Starbucks & beer

[dahlia]

This is Church related to me, but if you need to move to General Discussion, fine.

Two questions: 1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? For those in Utah, does Starbucks have a big selection of non-coffee drinks there?

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

These days I only seem to entertain LDS, but I wondered about those who entertain a wider audience and what they do. We have a bunch of hospital/med school department heads in my ward and I've heard that some will provide liquor for department parties because other people will expect it. I understand that, but wonder what most people here do. For example, I see enough people from the ward when I go grocery shopping, I can't imagine having someone see me with a bunch of liquor bottles in my basket. And yeah, you can say we shouldn't judge and all that, but I'm sure people do. At the very least, they will be curious why Sister Dahlia has bottles of Johnny Walker along with the tofu. 

[Guest MormonGator]

36 minutes ago, dahlia said:

This is Church related to me, but if you need to move to General Discussion, fine.

Two questions: 1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? For those in Utah, does Starbucks have a big selection of non-coffee drinks there?

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

These days I only seem to entertain LDS, but I wondered about those who entertain a wider audience and what they do. We have a bunch of hospital/med school department heads in my ward and I've heard that some will provide liquor for department parties because other people will expect it. I understand that, but wonder what most people here do. For example, I see enough people from the ward when I go grocery shopping, I can't imagine having someone see me with a bunch of liquor bottles in my basket. And yeah, you can say we shouldn't judge and all that, but I'm sure people do. At the very least, they will be curious why Sister Dahlia has bottles of Johnny Walker along with the tofu. 

1)I go to Dunkin Donuts all the time. I don't care if LDS people see me there-they probably wouldn't care anyway. LDS are incredibly tolerant and non judgmental in my view. 

2) Yes. I buy wine for my friends and family and cigars as well. 

[my two cents]

Starbucks - I've gotten something from there (hot chocolate or muffin) maybe three times tops.  For me, it's not about others wondering what I'm ordering, it's about what business I want to support with my money.

Providing alcohol for others - I wouldn't.  What's wrong with helping people see you can have an enjoyable time without the stuff?  Why would I use my money to provide someone something that's not good for them?  There are other ways to be hospitable.

Edited July 5, 2017 by my two cents

[Backroads]

I've had a few non-coffee things from Starbucks and really don't see what the big deal of Starbucks is. Maybe I'm supposed to be drinking the coffee?

No, I wouldn't buy alcohol for guests. There is no social rule that dictates precisely what a host serves.

[Maureen]

My MIL used to have tea available in her home when non-LDS friends, family or guests were visiting.

M.

[NeuroTypical]

3 hours ago, dahlia said:

1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee?  

Yes, and no, not in the slightest.  Gossipy busybodies haven't interested me in any real way other than comic relief, for well over a quarter of a century now.

Quote

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

Nope, with a single exception.  When I was a kid, my father's gall bladder exploded and he almost died.  The doctor said if he didn't give up drinking, he would be dead within a year.  My dad accused him of just saying that because the doctor was Mormon, and then he found a non-LDS doctor who told him the same thing.  So he gave up drinking, for like 20 years.  He got by with near beer.  Then, when he was dying of cancer, we moved him out from his home in Utah to ours in Colorado.  He was absolutely dying, it was only a matter of time.  After he got to Colorado, and before we got him in the hospice, he decided he finally wanted a real beer.  I provided him one.  Then he went into hospice and died within 2 weeks.  (Of the advanced cancer, not of anything alcohol related.)  I'm willing to bend my knee at the feet of my Master on the other side of the veil and answer for my choice.  I think JAG needs to go before I do, so I can retain his services as a heavenly lawyer, I intend to plead "honor thy father".  

So Dahlia, if you have a dying parent with a last wish in your home, let me know, and I'll officially refuse to judge you.   

 

Edited July 6, 2017 by NeuroTypical

[Ironhold]

Starbucks? Land of hipsters and $5-a-shot coffee-flavored mop water? 

If word got out that anyone saw me in a place like that it'd be dismissed outright as false. 

[Backroads]

1 hour ago, Maureen said:

My MIL used to have tea available in her home when non-LDS friends, family or guests were visiting.

M.

I think that's very kind. I have nothing against LDS people keeping such things on hand for guests and I do see the thoughtfulness in it. I just wouldn't do it myself.

[beefche]

4 hours ago, dahlia said:

 

1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? For those in Utah, does Starbucks have a big selection of non-coffee drinks there?

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

 

 

1. Yes. Nope, don't care if they wanna waste time trying to guess and judge my intents and behavior. I find there are quite a few things there to drink without coffee or tea. But, I only go there because I got several gift certificates there for Christmas.

