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Hello all,

 

A little background about me…  I was raised Christian as a child. My parents eventually fell away from this idea; they were officers in the Salvation Army and were treated pretty horribly. They are still “religious” I would say but definitely don’t align to a group anymore. They were burned pretty bad. I continued to be Christian and attend church myself, however.

 

My story is kind of silly… I was brought to the church by the broadway musical of all things. I’m a huge fan and one day while on their Facebook page, someone posted a link to speak with a missionary. I can’t explain what drew me to that. I was respectfully curious, I suppose, about what the church actually believes. I was connected with two wonderful missionaries. It’s crazy to be at this point now; I had no intention of doing anything but having a nice conversation hearing about someone else’s beliefs and then moving on from there. The more I heard, however, the more I started really jiving with what they were saying. The church is more tolerant than I thought it would be, and when I started attending church I really enjoyed myself and loved the sense of community and belonging. The missionaries set a tentative date to shoot for for baptism. They said there is no pressure, and it’s only been about 2 months or so since I’ve started investigating, but because it’s three days after my birthday, I thought it might actually be a good time.

 

Here’s where the fear and doubts come in. I have tried to read perspectives from un-biased sources, but I feel I’m just not getting that. I feel I am hearing things from a side that wants to do a hard sell, but on the opposite extreme, I feel that ex-members or those who are expressing the cons of baptism are biased as well and blowing many things out of proportion or giving blanket statements based on their personal experiences. All that said, here are my concerns. I am planning to ask the missionaries about these as well, but I am hoping I can hear some honest opinions here too:

 

1.     What lifestyle changes have to be made? I’ve been baptized in a Christian church but this seems like way less of a commitment. What will be expected of me? And what happens if those expectations are not met?

2.     What are offenses worthy of excommunication, out of curiosity? I doubt I hit on any of those notes, but I haven’t heard anything regarding this.

3.     Tithing. I can’t afford 10%. There’s no way. I live, a single woman by myself, in a city where rent is outrageous and I am living paycheck to paycheck as it is and even work a second job to make ends meet. I will give what I can, but does someone harass you about this if you can’t pay in full?

4.     What if life gets crazy and I can’t make it to church or church commitments occasionally? Do you get in trouble for that?

5.     Beliefs. I wouldn’t call myself extreme left, but I’m probably squarely in the middle of the left side. I am not LGB myself, but I am strong advocate for the rights of gay people. I wouldn’t bring it up in church of course, but can that get me in trouble for advocating it outside of church? I did some research on this and found Mormons Building Bridges, which I thought was pretty neat.

6.     Secrecy. I don’t intend on telling my family. At least if I did it wouldn’t be for a very long time. My parents love that I am making friends in the Mormon church, but keep warning me to not get baptized. This feeling is totally understandable, due to their past mistreatment in another church. They are scared for me. Maybe I will tell my sister, but I’m not sure and I know she’d feel disappointed. My best friend is an ex-member and I know it would devastate him if I joined. The church thus far has been respectful of my wishes to not commit to anything yet… if I DO commit, will they be respectful of my wishes to tell those close to me on my own time?

7.     I have read horror stories about missionaries dumping their converts immediately upon baptism and people having trouble being lonely in their wards. In addition I’ve heard stories that once you’ve converted, people will stop being as nice to you. Most of what drew me in was how welcomed I felt, not just by the missionaries, who I now consider friends, but also by the ward. How likely is this to happen to me?

 

I think that covers all the bases. Thanks for sticking with such a long post and ramble here… I really feel called to baptism. I am just scared of the commitments the church itself will put on me, and what can happen if I can’t meet them. I am all alone up here in my city with my closest family being an 8 hour drive away and I am just worried about making such a big commitment. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone.  

  

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@Madeline Turner. Hi Madeline! Very pleased to meet you!

I hope that you do not mind if I only tackle the first two questions. It is late here!

1.     What lifestyle changes have to be made? I’ve been baptized in a Christian church but this seems like way less of a commitment. What will be expected of me? And what happens if those expectations are not met?

Word of Wisdom: No alcohol, no cigarettes, no tea/coffee. I drink coffee for migraines personally. Keep the Sabbath day holy - don’t buy things or work, if possible (or at least try!)

2.     What are offenses worthy of excommunication, out of curiosity? I doubt I hit on any of those notes, but I haven’t heard anything regarding this.

