What is compassion and how does one obtain it?

[Namaskar]

The LDS church church speaks a lot about “loving one another,” yet there is the unfortunate aspect of being human where our thoughts and actions toward ourselves and others does not equal love. 

In my own journey I’ve found we can’t have compassion for others until we can have compassion for ourself. I used to think that I had to have empathy to have compassion. But now I see that empathy is just one aspect of compassion, and compassion can be found without. 

 

Sometimes I perceive others trying so hard to help others around them while they completely ignore or avoid their innerself. When I finally took the time to find inner validation and divine love, I could quite the thoughts about myself and genuinely focus on the world around me. 

I believe compassion is seeing others and yourself and loving who they/you are in the present. Compassion is obtained by accepting who you are in the present, and not holding on to the past (loving past self) or fearing the future. It’s obtained by connecting with others in the present. 

What so do you think compassion is? How do you think people obtain compassion? 

 

 

Edited February 21, 2018 by Namaskar

[zil]

Welcome, @Namaskar!

[Anddenex]

Compassion like other characteristics are gifts from God. We are intelligences with the ability to "act" or "to be acted" upon. The gift of "charity" is the fountain by which all other good character traits flow. Forgiveness is one of the ultimate forms of love and charity.

A scripture I have come to understand encompasses charity, love, forgiveness, and compassion: Matthew 7, "Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye." (Source)

Compassion is an opportunity to remove all forms of unrighteous judgement (the beam) from our own heart, in order to be able to properly show compassion and other good character traits.

True compassion is not self-righteous. Our motivation, as to why we exercise compassion, is necessary for true compassion to be genuine. Empathy surely is part of compassion. True empathy and compassion is a healing balm. It is not fake, it is not hollow. I once approached a leader who truly sought to pretend to understand, exercise empathy and compassion, but it was to set himself above me, not my equal. This type of compassion, empathy, is hollow without reward. It is a horrible character trait when we pretend to be compassionate, empathetic, without removing our "beam." It hurts, rather than heals. True compassion will also weave patience into the experience. We become patient with others, even when they are not so patient with us.

A good example of compassion, charity, love, patience, and empathy is the story we find with Captain Moroni and Pahoran (Source)

[NeuroTypical]

Shout out to the Catholics here.  If the dictionary definition of compassion doesn't show a picture of Mother Theresa, there is probably a better dictionary out there. 

Open a couple of hospices for poor folk dying of leprosy, you'll have a few things to say about compassion. 

[Namaskar]

2 hours ago, NeuroTypical said:

Shout out to the Catholics here.  If the dictionary definition of compassion doesn't show a picture of Mother Theresa, there is probably a better dictionary out there. 

Open a couple of hospices for poor folk dying of leprosy, you'll have a few things to say about compassion. 

I finally felt like I understood compassion when I was doing a disaster relief mission a few months ago.  I’ve never understood how people can say they love strangers but I feel like I say it more often these days and I absolutely mean it  

Mother Theresa was an enlightened soul! 

[Sunday21]

@Namaskar. Welcome!

[warnerfranklin]

How I found compassion (which, by temperament, I am not) is best described in the following words by CS Lewis:

“The rule for all of us is perfectly simple. Do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbour; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him.... If you do him a good turn, you will find yourself disliking him less.”    From the book Mere Christianity. 

We find compassion and love through our good works and kind words. 

“One of the great ironies of life is this: he or she serves almost always benefits more than he or she who was served.”  President Hinkley 

“Work is an antidote for anxiety, and ointment for sorrow, and a doorway to possibility. Whatever our circumstances in life, my dear brethren, let us do the best we can and cultivate a reputation for excellence in all that we do. Let us set our minds and bodies to the glorious opportunity for work that each new day presents.”  Elder Uchtdorf

When I’m depressed or angry or sad or lonely or whatever ills me or whatever shortcomings I may be struggling with I have found service to others the best cure.  By doing acts of service I have become so much more than I was. God honors the honest desire of His children to be obedient and draw closer to Him. In the beginning that is enough.  When I stopped saying to God, “I have too many faults” and chose instead to say “Here I am. Send me!” He honored that, first with small steps and then with bigger ones.  If we are obedient in one area we will find ourselves being more obedient in others - often w/o consciously knowing it.  

We find compassion and forgiveness  and love and patience and all other good things, not by waiting for them to be bestowed upon us, but by turning our attention away from ourselves to others and Christ.

 

 

[Guest MormonGator]

"Compassion" is like humility in a bunch of ways. If you have to say you are (compassionate or humble) you aren't. You earn it by your actions and then it's a descirption that other people call you. 

You obtain it by putting yourself second putting others first. Remember that old saying, "There but for the grace of God go I.". It's a good start. 

Edited February 24, 2018 by MormonGator

[eVa]

29 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Compassion" is like humility.

I like that @MormonGator Humility is focused on one's self, where as compassion is the same force applied to others.  If that makes sense.

