she's depressed and unhappy."     Did any of you read this from the original OP?  Does this sound like a woman that would do something like this?  It sure does to me?   I have been given the same lie by a woman, "I dont know who the man is? This after they texted each other 50 texts.    Some women lie and when they do they really are terrible at it. The problem is most men are so madly in love they dont want to believe it. They dont want to lose what they have in bed every night.

How's your wife, Dillon?

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3 hours ago, anatess2 said:

How's your wife, Dillon?

What do you mean?  About like everyone else wife I suppose. Like I mentioned before  I do not dare say anything negative, even though it may be true, about some women's behavior like I do in here because like I said before I am not stupid, I have to live with her.

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"I have to live with her."

1. So is that degree from the Hee Haw gender studies program working out for you?

2. So proud of you for your efforts to put up with a representative of the gender you loathe so..

3. The key to a happy marriage: Six little words every wife needs to hear often.

 

 

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8 hours ago, Dillon said:

LOL,  the evidence isnt conclusive?  The other man admitted it,  How many women get a picture of a man's private, a man that she knows, and it all be just a coincidence.  The woman tried to snatch the phone from him, she knew she was busted. She lied to her parents saying she doesnt know him, yeah right!  Not conclusive?  what more do you need?  I think what we have is two possible scenarios.  Either most of you are some kind of gullible or you guys know its the truth but you are just trying to make the guy feel better by making him think that maybe she didnt do it. From the evidence the guy has there is no doubt she knew the guy and probably asked for the pic. I am not suggesting divorce, if he can live with it, more power to him. But it will happen again more than likely.

"Since getting married she has been doubting whether she made the right decision. She tells me she's depressed and unhappy."     Did any of you read this from the original OP?  Does this sound like a woman that would do something like this?  It sure does to me?   I have been given the same lie by a woman, "I dont know who the man is? This after they texted each other 50 texts.    Some women lie and when they do they really are terrible at it. The problem is most men are so madly in love they dont want to believe it. They dont want to lose what they have in bed every night.

I didn't say the evidence isn't persuasive, I said it's not conclusive - there is a difference. I sure wouldn't want you on jury. What did the man admit? He confessed to flirting and sending a picture which he claims she asked for, he certainly didn't say he's been fooling around with the wife in question. She may have lied about it, but again this is assumption. The whole thing revolves around circumstantial evidence and a he said she said. Did you bother to read @yjacket's well thought out reply? There are other possibilities here, Dillon.

Would I be surprised to learn that she has been cheating? Unfortunately, no. But I do believe in the benefit of the doubt and the strange notion that people should be presumed to be innocent until proven guilty. I really hope for @Blockmichael90's sake that he can find piece with this situation however it resolves. Regardless, quibbling with you does nothing to help our new friend with his situation, so see it how you like and we'll agree to disagree.

@Blockmichael90 I'm sure you're going through a lot right now, but if you check into the forums and see this would you mind giving us a brief update on how you're doing? You'd mentioned feeling like taking your life and I'd feel better hearing from you again to calm my fears that you reached out to strangers in the dark but didn't get the support you needed... Please check in, and please do so frequently if you just need to talk. May I suggest finding someone that you know in person and feel like you can have some candid conversation with about your feelings.

 

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On 9/12/2017 at 5:58 PM, NeuroTypical said:

"I have to live with her."

1. So is that degree from the Hee Haw gender studies program working out for you?

2. So proud of you for your efforts to put up with a representative of the gender you loathe so..

3. The key to a happy marriage: Six little words every wife needs to hear often.

 

 

No that means,  even though women hate other women, you guys stick together like glue when anything "negative" is said coming from a man. So take for instance my wife mentions that one of her girl friends (our friend)  wants a divorce and I know (and I know she knows, deep down she knows, but would never admit it) that the wife is cheating and messing with another man and this is the reason for said divorce.  What do I say or do? yep you guessed it, nothing. Thats why I say "I have to live with her", meaning if she is mad at me, its not good for anyone. "I live with her" is what I should of said, because some of you do not understand southern humor and take it as a mean comment or insult.  I am not going to argue about someone's else's problems and send my wife to bed angry with me, like I said before I am not stupid.

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[Armchair counselor moment with NeuroTypical.  Disclosure - I'm just some random yahoo on the internet - listen to me at your own risk.]