2. Absolutely not. Besides my covenant to not drink alcohol, I abhor alcohol. I just don't think alcohol is a good thing to drink. I've been involved in planning parties for work, school reunions, etc. I flat out told them that I would help organize anything except any alcohol. So, someone else handled that for those parties. I'll go to dinner with friends who order a drink and that doesn't bother me (as long as they keep it reasonable. If they start drinking too much, I leave). 

My non-member friends and cow-orkers know I'm Mormon and don't drink alcohol. So, while I've never insisted they don't drink while I'm around, they also know to not expect me to provide it or hang around if that is the purpose of the social event.

[Sunday21]

I buy alcohol for guests. I go to Starbucks. Some years ago, I met regularly with colleagues at a bar. I have given booze as a gift.

[Backroads]

A year or so a colleague retired and the powers that be decided to buy him a wine stand or whatever they're called and suggested wine or wine-related gifts from everyone to stock it. I wound up just donating cash, thankfully an option, because I don't know a thing about wine. I'm currently reading a novel set on a vineyard in 1940's Napa. Hopefully it'll clue me in.

[Jane_Doe]

1) When its just me, never- the place stinks.  When there is a social event that I am obligated, then yes.  The do have nice (if over priced) milk shakes.

2) If it's me at my house, no.  Somebody else's house where they/we are hosting, then yes. 

[RooTheMormon]

1. I have been to starbucks for hot chocolate and no, II'm not worried someone will think I am drinking coffee. Here in Utah it is cold during the months when I get hot cocoa, so anything that would make me an obvious mormon is covered up. Also, why would I be nervous? I believe that all good LDS people respect the decisions of others- even if they don't agree with them. And no, I do not think Starbucks has more options for mormons.

2. I am too young to legally buy and drink alcohol, but when I am older I do not think I will serve or have alcohol available for my guests. I don't mind if others drink responsibly, but they can do it on their own time and with their own money. It just isn't good for you, and thats why Heavenly Father doesn't want us to have it.

Edited July 18, 2017 by RooTheMormon

[bytebear]

My mom had coffee in the house, and I don't think it was ever used.  I wouldn't bring alcohol to a party, but I wouldn't be offended if a guest brought some.  We covenant to abstain, but we don't force our beliefs on others, so I don't hold them accountable to behaviors they haven't agreed to.  Living in California, smoking has been discouraged governmentally for years, so it's more of a general thing than a Mormon thing.   When I was back East, everyone smoked everywhere, which is a bit jarring.

[Guest]

12 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

After he got to Colorado, and before we got him in the hospice, he decided he finally wanted a real beer.  I provided him one.  Then he went into hospice and died within 2 weeks.  

This reminds me of the dying scene in "Saints and Soldiers."  We really want that guy to have a cigarette.

[Guest]

16 hours ago, dahlia said:

1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? 

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

There's nothing wrong with Starbucks.  I even told the general priesthood that I bought a six-pack of beer for a neighbor.  I don't hold back stuff like that.  If you're going to do something, then own it.  Don't be embarrassed.  Don't be ashamed.  There is nothing wrong with it.  Own it.  I'd even raise my hand in Sunday School and tell as story,"I was in the Starbucks the other day..."

When I entertain, I usually go the cheap route.  Alcoholic beverages are too expensive.  If I were rich, no problem.

Edited July 6, 2017 by Guest

[Maureen]

11 hours ago, bytebear said:

...Living in California, smoking has been discouraged governmentally for years, so it's more of a general thing than a Mormon thing.   When I was back East, everyone smoked everywhere, which is a bit jarring.

In my city and province, smoking in public has become a taboo starting around 1990. For years now rules have been made where you're not allowed to smoke within 20 feet of a building. Smoking inside a building has probably been banned for almost 20 years. Five years ago I went to my niece's wedding in Orem, Utah. I was waiting in the SLC airport for my flight home and was shocked to see a "smoking room". These kind of rooms had been gone for years in my city. I'm hoping 5 years later this room no longer exists.

M.

[Guest MormonGator]

10 minutes ago, Maureen said:

In my city and province, smoking in public has become a taboo starting around 1990. For years now rules have been made where you're not allowed to smoke within 20 feet of a building. Smoking inside a building has probably been banned for almost 20 years. Five years ago I went to my niece's wedding in Orem, Utah. I was waiting in the SLC airport for my flight home and was shocked to see a "smoking room". These kind of rooms had been gone for years in my city. I'm hoping 5 years later this room no longer exists.

M.

So few people smoke cigarettes anymore that I'm sure they'll go away shortly. Cigarettes are sort of a thing of the past. 

