Special Needs Children


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My BIL and his wife have a special needs child -- sort of.  I've mentioned bits and pieces of his condition before.  But I really found the attitudes of his parents to be more enlightening than anything.

They told how, when they first learned of his condition, that various counselors and medical advisers warned them that 95% of couples with this level of special needs children end up divorced.  My OTHER BIL mentioned how he didn't see why anyone would do that. "There are very few problems in a family where adding divorce into the pot actually makes the situation better.  Yeah, so, we're having difficulty coping with this, so let's make it even more complicated by getting a divorce over it."

The mother of the child explained how whenever she is just worn out and can't go another step, her husband is there and willing to take over.  When he's completely worn out, then she's got energy and she can take over.  She can't even comprehend how others would do it without being there for each other.

The father said that he often heard other parents say,"I don't have a special needs child.  I have a great blessing from the Lord."  He thought it was just a cliche'. But now that he's in the situation himself, he completely understands.  It's not a cliche'.  It is absolutely true.  "I'm not going to deny the extra effort or energy we have to put into his care.  But every day, he blesses us."  His smile just melts everyone's heart.  His other children don't feel deprived of attention. They pitch in to help whenever they can.  They all love him completely.  Their job as parents is easier because of his presence. 

I'd only seen him when he was much younger and didn't really interact.  I'd heard all sorts of third hand information on the difficulties they're having, and the horrible medical issues they deal with all the time.  But this week I got to see him in person.  There is no way to not be happy around this guy.  His smile, his hugs. his overall impact.  He can't speak, but he communicates in other ways that amaze anyone paying attention.  Nothing I can say will do him justice.  You'd just have to be around him.  But there's not denying he truly is a special spirit.  So, when my BIL said he did not have a special needs child, I completely understood.  He's not a burden.  He's a blessing.

To give you an idea of some of the physical challenges:  He couldn't crawl until about 2-1/2 y.o.  He "wormed" his way around up to about 18 months old.  He's unable to speak beyond mono-syllabic grunts.  His vision is so impaired that he requires soda-bottle glasses.  He also doesn't quite understand gravity. He's always waking off the edge of things.  And that is a problem when they live in a split-level home.

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  • 2 weeks later...

What a wonderful tribute.  I have some special needs children, and I agree, that although there are challenges, they bring such a wonderful spirit and our a blessing in our home.  I too have a nonverbal child.  I believe these children , verbal and nonverbal, are so special and have been so vailiant and our protected from the adversary.  I believe they have  a special mission on this earth. I believe the parents & family that have a child(ren) like that to grace their home, have  a special mission to do that and will be blessed.  This life is about serving others and seeing beauty and joy in the simple things.  I believe children like this our so in tune spiritually and help us focus on what is really important.

 

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