truthseaker

Asked not to wear pants to church

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On 3/9/2018 at 4:29 PM, truthseaker said:

Hello

I have been going to LDS church services for a couple of months now, I'm not baptised yet.

Anyway I showed up to church in dress pants, nice pants not jeans or anything.  I was asked by one of the men (who sit at the front when service is on, I don't know his exact position but he is sort of important at church) to wear appropriate dress to church, women should be in skirts or dresses.

It was cold, I wore very nice pants, what is the big deal?

To be honest I was pretty insulted and am not in a rush to go back this week, think I might skip church tomorrow.

probably more the local culture and tradition than anything else. better to have pants than nothing at all........ if that is how you would dress in the presence of the Lord then i don't see a problem with it. if it was the bishop or the guy who leads the congregation may have to ask him why and let him know that is your best wear. generally the attitude i've seen is that we'd rather have you with us than not, with clothes being lower priority (as long as they are decently modest anyways).

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On 7/24/2018 at 7:50 AM, anatess2 said:

It's a thing now...

Men-skirts.jpg

in one ward we had a guy who's way to respect was to wear the full scottish regalia, which was part of his family tradition or something. I thought it was neat.

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9 hours ago, Blackmarch said:

probably more the local culture and tradition than anything else. better to have pants than nothing at all........ if that is how you would dress in the presence of the Lord then i don't see a problem with it. if it was the bishop or the guy who leads the congregation may have to ask him why and let him know that is your best wear. generally the attitude i've seen is that we'd rather have you with us than not, with clothes being lower priority (as long as they are decently modest anyways).

FYI, this turned out to be fake.  However, in my opinion, your advice is sound if someone should stumble upon this post in the future.

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28 minutes ago, Jane_Doe said:

I wear pants every time my one skirt gets eaten by the laundry gremlins... which happens several times a year.

I hope the ward mission leader has pulled you aside to set you straight.

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4 minutes ago, Vort said:

I hope the ward mission leader has pulled you aside to set you straight.

You didn't hear? She's getting excommunicated. Sorry @Jane_Doe

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1 minute ago, Sunday21 said:

You could wear ripped jeans and t shirt to my ward, no one would bat an eye. A tube top on the other hand...

About three months ago we were asked to give a presentation on social media. My ward is much older, there aren't many people under 40 in it. Not an insult, just describing the demographics. I wore a polo and khakis, @LadyGator wore a shirt  that showed her shoulders and pants. No one said anything. 

I think outside of Utah/the west the appearance rules are much more relaxed. 

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1 minute ago, MormonGator said:

About three months ago we were asked to give a presentation on social media. My ward is much older, there aren't many people under 40 in it. Not an insult, just describing the demographics. I wore a polo and khakis, @LadyGator wore a shirt  that showed her shoulders and pants. No one said anything. 

I think outside of Utah/the west the appearance rules are much more relaxed. 

I will bet that was a great presentation! Glad that your ward is using your smarts!

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1 minute ago, Sunday21 said:

I will bet that was a great presentation! Glad that your ward is using your smarts!

Oh sweet @Sunday21, I can assure you that a presentation using my "smarts" would have lasted all of two minutes. 

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On 10/2/2018 at 11:09 PM, Sunday21 said:

I know this thread is a fake but....The convert sisters have been wearing tights and flowy tops to Sacrament for awhile.

 I noticed a retired sister wearing this on Sunday. It’s official!

Dresses are over. I have invested in the new dress code. Whee! 

Uhm... are you talking about leggings under a dress?  Or are you saying they're wearing leggings with a blouse? 

Because leggings under a dress is cool.  But leggings with a blouse is... ugh... camel toe.  It's gonna be one of those things that 2 decades from now people are gonna look back and exclaim, "What were we thinking???".  You know, like when you look at them 80's outifts... yeah yeah, I wore them neon leggings under black miniskirts with leg warmers over them and bangles up to the elbows and aquanet big hair and big dark glasses.  I am so glad there was no social media back then.  I'd have had to go talk to Christine Ford's lawyers to find out how they managed to fully scrub her social media.

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On 3/9/2018 at 4:29 PM, truthseaker said:

Hello

I have been going to LDS church services for a couple of months now, I'm not baptised yet.

Anyway I showed up to church in dress pants, nice pants not jeans or anything.  I was asked by one of the men (who sit at the front when service is on, I don't know his exact position but he is sort of important at church) to wear appropriate dress to church, women should be in skirts or dresses.

It was cold, I wore very nice pants, what is the big deal?

To be honest I was pretty insulted and am not in a rush to go back this week, think I might skip church tomorrow.

I think that tells us what he's looking at.  I promise you, they want me to wear pants in church.  If I were to wear a dress my hairy legs would stand out like a sore thumb!