If, after baptism, you loudly and publically told anyone who was willing to hear that you planned to be intimate with as many people as possible, you would probably be excommunicated but you would have to work pretty hard at the whole production. When I returned to church, I had a boyfriend and he slept over. When the bishop called me to an important calling, I said, ‘Listen I should really tell you something ‘...’ He listened gently. I told him that boyfriend and I would have a little talk. That was the end of the discussion. I put things straight. No one ever mentioned the subject to me again. 

3. Tithing (getting a second wind here!) The missionaries will ask you about this prior to baptism. If prior to baptism, you said that you will try to pay tithing, then you might be baptized. In my ward, less than 1/2 of the congregation pays. The result is that they cannot attend the temple. No one is likely to mention the subject to you, unless you wish to attend the temple. Lds people do not tend to hassle. Remember that everyone is a volunteer so they have quite a bit on their plate! 

Something to bear in mind is that the church is open to all so... you may meet someone who has a personality disorder or is lacking in social skills. Sometimes, for example, a low social skills person can be tactless. For example in a recent posting, a ward mission leader told a young woman that she should not wear pants. The bishop spoke to the ward mission leader and the leader apologized. If someone reports rudeness, it is usually something along these lines. I once was very firm with 3 rowdy guys who were disturbing a nearby class. Yep, I was on the phone apologizing for that one! The lds are gentle people and if not, they will be gently told to be better.

Nite nite! Wish you all the best! 

Ow! I saw the next few questions!

4. What if life gets crazy and I can’t make it to church or church commitments occasionally? Do you get in trouble for that? ( LOL! Seriously? We are not this strict! You will become friends with people and these people will miss you and ask if you are okay. How often have you been to church? If you think we are this strict, I would slow down and get to know us a bit better). 

5.     Beliefs. I wouldn’t call myself extreme left, but I’m probably squarely in the middle of the left side. I am not LGB myself, but I am strong advocate for the rights of gay people. I wouldn’t bring it up in church of course, but can that get me in trouble for advocating it outside of church? I did some research on this and found Mormons Building Bridges, which I thought was pretty neat.

EXCELLENT,! I love you already! Promise me you won’t leave! Oh ?? !

Edited by Sunday21
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Hi @Madeline Turner!  Welcome to the forums and (more importantly) learning about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

Your story actually made me smile.  We all come to know God through different paths-- whether it from flaming foliage, verbose asses, or prancing Broadway singers :)

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

1.     What lifestyle changes have to be made? I’ve been baptized in a Christian church but this seems like way less of a commitment. What will be expected of me? 

When a person is baptized, they take on His name, promising to always remember Him, mourn with those that mourn, comfort those in need of comfort, keep His commandments, and stand as witnesses of God in all things in all places.

So taking on Christ's name and serving as His witness is the big thing.  However, the little things which people tend to notice more are keeping His commandment in regards to following the Word of Wisdom, Law of Chasity, and tithing.  Specifically, it's the quitting tea/coffee/alcohol/money/sex-outside-of marriage that people tend to get tripped up on.  

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

 And what happens if those expectations are not met?  

In other words: "what happens if I sin?"   Repentance is always what is desired then!

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

2.     What are offenses worthy of excommunication, out of curiosity? I doubt I hit on any of those notes, but I haven’t heard anything regarding this.

Child molestation, murder, major fraud, teaching apostasy on a mass scale-- things like that.  I highly doubt any of those things are on your to-do-list. 

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

3.     Tithing. I can’t afford 10%. There’s no way. I live, a single woman by myself, in a city where rent is outrageous and I am living paycheck to paycheck as it is and even work a second job to make ends meet. I will give what I can, but does someone harass you about this if you can’t pay in full?  

The big thing with tithing is not having money be your god, and that willingness.  And no, there is no LDS biggie-man that's going to come pound on your door about the issue.  I would very much recommend talking to your bishop about your specific concerns (this is his jurisdiction). 

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

4.     What if life gets crazy and I can’t make it to church or church commitments occasionally? Do you get in trouble for that?  

Like you can't make it to church on Sunday because you worked a 20 hour day on Saturday?   Why in the world would you get in trouble for that?     Like I missed church the last two weeks because of illness.  


(To be continued...)

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1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

A little background about me…  I was raised Christian as a child. My parents eventually fell away from this idea; they were officers in the Salvation Army and were treated pretty horribly. They are still “religious” I would say but definitely don’t align to a group anymore. They were burned pretty bad. I continued to be Christian and attend church myself, however.