That makes sense Dillon.  So you are in a marriage where you're not free to express your personal beliefs and perspectives without consequence.  Would that be an accurate thing to say?

I figure it's accurate, because all of us married folks are in the same boat here, both male and female.  Opening up and expressing our core perspectives to our spouses are what I call "needle movers" - they can alter the heading and velocity of our marriage.   It's really cool when a couple do all that before they get married, and have some sort of shared understanding and agreement on each others' core beliefs.  When folks are there, opening up tends to be a bonding thing that deepens intimacy.  The needle is moved closer to God, and there are increased good things and decreased bad things.

For many of the rest of us, we find ourselves in marriages where our spouse would probably flip out if we told them what we really think.  A needle could move in a direction that leads down negative paths of hurt and distance.  If I'm accurately describing your marriage here Dillon, please understand I'm not harping on you or judging you.  You're sure not alone. 

So, unless I'm totally off track here, my interaction with you still hasn't changed.  I believe you have some really, REALLY screwed up perspectives, that of course any rational wife would freak out over if she really knew what you think.  Lots of us on this board are offering you advice and perspectives, in hopes that you might dump some of the negative and accept some of the positive. 

It's in the realm of possibility here, to hope for a future you that can be totally open and honest with your wife, and she appreciates what she sees so much she tips over with love.  

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27 minutes ago, NeuroTypical said:

[Armchair counselor moment with NeuroTypical.  Disclosure - I'm just some random yahoo on the internet - listen to me at your own risk.]

That makes sense Dillon.  So you are in a marriage where you're not free to express your personal beliefs and perspectives without consequence.  Would that be an accurate thing to say?

I figure it's accurate, because all of us married folks are in the same boat here, both male and female.  Opening up and expressing our core perspectives to our spouses are what I call "needle movers" - they can alter the heading and velocity of our marriage.   It's really cool when a couple do all that before they get married, and have some sort of shared understanding and agreement on each others' core beliefs.  When folks are there, opening up tends to be a bonding thing that deepens intimacy.  The needle is moved closer to God, and there are increased good things and decreased bad things.

For many of the rest of us, we find ourselves in marriages where our spouse would probably flip out if we told them what we really think.  A needle could move in a direction that leads down negative paths of hurt and distance.  If I'm accurately describing your marriage here Dillon, please understand I'm not harping on you or judging you.  You're sure not alone. 

So, unless I'm totally off track here, my interaction with you still hasn't changed.  I believe you have some really, REALLY screwed up perspectives, that of course any rational wife would freak out over if she really knew what you think.  Lots of us on this board are offering you advice and perspectives, in hopes that you might dump some of the negative and accept some of the positive. 

It's in the realm of possibility here, to hope for a future you that can be totally open and honest with your wife, and she appreciates what she sees so much she tips over with love.  

Yes you are pretty much correct,  If I say one "bad" thing (bad thing meaning anything she doesn't "like", or doesn't want to believe, anything negative no matter if it is true) about any of her friends or any of her family yes she 'flips out". Oh but she can bash my friends and even my family all she wants, thats ok, but if I say something about hers om my gosh, I am a terrible person for saying such, blah blah and I dont know what I am talking about, blah blah.  That is why I try to just keep quiet on any kind of "rumor" that I hear about or anything I disagree with about her family and friends.
 

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2 hours ago, Dillon said:

No that means,  even though women hate other women, you guys stick together like glue when anything "negative" is said coming from a man. So take for instance my wife mentions that one of her girl friends (our friend)  wants a divorce and I know (and I know she knows, deep down she knows, but would never admit it) that the wife is cheating and messing with another man and this is the reason for said divorce.  What do I say or do? yep you guessed it, nothing. Thats why I say "I have to live with her", meaning if she is mad at me, its not good for anyone. "I live with her" is what I should of said, because some of you do not understand southern humor and take it as a mean comment or insult.  I am not going to argue about someone's else's problems and send my wife to bed angry with me, like I said before I am not stupid.

Holy crap bro, you might need some real help.  

I would never live like you live.  If you really can't say how you feel about any subject without having to worry about her going to bed angry at you there are some real issues there.  Honestly if you married someone who has their head in the sand about real life (her cheating loser friend) than you have even bigger problems.

