a mustard seed

Bishop - Taking Away a Temple Recommend?

Recommended Posts

So, I was wondering, when would a bishop take away a temple recommend if you stopped going to church? Would he let you know? Or would you just visit the temple and when they scan it, "Oh, I'm sorry, it's not valid anymore. Go talk to your bishop."?

What's happening: So, the week before the eclipse in August, I got my second job at the Super 8 hotel! Yay! So for the last month or so, I've been working 65 hours a week. Yahoo! Dollah, dollah bills, ya'll! But my job at the call center had me working one Sunday a month. And now, since all the old school gals at the Super 8 decided to be flakey as all get out lately and got theirselves fired today, my boss wants to make me her assistant and now I have to work Sundays, 9-1 there. Yaaayyyy.... And today, I changed my schedule at the call center because I need a day off sometime and Saturdays, the only shifts available are 8 hour shifts and I have to either work every Sunday OR work every Saturday and just one Sunday a month. ...So I chose Sunday. 3-8 because I work at the Super 8 9-2 basically every single day. My sacrament meeting starts at 1:30.

Because of these shifting things going on, my attendance has been spotty. I went 2 weeks ago but then this last week was my "one Sunday" for the call center and so I went to a different ward, earlier in the day. But then I'm thinking, "My bishop probably doesn't know that." And I wasn't able to get done at Super 8 until too late today because of all the...um..."position changes" happening. My cousin gets married in the Idaho Falls temple October 7th and I'd really like to be able to go. I'm going to try to keep going, since my church building is actually positioned between my two jobs, I could make it for the hour for sacrament meeting. But it's a YSA ward in a college town and you have to schedule a meeting with the bishop in order to just sit down and talk with him.

I was just wondering because he hasn't known me for longer than 2 months and I'm scared he'll think I'm inactive...because temporarily, I have been as I've been trying to sort juggling all the things. I just wanted to know how this sort of thing works, even though I know the most likely answer is that it is based on individual circumstances and the revelation he receives on how to deal with my specific circumstances. And yes, in b4 "talk to your bishop!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
10 minutes ago, a mustard seed said:

So, I was wondering, when would a bishop take away a temple recommend if you stopped going to church? Would he let you know? Or would you just visit the temple and when they scan it, "Oh, I'm sorry, it's not valid anymore. Go talk to your bishop."?

What's happening: So, the week before the eclipse in August, I got my second job at the Super 8 hotel! Yay! So for the last month or so, I've been working 65 hours a week. Yahoo! Dollah, dollah bills, ya'll! But my job at the call center had me working one Sunday a month. And now, since all the old school gals at the Super 8 decided to be flakey as all get out lately and got theirselves fired today, my boss wants to make me her assistant and now I have to work Sundays, 9-1 there. Yaaayyyy.... And today, I changed my schedule at the call center because I need a day off sometime and Saturdays, the only shifts available are 8 hour shifts and I have to either work every Sunday OR work every Saturday and just one Sunday a month. ...So I chose Sunday. 3-8 because I work at the Super 8 9-2 basically every single day. My sacrament meeting starts at 1:30.

Because of these shifting things going on, my attendance has been spotty. I went 2 weeks ago but then this last week was my "one Sunday" for the call center and so I went to a different ward, earlier in the day. But then I'm thinking, "My bishop probably doesn't know that." And I wasn't able to get done at Super 8 until too late today because of all the...um..."position changes" happening. My cousin gets married in the Idaho Falls temple October 7th and I'd really like to be able to go. I'm going to try to keep going, since my church building is actually positioned between my two jobs, I could make it for the hour for sacrament meeting. But it's a YSA ward in a college town and you have to schedule a meeting with the bishop in order to just sit down and talk with him.

I was just wondering because he hasn't known me for longer than 2 months and I'm scared he'll think I'm inactive...because temporarily, I have been as I've been trying to sort juggling all the things. I just wanted to know how this sort of thing works, even though I know the most likely answer is that it is based on individual circumstances and the revelation he receives on how to deal with my specific circumstances. And yes, in b4 "talk to your bishop!"

If the bishop was concerned, he would call you in and ask you what was going on, and at that point you could explain your job situation.

That said, I am not sure if this 65 hours a week schedule is temporary or permanent.  If it is permanent, you should seriously consider doing something to reduce your hours!  Not only are you missing Church, but you are missing life too!  You are only young once, and working 65 hours a week sounds hardly like living the good life.  Just saying!

Since you seem to be going somewhere with the Super 8 job, perhaps it is time to consider retiring the call center job?  Because frankly, a call center job sounds like pure torture to my introverted self.  

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, DoctorLemon said:

If the bishop was concerned, he would call you in and ask you what was going on, and at that point you could explain your job situation.

That said, I am not sure if this 65 hours a week schedule is temporary or permanent.  If it is permanent, you should seriously consider doing something to reduce your hours!  Not only are you missing Church, but you are missing life too!  You are only young once, and working 65 hours a week sounds hardly like living the good life.  Just saying!