Edited by pwrfrk

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I actually ended up wearing a pair of jeans and a top to church one Sunday, I was out of state and accidentally didn't pack church clothes. I was treated like dirt by the women in Relief Society and was ready to leave in shame......... when the Bishop came up to me and welcomed me with open arms. He understood, and he even guided me into the chapel for Sacrament meeting and I felt a lot better. 

Don't gauge the truth of the Gospel by a mere man and his judgement of not understanding. There are times I go to church in spite of the people there. Faith supersedes mean and ignorant.

Edited by Lindy

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On 10/4/2018 at 3:20 PM, anatess2 said:

Uhm... are you talking about leggings under a dress?  Or are you saying they're wearing leggings with a blouse? 

Because leggings under a dress is cool.  But leggings with a blouse is... ugh... camel toe.  It's gonna be one of those things that 2 decades from now people are gonna look back and exclaim, "What were we thinking???".  You know, like when you look at them 80's outifts... yeah yeah, I wore them neon leggings under black miniskirts with leg warmers over them and bangles up to the elbows and aquanet big hair and big dark glasses.  I am so glad there was no social media back then.  I'd have had to go talk to Christine Ford's lawyers to find out how they managed to fully scrub her social media.

They are wearing very long tops that cover all sensitive areas and...I imagine ankle length garments. Whatever we love in fashion today will embarrass us terribly tomorrow! Good for our humility! 

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20 hours ago, Lindy said:

I actually ended up wearing a pair of jeans and a top to church one Sunday, I was out of state and accidentally didn't pack church clothes. I was treated like dirt by the women in Relief Society and was ready to leave in shame......... when the Bishop came up to me and welcomed me with open arms. He understood, and he even guided me into the chapel for Sacrament meeting and I felt a lot better. 

Don't gauge the truth of the Gospel by a mere man and his judgement of not understanding. There are times I go to church in spite of the people there. Faith supersedes mean and ignorant.

I find this judgemental response to casual dress at church to be really strange. Don’t these wards have any casual visitors? Do all churches in the area have formal dress standards? It is normal here for people to attend a Protestant church wearing jeans so naturally on the first visit to The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, people wear jeans. Anyone under the age of forty at a Catholic Church will wear jeans as well.

Odd. In Ontario if you go to the theatre or the opera, people often dress up but in Quebec, jeans! 

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9 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

I find this judgemental response to casual dress at church to be really strange. Don’t these wards have any casual visitors? Do all churches in the area have formal dress standards? It is normal here for people to attend a Protestant church wearing jeans so naturally on the first visit to The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, people wear jeans. Anyone under the age of forty at a Catholic Church will wear jeans as well.

Odd. In Ontario if you go to the theatre or the opera, people often dress up but in Quebec, jeans! 

I believe this is only a problem in certain areas of the church. About half of the active members of my ward are converts, and honestly people don't say anything to anybody about what they are wearing (I didn't even know it was an issue in some places till I was in Utah for college). Obviously, most of us dress in our Sunday best but, speaking as a former branch presidency member, just having people show up made us ecstatic. Unless someone showed up wearing something truly obsene (which has never happened to me anywhere in the church so far), I just can't see it being an issue. Eventually people start dressing nicer on their own. As Joseph Smith said about Nauvoo " I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves."

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1 hour ago, Midwest LDS said:

, just having people show up made us ecstatic.

Do you think most people in leadership feel that way? 

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27 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

Do you think most people in leadership feel that way? 

I can't speak for everyone, but the answer must be yes. After all, every active member strengthens the congregation and I can't imagine a bishopric or stake presidency that would be more concerned with dress than attendance. I know it always made me really happy, and it still does☺, when I see an old face come in who has been absent or a new person investigating the truth. 

Edited by Midwest LDS

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23 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

I find this judgemental response to casual dress at church to be really strange. Don’t these wards have any casual visitors? Do all churches in the area have formal dress standards? It is normal here for people to attend a Protestant church wearing jeans so naturally on the first visit to The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, people wear jeans. Anyone under the age of forty at a Catholic Church will wear jeans as well.

Odd. In Ontario if you go to the theatre or the opera, people often dress up but in Quebec, jeans! 

I have been in different wards in various states, and found that the bigger cities have a higher dress standard than the small towns.  From 6" heels to flip flops. 

 

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21 hours ago, Midwest LDS said:

I can't speak for everyone, but the answer must be yes. After all, every active member strengthens the congregation and I can't imagine a bishopric or stake presidency that would be more concerned with dress than attendance. I know it always made me really happy, and it still does☺, when I see an old face come in who has been absent or a new person investigating the truth. 

I find that if it is the case that there is someone who is judgemental or has a gospel hobby that they like to use as a weapon that this person also has other issues. The ‘drive people away’ person is unusual not the norm. Unfortunately Mr/Ms Alienator can have contact with a lot of people. Almost every nonmember I have tried to talk to about the church tells me about that guy or that girl who was mean to them at work or at school. It is as though we have an army of Anti-3 Nephites who go around being mean to other people! 

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