The lord is NOT confused on how to help


MortalLife
 Share

Recommended Posts

Dealing with life circumstances surrounding my divorce:

Going home after work when it's not my turn with the kids. I feel at the end of a long day of work that I want to go home to a reward.  A place of greater purpose, where I can feel this is what it was all for.  However, unfortunately that is not always what is waiting for me.  When driving home I have the thoughts of, there is no family waiting for me, it’s only my loneliness there.  I can't begin to tell you how deflating that is, especially when I allow my mind to think about it.  And what's worse once I am home is that I don't stop thinking about my isolation. I think about what used to exist within those walls, all the laughing, playing and serving one another. Sure there was crying, putting out fights and exhaustion. But in my mind the pros always outweighed the cons.

I need to change my way of thinking. I need to realize what is really missing. Having someone always there is not a realistic and constant thing. It's not fair that I expect on others for happiness. Sure it makes me happy to have family and friends around me. But the absence of that can't be what I'm currently making it and that is feelings of loneliness and self pity. Circumstances are not always ideal in life. Hard things happen. It's exhausting to be thinking of ways of changing the past and knowing that there is no solution for that thought process.  

At times I lose concentration when I tried to think about ways of making life better.  I'm realizing it takes considerable effort to remain secure and confident.  Contentment doesn't just happen, it takes a lot of practice. Sometimes I forget everything I have taught myself and feel as though I'm starting over. I feel like the only way I'm ever going to get better is to rewire the way my brain thinks. The outlook that I need to have.  A positive perspective to challenges.  Instinctively able to look at any given situation and taking a moment to, choose to look at what's good. Instead of looking at what's hard, painful or unfair.

I think about the Savior walking on the water in the middle of a storm.  I think about how he was calm.  That his physical environment didn't change the peace he felt.  I feel like Peter, I want to walk out to him but my environment causes me to look down and lose faith. I try to remind myself what the Savior did for Peter.  Jesus told him to take courage and not to be afraid. But when Peter doubted and cried for help, it was Jesus who Immediately reached out his hand and caught him. While saving Peter Jesus had a question for him and that was “why did you doubt?”  I have to determine that question applies to me too. Why do I doubt?  I guess simply put I'm focusing more on my environment then on him.  The Savior has a way of taking the most complex situation and making it simplified by just looking to him.  So that is what I'm going to keep trying to do.  Whether it's on the drive home or in life's simple and great complications, I will look to him.  Remembering that when I need to cry for help, to have the faith that he will catch me.

I consider myself a private person and I just needed to share my testimony, Thanks

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share