Asked not to wear pants to church


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1 minute ago, anatess2 said:

Okay, this is what the whole deal was about - this is, of course, stated from a hindsight is 20/20 point of view so we didn't know at the time when the Bishop talked to my son what the entire thing was about.

Some of the Young Men started wearing bowties.  The bowties became a clique thing... they started sitting together, etc., like they're a member of this bowtie club, excluding other non-bowtie-wearing Young Men.  The Bishop noticed this and instead of going to the "bowtie club" to discourage the Young Men in forming cliques, he instead approached just ONE Young Man.  My son.  He chose my son because he believed my son has a lot of faith and has a strong connection to the Spirit in his exercise of his priesthood.  He was a deacon at that time.  We didn't understand this, so we told our son that if he chooses to ignore the request of the Bishop we will support him on it.  My son chose to sustain the Bishop.  So he stopped wearing bowties.  And sure enough, not too long after my son stopped wearing bowties, the clique disbanded and the Young Men became a cohesive group once again.  As I stated, the original bowtie wearing Welshman never was asked to stop wearing bowties and so until today he still sometimes wears his bowties.  There are also Young Men that occasionally wear bowties, even today, but the bowtie clique is gone never to be seen again.  And that was through a simple act of the Bishop to talk to one young man and that young man's faith in sustaining his bishop.  My son gained that testimony through that experience and he so bore that testimony on the podium without needing to mention bowties.

Hmm ok he could have just told him so. That's why I'll never be a bishop cuz I'll just say it like it is and people do t like that.

So not wanting to be cliquish...is your son only allowed to date Mormon girls??? Kidding of course.

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On 3/16/2018 at 12:39 PM, anatess2 said:

...And the reason I know this is because... my 2 sons got this instruction but the new convert who is a Welshman in our ward wore his customary blue shirt and bowtie.  The young men, including my son, started wearing bowties and it became a "thing" - like being a member of some bowtie club and young men wearing bowties started sitting with each other in priesthood.  The bishop asked to meet with my son and he asked him to start wearing regular ties again.  He was upset (he thought he was singled out because he was the only one that had this instruction from the bishop) and my husband told him, you can continue to wear bowties if you like (he was also upset) and my husband will handle it with the bishop.  But my son did not want that.  Starting the next Sunday my son wore a regular tie because he wants to sustain the bishop.  The bowtie club naturally disbanded soon after my son stopped wearing a bowtie.  After a while, the Welshman realized the bowtie club disbanded.  He probably did some pondering or something because soon after that, he started wearing a regular tie.  Then soon after that he started wearing a white shirt.  The bishop never asked him to do so.  The bishop never talked about bowties with anybody else except my son.  My son wanted to bear his testimony about this incident - about sustaining the bishop - but he decided to not share it because he didn't want to make the other kids uncomfortable about their bowties.  So, as far as we know, the bishop only gave the instruction to my son and nobody else was aware that there was such an instruction....

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Some of the Young Men started wearing bowties.  The bowties became a clique thing... they started sitting together, etc., like they're a member of this bowtie club, excluding other non-bowtie-wearing Young Men.  The Bishop noticed this and instead of going to the "bowtie club" to discourage the Young Men in forming cliques, he instead approached just ONE Young Man.  My son.  He chose my son because he believed my son has a lot of faith and has a strong connection to the Spirit in his exercise of his priesthood.  He was a deacon at that time.  We didn't understand this, so we told our son that if he chooses to ignore the request of the Bishop we will support him on it.  My son chose to sustain the Bishop.  So he stopped wearing bowties.  And sure enough, not too long after my son stopped wearing bowties, the clique disbanded (without anybody mentioning to them about bowties) and the Young Men became a cohesive group once again.  As I stated, the original bowtie wearing newly baptized Welshman never was asked to stop wearing bowties and neither were any of the other Young Men and so until today the Welshman and Young Men still sometimes wears his bowties.  But the bowtie clique is gone never to be seen again.

@anatess2, your second explanation provides more context to the story. It explains more clearly the point you were trying to make. Although I'm sure your Bishop could have easily explained to your Son why he thought the clique was troublesome and your Son would have understood. Sometimes being straight forward has its benefits.

M.

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6 hours ago, paracaidista508 said:

Hmm ok he could have just told him so. That's why I'll never be a bishop cuz I'll just say it like it is and people do t like that.

So not wanting to be cliquish...is your son only allowed to date Mormon girls??? Kidding of course.

If the Bishop thought all the Young Men would take it in good faith like my son, he probably would have.  But, I'm thinking he knew that the other Young Men would take it like you would've taken it - "What a pharisee that bishop is!".

My son has been dating a Catholic girl for over 3 years now.  They've known each other since they were babies but they live halfway across the USA from each other.  Well, correction - she WAS a Catholic.  She's LDS now.  My son baptized her last Christmas.

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1 hour ago, Maureen said:

@anatess2, your second explanation provides more context to the story. It explains more clearly the point you were trying to make. Although I'm sure your Bishop could have easily explained to your Son why he thought the clique was troublesome and your Son would have understood. Sometimes being straight forward has its benefits.

M.

But my son is only one person in that clique.  But, the Bishop did it that way and I have no reason to believe he just wanted to make it hard on everybody rather than the decision being spiritually inspired.