[Guest MormonGator]

7 minutes ago, eVa said:

I like that @MormonGator Humility is focused on one's self, where as compassion is the same force applied to others.  If that makes sense.

Thanks bud. Your comment makes perfect sense. 

Edited February 23, 2018 by MormonGator

[wenglund]

On 2/21/2018 at 1:03 PM, Namaskar said:

The LDS church church speaks a lot about “loving one another,” yet there is the unfortunate aspect of being human where our thoughts and actions toward ourselves and others does not equal love. 

In my own journey I’ve found we can’t have compassion for others until we can have compassion for ourself. I used to think that I had to have empathy to have compassion. But now I see that empathy is just one aspect of compassion, and compassion can be found without. 

 

Sometimes I perceive others trying so hard to help others around them while they completely ignore or avoid their innerself. When I finally took the time to find inner validation and divine love, I could quite the thoughts about myself and genuinely focus on the world around me. 

I believe compassion is seeing others and yourself and loving who they/you are in the present. Compassion is obtained by accepting who you are in the present, and not holding on to the past (loving past self) or fearing the future. It’s obtained by connecting with others in the present. 

What so do you think compassion is? How do you think people obtain compassion? 

 

 

The  online dictionary defines compassion as: "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."

By definition, compassion is focused on others, though perhaps the sympathetic aspect may indirectly bring oneself into play.

Note that the definition doesn't mention love, and thus should not be confused with love because there are a variety of things that could engender the feelings of sorrow for others misfortune, including greed and pride and self-loathing.

Note also that the desire to alleviate the suffering of others, while feeling-based,  is not necessarily action or result-based.

I mention this because many in modern culture, including some fellow and former saints, who wrap themselves in the garment of compassion, oft end up making matters worse--though this doesn't seem to bother them because to them merely having the feeling of compassion is what matters. It is the epitome of virtue signaling.

Sadly, though not surprisingly, this counterproductive and even destructive manifestation of "compassion," is because the term has been highly politicized and ironically used in ways entirely lacking in functional compassion. (see HERE)

For these and other reasons the gospel doesn't command compassion. Instead, it commands love of God and fellow man, which love will then result in productive compassion.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[Traveler]

On ‎2‎/‎21‎/‎2018 at 1:03 PM, Namaskar said:

...

What so do you think compassion is? How do you think people obtain compassion? 

Every time I think I know what compassion is or that I am compassionate – I prove to myself that I don’t and aren’t.  Never-the-less, I am inclined to think along the lines that compassion is a journey or pathway to travel more than a place to arrive or something to be achieved (once and done).  For me it seems that there are times such a path seems obvious but then there are others in which I am definingly lost and without a clue where I am going or what I am doing.    It seems that when I think I have lost my temper; my beloved wife assures me that it is not lost but very much in my possession.

I think of compassion somewhat like money.  If you earn it – you will still only have it as long as you don’t spend it all (use it all up).  Plus you can be wise with it for a thousand times and blow it once and you will have ruined all the times you were smart.

 

The Traveler

[eVa]

8 minutes ago, Traveler said:

Plus you can be wise with it for a thousand times and blow it once and you will have ruined all the times you were smart.

Similar to the parable of the talents?

[Namaskar]

@Traveler that’s an interesting perspective to think of it as money. I’d think it be that way without learning proper boundaries. I think I’m learning to have compassion for humanity and strangers, but I’m constantly learning how to have compassion for my closest friends and family. Sometimes it’s easier for one or the other!

Brene Brown has a few books and your comment reminded me of Rising Strong. Having compassion means you know your limits, you know when to ask for help and you know when to create the boundaries. 

I think compassion is something we can learn and it grows with those proper boundaries maybe? Compassion can definitely shrink if we don’t practice it? 

 

[Namaskar]

8 hours ago, wenglund said:

The  online dictionary defines compassion as: "a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering."

By definition, compassion is focused on others, though perhaps the sympathetic aspect may indirectly bring oneself into play.

Note that the definition doesn't mention love, and thus should not be confused with love because there are a variety of things that could engender the feelings of sorrow for others misfortune, including greed and pride and self-loathing.

Note also that the desire to alleviate the suffering of others, while feeling-based,  is not necessarily action or result-based.

I mention this because many in modern culture, including some fellow and former saints, who wrap themselves in the garment of compassion, oft end up making matters worse--though this doesn't seem to bother them because to them merely having the feeling of compassion is what matters. It is the epitome of virtue signaling.

Sadly, though not surprisingly, this counterproductive and even destructive manifestation of "compassion," is because the term has been highly politicized and ironically used in ways entirely lacking in functional compassion. (see HERE)

For these and other reasons the gospel doesn't command compassion. Instead, it commands love of God and fellow man, which love will then result in productive compassion.

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

Interesting! I never really thought of it that way but it makes sense! I think maybe having that compassion (desire to allievate suffering) foster real love for me. If that makes sense. I see people suffering and I’m able to see them as a human,  I’m able to see myself in that situation and I know I can’t take away their pain but I can still love them because they are just like me. 

