Carol Lynn Pearson's book


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Carol Lynn Pearson is respected for her many works in the Church.  She has done many programs for LDS youth, among them, video entitled, A Time To Love, as well as numerous poems and other media for the Church.  She  has also had her share of trials.  She was married in the temple, and much later, found out that her spouse came out as gay.  He later chose to pursue a gay lifestyle.  One of her children, a daughter, got married, and also found a trial in her marriage, I believe, as well.  Also, Carol found at a young age, that polygamy was treated, at times, unintentionally, insensitively. 

When she was in seminary, her teacher, a man, who had married for time and all eternity in the temple to his 1st wife, told how she had died, and he was sealed for eternity to his 2nd wife, and told how he believed he would be married forever to both of them.  This really bothered the young, impressionable Carol.  I think, I can sympathize, how a young, perhaps 16 year old young woman, would feel to go to seminary and hear that.  How would that make a faithful young woman, or any young woman feel?  She had been taught that polygamy was not allowed, but hear she had heard that polygamy will continue in the eternities. 

She wrote a book recently called The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy.  We have been told that polygamy will come back someday, although it is not practiced now.  In the Book of Mormon, Jacob (one of my favorite prophets, I guess because he does seem to show sensitivity towards a woman's feelings) and sensitivity towards how I think the Lord intended marriage to be) did say monogamy was generally the Lord's standard, and only polygamy was allowed when the Lord commanded it, otherwise, it was monogamy. 

I look at the billions of people on the earth today.  And they evolved from the start of just one couple:  Adam & Eve. 

A couple of one man with only one wife.  I think that , although I have not read her book, from what I have heard about it, she is trying to help others realize the need to be sensitive about this issue.  I know she wants polygamy to not be in existence.  Certainly, if there were an even amount of righteous men and women to be paired off, I couldn't, in my mere mortal mind, comprehend a need for polygamy, as I see marriage as a sacred, close relationship, and a partnership with a spouse and God and a way to invite His children to be in a family to teach them to come learn of Him and come return to Him someday.  And in the next life, I really don't know what the purpost beyond creating worlds would be.  I really think one couple would be enough with just one man and one wife.  I don't see the hurry to have a man have multiple wives to do that. 

God is patient, and that sacred relationship and trust do not need to be broken.  Of course, I am limited in my understanding, and if there is an unequal amount of righteous men & women, that can change things.  The Lord will work things out. 

In her book, she apparently sought out how hurt it made people feel about polygamy and the concern about it occuring in the eternities.  I have had some concern, but have also prayed and felt peace about it.  However, I think it is important to treat this topic with sensitivity.  Sometimes I do feel concern, when a man marries 2nd wife (and I am just saying in general) for eternity) after he has a1st sealed to him forever)  I think that can be seen, and pardon me for seeming a little blunt, but I think it may seem a bit selfish for him to do that to those 2 woman.  He could simply marry the 2nd for time and not have to make them have to deal with emotionally going through sharing him in eternity.  I can understand wanting a companion in life and needing someone to raise kids, but its not fair for the 2nd woman to not have her very one man to herself and for the firsr wife too. 

Anyways, and the purpose of polygamy, if people research the real reasons, is not for some of the unsensitive reasons some people have alluded too.  The Lord meant for all marriage to be sacred and holy.  There was a article on mormon hub recently emphasizing pleasure in marriage and it really took away from the spirit of the sacredness of what the Lord intended.  Also some have mistakenly said polygamy would satisfy a men's sex drive, this is wrong.  Men need to control themselves.  And that kind of a  man will not have another wife. 

I don't believe the Lord will condone the 100's of wives David had in eternity and the ones Joseph Smith and Brigham Young had were mostly in name only for protection at a time that was different then what we experience now.  Anyways, its not the sick way some people make it out to be and if people have that mind set, there won't be polygamy at all.  The FLDS have it all wrong.  Monogomy is the Lord's standard on the earth today. 