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46 minutes ago, omegaseamaster75 said:

Holy crap bro, you might need some real help.  

I would never live like you live.  If you really can't say how you feel about any subject without having to worry about her going to bed angry at you there are some real issues there.  Honestly if you married someone who has their head in the sand about real life (her cheating loser friend) than you have even bigger problems.

No I can talk about and give my opinion on most anything  EXCEPT anything negative about her family or her friends.  Heck I thought all wives were like that. And also like how when you first start dating they say all your friends are losers, like how when you start getting serious she says you spend way to much time with your friends, like when how you start getting serious she asks why does your brothers have to come over so much, this kind of stuff- like all wives right?   No?   Did I pick a bad one?

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22 minutes ago, Dillon said:

No I can talk about and give my opinion on most anything  EXCEPT anything negative about her family or her friends.  Heck I thought all wives were like that. 

No, in a healthy marriage husband and wife are one and share all thoughts with each other.  

22 minutes ago, Dillon said:

And also like how when you first start dating they say all your friends are losers

If a couple is and the girl thinks all the guys friends all losers, then the couple shouldn't be dating.  1) Your selection of friends is a reflection of who you are, 2) these friends will keep being in the couples lives, 3) there's a big lack of respect component going on.  

This applies equally both ways (girl thinking of guys friends and vise versa).

22 minutes ago, Dillon said:

  No?   Did I pick a bad one?

I would recommend seeing a counselor about getting help for your marriage.

Edited by Jane_Doe
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On 5/29/2017 at 10:08 PM, Blockmichael90 said:

- This whole thread has taken a turn based on this "Dillon" character, so I'm going to address your post as it is.  I don't know how to break up a quote on here, so my comments will begin with a hyphen.

Hello everyone I will make this brief as possible and I will take ANY advice that helps save my marriage. 

Im a recent convert, my wife (gf at the time) had me investigate and I chose to join. We have been together for 6 years married for 1. She is 23 I am 26. 

- So, you've been together since she was 17/18 and you were 20.  Rather young.

Since getting married she has been doubting whether she made the right decision. She tells me she's depressed and unhappy.

- Why do you feel that is?  Sure, you met at a young age and have been together... do you feel that she resents the commitment so early?

I am a person who worries about everything. I worry one day she will cheat or lie.

- Worry is a tax paid in advance before it's due.  Worry is the opposite of trust.  It can also create paranoia.

My worst nightmare became my reality yesterday when I found a picture of another mans (you know what) on her snap chat. She struggled to take her phone before I could get.

- She's not a teenager.  She's your wife.  Why were you going through your wife's phone in the first place?  Do you see a problem here?
- My daughter is almost 14 and I've had some problems with her over the past year.  I have a deal with her and her phone that it is subject to inspection at any time to check for pictures and chat history on social media.  If there's anything I don't like, I can block apps, etc.  That's parenting.  Are you "parenting your wife"???  Do you see a problem there?

I went into a rage. I yelled I screamed i told her hurtful things, the worst part is I grabbed her shoulder and push her away from me a couple times to keep her from taking her phone back.

- Your response to what happened will be hung around your neck MORE than what happened between her and her phone/this man/whoever.  If you go into counseling, expect THIS to be a bigger part of what you talk about.

I am devastated. She is the woman I trust and love and our history is deep and eventful. She is the reason I wake up. I love her more than anything in this world and I left appalled Speech less and in more pain than I could ever explain.

- I get it, but your ACTIONS speak more than your words and well-meaning intentions.  Your worry and paranoia helped to FUEL this situation.  You worry because you DON'T TRUST her - and perhaps that's a reflection of what you're investing back into your marriage?  More on this below.

Her parents do not believe she had been chatting with the man and had asked for any pictures from him.

- This is a marital issue.  Don't bring her parents into your marriage.

I confronted the man and he went on to tell me they had flirted and she said "I wouldn't mind getting a picture" she never opened the Snapchat from him I'm assuming out of guilt but she knew it was there.

- That may be an ASSUMPTION.  You know what happens when we ASSUME, right?

After a lot of yelling and crying and some physical contact and her phone getting broke in the process she has left to her parents.

- Are you surprised by that?

