What is a good way to start a conversation with a girl in my singles ward?


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38 minutes ago, Danny Phantom said:

She is, and I considered that option, but I'm just trying to do this in the most natural, least socially awkward way I can manage.  I'm not socially awkward, but I also am not very experienced dating so I'm not really too familiar with the do's and do not's of dating.  Something about getting her phone number from LDS tools and randomly texting her with no reason aside from, "Hey I want to call you to ask you out because I know I'm not supposed to do it over text." doesn't exactly give me the vibe of not socially awkward, if that makes sense.  Haha!

Heh, the initial "hello" could be a little awkward, but past then you're fine.  You're not a stranger just randomly calling some random girl.  You're a guy she knows asking if she wants to do something.

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4 hours ago, Danny Phantom said:

She is, and I considered that option, but I'm just trying to do this in the most natural, least socially awkward way I can manage.  I'm not socially awkward, but I also am not very experienced dating so I'm not really too familiar with the do's and do not's of dating.  Something about getting her phone number from LDS tools and randomly texting her with no reason aside from, "Hey I want to call you to ask you out because I know I'm not supposed to do it over text." doesn't exactly give me the vibe of not socially awkward, if that makes sense.  Haha!

When I was in a small singles ward before LDS Tools was a common thing, there was a guy who got a ward directory from the clerk and went through the list alphabetically, calling girls he knew and were unattached and going on dates with them. When he called me the first time, he said "Hi, this is Johnny Phantom from the ward. I was just calling to see if you would like to go on a date with me sometime." I agreed, we went to lunch that Saturday, and that was that. As long as you treat her like a person when you call her (and not some goddess you're star-struck about talking to) you should be ok.

Pro tip: you'll have better luck talking to her on Sundays if you sit adjacent to her in either sacrament or Sunday School. Start talking before she stands up.

Edited by seashmore
Grammar
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6 hours ago, Danny Phantom said:

So, I've talked to her several times the past couple of weeks, but haven't had a chance to have a good conversation with her because she's always talking to a friend and I never really get in a good opportunity to ask her out.  That, and I only see her once a week at church, and then if I want to approach this in person, I have to wait a whole other week until I *might* get a chance again.  The past couple of weeks I haven't been able to go to YSA activities during the week because of work and school.  I am friends with her on Facebook, so maybe I could talk to her on there, get her number, and call to ask her out.  I don't know.  I know the whole, "Don't ask them out any other way than in person or over the phone, but I only see her once a week and even then it's a roll of the dice of whether I get a good opportunity to say more to her than, "Hey, how are you?".  I don't want to seem overly interested or creepy or anything, so if after church she's busy talking to multiple other girls, I just end up going home because 1) I'm not going to just stand there and wait for a chance to talk to her, because that does make me seem over interested and socially awkward and 2) walking up and trying to talk to her while she's talking to other people would be equally weird of me to do.  I'm just lost on what I can do.  Haha!  Advice appreciated if anyone has anymore to give.  You've all already given me some great advice and I really appreciate it, by the way!

I don't see anything wrong with doing what you've said (talk to her via Facebook, get her number, then go from there). I actually just recently helped my cousin do the exact same thing as he didn't get a chance to talk to this girl at church either but wanted to find a way to ask her out. I helped him find the best way to say "hey" over Facebook and then get her number, and it worked. I say go for it! 

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On 9/17/2017 at 11:32 PM, BeccaKirstyn said:

I don't see anything wrong with doing what you've said (talk to her via Facebook, get her number, then go from there). I actually just recently helped my cousin do the exact same thing as he didn't get a chance to talk to this girl at church either but wanted to find a way to ask her out. I helped him find the best way to say "hey" over Facebook and then get her number, and it worked. I say go for it! 

You can always start out saying something like "Hey, I know asking you this over Facebook is kind of lame, but I've tired getting a chance to ask in person and it hasn't worked out and I don't want to put it off any longer so... "

If you acknowledge your not doing it the best way right at the start, people are likely to cut you some slack for it.

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I was rather unsuccessful with the ladies myself (pretty much a crippling fear of rejection made dating an immense chore for me). When I finally worked up the courage to ask my future wife out, I did it in the most wishy, washy manner imaginable. I said, in an email, something along the lines of "If you aren't busy sometime, and if you are I don't blame you and I completely understand, maybe you would like to see a movie sometime...etc". She actually had to ask her brother and check if I was asking her out on a date or not, and was not just asking her if she likes going to movies lol. Fortunately, she was happy once she deciphered my intent, and she likes to tease me about it now, but if a girl senses your kindness and sincerity she really won't care about how you asked, she just will be happy you did☺.

Edited by Midwest LDS
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