Off topic (and I know you aren't doing this @Maureen)-I've seen people rant about the dangers of smoking and I really wish they'd just shut up. As a former smoker (college-age 25ish, haven't smoked cigarettes in years) nothing was worse then people talking about cigarettes. It made me miss them more. When no one talked about it, I was fine because I wasn't thinking about it! 

Edited July 6, 2017 by MormonGator

[Guest Godless]

35 minutes ago, Maureen said:

I was waiting in the SLC airport for my flight home and was shocked to see a "smoking room". These kind of rooms had been gone for years in my city. I'm hoping 5 years later this room no longer exists.

M.

I'm curious why this is. If the smokers are contained in their own area where they can't contaminate your personal air, then what's the problem? Full disclosure, I'm a former smoker. Quit cold turkey 6 years ago. Those rooms were my happy place after a 10 hour trans-Atlantic flight whenever I returned from overseas (which happened several times). What reason is there to take that away?

Also, fun fact, the San Antonio courthouse has one of those rooms as well. I learned that while completing jury duty during my smoking years. 

[Guest MormonGator]

10 minutes ago, Godless said:

I'm curious why this is. If the smokers are contained in their own area where they can't contaminate your personal air, then what's the problem? Full disclosure, I'm a former smoker. Quit cold turkey 6 years ago. Those rooms were my happy place after a 10 hour trans-Atlantic flight whenever I returned from overseas (which happened several times). What reason is there to take that away?

Also, fun fact, the San Antonio courthouse has one of those rooms as well. I learned that while completing jury duty during my smoking years. 

I used an e-ciagrette to quit, one of the very first on the market. I thank the makers of them every day because they helped so many people quit the real thing. 

[NeuroTypical]

Fun story from years ago - my wife once bought cigarettes for a guy.  He was trying to kick his heroin habit, she was working with him.  Bishop was fine with it, once he heard the details.  Kid's mom actually gave my wife money for the cigarettes.  His skin was starting to turn yellow.  ER rooms and death were down one road, the other road involved step-down things like cigarettes.  When he reached a goal he had set, she even bought him a monogrammed zippo lighter.  

I hear he got married a while ago.  Better than filling a coffin somewhere, I think.   

[anatess2]

23 hours ago, dahlia said:

1) Do you go into Starbucks? If so, are you worried that people who know you are LDS will think you are drinking coffee? For those in Utah, does Starbucks have a big selection of non-coffee drinks there?

Yes.  They have good wifi so I sometimes sit there all day working while waiting for my kids to get out of school.  They have a great Protein Bento that I always order for lunch.  I don't normally worry about what people will think if I know my intentions are clean.  I only worry about what people think to gauge what the impact of what I'm doing is on other people and also myself.  I don't want to cause people to go farther from Christ if I can help it.  I also don't want to go farther from Christ and not know it.  I don't find going to Starbucks as bringing people nor myself farther from Christ.

 

23 hours ago, dahlia said:

2) When you entertain a mixed group of LDS & non-LDS, do you serve beer/wine, etc.?

No.  Friends who want to drink can bring their own.  I don't ban it at the door or anything.  But yeah, most people who come to my parties know none of us drink alcohol, coffee, tea nor smoke.

Edited July 6, 2017 by anatess2

[Maureen]

23 hours ago, Godless said:

I'm curious why this is. If the smokers are contained in their own area where they can't contaminate your personal air, then what's the problem? Full disclosure, I'm a former smoker. Quit cold turkey 6 years ago. Those rooms were my happy place after a 10 hour trans-Atlantic flight whenever I returned from overseas (which happened several times). What reason is there to take that away?

Also, fun fact, the San Antonio courthouse has one of those rooms as well. I learned that while completing jury duty during my smoking years. 

I think mostly the evolution of making smoking in public difficult has gone through these stages. When the "smoking room" was eventually a thing of the past, seeing one was like going back in time. I'm not a smoker, never have been; but in going forward, I'm glad the "smoking room" is going away or should have gone away by now. If a person wishes to smoke privately in their own space, they can. But if they wish to share their smoke with the public, there should be measures to make it as difficult as possible and the 2nd hand smoke does not stay contained in those "smoking rooms". Probably why they should not exist.

M.

Edited July 7, 2017 by Maureen

[Budget]

I know of people who absolutely will not go to Starbucks even if they were just going to get a fruit drink - because they are afraid someone from their ward will see them and think they are getting or drinking coffee.  So I think 'some' people do and 'some' people don't.  On that same level there are some people who would see a fellow LDS go into Starbucks and be judgemental and gossipy about it - and others that wouldn't bat an eye at it, would assume a fruit drink or wouldn't even care either way. 

 

[NeuroTypical]

Jews don't recognize Christ as the Messiah.

Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the successor of Peter.

Mormons don't recognize each other at Starbucks on Sunday.