The ancient practice was what men set up, not what God set up,  God started with Adam and Eve.  Anyways, Carol with her book is trying to get polygamy to end.  Men can be sealed to more than one.  Women can only be sealed to one , in the end they have to choose only one.  We really don't know how it will be on the other side.  I know we can feel peace with it.  She seems to be in good standing with the Church, so perhaps they are not opposed.  I think we should be open minded and respectful of marriage and sensitive and be careful what is said about polygamy,. 

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Ted Bundy was also a Mormon in good standing.  I don’t think we should read a lack of public ecclesiastical discipline, as some sort of tacit approval by LDS leadership.  

I have no problem with approaching difficult issues with sensitivity; but Pearson is doctrinally flat-out wrong both in her opposition to post-mortal polygamy and her apologias for homosexual unchastity.  

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Hi @jewels8,

Your post has a lot of thoughts in it, and I apologize for my fragmented reply.

- Yes, of course we should treat polygamy with sensitivity.

- We should also always remember that God is the best person when it comes to handling things sensitively and individually.  He will undoubtably do both of those things perfectly.

- We should not pretend to know better than God.  Never approach anything God does with "you're wrong!" attitude.  Rather, discipleship is with meakness and trust in Him.  I find that many people can indeed fall into that pitfall. 

Edited by Jane_Doe
*Darn typo's! Saying opposite of what I meant...
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2 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Carol Lynn Pearson is respected for her many works in the Church.  She has done many programs for LDS youth, among them, video entitled, A Time To Love, as well as numerous poems and other media for the Church.  She  has also had her share of trials.  She was married in the temple, and much later, found out that her spouse came out as gay.  He later chose to pursue a gay lifestyle.  One of her children, a daughter, got married, and also found a trial in her marriage, I believe, as well.  Also, Carol found at a young age, that polygamy was treated, at times, unintentionally, insensitively. 

When she was in seminary, her teacher, a man, who had married for time and all eternity in the temple to his 1st wife, told how she had died, and he was sealed for eternity to his 2nd wife, and told how he believed he would be married forever to both of them.  This really bothered the young, impressionable Carol.  I think, I can sympathize, how a young, perhaps 16 year old young woman, would feel to go to seminary and hear that.  How would that make a faithful young woman, or any young woman feel?  She had been taught that polygamy was not allowed, but hear she had heard that polygamy will continue in the eternities. 

She wrote a book recently called The Ghost of Eternal Polygamy.  We have been told that polygamy will come back someday, although it is not practiced now.  In the Book of Mormon, Jacob (one of my favorite prophets, I guess because he does seem to show sensitivity towards a woman's feelings) and sensitivity towards how I think the Lord intended marriage to be) did say monogamy was generally the Lord's standard, and only polygamy was allowed when the Lord commanded it, otherwise, it was monogamy. 

I look at the billions of people on the earth today, they evolved from the start of just one couple:  Adam & Eve.  A couple of one man with only one wife. 

I think that , although I have not read her book, from what I have heard about it, she is trying to help others realize the need to be sensitive about this issue.  I know she wants polygamy to not be in existence.  Certainly, if there were an even amount of righteous men and women to be paired off, I couldn't, in my mere mortal mind, comprehend a need for polygamy, as I see marriage as a sacred, close relationship, and a partnership with a spouse and God and a way to invite His children to be in a family to teach them to come learn of Him and come return to Him someday.  In the next life, I really don't know what the purpose beyond creating worlds would be.  I really think one couple would be enough with just one man and one wife.  I don't see the hurry to have a man have multiple wives to do that. 

God is patient, and that sacred relationship and trust do not need to be broken.  Of course, I am limited in my understanding, and if there is an unequal amount of righteous men & women, that can change things.  The Lord will work things out. 

