Palerider Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Why did the elephant cross the street??? Because the chicken did not feel like it..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 Where did the kittens go on a class trip? To the meow-seum. What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me. Ah hahahahahahahahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 16, 2007 Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 What did one firecracker say to the other firecracker??? My pop is bigger than yours..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2007 nice one Pale. :) What do outlaws eat with their milk? Crookies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 nice one Pale. :) What do outlaws eat with their milk? Crookies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Why won't a bike stand up by itself? It's two tired. Ba dump dump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Traveler Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 These are to be lame, dud or horrible jokes only. I get a kick out of them sometimes. I'll start:Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines! I can always tell when a train has passed by - if you look carefully you too can see it tracks.Do you know what you can do with an elephant on the freeway? Almost 26 mph.How can you tell if you just passed and elephant? The toilet won't flush.Please do not make me explain these.The Traveler Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 none needed. Those were good. Thank you Traveler :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash? To the dump to the dump to the dump dump dump (sung to the theme song) Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Thanks Pammy. That reminded me of this one: What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanilla Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant...This one made me laugh out loud!!! Thanks Dr. T.....now I will have that song in my head for the rest of the day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 my pleasure Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hanne_line Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 My daughter have alot of jokes, here is one of them: Why did the rabbit throw the clock out the window? -Because he wanted to see how time fly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Thanks HLJ :) What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
checkerboy Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Pam you took mine. I think the monkey joke was the funniest I have ever heard in my life. You have to make sure you say the punch line very matter-of-factly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outshined Posted October 17, 2007 Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 Q. What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?A. Nacho cheese.Q. What did the grape say wheh it was stepped on?A. Nothing; it just let out a little wine... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 17, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2007 nice! Where do pigs park their cars? In porking lots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 what is a Bunny's motto???? don't frown be hoppy what is a cats favorite color???? purr-ple Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 get ready to groan... A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew the doctor's habit and would always have a drink waiting. But one day the bartender ran out of hazelnut extract, so he substituted hickory nuts. When the doctor arrived, he took a sip and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," the bartender replied. "It's a hickory daiquiri, doc." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palerider Posted October 18, 2007 Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 what kind of shorts do clouds wear??? thunderwear why did the pig go into the kitchen??? it felt like bacon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 18, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 18, 2007 Why did the New Yorker sleep under an oil tank? He wanted to wake up oily. Why wouldn't the bald man let anyone use his comb? He couldn't part with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pam Posted October 19, 2007 Report Share Posted October 19, 2007 Pam you took mine.I think the monkey joke was the funniest I have ever heard in my life. You have to make sure you say the punch line very matter-of-factly.And with a straight face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonasunde Posted October 21, 2007 Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 There were two muffins in the oven, and one looked to the other and said, "Is it just me, or is it hot in here?" The other screamed, "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!" (cookies work too) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2007 I love it Lona. THank you for that one. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr T Posted October 22, 2007 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2007 A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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