Well, welcome.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

My story is kind of silly… I was brought to the church by the broadway musical of all things. I’m a huge fan and one day while on their Facebook page, someone posted a link to speak with a missionary. I can’t explain what drew me to that. I was respectfully curious, I suppose, about what the church actually believes. I was connected with two wonderful missionaries. It’s crazy to be at this point now; I had no intention of doing anything but having a nice conversation hearing about someone else’s beliefs and then moving on from there. The more I heard, however, the more I started really jiving with what they were saying. The church is more tolerant than I thought it would be, and when I started attending church I really enjoyed myself and loved the sense of community and belonging. The missionaries set a tentative date to shoot for for baptism. They said there is no pressure, and it’s only been about 2 months or so since I’ve started investigating, but because it’s three days after my birthday, I thought it might actually be a good time.

That is kinda funny.  The Lord works in mysterious ways.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

1.     What lifestyle changes have to be made? I’ve been baptized in a Christian church but this seems like way less of a commitment. What will be expected of me? And what happens if those expectations are not met?

1) Beliefs are obviously part of conversion.  But that isn't directly a "lifestyle change."  So, we'll skip that for now.  The rest are things that the missionaries should go over with you.  But here is a heads up.
2) Law of Chastity.  Mormons tend to have a more conservative view and attitude about sex than even most other Christian faiths.  It is to be reserved for married couples only.
3) The Word of Wisdom.  This is what we call our health code.  Lots of health conscious people do the same things or even more.  But we do it only partially because of health.  We also have a religious attitude about it.
4) Tithing: You spoke of that.  Sunday21 spoke of it.
5) Keep the Sabbath Holy.  Again, a common Christian belief/practice.  But Mormons are "supposedly" more conservative about this.  But after hearing a lot more stories of people, I'm beginning to wonder.
6)LOTS OF CHURCH ACTIVITIES:  You can talk to the missionaries about that.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

2.     What are offenses worthy of excommunication, out of curiosity? I doubt I hit on any of those notes, but I haven’t heard anything regarding this.

1) Active apostasy.  This means that you're actively doing things to tear down the Church.  Well, obviously, if that's what someone's doing, why would they want to be a part of that church?
2) Serious felonies.  I'm not sure where the cut off line is for this.  But certainly the big ones like murder, rape, armed robbery, embezzlement.
3) Adultery.  This is on the border.  I'd say it "usually" results in excommunication.  But there are sometimes mitigating circumstances and a truly repentant sinner.
4) Being part of a gay marriage.  This is a new one.  While one can "have same sex attraction" and still be a Mormon, there is still a standard of behavior.  And deciding to be in a gay marriage essentially says,"I am not even going to try anymore."  So, bye-bye.

There are probably some less common ones that I can't think of right now.  But these are the first that came to mind.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

3.     Tithing. I can’t afford 10%. There’s no way. I live, a single woman by myself, in a city where rent is outrageous and I am living paycheck to paycheck as it is and even work a second job to make ends meet. I will give what I can, but does someone harass you about this if you can’t pay in full?

Tithing is what tithing is.

Quote

 “The simplest statement we know of is the statement of the Lord himself, namely, that the members of the Church should pay ‘one-tenth of all their interest annually,’ which is understood to mean income. No one is justified in making any other statement than this” (First Presidency letter, Mar. 19, 1970).

In other words, the way you define your income, and consequently your tithing, is a matter between you and the Lord. Prayerfully seek the Lord’s guidance on issues like taxes, gifts, scholarships, and other matters to determine what qualifies as a full tithe.

That is something for you to pray about and ponder.  Then realize this is not about the Church.  It is a matter between you and the Lord.  No one else.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

4.     What if life gets crazy and I can’t make it to church or church commitments occasionally? Do you get in trouble for that?

No.  Everyone gets busy.  But if it gets to be three or four months and no one has heard hide nor hair of you, they'll be sure to wonder if you've left the Church entirely.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

5.     Beliefs. I wouldn’t call myself extreme left, but I’m probably squarely in the middle of the left side. I am not LGB myself, but I am strong advocate for the rights of gay people. I wouldn’t bring it up in church of course, but can that get me in trouble for advocating it outside of church? I did some research on this and found Mormons Building Bridges, which I thought was pretty neat.

Mormons tend to lean conservative at about a 30/70 ratio.  The 30% usually support gay rights a lot.  As long as they are not supporting sanctions against the Church or taking actions that would weaken the Church's autonomy to preach as it should, then it is usually not a problem.  We all have political persuasions.  We use various points of doctrine to support those positions.  We all believe we are right. You probably will as well.