In her book, she apparently sought out how hurt it made people feel about polygamy and the concern about it occuring in the eternities.  I have had some concern, but have also prayed and felt peace about it.  However, I think it is important to treat this topic with sensitivity.  Sometimes I do feel concern, when a man marries 2nd wife (and I am just saying in general) for eternity) after he has a1st sealed to him forever)  I think that can be seen, and pardon me for seeming a little blunt, but I think it may seem a bit selfish for him to do that to those 2 woman.  He could simply marry the 2nd for time and not have to make them have to deal with emotionally going through sharing him in eternity.  I can understand wanting a companion in life and needing someone to raise kids, but its not fair for the 2nd woman to not have her very one man to herself and for the firsr wife too. 

Anyways, and the purpose of polygamy, if people research the real reasons, is not for some of the unsensitive reasons some people have alluded too.  The Lord meant for all marriage to be sacred and holy.  There was a article on mormon hub recently emphasizing pleasure in marriage and it really took away from the spirit of the sacredness of what the Lord intended.  Also some have mistakenly said polygamy would satisfy a men's sex drive, this is wrong.  Men need to control themselves.  And that kind of a  man will not have another wife. 

I don't believe the Lord will condone the 100's of wives David had in eternity and the ones Joseph Smith and Brigham Young had were mostly in name only for protection at a time that was different then what we experience now.  Anyways, its not the sick way some people make it out to be and if people have that mind set, there won't be polygamy at all.  The FLDS have it all wrong.  Monogomy is the Lord's standard on the earth today. 

The ancient practice was what men set up, not what God set up,  God started with Adam and Eve.  Anyways, Carol with her book is trying to get polygamy to end.  Men can be sealed to more than one.  Women can only be sealed to one , in the end they have to choose only one.  We really don't know how it will be on the other side.  I know we can feel peace with it.  She seems to be in good standing with the Church, so perhaps they are not opposed.  I think we should be open minded and respectful of marriage and sensitive and be careful what is said about polygamy,. 

Sorry, I had a hard time reading the original post so I separated it out into paragraphs and made a small grammatical change in one or two locations. 

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7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Carol Lynn Pearson...was married in the temple, and much later, found out that her spouse came out as gay.  He later chose to pursue a gay lifestyle.  One of her children, a daughter, got married, and also found a trial in her marriage, I believe, as well.  Also, Carol found at a young age, that polygamy was treated, at times, unintentionally, insensitively

One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can ya guess which thing is not like the other?
Guess before my song is done...

For Sister Pearson to bring up her weighty life trials in the context of the teaching -- not the living, mind you, but merely the teaching -- of the eternal doctrine of plural marriage is somewhere  between comical and reprehensible. (If indeed it was Sister Pearson who first drew the contrast, and not you yourself.)

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

When she was in seminary, her teacher, a man, who had married for time and all eternity in the temple to his 1st wife, told how she had died, and he was sealed for eternity to his 2nd wife, and told how he believed he would be married forever to both of them.  This really bothered the young, impressionable Carol.  I think, I can sympathize, how a young, perhaps 16 year old young woman, would feel to go to seminary and hear that.  How would that make a faithful young woman, or any young woman feel?  She had been taught that polygamy was not allowed, but hear she had heard that polygamy will continue in the eternities.

I'm...stunned. How dare Sister Pearson compare the trials of a man who lost his wife, picked up the shattered pieces of his life, remarried, and learned to love another woman as dearly as he had his original spouse -- how dare she compare the noble character of this man through his trials of marital loss and emotional devastation with her immature, pathetic, reprehensible teenage ermotions?

If indeed "he had been taught that polygamy was not allowed", maybe it was time for her to grow the heck up and understand things as they really are, beyond the facile approximations we tell our children when they can't cope with the complexities of reality. The subject is far more nuanced than "plural marriage is bad," however her sixteen-year-old self might have understood it.

Sure, I can understand a teenager being caught off-guard by such a revelation. I cannot understand the old woman who used to be that disillusioned teen grinding away publicly at her pet axe because riding her hobby horse is just so darned much fun.