She explained to them she doesn't know the man and he sent that unexpectedly. She lied to them to keep her innocent image with her family. I talked to her father and explained that I talked to the man and verified my wife encouraged him. She even told him she wasn't married. He went on to tell me I should believe my wife only. EVEN THOUGH I CAUGHT HER red handed and confirmed this with the guy.

- Your worries have been confirmed.  Congratulations.  You let your worry and paranoia win.

I'm devastated she has left me and is moving out. She doesn't expect we will be together and I'm now feeling rather suicidal. Please help me anyone. 

- Devastated sure.  Surprised?  I wouldn't be.  She is reacting to you.

Reaching out to another man - no matter how innocent or unintentional it was - is FANTASY.  Marriage is reality and work.  Everything stems back to the root of your whole post:  She's been feeling depressed and unhappy.  And now, she's looking for fulfillment ELSEWHERE because she doesn't have that fulfillment... WITH YOU.

Do you want to know how to eliminate YOUR worry and help her relieve her of her depression?  You invest that worry energy into HER.  You will be fulfilled by fulfilling HER.  The more you do this, your OWN anxieties will decrease because you're building a real relationship rather than just 'living together'.

Watch this video and see if you can identify with this man and his situation, then listen to Tony as he gives him a recommendation and a plan.

 

Edited by skippy740
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On 9/14/2017 at 9:05 AM, Dillon said:

No I can talk about and give my opinion on most anything  EXCEPT anything negative about her family or her friends.  Heck I thought all wives were like that.

No they are not all like that

On 9/14/2017 at 9:05 AM, Dillon said:

And also like how when you first start dating they say all your friends are losers, like how when you start getting serious she says you spend way to much time with your friends, like when how you start getting serious she asks why does your brothers have to come over so much, this kind of stuff- like all wives right? 

No it is not, you should have set expectations. These are all crap tests that (some) women do to see how far they can push you or get you to change.  The reality is that you accommodate to keep her happy all the while building up resentment towards her for giving you a hard time about hanging out with you friends or spending time with your family.

On 9/14/2017 at 9:05 AM, Dillon said:

  No?   Did I pick a bad one?

I don't know you or your wife so I cannot comment as to whether or not you choose well.  Based on what you have told us there are signs of trouble and while they may seem small now multiply it by 20 years and a few kids and they will be a BIG deal.

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  • 2 weeks later...

While I believe the original poster saw what he saw, I still believe he ought to give her the benefit of the doubt because of what someone once did to me.

I received a text 

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Hey, are we getting together tonight?

I looked at the number.  It was NOT my wife.  I figured it was a wrong number text.  I ignored it. 

Another text from the same number.

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We could have some fun tonight.

Again, I ignored. it.

A third time:

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Hey, are you going to talk to me or not?

I responded: I think you've got the wrong number.

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Oh, really?  Well, sucks to be you.

It was so baffling, I simply can't make sense of it.  Could this wife have been victim to similar treatment?  I don't know.

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1 hour ago, Carborendum said:

It was so baffling, I simply can't make sense of it.  Could this wife have been victim to similar treatment?  I don't know.

I got something kinda similar. 

My Facebook account is private so it doesn't come up on a search.  But, because I have an opinion on everything, I comment on public posts.  Apparently, people can go to my profile and message me through those comments.  But the way Facebook Messenger works, people who are not on your friends that sends you a message goes to the Messasge Requests tab.  This tab doesn't show up on my phone (or if it does I have no idea how to get to it).  So, one time (and this rarely happens), I accessed Facebook Messenger from my computer and saw the messages in that tab.  Zooweemama!  I got TONS of people on that tab sending "come hither" messages!  Some even sent immodest pictures!  Anyway, I told my husband he has to be nicer to me because he now has tons of competition.  He laughed.  I was like, why are you laughing, you don't think I can get any one of these guys?  He says, go right ahead, get them.  We looked at each other and laughed our bums off.  Anyway, I since changed my profile picture to be a family picture instead of just my mugshot on it.

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  • 7 months later...

If I caught my wife looking at another dude's meat I'd most likely dip out BUT it really sounds like you want to make it work.

I hope you worked things out. If for some reason this is still an issue, marriage counseling and church meetings with your Bishop are definitely a must.

Best of wishes

*Also don't ever result to killing yourself. Especially over the loss of affection of another person. There are tons of lonely and single people in the world. Easier said than done I know but nonetheless true.

Edited by Overwatch
*
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