We just need to remember that we are indeed of the same religion and try to be cordial when speaking politics (or don't speak of politics).

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

6.     Secrecy. I don’t intend on telling my family. At least if I did it wouldn’t be for a very long time. My parents love that I am making friends in the Mormon church, but keep warning me to not get baptized. This feeling is totally understandable, due to their past mistreatment in another church. They are scared for me. Maybe I will tell my sister, but I’m not sure and I know she’d feel disappointed. My best friend is an ex-member and I know it would devastate him if I joined. The church thus far has been respectful of my wishes to not commit to anything yet… if I DO commit, will they be respectful of my wishes to tell those close to me on my own time?

Well, that is a family matter and a personal matter.  A baptism is supposed to be a celebration and a time to share with loved ones.  But it's your baptism.  So, make your own choices on whom to invite.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

7.     I have read horror stories about missionaries dumping their converts immediately upon baptism and people having trouble being lonely in their wards. In addition I’ve heard stories that once you’ve converted, people will stop being as nice to you. Most of what drew me in was how welcomed I felt, not just by the missionaries, who I now consider friends, but also by the ward. How likely is this to happen to me?

Missionaries are like ushers at a party.  They are at the door and show you where there is space available for you.  But they don't follow you around the party.  They stay at the door.  But they are also supposed to introduce you to others who CAN join you at the party.  And they do what they can to get you all together.

Ideally, they would be teaching you in someone else's home -- or even a few families and rotate.

If they are not doing that, then bug them about it.  Tell them that you know they won't be around forever.  And you NEED to meet people in the ward who can show you the ropes after they are gone. 

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

I think that covers all the bases. Thanks for sticking with such a long post and ramble here… I really feel called to baptism. I am just scared of the commitments the church itself will put on me, and what can happen if I can’t meet them. I am all alone up here in my city with my closest family being an 8 hour drive away and I am just worried about making such a big commitment. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone.  

Good luck with everything.

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First I'm going to address a couple of common myths here, and then specifically answer your questions:

Myth: the Church remotely cares about what political party you belong to.

Myth: the Church hates gay people or support persecution of them.   No!   Gay people are children of God, to be loved and respected.  Nothing justifies persecution such as getting kicked out of housing, employment, or things like that--- the LDS church has very much been supportive of that.    Heck, just last August they endorsed a concert aimed to help prevent suicude of LGBT young people.

Now, do LDS believe that Steve getting together with Bob is how God intended things to be-- no.  Marriage by God is designated between a man and a woman, and any other way is going against God.   But does that mean we should persecute these individuals-- NO!!! .  

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

5.     Beliefs. I wouldn’t call myself extreme left, but I’m probably squarely in the middle of the left side. I am not LGB myself, but I am strong advocate for the rights of gay people. I wouldn’t bring it up in church of course, but can that get me in trouble for advocating it outside of church? I did some research on this and found Mormons Building Bridges, which I thought was pretty neat.  

Now, to your specific question: you cannot be punished in the LDS church for doing something like supporting Mormons Building Bridges.  I can pull up some specific reference on that if you'd like. 

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

6.     Secrecy. I don’t intend on telling my family. At least if I did it wouldn’t be for a very long time. My parents love that I am making friends in the Mormon church, but keep warning me to not get baptized. This feeling is totally understandable, due to their past mistreatment in another church. They are scared for me. Maybe I will tell my sister, but I’m not sure and I know she’d feel disappointed. My best friend is an ex-member and I know it would devastate him if I joined. The church thus far has been respectful of my wishes to not commit to anything yet… if I DO commit, will they be respectful of my wishes to tell those close to me on my own time?  

You're in charge of when/what you tell people, no one else.   

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

7.     I have read horror stories about missionaries dumping their converts immediately upon baptism and people having trouble being lonely in their wards.   

Big point to make here: if you wish to be baptized and take on Christ's name, remember that is it CHRIST you are converting to.  Not the missionaries.  Missionaries are routinely rooted out, partially to keep things focused on CHRIST and not the messenger missionary.  Don't convert to impress a missionary.

Now should you make friends in your ward?  Totally!  That's a great thing.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

In addition I’ve heard stories that once you’ve converted, people will stop being as nice to you. Most of what drew me in was how welcomed I felt, not just by the missionaries, who I now consider friends, but also by the ward. How likely is this to happen to me?