Shame on you, Carol Lynn Pearson.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Certainly, if there were an even amount of righteous men and women to be paired off, I couldn't, in my mere mortal mind, comprehend a need for polygamy, as I see marriage as a sacred, close relationship, and a partnership with a spouse and God and a way to invite His children to be in a family to teach them to come learn of Him and come return to Him someday.  And in the next life, I really don't know what the purpost beyond creating worlds would be.

@jewels8, please understand that your ignorance does not constitute an argument against reality. The fact that you don't presently understand plural marriage or its place in the eternities is utterly, completely, and in all other ways irrelevant. I bet you can't begin to explain Einsteinian gravitation theory, either -- and yet Here We Are.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

God is patient, and that sacred relationship and trust do not need to be broken.

Quite obviously, if plural marriage is the order of heaven, then "that sacred relationship and trust" of marriage is NOT broken by it. Again, your ignorance means nothing.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

However, I think it is important to treat this topic with sensitivity.

The one sentence in your screed with which all parties on this list will agree.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Sometimes I do feel concern, when a man marries 2nd wife (and I am just saying in general) for eternity) after he has a1st sealed to him forever)  I think that can be seen, and pardon me for seeming a little blunt, but I think it may seem a bit selfish for him to do that to those 2 woman.

Uh...wait a minute.

Weren't you JUST NOW the one preaching "sensitivity"?

The man's second marriage was not selfish. It was selfless. It is you, not he, who is out of line with the mind of the Lord. It is you, not he, who needs to repent.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Also some have mistakenly said polygamy would satisfy a men's sex drive, this is wrong.  Men need to control themselves.  And that kind of a  man will not have another wife.

The kind of man who has a sex drive won't have a second wife?

Methinks you don't even see the absurdity of your opinion.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Anyways, Carol with her book is trying to get polygamy to end.  Men can be sealed to more than one.  Women can only be sealed to one , in the end they have to choose only one. 

If your sentence above is correct, Sister Pearson is in open apostasy. Sad to see.

7 hours ago, jewels8 said:

I think we should be open minded and respectful of marriage and sensitive and be careful what is said about polygamy.

I think that you, @jewels8, should be standing first in line to take your own advice.

EDIT: I have no idea where the strikethrough came from. Mods, can you fix this? Because I can't. In my edit panel, the text is all struck through, but none of it registers as struck through with the S symbol on the editor.

 

Edited by estradling75
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38 minutes ago, Vort said:

EDIT: I have no idea where the strikethrough came from. Mods, can you fix this? Because I can't. In my edit panel, the text is all struck through, but none of it registers as struck through with the S symbol on the editor.

It's caused by the [ s ] (without spaces) in the quote:

Quote

If indeed "[ s ]he had

(I'm assuming the bracketed "s" - I can't see it.) - that's BB code for strikethrough.  You'll have to add spaces, change to parentheses, or something similar.

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56 minutes ago, Vort said:

EDIT: I have no idea where the strikethrough came from. Mods, can you fix this? Because I can't. In my edit panel, the text is all struck through, but none of it registers as struck through with the S symbol on the editor.

 

That was annoying

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I know there have been some general authorities of the Church who have had some things to say that show that we shouldn't expect everyone to have to practice polygamy in heaven, that there will be monogomy in heaven too.  And there is nothing selfish about having monogomous families.   A husband and wife and children that love each other is normal and healthy.  Just look around and see what happens when that doesn't work.  And see how good it is when it does.  The Lord started with Adam and Eve.  He knows what He is doing.  I'm sure it saddens Him when man departs from that.

 

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1 minute ago, jewels8 said:

I know there have been some general authorities of the Church who have had some things to say that show that we shouldn't expect everyone to have to practice polygamy in heaven, that there will be monogomy in heaven too.  And there is nothing selfish about having monogomous families.   A husband and wife and children that love each other is normal and healthy.  Just look around and see what happens when that doesn't work.  And see how good it is when it does.  The Lord started with Adam and Eve.  He knows what He is doing.  I'm sure it saddens Him when man departs from that.