Not sure if that makes any sense. But your thoughts give a new meaning to why people often say “love AND compassion” as a separate thing. Even if we don’t know why haha. 

[wenglund]

16 minutes ago, Namaskar said:

I think maybe having that compassion (desire to alleviate suffering) foster real love for me. If that makes sense. I see people suffering and I’m able to see them as a human,  I’m able to see myself in that situation and I know I can’t take away their pain but I can still love them because they are just like me. 

What you just said gives new meaning to the phrase, "Misery LOVES company.

Perhaps it is one of those "which comes first, the  chicken and egg" questions.  I don't know. I would hope, though, that were suffering one day eliminated, it wouldn't do away with love.

Regardless whether suffering causes love or love causes compassion for the suffering, it is also my hope that the "feelings" are not only accompanied with action, but an adamant need for positive results  To me, this is far more likely to happen through individuals taking responsibility rather than turning compassion over to a distant, highly politicized, seemingly unfeeling bureaucratic state.. 

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

[CV75]

On 2/21/2018 at 3:03 PM, Namaskar said:

The LDS church church speaks a lot about “loving one another,” yet there is the unfortunate aspect of being human where our thoughts and actions toward ourselves and others does not equal love. 

In my own journey I’ve found we can’t have compassion for others until we can have compassion for ourself. I used to think that I had to have empathy to have compassion. But now I see that empathy is just one aspect of compassion, and compassion can be found without. 

Sometimes I perceive others trying so hard to help others around them while they completely ignore or avoid their innerself. When I finally took the time to find inner validation and divine love, I could quite the thoughts about myself and genuinely focus on the world around me. 

I believe compassion is seeing others and yourself and loving who they/you are in the present. Compassion is obtained by accepting who you are in the present, and not holding on to the past (loving past self) or fearing the future. It’s obtained by connecting with others in the present. 

What so do you think compassion is? How do you think people obtain compassion? 

I see compassion as a spiritual gift, and the scriptures teach us how to obtain them. Seeking, asking, and acting in faith, hope and charity. We have good examples all around us to follow, and the Gift of the Holy Ghost to inspire, prompt, teach, guide and strengthen us. We have our covenants to remember, and the privilege of a weekly Sacrament. We are community, so we can takes steps to get involved with others, beginning with our families and friends and extending to ward and stake members, neighbors, and strangers.

[Traveler]

Obviously, I am not the expert – I would, however, say that Mrs. Traveler is perhaps the best living example I know.  Next to Christ she is a model for me.  If there is a single most important common denominator for compassion – I would say the most necessary element is sacrifice.

 

The Traveler

[Namaskar]

On 2/23/2018 at 11:21 PM, wenglund said:

What you just said gives new meaning to the phrase, "Misery LOVES company.

Perhaps it is one of those "which comes first, the  chicken and egg" questions.  I don't know. I would hope, though, that were suffering one day eliminated, it wouldn't do away with love.

Regardless whether suffering causes love or love causes compassion for the suffering, it is also my hope that the "feelings" are not only accompanied with action, but an adamant need for positive results  To me, this is far more likely to happen through individuals taking responsibility rather than turning compassion over to a distant, highly politicized, seemingly unfeeling bureaucratic state.. 

Thanks, -Wade Englund-

I’m not sure if I understand the connection between misery loves company? 

My take on love is that nothings cause it, necessarily. Love is always there and exists and our ability to feel it, recognize it etc comes from when we quiet the mind and body and know our higher selves. Our capacity to love grows as we learn to truly see ourselves (and God) in others. To me that doesn’t mean we have to experience the same things, it’s just that we recognize we are all the same, trying to do our best. 

I agree that action and responsibility is an important part of love and compassion. Discovering If our motivation to act is attached to results or driven by trying to do good and serve others through a higher power, then I think we all could accept ownership and responsibility in the world we live. 

[Namaskar]

On 2/24/2018 at 9:13 AM, Traveler said:

Obviously, I am not the expert – I would, however, say that Mrs. Traveler is perhaps the best living example I know.  Next to Christ she is a model for me.  If there is a single most important common denominator for compassion – I would say the most necessary element is sacrifice.

 

The Traveler

Expert shmexpert. I agree that sacrifice, or what I refer to as Surrender, is key! 

[Namaskar]

On 2/24/2018 at 8:13 AM, CV75 said:

I see compassion as a spiritual gift, and the scriptures teach us how to obtain them. Seeking, asking, and acting in faith, hope and charity. We have good examples all around us to follow, and the Gift of the Holy Ghost to inspire, prompt, teach, guide and strengthen us. We have our covenants to remember, and the privilege of a weekly Sacrament. We are community, so we can takes steps to get involved with others, beginning with our families and friends and extending to ward and stake members, neighbors, and strangers.

And don’t forget to include ourselves!