Nick0123 Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Hey everyone! Currently my fiance and I are separated thousands of miles so we cannot really visit each other often. We met at school and got engaged some months later but she has to go away for work for the time being. Anyways we knew it would be hard but it is a lot harder than we had imagined and it has put stress on both of us. Anyways just looking for some things we can do to keep the fire burning and the relationship thriving unitl we can be married in August. For the record we are both are keeping our goals in mind and are always told "just hold out it will be worth it". So we know that just looking for some ideas to keep it going and keep the romantic side of things up so its not like were just reporting our day to each other when we talk but like we are in a romantic relationship. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midwest LDS Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Best of luck to you @Nick0123 LDR's are tough. I had to be seperated from my wife (she was my girlfriend at the time) for three months due to work and summer vacation at BYU. I reccomend frequent contact beyond text messages or online messaging. We talked on the phone every day for an hour. You certainly don't have to talk as long as we did (it was a lot looking back on it now☺) but take time to talk by phone or video chat frequently. I found those loving conversations about our lives kept the fires burning so to speak. Also, depending on how long she is going to be gone, you may want to save up and go visit her or have her visit you for a week or so just to spend time with each other. I think these two things will help you guys make it through this tough time. seashmore and Nick0123 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zil Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Didn't REO Speedwagon answer this question back in the 80s? <gdrvvf> Meanwhile, I recommend searching for and learning from letters written in the 1800s. Somehow, our modern technology has erased from our minds all understanding of how to communicate. Seriously, today: "thx 4 the present luv it"; back then: "Your beautiful birthday gift almost reconciles me to the fact that I am today a year older than I was last May." Now which of those makes you think the writer truly appreciated your gift? Which of those shows emotion was involved in the composition and sparks emotion when reading it? "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin PS: Welcome back, @Nick0123! PPS: As I neglected to thank you earlier for your last thread, please accept my belated gratitude. I have just re-perused it and was thoroughly amused once more by the various hijacks it suffered. I hope you found at least a little pertinent advice in response to your question there. Nick0123, Just_A_Guy, Midwest LDS and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Latter-Day Marriage Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Big yes to written letters. And I don't mean 'love letters' in the typical sense where that is mostly what you talk about. Just talk with her about anything, tell her what you did, share your thoughts, make it like a journal entry but written to her. I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 17 and I knew that night she was the one, but we lived 100 miles apart so we relied heavily on letters and the occasional phone call to hang onto her till I finished my mission and proposed. One time I just took a notebook around with me and wrote to her through the day what I was doing and thinking, like "... I'm in math class now. Mr F. is a bit eccentric, he wears Hawaiian shirts and long shorts with knee high socks and a lab coat. He is a really good teacher though, we are covering how to reduce a matrix today..." then mailed her that. Also, head over to Hallmark and find a nice card to send her and write a note in it to her. I went for ones I knew would make her laugh (Shoebox Greeting is the official card line of our relationship) and write her a short letter in that. Or send the occasional gift or care package, or a thumb drive with a video letter from you, or sing her a song, send photos, or other digital treats. The anticipation of waiting for the next letter is a powerful thing, and you don't get that with texting and social media. Perhaps a little bit with email. zil and Nick0123 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 5 hours ago, zil said: Didn't REO Speedwagon answer this question back in the 80s? <gdrvvf> Meanwhile, I recommend searching for and learning from letters written in the 1800s. Somehow, our modern technology has erased from our minds all understanding of how to communicate. Seriously, today: "thx 4 the present luv it"; back then: "Your beautiful birthday gift almost reconciles me to the fact that I am today a year older than I was last May." Now which of those makes you think the writer truly appreciated your gift? Which of those shows emotion was involved in the composition and sparks emotion when reading it? "Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing." - Benjamin Franklin PS: Welcome back, @Nick0123! PPS: As I neglected to thank you earlier for your last thread, please accept my belated gratitude. I have just re-perused it and was thoroughly amused once more by the various hijacks it suffered. I hope you found at least a little pertinent advice in response to your question there. @Nick0123, what zil is trying to tell you here is that.... you need a fountain pen. Nick0123, zil and Just_A_Guy 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anatess2 Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 Okay, so in the early years of our marriage, my contracting job assigned me to work with a client 120 miles away from our home. So, I would leave on Monday morning to get to work and come home on Friday evening. My husband and I only had the weekends together. We were more romantic then than we were living with each other everyday. This was before the era of the smartphone and, although we had cellphones, it cost an arm and a leg for X minutes... it didn't matter. My husband would call me every single hour on the hour every single day. He would have some funny joke or some crazy story or just "you ok?" "yes, I'm ok" "ok." then hang up. These days, we got the Facetime thing now, so when I go on my extended trips - sometimes for months halfway around the planet - we're facetiming constantly. I would even "cook for him" - basically I tell him what to do over facetime - and things like that. I would see something cool while walking around another country and I'd facetime him and show it to him. Anyway, communication technology has advanced so much that LDR's are not quite the same as it used to be where you're crying in a pillow waiting for the postman. Sunday21 and Nick0123 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 19, 2018 Report Share Posted February 19, 2018 8 hours ago, zil said: Didn't REO Speedwagon answer this question back in the 80s? If REO Speedwagon was the answer, I shudder to think of the question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashmore Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 (edited) On February 19, 2018 at 10:14 AM, Latter-Day Marriage said: I met my wife when she was 15 and I was 17 and I knew that night she was the one, but we lived 100 miles apart so we relied heavily on letters and the occasional phone call to hang onto her till I finished my mission and proposed. One time I just took a notebook around with me and wrote to her through the day what I was doing and thinking, like "... I'm in math class now. Mr F. is a bit eccentric, he wears Hawaiian shirts and long shorts with knee high socks and a lab coat. He is a really good teacher though, we are covering how to reduce a matrix today..." then mailed her that. This reminded me of something I did with a long distance friend a few years back. I got her a blank journal, mailed it to her, she wrote in it for a few days and then mailed it back. I wrote in it for a few days and mailed it back. We did this until it was full and then got a new one, even though we continued to talk regularly online. Something like this would be really cool for your grandkids to see. Edited February 25, 2018 by seashmore Sunday21 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MormonGator Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 3 minutes ago, seashmore said: This reminded me of something I did with a long distance friend a few years back. I got her a blank journal, mailed it to her, she wrote in it for a few days and then mailed it back. I wrote in it for a few days and mailed it back. We did this until it was full and then got a new one, even though we continued to talk regularly online. Something like this would be really cool for your grandkids to see. That is beautiful. What a great idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Namaskar Posted February 25, 2018 Report Share Posted February 25, 2018 Talk on the phone or FaceTime when you can! I dated my now husband LD but it was before social media and texting was super big, we just talked on the phone for hours haha. And this was in 2006. Read books together, watch the same shows and talk about them together as you would if you were in the same state. I’d highly recommend a Gottman book to anyone planning on getting married or already married. Great ideas about communication for healthy relationships! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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