Mormons are insanely nice.  Like really really insanely nice (even to the point it drives me crazy).  That doesn't change when someone get baptized.    Note: that's not to say that there aren't any jerks that are LDS-- cause there certainly are.

1 hour ago, Madeline Turner said:

I think that covers all the bases. Thanks for sticking with such a long post and ramble here… I really feel called to baptism. I am just scared of the commitments the church itself will put on me, and what can happen if I can’t meet them. I am all alone up here in my city with my closest family being an 8 hour drive away and I am just worried about making such a big commitment. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone.  

 

Advice: learn to listen to the Spirit and follow Him.

 

 

Any other questions/concerns, feel free to ask!

 

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Others above already gave good answers.  I just want to toss in my 2 cents on these:

 

15 hours ago, Madeline Turner said:

What will be expected of me? And what happens if those expectations are not met?

In addition to what people said above, you are going to be called to do some work for the Church after baptism.  We call this "callings".  It can be something super easy like handing out the programs before Sacrament Meeting or it could be a bit more time consuming like giving a 40-minute lesson in Relief Society one Sunday a month.  These are volunteer services we offer to God and it is intended to be for our own improvement.  So, like if you've never taught a class in your life and you're scared of public speaking this can be an opportunity for you to learn and practice those skills.  Like everything in the Church, this is completely voluntary so if you are called and you're not comfortable doing the job, you can talk to the person who called you and let them know your reservations.

15 hours ago, Madeline Turner said:

2.     What are offenses worthy of excommunication, out of curiosity? I doubt I hit on any of those notes, but I haven’t heard anything regarding this.

Pretty much summarized as follows:  If you actively reject Christ and His Church or if you actively recruit others to reject Christ and His Church or if you actively work with organizations whose purpose is to get people to reject Christ and His Church.

 

15 hours ago, Madeline Turner said:

5.     Beliefs. I wouldn’t call myself extreme left, but I’m probably squarely in the middle of the left side. I am not LGB myself, but I am strong advocate for the rights of gay people. I wouldn’t bring it up in church of course, but can that get me in trouble for advocating it outside of church? I did some research on this and found Mormons Building Bridges, which I thought was pretty neat.

When you say "rights of Gay people" and you mean that they need to be afforded the love and respect afforded to all children of God and that their constitutional rights be protected as they are with everybody else then you are perfectly aligned with Church teaching.

But if you mean that you actively promote gay marriage as having moral equivalence to traditional marriage or homosexual intercourse as morally equivalent to heterosexual intercourse then this will be troublesome.

 

15 hours ago, Madeline Turner said:

7.     I have read horror stories about missionaries dumping their converts immediately upon baptism and people having trouble being lonely in their wards. In addition I’ve heard stories that once you’ve converted, people will stop being as nice to you. Most of what drew me in was how welcomed I felt, not just by the missionaries, who I now consider friends, but also by the ward. How likely is this to happen to me?  

Missionaries are temporary.  They stay in a region for a few weeks or months then they move to other regions.  This is done on purpose - so that the investigators and converts don't get attached to missionaries, rather they get attached to Christ.  The normal situation would be that the missionaries guide you through conversion, then you become part of the ward family.  A lot of investigators become part of a ward family even before they get baptized and this usually makes the baptismal transition easy.  A ward family is just that - a family.  And you know what they say about families - they're like fudge, sweet but full of nuts.  So, you being part of this family makes you fudge, you either add to the sweet or add to the nuts.  Hah hah.  But yeah, you know how families can be - when visitors are around we get to put on our big smiles and make sure our siblings are not punching each other.  Then when the visitors leave we go about our normal sibling lives of a cycle of loving, squabbling, and ignoring each other.  Church is more like a hospital of imperfect people rather than a symphony of perfect people so we try our best to be the angels that God wants us to be but a lot of times we fail.  The good thing is - when you become part of the family, you get to help the ward pick themselves back up when they fail.  ;)

 

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I'm just going to give some advice, and let you do with it what you will.

Missionaries come and go.  The missionaries that are working with you now are special to you, and they always will be, but in a few months they will move to another ward, or go home.  And you'll see new missionaries, and assuming you've been baptized, will have no idea if you are a new convert or a lifelong member.  They won't know your story.  But your ward family members will.  Your friends in church will be there for the long haul, and will be your rock after you join.   Use them as such.  And it's wonderful to hear that you are already making friends at church.  Continue doing that.  They will be your rock when the missionaries go.