 

If you view Adam and Eve as the ideal for romantic love, then naturally you understand why Pearson’s support of gay marriage constitutes the embrace of such a pernicious falsehood, right, Jewels8?

Right?

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8 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

I know there have been some general authorities of the Church who have had some things to say that show that we shouldn't expect everyone to have to practice polygamy in heaven, that there will be monogomy in heaven too.  And there is nothing selfish about having monogomous families.   A husband and wife and children that love each other is normal and healthy.  Just look around and see what happens when that doesn't work.  And see how good it is when it does.  The Lord started with Adam and Eve.  He knows what He is doing.  I'm sure it saddens Him when man departs from that.

 

Amen!

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9 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

I know there have been some general authorities of the Church who have had some things to say that show that we shouldn't expect everyone to have to practice polygamy in heaven, that there will be monogomy in heaven too.  And there is nothing selfish about having monogomous families.   A husband and wife and children that love each other is normal and healthy.  Just look around and see what happens when that doesn't work.  And see how good it is when it does.  The Lord started with Adam and Eve.  He knows what He is doing.  I'm sure it saddens Him when man departs from that.

 

Polygamy is a sensitive topic to bring up and can be difficult to discuss at times.  I know many women who have problems with how they perceive polygamy to be and how they think it is or was practiced.  When you stated that it should be something that is dealt with sensitivity, I think you are absolutely correct.  My wife is one who has been greatly disturbed by the idea of polygamy and polygamous marriages.  Luckily, seeing at the ages we are, and the likelihood of men to die first, I don't think the issue of a second wife or anything like that will ever become something She and I would ever deal with.  I, for one, with the volumes of history and other works am more than happy to spend the rest of my days among my books if she passes before me.

Polygamy is ONLY to be practiced WHEN and WHERE the Lord commands, not as a common place occurrence.  I cannot speak for all men, and some may feel inspired to be remarried when a spouse passes away.  This is something they are allowed to do.  The big thing I know is that the Lord is just.  In the life to come, if things that are unjust have occurred, justice will be done.  He is also merciful, and if one has lost or lacked certain privileges in this life, somehow, and someway through the Lord he will make it so no one looses out on blessings.

I do not know how it is to be done.  For now, and in our place, I think we can take Jacob's words to heart.  Adam and Eve as our fore parents are good examples.  Adam cared enough about the Lord and about Eve to partake of the forbidden fruit, even though he knew that in doing so, he would be cast out of the garden of Eden with Eve.  He chose to stay with his wife despite great challenges, and with her he knew joy with their family. 

We are to stick to our spouses in marriage, and when our children know that we love each other, I personally believe that this makes them have a greater chance at a spiritual and emotional well being. 

Carol Lynn Pearson has had a hard life in love and marriage.  She had a husband that she loved, and still loves.  Unfortunately, her husband felt that he had desires that he wanted to deal with in ways that are not in accordance with the church (from what I understand, I may be wrong).  When one falls to physical lust and emotional attraction rather than the things of the LORD, marriage and the family are some of the first things to suffer.  This is not just something that applies to homosexually attracted individuals, but ANY individual that feels the draw of lust and denies the greater joys of family and children.  When a man or woman in a heterosexual relationship feels that they need to feed their lust and go after a younger, or more energetic, or more physically fit, or any other type of worldly desire and abandon the family that they have already established...it is a tragic circumstance. 

Sister Pearson still tries to support the husband she married to the best she can.  Who are we to fault her for this?  Maybe those who are better than I, but I cannot AT THIS MOMENT (who knows what the future holds?).  If anyone is to judge it would be her church leaders.  I know that she has apparently had a very hard time.

IN addition, the idea of polygamy in the way it is portrayed by the world is something that bothers MANY sisters in the church when they talk about it.  It disturbs them and makes them unhappy.  I think a lot of this is because we see it portrayed as the world portrays it, and not as it would be done when commanded of the Lord.  Luckily, I have never had to deal with this trial, and so cannot expound much upon it.  I do understand (as I said, my wife is also one that is disturbed by it, and she is one I would never willingly hurt or want to bring anger or sadness to in any way) why it brings so much unhappiness.  In fact, turning to Jacob again, he encapsulates this in his verses where he condemns those men who are trying to practice this fallen idea where they have a polygamous relationship without the Lord's approval.  He states it brings a great deal of sadness and he hears the complaints of the children and spouses of these evil men.