In any case, when you're dealing with teen-agers, being straightforward is a hit-or-miss.  I know, for example, that my boys   have this strange tendency to argue with me over everything.  A lot of times, "Because I say so." is the more direct route.  They'll eventually learn for themselves Why without having to go through a long-drawn argument about the thing.  The way my family tradition goes, kids are taught Obedience first.  Then when they got that down pat, then they are taught the more "grown up" Because explanations if they haven't figured it out themselves.

Edited by anatess2
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1 hour ago, anatess2 said:

If the Bishop thought all the Young Men would take it in good faith like my son, he probably would have.  But, I'm thinking he knew that the other Young Men would take it like you would've taken it - "What a pharisee that bishop is!".

My son has been dating a Catholic girl for over 3 years now.  They've known each other since they were babies but they live halfway across the USA from each other.  Well, correction - she WAS a Catholic.  She's LDS now.  My son baptized her last Christmas.

Well you are such a nice mom. Cool she joined the church. 

 I know many parents that go nuclear over that. My family included.

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  • 1 month later...
On 3/9/2018 at 5:29 PM, truthseaker said:

Hello

I have been going to LDS church services for a couple of months now, I'm not baptised yet.

Anyway I showed up to church in dress pants, nice pants not jeans or anything.  I was asked by one of the men (who sit at the front when service is on, I don't know his exact position but he is sort of important at church) to wear appropriate dress to church, women should be in skirts or dresses.

It was cold, I wore very nice pants, what is the big deal?

To be honest I was pretty insulted and am not in a rush to go back this week, think I might skip church tomorrow.

Lol, what a weirdo. None of his business that you wanted to wear nice dress pants. As long as you are wearing semi formal dress clothes that guy needs to mind his own business (unless of course your top was immodest or you pants were tighter than a botched face lift)

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On 5/27/2018 at 1:41 PM, Overwatch said:

Lol, what a weirdo. None of his business that you wanted to wear nice dress pants. As long as you are wearing semi formal dress clothes that guy needs to mind his own business (unless of course your top was immodest or you pants were tighter than a botched face lift)

The OP was just making up a story so she could complain.  As far as we can figure, it never happened.

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  • 1 month later...

Last month, I had to go to Church in a tshirt and capri jeggings.  I was traveling and didn''t expect to still be on the road through Sunday.  I attended a branch composed of 6 families who met at a house rented by the Church that they now use as a meeting house.  Anyway, I walked in and they were overjoyed in welcoming me.  They thought I was an investigator.  I told them I've been a member for 17 years and they were overjoyed still to meet somebody who has been a member that long!  The families are relatively new converts.  I ended up talking all throughout Relief Society as the teacher kept on asking me what the story mentioned in the lesson was all about - their knowledge of the Book of Mormon was still very thin even as they are very well versed in Bible stories.

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6 hours ago, bigcreek said:

There were times I went to church wearing my railroad clothes because I was in another town and nobody seemed to care. Always had folks come up and welcome me, a stranger. It would be sad indeed if someone were to berate me for not dressing as they saw fit.

I went to church once in workout clothing (long story. Trying to help dopey friend. Did not have time to change). No one even noticed. In the lds faith, we accept everyone so people with an extreme lack of social skills go to church. Sometimes these people say rude things. What can we do? 

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Going to church in street clothes is just fine... but going to church in church attire but Not having your tie on right or having it poke out the back of your collar while passing the sacrament is an absolute embarrassment

(I kid of course ;)  )

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7 hours ago, bigcreek said:

There were times I went to church wearing my railroad clothes because I was in another town and nobody seemed to care. Always had folks come up and welcome me, a stranger. It would be sad indeed if someone were to berate me for not dressing as they saw fit.

FYI, this thread was started by someone who intentionally and very badly misrepresented herself (himself? itself?). In all probability, "she" (if she really was female) was not actually asked not to wear pants to Church. She was simply lying because she's a sociopath who likes manipulating people.

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8 minutes ago, Vort said:

FYI, this thread was started by someone who intentionally and very badly misrepresented herself (himself? itself?). In all probability, "she" (if she really was female) was not actually asked not to wear pants to Church. She was simply lying because she's a sociopath who likes manipulating people.

There+are+more+than+two+genders+tshirt+-

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5 hours ago, Fether said:

Going to church in street clothes is just fine... but going to church in church attire but Not having your tie on right or having it poke out the back of your collar while passing the sacrament is an absolute embarrassment

(I kid of course ;)  )

You might be kidding, but I seriously did this as a teenager. After passing the sacrament I would untuck my tie from under my collar. On my way to class one of the young women was kind enough to put her arms around my neck and fix it for me (wasn't always the same one either).

giphy.gif

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22 minutes ago, mordorbund said:

You might be kidding, but I seriously did this as a teenager. After passing the sacrament I would untuck my tie from under my collar. On my way to class one of the young women was kind enough to put her arms around my neck and fix it for me (wasn't always the same one either).

giphy.gif

Genius ^

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4 hours ago, mordorbund said:

You might be kidding, but I seriously did this as a teenager. After passing the sacrament I would untuck my tie from under my collar. On my way to class one of the young women was kind enough to put her arms around my neck and fix it for me (wasn't always the same one either).

giphy.gif

I was such a fool.

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17 hours ago, bigcreek said:

There was a lady sitting in front of me in sacrament today wearing a tank top and blue jeans. Nobody cared one bit about what she wore. They are just happy to see her come to church.

Last time I went to church I wore khakis and a button down. No tie, no white shirt. No one cared. 

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