Humility Sucks!

[Guest]

Well, that is my honest feeling about right now.  I'll own up to the fact that I have what you might call a bit of a pride problem.  No, no. Really, I do. I know... many of you would never have guessed.

The thing is that I generally have a good humor about it and I try to keep it in check.  But recently the Lord has decided to give me a severe lesson in humility.  And I'll just say that it sucks.  In fact, I just did say so... twice even.  I generally find myself to be a pretty capable individual in just about any endeavor that I set my mind to.  But I've recently been having experiences that make me feel much less capable than I usually feel.  The foci recently:  engineering and music.

ENGINEERING

I've just been introduced to a new discipline of engineering.  People really needed help with sufficient personnel in a particular endeavor.  They asked me if I had some very basic qualifications.  I did.  They gave me an assignment with a more experienced person to help and show me the ropes.  They were impressed.  So, they gave me a bunch of more assignments in that same area.  Then I found that without my tutor, I was REALLY struggling with this.  Now I'm asking so many questions of several people that I believe I'm becoming a bit of an irritant.  I really don't like that.  I also really don't like being the guy who doesn't know what's going on.  I don't like being the one who is asking all the questions of people who apparently feel like it's all child's play.  It makes me feel so... small and useless and incapable.  I don't like that feeling.

MUSIC

A while back I was called to be the ward choir director.  That was fine.  I felt I had enough training to do the job.  I only asked for someone to choose the songs because I've been out of the music arena for so long that I was not up on all the latest music. I barely even learned who David Archuleta and Lindsay Sterling were.  Of course I know the Piano Guys.  So, the music chair said that she would pick the songs for me and complement that part of my calling.  OK.

Well, two things have happened lately.  First, she's asked to be released from that calling.  So, guess who they called to be the music chair?  Yup.  I now have both callings.  It doesn't dawn on you how much time it takes to do these callings until it's upon you.  But they're both pretty involved.  I'm not sure if I can do it.  In my mind, the bishop is the head of the ward.  The music chair is the soul of the ward (yep, I came up with that one myself -- a-HEM).  Second, I've been meeting with the Stake Choir director for lessons.  The Stake Choir director may not be the literal best director in the world.  But he is AWESOME.  And I mean that literally.  He is known and respected by those who actually are the best in the world.  He runs his own music academy in the most posh part of the greater Houston area.  All the wealthy come to his academy to have their children taught.  He IS THE GUY in all of Houston that people come to.  And there is virtually nothing about music and music theory that this guy does not know.

So, to be schooled by him FOR FREE is an opportunity that I simply can't pass up.  And I'm going to stick it out simply for that fact alone.  But I'm really having issues.  Not that I can't look up to the guy.  I absolutely do.  How can I not?  But I feel like an infant in front of him.  He just knows so freaking much about music.  And he keeps pushing me.  And I'm having trouble keeping up.

So, in two areas that I normally feel so capable, I find myself feeling like a helpless baby.  I'll say it again.  It sucks.

Any words of comfort would be... uhm... comforting... (sniff, sob, wipes tear).

[The Folk Prophet]

Thinking humility sucks means one has a humility problem.  

[Guest MormonGator]

Bro, you need some confidence in yourself. Humility is great, but I know 100% for sure that you got this calling for a reason. So you'll do fine. Let's talk about that first. 

Remember that every teacher-no matter how wonderful and spectacular they might be (and they might be as cool as I am-truly iconic) is still a man/woman complete with all the flaws that comes with it. They know a lot about their specialty and they might be so kind and loving that you think they are perfect people-but they are not. Seriously. They can be incredibly insecure and again, be just as human as you are. You only see them at their best. You don't see them struggling to get to their current state. And believe me, struggle they did. I've turned down callings, service projects, requests wear a tie to church-you should be commended for taking on so much. 

As to your job thing (I assume engineering is your job?)-take my word on this. They are paying you to do a job. They obviously think you are qualified and can handle the job of you'd know otherwise. You'd know otherwise because you'd be called into your bosses office and you've be standing in the unemployment line shortly after. Your questions bother them as much as a newbie LDS questions would bother the lifelong members. 

Edited November 14, 2017 by MormonGator

[Guest]

Everyone in any sort of real profession (and I do mean everyone) is the irritant from time to time.  I know I have been - several times.  If it is your turn, may as well relax and enjoy it while it lasts (and it never lasts long).

As far as choir goes, I can't help you there - I have spent years dodging being in ward choirs!

Edited November 14, 2017 by DoctorLemon

[anatess2]

I think everybody goes through this in their callings.  First, it's "Father in heaven, ,I hope you know what you're doing because I sure don't".  Then, you finally get to point where you say, "I got this." and that lasts about... oh a week... and you get called into another calling and you go through the cycle again. 

Hang in there, brother.  God needs you.  And God qualifies you. 

 

Edited November 14, 2017 by anatess2

[lostinwater]

3 hours ago, Carborendum said:

It makes me feel so... small and useless and incapable.  I don't like that feeling.