We know the Lord commands it at times.  I do not know the answers to all things though.  I think we can sympathize with those who are hurt by it, and be sensitive to the feelings of the men and women who are disturbed.  I think it has it's time and place, and as the Lord wills, We should be willing to obey.

Right now, I think no one should start out with the goal to be in a polygamous marriage, and as you state, the Lord is pleased when we are in a monogamous marriage.  He is pleased with a marriage between one man and one woman, sealed for eternity in a celestial marriage.  If we aim to be righteous and be faithful to our husband or wife (depending of course on what you were born as), I do not think the Lord will ever fault us for that and in fact will be well pleased if we are loyal to the one we are married to from the beginning.

 

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13 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

Right now, I think no one should start out with the goal to be in a polygamous marriage, and as you state, the Lord is pleased when we are in a monogamous marriage.  He is pleased with a marriage between one man and one woman, sealed for eternity in a celestial marriage.  If we aim to be righteous and be faithful to our husband or wife (depending of course on what you were born as), I do not think the Lord will ever fault us for that and in fact will be well pleased if we are loyal to the one we are married to from the beginning.

Thank-you for the compassionate tone to this response.  

i don't agree with polygamy in any way - and that belief carries with it zero demands from anyone else.  i only mention it because it highlights that despite disagreeing, i can still sincerely appreciate the manner in which you expressed your thoughts.

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47 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

Sister Pearson still tries to support the husband she married to the best she can.

Pearson's homosexual husband died of AIDS in 1984.

47 minutes ago, JohnsonJones said:

Who are we to fault her for this?  Maybe those who are better than I, but I cannot AT THIS MOMENT (who knows what the future holds?).  If anyone is to judge it would be her church leaders.

No one has faulted Pearson for her fidelity to her husband. People have faulted her for being in a state of apostasy. That is not passing personal moral judgment; it is simply recognizing reality (assuming the reports about her are true).

Edited by Vort
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Thank you for the well thought out responses.  I found an article written by Greg Trimble entitled something like, What Every Mormon Really Needs to Know About Polygamy and he has it on Greg Trimble.com.  And he reflects on some studying he and his wife did on the subject regarding Doctrine & Covenants Section 132.  He relates how polygamy is not a requirement for exaltation, as some may have mistakenly believe.  As for Carol Lynn Pearson, I think if there were a problem with her standing in the church, it would have made headlines, with her being so well known.  I think she is sincerely trying to do her best.  I, of course, don't know her personally, and do not know the situation, but I am not wanting to judge her. That is not my place.

   I am grateful that the Church practices monogomy and that I can enjoy my marriage  for now.   I can feel peace about that for now.

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4 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

Thank you for the well thought out responses.  I found an article written by Greg Trimble entitled something like, What Every Mormon Really Needs to Know About Polygamy and he has it on Greg Trimble.com.  And he reflects on some studying he and his wife did on the subject regarding Doctrine & Covenants Section 132.  He relates how polygamy is not a requirement for exaltation, as some may have mistakenly believe.  As for Carol Lynn Pearson, I think if there were a problem with her standing in the church, it would have made headlines, with her being so well known.  I think she is sincerely trying to do her best.  I, of course, don't know her personally, and do not know the situation, but I am not wanting to judge her. That is not my place.

   I am grateful that the Church practices monogomy and that I can enjoy my marriage  for now.   I can feel peace about that for now.

I don't know Carol's standing in the church.  I do know that her daughter Emily is a vocal ex-Mormon.

I'm not sure why you say "for now".  Why "for now"?  You don't expect to enjoy your marriage for eternity?  

