ElMattio91 Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 Ok so let me start off by saying I know these feelings are wrong and inappropriate because she's here to serve the lord and theres like a 0% chance she would feel the same because her heart is 100% dedicated to her mission, but like the title says, I indeed really like this sister missionary. So I was baptised in December of last year and since then I have seen so many sister missionaries come and go, I loved all of them. but just in the same way I love all of the missionaries (including Elders) but this is different. She came to my ward not last transfer but the one before, so about 10 weeks ago now. The second I saw her, she was just breathtaking. not just because of her physical beauty but because you could clearly see the spirit in her by the look on her face and her body language. We were introduced and we spoke for ages. We had a lot of the same interests and just seem to hit it off. But what did it for me was when she bore her testimony, I dunno I can't really describe it, it was just beautiful. And listening to her read from scriptures just makes my heart feel like its going to jump out of my chest. I know she will probably get transferred soon and the thought of that breaks my heart because I can't bare the thought of never seeing her again. like I said, I know these feelings are innapropiate but I can't help it If anybody has any advice to help me stop feeling like this it would be really appreciated Thanks Matt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 Time is the only solution I know of. Sure, you could try diverting your thoughts, avoiding time with her as much as possible, etc., but in the end, it will take time. And it's pretty much guaranteed that after enough time out of her presence, the feelings will fade (unless you deliberately feed them). seashmore, Vort and Midwest LDS 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 (edited) 23 minutes ago, ElMattio91 said: Ok so let me start off by saying I know these feelings are wrong and inappropriate because she's here to serve the lord and theres like a 0% chance she would feel the same because her heart is 100% dedicated to her mission, but like the title says, I indeed really like this sister missionary. So I was baptised in December of last year and since then I have seen so many sister missionaries come and go, I loved all of them. but just in the same way I love all of the missionaries (including Elders) but this is different. She came to my ward not last transfer but the one before, so about 10 weeks ago now. The second I saw her, she was just breathtaking. not just because of her physical beauty but because you could clearly see the spirit in her by the look on her face and her body language. We were introduced and we spoke for ages. We had a lot of the same interests and just seem to hit it off. But what did it for me was when she bore her testimony, I dunno I can't really describe it, it was just beautiful. And listening to her read from scriptures just makes my heart feel like its going to jump out of my chest. I know she will probably get transferred soon and the thought of that breaks my heart because I can't bare the thought of never seeing her again. like I said, I know these feelings are innapropiate but I can't help it If anybody has any advice to help me stop feeling like this it would be really appreciated Thanks Matt You probably shouldn't talk about your feelings to her right now because she is a missionary and needs to focus on that. A confession of love to a missionary may result in much heartache for both of you since you can't act on it at all right now, at least not righteously (and could make things pretty awkward). If you confess your feelings, she could also suffer the dreaded "love transfer" where a missionary is transferred away to avoid any potential temptation. But she isn't going to be a missionary in what, a few months to a year? Maybe, without letting on that you like this sister, you should ask for her address so you can write her after she gets home. And then, once she gets home from her mission, write her and see where things go! I do know people from my old mission who married local members (a sister missionary and a recent convert, in fact). They waited until after her mission like they should, kept contact, and when the time was right, started a relationship. My mission was in France, so they were able to initiate a long distance relationship after she had finished her mission, which eventually led to marriage. They have been married for fourteen years now! Just saying a relationship is not totally out of the question for later. But don't let on your feelings right now. Keep them to yourself for now, and let her finish her mission, and perhaps after, in a year or so, the time will be right for a relationship. Edited September 22, 2017 by DoctorLemon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElMattio91 Posted September 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 16 minutes ago, zil said: Time is the only solution I know of. Sure, you could try diverting your thoughts, avoiding time with her as much as possible, etc., but in the end, it will take time. And it's pretty much guaranteed that after enough time out of her presence, the feelings will fade (unless you deliberately feed them). Yeah, only trouble is diverting the time as I see her at church and I sometimes help teach with her and her companion haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElMattio91 Posted September 22, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 6 minutes ago, DoctorLemon said: You probably shouldn't talk about your feelings to her right now because she is a missionary and needs to focus on that. A confession of love to a missionary may result in much heartache for both of you since you can't act on it at all right now, at least not righteously (and could make things pretty awkward). If you confess your feelings, she could also suffer the dreaded "love transfer" where a missionary is transferred away to avoid any potential temptation. But she isn't going to be a missionary in what, a few months to a year? Maybe, without letting on that you like this sister, you should ask for her address so you can write her after she gets home. And then, once she gets home from her mission, write her and see where things go! I do know people from my old mission who married local members (a sister missionary and a recent convert, in fact). They waited until after her mission like they should, kept contact, and when the time was right, started a relationship. My mission was in France, so they were able to initiate a long distance relationship after she had finished her mission, which eventually led to marriage. They have been married for fourteen years now! Just saying a relationship is not totally out of the question for later. But don't let on your feelings right now. Keep them to yourself for now, and let her finish her mission, and perhaps after, in a year or so, the time will be right for a relationship. Yeah, don't worry. I'm not going to mention to her or anyone at church about my feelings for her as I know that is inappropriate. She finishes her mission in 4 months and then goes back to Albania. Thanks for the advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdfxdb Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 Tell her you would like to be friends with her after her mission, and ask for her home address, or friend her on Facebook. Then forget about her for 4 months. Midwest LDS, mrmarklin and seashmore 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 Just now, ElMattio91 said: Yeah, don't worry. I'm not going to mention to her or anyone at church about my feelings for her as I know that is inappropriate. She finishes her mission in 4 months and then goes back to Albania. Thanks for the advice Four months is nothing! It will be over before you realize. And, seeing how you live in the UK, you can easily drive and see her (Albania is the same distance from the UK as I am in Houston, Texas from my brother in Utah). I thought you were talking about a girl about to fly back to Utah or something! I would very definitely consider keeping in touch after her mission and see what comes of it. Don't act on the feelings just yet, but when the time is right and she is off her mission, I would certainly reach out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwest LDS Posted September 22, 2017 Report Share Posted September 22, 2017 (edited) Yep just ask to keep in touch with her (I'm friends on Facebook with a lot of missionaries who have served in my area, although for different reasons lol, so that shouldn't distract her from her service). Then when she goes home in 4 months go for it, it never hurts to ask☺. Edited September 22, 2017 by Midwest LDS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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