It seems like the people who run from that feeling are the ones who never become masters of their craft.  It'll be just another notch in your belt shortly.  My guess is their frustration is as much that you are asking them good questions that make them feel uncomfortable with their level of knowledge.

[Sunday21]

@Carborendum. Hi Carb! Sounds like you are having a lucky break with the choir calling. A real opportunity!

Re: paid work. Do you tend to be a bit hard on yourself? Could you be being a little too sensitive to the reactions of others?

Just a thought!

[JohnsonJones]

11 hours ago, Carborendum said:

ENGINEERING

I've just been introduced to a new discipline of engineering.  People really needed help with sufficient personnel in a particular endeavor.  They asked me if I had some very basic qualifications.  I did.  They gave me an assignment with a more experienced person to help and show me the ropes.  They were impressed.  So, they gave me a bunch of more assignments in that same area.  Then I found that without my tutor, I was REALLY struggling with this.  Now I'm asking so many questions of several people that I believe I'm becoming a bit of an irritant.  I really don't like that.  I also really don't like being the guy who doesn't know what's going on.  I don't like being the one who is asking all the questions of people who apparently feel like it's all child's play.  It makes me feel so... small and useless and incapable.  I don't like that feeling.

I suppose you are an engineer?  What type of Engineering is it?

If it is Civil or Mechanical or a related field, do you have your P.E. yet?

How recently did you graduate, or have you been in the field for a long time?

I don't know what field you are in or what your experience level is, but I know a LITTLE (just enough to be dangerous) on the arena of Engineering.  In the past decade, the Oil industry has been very desperate for engineers, any engineers.  Now normally they'd want engineers that specialized in Petroleum and drilling specialties (which some would say is a subset of Civil, but I'd call them separate enough to be their own specialty), however, with the drastic lack of engineers from those fields they've resorted to hiring Civil or Mechanical Engineers to fill the void, or at times when even more desperate, engineers from almost any arena that has a hard science engineering background (so no social engineers or things like that).

It is common for them to have a LOT of questions at the beginning.  In some ways, one could see it as a way of testing.  They can see how quickly the new engineer can catch on.  However, to feel completely lost at the beginning is actually very common and normal.  It is FAR BETTER to ask questions and be the guy that asks and gets it right, than the guy that is silent and gets it wrong.  When they get into the field for the first time, some will try to not be a bother, even if they don't know the answer, and guess at what the best possible answer could be.  if they get it wrong, well, no one appreciates that either.  The best way then is to ask the question, and get it right and remember it for the next time. 

I don't know if it's anything like what you are going through, but if it is similar, than it is always better to ask questions than to do it wrong.  In the best case scenario if you get it wrong, someone else will have to either point it out to you or redo it themselves.  In the worst case scenario, they build it along your specifications and someone gets killed.  So, when in doubt, ask away...In My OPINION.

I never was an engineer, but in my early years I did work as an Engineering Technician (basically, the guys the Engineer can tell to go do this or that or whatever the Engineer wants.  Fancy job descriptions may say otherwise, but in my experience, that's basically what I did, from drafting designs under their eye and approval (and they were basically the ones that described what I was going to do, and then went over it afterwards officially), to going out in the field and doing the dirty hands on work), and worked with a lot with various engineers (from Civil to Electrical, and even a few chemical).  It ended up paying for a lot of my schooling (though eventually I ended up doing some nursing nearer to the end of my schooling which paid somewhat better then the Engineering Technician Job).  When I first started, I had a similar thing where basically, I knew just about nothing.  AS time went on, and I learned the ropes and was able to do things on my own.  At first, however, I knew nothing.

I saw Engineers that did both of what I described above (and had both types as bosses at various times).  The ones that felt they already knew everything and took guesses normally (but not always, sometimes they were pretty brilliant) were the ones that got into trouble, while the ones that were willing to ask questions normally eventually excelled.

[GroundedDreamer]

Be YE therefore perfect (at your calling and job) -  EVENTUALLY   you've got this.  Lean on the Lord and maybe ask for a PH blessing that u can calm down and absorb as much as possible and learn and contribute what God wants.   

[paracaidista508]

Try this if you want to truly know what humility is all about

 

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fc1.staticflickr.com%2F1%2F22%2F29010193_7829032f64_z.jpg%3Fzz%3D1&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fgermanchocolateladies%2F29010193&docid=_sm685QZjtJf8M&tbnid=5mCuRNcRKAW2MM%3A&vet=1&w=500&h=375&client=tablet-android-samsung&bih=768&biw=1024&ved=0ahUKEwi16vHqlbHZAhVM-mMKHZYtAkIQxiAIGigB&iact=c&ictx=1

 

Edited February 19, 2018 by paracaidista508

[Overwatch]

Hi,

If this is still an issue and you are overwhelmed by your callings and work, drop one calling and keep the other. You really should start studying your job outside of work if you already haven't. I work in a very competitive field and it does get irritating when there is that one person who doesn't know what they are doing. In fact, usually, they are replaced if they annoy enough people. 

Oh and Don't be ashamed to learn from that music master