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17 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

Thank you for the well thought out responses.  I found an article written by Greg Trimble entitled something like, What Every Mormon Really Needs to Know About Polygamy and he has it on Greg Trimble.com.  And he reflects on some studying he and his wife did on the subject regarding Doctrine & Covenants Section 132.  He relates how polygamy is not a requirement for exaltation, as some may have mistakenly believe.  As for Carol Lynn Pearson, I think if there were a problem with her standing in the church, it would have made headlines, with her being so well known.  I think she is sincerely trying to do her best.  I, of course, don't know her personally, and do not know the situation, but I am not wanting to judge her. That is not my place.

   I am grateful that the Church practices monogomy and that I can enjoy my marriage  for now.   I can feel peace about that for now.

Not only is polygamy not a requirement for salvation, God's greatest gift to us is agency: we each have the choice of who to be married to.  God will never/cannot force anyone into a relationship with another person, let alone a polygamous one.  

Edited by Jane_Doe
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I am saying "for now"  because I really don't know what the future holds.  Of course I expect and hope to be married for eternity,but I will have to earn that and choose that and be happy with that.  As far as God not 'forcing' us to live a polygamous marriage , that is 'true' but if he were to ask my husband to take a 2nd wife and I didn't want him to, and if I were told I would be destroyed like Emma was told if I wouldn't except, could I possibly lose my exaltation for not acceptiing that?  I don;t know.  Maybe not, but I really don't know what God meant to Emma by that or what that would mean.  Can a  Som lose exalation for not agreeing to accept her husband taking another wife or not?  I really don't know.  Doesn't seem fair, but I really don't know.  However, I would hope not.  But it seems a bit harsh.  I really don't know.  It seems unfair.  A woman can only have her children be hers for eternity if she is married for eternity, but why would Emma be destroyed for not accepting Joseph's other wives?  Why should that matter?  What kind of destruction was meant?  Physical?  Spiritual?  Barred out of exaltation?  Anyways, I don't understand it.

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17 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

I am saying "for now"  because I really don't know what the future holds.  Of course I expect and hope to be married for eternity,but I will have to earn that and choose that and be happy with that.  As far as God not 'forcing' us to live a polygamous marriage , that is 'true' but if he were to ask my husband to take a 2nd wife and I didn't want him to, and if I were told I would be destroyed like Emma was told if I wouldn't except, could I possibly lose my exaltation for not acceptiing that?  I don;t know.  Maybe not, but I really don't know what God meant to Emma by that or what that would mean.  Can a  Som lose exalation for not agreeing to accept her husband taking another wife or not?  I really don't know.  Doesn't seem fair, but I really don't know.  However, I would hope not.  But it seems a bit harsh.  I really don't know.  It seems unfair.  A woman can only have her children be hers for eternity if she is married for eternity, but why would Emma be destroyed for not accepting Joseph's other wives?  Why should that matter?  What kind of destruction was meant?  Physical?  Spiritual?  Barred out of exaltation?  Anyways, I don't understand it.

God's command to Joseph Smith to take on another wife was an important part of the work of the Restoration of Eternal Marriage.  The restoration could not come to pass until Emma allowed it to come to pass.  Emma's lack of faith was a roadblock to the Plan of Salvation and after all the great and wonderful testimonies that God has revealed to her on the restoration of the gospel, this lack of faith would have been a great sin and would have caused her destruction as man does not have the power to put God's plan asunder.  Therefore, it was a great thing that Emma finally humbled herself to allow the restoration to come to pass and her great faith has earned her blessings and spiritual protection in the latter-days especially after the death of her husband.