Since you seem to be going somewhere with the Super 8 job, perhaps it is time to consider retiring the call center job?  Because frankly, a call center job sounds like pure torture to my introverted self.  

 

 

 

It is temporary. I start school in January so will only be working one of the jobs while taking classes. Undecided which one yet. The plan is, to get the education so I can do what I love but until then, I'm willing to sacrifice time and socializing to make money to save and pay rent. For now, I will work both for as long as I can.

Aw, the call center is not so bad! :D Most of the time it is just a ringing phone in my ear because people don't answer if they don't recognize the number or caller ID. So, I doodle and write while waiting and dialing. I'm kind of just letting them pay me until they figure out they're outdated and can't compete with the modern age.

That sounds good about the bishop. I was hoping he'd contact me somehow if he felt I needed to be changing something or if he wanted to know what was going on.

Edited by a mustard seed

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, a mustard seed said:

So, I was wondering, when would a bishop take away a temple recommend if you stopped going to church? Would he let you know? Or would you just visit the temple and when they scan it, "Oh, I'm sorry, it's not valid anymore. Go talk to your bishop."?

It is my understanding that when a recommend is taken away (that has never happened to me) it is done in person, and is regarding a grave sin (usually revolving immorality).  I once had a schedule where I had to work Sunday, and it caused me to miss church for an entire year (what was I thinking, LOL).  I just explained the situation to my Bishop and I did not lose my recommend.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you are not a full tithe payer and say so at your tithing settlement, then the Bishop could take away your recommend. I doubt if your recommend would be taken away for working on Sundays.

Also, if you smoke, drink or carouse around, then your recommend quite possibly would be taken away.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay, that sounds reasonable and makes me feel better that he would talk to me in person first. I do pay a full tithe online and I do not carouse around. I barely have time for church, lol, I certainly don't have time to go around partying it up.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Most bishops I've known, are very happy to have the chance to just talk to people and get to know them a little.  They have access to reports that tell them things (like a list of members with expired recommends), but most of them learn to not jump to conclusions after their first week of being a bishop.  

One thing bishops learn real fast - they have more than enough work to do, no reason to add guesswork to the pile.

Music to a bishop's ears: "Hi bishop, I just wanted to stop by and say that I know my recommend is expired, and no, it's not because I'm inactive or apostate or whatever.  Just things have been hectic."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you have a current temple recommend?  If so, then no problem.  Go to the temple, enjoy the wedding.  Trust me, your bishop isn't going over roll sheets, and comparing them to temple recommends held.  

If you have an expired temple recommend, and you are new to the ward, then the Bishop is required to contact your former Bishop to discuss if  there are any problems or reasons why he shouldn't issue you a new recommend.  If that conversation goes well, then you should have no problem.  If you are concerned about your attendance, then discuss with the Bishop.  He will understand your constraints.

Edited by mdfxdb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@a mustard seed, the temple recommend question about attendance is "do you *strive* to attend your meetings" (emphasis mine).  If you honestly can't make it due to external constraints, bishops are understanding of that.  One example: my dad works at a hospital- Sunday work is a nonnegotiable fact of life, and no bishop has ever had a problem with it.  

Another example:  I had a retail job and had to work Sundays else I was fired.  Again the bishop was understanding.  I was able to eventually negotiate work to allow me to close Sunday so I could at least attend Sacrament meeting-- at a totally different ward, but I was there for Sacrament.  My home bishop was very happy for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
17 hours ago, LiterateParakeet said:

It is my understanding that when a recommend is taken away (that has never happened to me) it is done in person, and is regarding a grave sin (usually revolving immorality).  I once had a schedule where I had to work Sunday, and it caused me to miss church for an entire year (what was I thinking, LOL).  I just explained the situation to my Bishop and I did not lose my recommend.  

A bishop certainly could revoke a recommend electronically. It happens when a recommend is lost or stolen, or if a recommend holder acts in a clearly unworthy manner and refuses to surrender his recommend. I don't think any of those apply in this case, so I agree with LP that the bishop would set up an appointment with you and talk about what's going on before just revoking your recommend. If you're concerned about it, you should talk to the executive secretary and set up an appointment with the bishop.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for the responses. Yes, I do have a current temple recommend but it was the part that @Jane_Doe mentioned in the interview questions that had me concerned, because I didn't remember the phrasing exactly, only that it comes up in order to get the recommend. That's mostly what I was worried about and I literally work all day every day except after 2 on Saturdays. But no, you're right @Vort, I should have taken the initiative if it were really important to me. I got a text from the executive secretary tonight(either my bishop has an account here and saw my thread, lol, or Heavenly Father let him know this was a concern of mine and that we needed to meet; I felt the Spirit very strongly when having a sit down with him when I first met him, so, definitely the latter) and we'll try for Saturday but if not, I told him I'd make the other days he's available work. And I know if I said something like that, my work is full of LDS and they love me, so, they'd be willing to let me go early to make a meeting with the bishop if I asked. So, yes, it's silly to make a thread asking a question when I am now taking steps that I could have if it was a priority to me to begin with.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
6 minutes ago, a mustard seed said:

So, yes, it's silly to make a thread asking a question when I am now taking steps that I could have if it was a priority to me to begin with.