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Emma did not stop the Gospel to come.  Polygamy has nothing to do with salvation.  It has nothing to do with the priesthood, it has nothing to do with tithing, the ordinances of the temple, baptism, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the sacrament, eternal monogomous marriages, missionary work, home teaching, visiting teaching, relief society, charity, scripture study, prayer, fasting, attending church, and various other things.   Emma was an amazing example of faith and fortitude.  She showed much faith before and after this trial.  She suffered much and bore a strong testimony.  Lucy Mack Smith, Joseph Smith, and many others told of her courage and strength.  A wonderful article was written about her in the Ensign, I think around 1992.  She was the 1st General Relief Society Pres.  She was a scribe to Joseph in translating the Book of Mormon.  She was called an Elect Lady.   She never did want to accept polygamy, but that is understandable.  However, she was still blessed and Joseph took her to heaven when she died, from what I understand.  Even though she had married a non member and not gone west with the Saints.  But she had seen him and had had a dream or vision where she saw her baby , who had passed on, and Joseph showed her that she had that child again.  And she called out Joseph's name, when she died, as if she saw him, as if he was there, to take her home to heaven, as is believed, he did.  However, the Law of Sarah, states that a man asks a first wife permission to take a 2nd wife, and if she refuses, he can still take a 2nd wife, and we know by history, that the law doesn't have to be obeyed and Joseph did not always have to obey that law.   He loved Emma and never wanted to hurt her and it was a very hard thing for her to deal with.  As far as we know, he didn't have any kids from the other wives.

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8 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

Emma did not stop the Gospel to come.  Polygamy has nothing to do with salvation.  It has nothing to do with the priesthood, it has nothing to do with tithing, the ordinances of the temple, baptism, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the sacrament, eternal monogomous marriages, missionary work, home teaching, visiting teaching, relief society, charity, scripture study, prayer, fasting, attending church, and various other things.   Emma was an amazing example of faith and fortitude.  She showed much faith before and after this trial.  She suffered much and bore a strong testimony.  Lucy Mack Smith, Joseph Smith, and many others told of her courage and strength.  A wonderful article was written about her in the Ensign, I think around 1992.  She was the 1st General Relief Society Pres.  She was a scribe to Joseph in translating the Book of Mormon.  She was called an Elect Lady.   She never did want to accept polygamy, but that is understandable.  However, she was still blessed and Joseph took her to heaven when she died, from what I understand.  Even though she had married a non member and not gone west with the Saints.  But she had seen him and had had a dream or vision where she saw her baby , who had passed on, and Joseph showed her that she had that child again.  And she called out Joseph's name, when she died, as if she saw him, as if he was there, to take her home to heaven, as is believed, he did.  However, the Law of Sarah, states that a man asks a first wife permission to take a 2nd wife, and if she refuses, he can still take a 2nd wife, and we know by history, that the law doesn't have to be obeyed and Joseph did not always have to obey that law.   He loved Emma and never wanted to hurt her and it was a very hard thing for her to deal with.  As far as we know, he didn't have any kids from the other wives.

Jewels, Polygamy was commanded by God as part of the RESTORATION OF ETERNAL MARRIAGE.  It wasn't just something that happened in Church History for no reason.

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like, say she lived a good life, got sealed in the temple, her kids and hubby are sealed to her, was a faithful, temple worthy latter day saint, died, and then was about ready to be exalted and then told she qualified but only if she agreed to let her husband take a 2nd wife, and if she didn't , she would lose her exaltation and thus wouldn't be sealed to her husband and her kids and would just be an angel, living in single blessedness, and her husband would live forever with the other woman/wife and kids.  Would Heavenly Father do that?

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Also, is it really Church doctrine or conjecture that Mary, the mother of Jesus (Father in Heaven's daughter) will or is now one of Father in Heaven's wives. Isn't that incest?  And does that mean Father in Heaven has multiple wives?  Is that proven or conjecture that there is more than one Heavenly Mother?

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3 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

Is it possible for a woman's exaltation to be taken away, simply for refusing to not want her husband to have a 2nd wife, even if she has obeyed every other commandment?

I believe anyone can be barred from exaltation if he says No to God's Will - whatever that may be.  So, yes, I can see how if God commanded you to accept a 2nd wife and you say No because you think God is wrong then that might have an effect on your exaltation.  But - that's between you and God. 

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