I think you are being too hard on yourself.  This is a "discussion" board...we are here to talk about stuff.  There's no problem with you asking. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, LiterateParakeet said:

I think you are being too hard on yourself.  This is a "discussion" board...we are here to talk about stuff.  There's no problem with you asking. 

The sacrament is important and Sunday is a sacred day and I haven't been very responsible for my salvation lately, thinking I can put this off or whine about it here. It is okay to be reminded, even if it's in a firm tone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/18/2017 at 9:44 PM, a mustard seed said:

The sacrament is important and Sunday is a sacred day and I haven't been very responsible for my salvation lately, thinking I can put this off or whine about it here. It is okay to be reminded, even if it's in a firm tone.

For the record, my tone was not intended to be "firm". More like "encouraging", in the sense of "grab this bull by the horns and get this resolved so you don't worry about it".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On September 18, 2017 at 11:44 PM, a mustard seed said:

The sacrament is important and Sunday is a sacred day and I haven't been very responsible for my salvation lately, thinking I can put this off or whine about it here. It is okay to be reminded, even if it's in a firm tone.

:bearhug:

Just wanted to make sure you got an increase of love after the "rebuke." ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'll share with you a situation from my youth.  I don't remember exactly what I did to provoke this, but my father punched me in the stomach.  I had a hard time breathing for a few minutes, but no lasting damage otherwise.  It certainly wasn't a regular occurrence, which is why it stuck out in my mind.

My parents went to see the bishop, and the bishop took away BOTH of my parent's recommends - suggesting that my mother should've been able to stop it or something.  (Hey, I was in the 6th grade but I don't remember all the justifications at the time.)

I suggest that a lack of church attendance won't warrant invalidating your recommend, but not living the gospel or following the commandments/standards as outlined in the temple recommend interview.  One of the recommend questions is about relations with your family - situations of abuse and things like that, so I'm sure that's the reason for taking their recommends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not feeling too great tonight. Got a message from the exec secretary on Wednesday that the Bishop wanted to meet me at his house on Friday. I even asked "Friday?" because I told him I had Saturday evening free but would move things around if necessary. Well, okay, so, he gives me the address and it's clear across town from my work but I'm thinking I can make it in half an hour(and I was going to have to since Wednesday I texted him and told him 6 or 6:30). So, day of, I am able to work things out with my job but of course, the last two hours of my shift I have to make them up tomorrow, so, I DON'T actually have a day off from one of my jobs now. I'm nervous about what he wants to talk to me about. I'm nervous about finding his house. I'm nervous about being there on time. But I am practically running and I get there five minutes after 6:30. And I ring the doorbell, my ankle aching from pounding the pavement to get there and the babysitter answers. Yes it is the Bishop's house. No he's not there and he won't be home until 9.

So, I'm crying as I walk home and call the exec secretary, wondering what I did wrong and he apologizes profusely and tells me it probably slipped the Bishop's mind. Yeah, that's what I want to hear right now. The Bishop forgot about me. Turns out he didn't. Our meeting is for tomorrow. I am just really overwhelmed and sad right now. I tried to make the exec secretary feel better about the mistake but I was very tempted to just tell everyone to forget about it and leave me alone. It's stressing me out even more trying to set up meetings with this guy while trying to make everything else work.

Thank you everyone for the responses.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@mustardseed I can sympathize. Soon after I was set apart as YW Pres, I got an email saying branch council is the 2nd and 4th Sundays at 8. The Sunday before last (which would have been the second Sunday) I showed up a little bit before 8, and no one else was there. I could have been annoyed that no one had told me there wouldn't be one, but it had happened before. I was upset that my dad had called as I was on my way out the door, and it would've been nice to talk to him. (By the time I got home, he would have been on his way out the door.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mustard Seed,

 

Relax, if it were disciplinary, you'd already know. He's probably just checking in with you to see how you're doing, how you're feeling, are you alright, is there anything he can do to help. You've not done ANYTHING to get your temple rec pulled. 

Heck, I have a temple rec and THAT is saying something! The church is far more understanding than ***WE*** are.  Remember the words of Christ, my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Do NOT be afraid of your Bishop, a far higher authority loves you unconditionally, we named out church after him. If Christ would kiss your cheek, dry your eyes, a bishop has an even greater duty to exemplify the bidding of our savior. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, skippy740 said:

Bishop probably wants to extend a calling to you.  :)

This was my thought. Either the bishop has seen that you're stressed and wants to talk with you, or he's going to call you to something. In any case, don't worry! (At least, don't worry the way you were worrying...you might instead worry about what he's going to call you to.) :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now