As to telling your family.  That's entirely up to you, but I think you should because secrets are never a good thing.  And if they are concerned, tell them that you understand, but that they should look at your life, at your disposition, because you will change outwardly in a way that those closest to you will notice. So, tell them why you wanted to be baptized, what you feel when you go to church, all the things you are telling us.  And I bet they will be happy that you are happy, and maybe they'll want to learn a bit too, just as you did.

And tithing.  I would say, if you aren't committed to it, don't be baptized, but I will also say, go in, with the full intent of paying tithing.   Even now, set aside the money in a drawer or an envelope, with the full understanding that that is the Lord's money, and not just a savings account for a new TV or something.   And see what happens.  If you end up short on your bills, adjust, and if you can't adjust, talk to the bishop.  The church has resources for people in need, both in terms of welfare and in job training and such.  Believe me, the Lord will not hang you out to dry.   In fact, He has promised you blessings beyond measure.  Trust Him, and see where it goes.

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Oh, and don't be afraid to bring up questions and concerns with the missionaries or other church members.  Nothing you say will shock us.  We've heard it all.  And hopefully you can get a better perspective on some things that you might not find from a critic of the church.  And you are, of course, welcome to ask questions here too.

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Thanks so much everyone :) I really appreciate everyone's input. I feel pretty good about this. I know the people in my ward very well and have a pretty good grasp on how things work but... I think a lot of my fear came from over exaggerations from those on the "ex" side of things, and I guess I just wanted to cover my bases and make sure I knew EXACTLY what I was getting into. My best friend is pretty upset about it and while that made me upset for a bit, I realized I cannot live for what others think. I know God is calling me to do this and I feel good about it.

I even worked up the courage to tell my older sister... She was very supportive and is excited for me :) I'm excited to talk to the missionaries again this week and let them know that I'm pretty sure I'm ready.

Thanks again everyone! 

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One thing I wanted to bring up.  At some point down the line you might decide that you want to attend a temple to receive your endowments.  That happens at least a  year after baptism so you have awhile.  One question that you will be asked is this basically:

 Do you affiliate with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or do you sympathize with the precepts of any such group or individual?
 

You mentioned you are a strong advocate for the LGBT community.  You don't have to answer this on this thread just something to think about.  How strong of an advocate are you?  Do you belong to a group that is involved in getting laws changed to include gay marriage?  Or are you one that believes in the rights of gay to not have discrimination in regards to housing, healthcare coverage, etc.?

 

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6 hours ago, pam said:

One thing I wanted to bring up.  At some point down the line you might decide that you want to attend a temple to receive your endowments.  That happens at least a  year after baptism so you have awhile.  One question that you will be asked is this basically:

 Do you affiliate with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or do you sympathize with the precepts of any such group or individual?
 

You mentioned you are a strong advocate for the LGBT community.  You don't have to answer this on this thread just something to think about.  How strong of an advocate are you?  Do you belong to a group that is involved in getting laws changed to include gay marriage?  Or are you one that believes in the rights of gay to not have discrimination in regards to housing, healthcare coverage, etc.?

 

@Madeline TurnerJust to clarify, as some have no doubt mentioned, the lds church has worked to outlaw discrimination against the LGBT community in employment and housing.

Edited by Sunday21
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2 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@Madeline TurnerJust to clarify, as some have no doubt mentioned, the lds church has worked to outlaw discrimination against the LGBT community in employment and housing.

That's wonderful to hear!

I am not a part of any groups or anything like that. When I say advocate I mean that I am very much against violence and discrimination and the idea that they should be treated lesser than anyone else. I guess the closest thing I'm a part of is that I donate to the It Gets Better project frequently, which is an organization dedicated to preventing suicide in LGBT youth. This has always just been so important to me because if we only helped those who were just like us, it would be a sad world indeed.

If anything I will probably put my name on Mormons Building Bridge's volunteer list after baptism :)

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9 minutes ago, Madeline Turner said:

That's wonderful to hear!

I am not a part of any groups or anything like that. When I say advocate I mean that I am very much against violence and discrimination and the idea that they should be treated lesser than anyone else. I guess the closest thing I'm a part of is that I donate to the It Gets Better project frequently, which is an organization dedicated to preventing suicide in LGBT youth. This has always just been so important to me because if we only helped those who were just like us, it would be a sad world indeed.

If anything I will probably put my name on Mormons Building Bridge's volunteer list after baptism :)

Also, since we're talking about temple preparation... that's where all the anti-LDS people lob the most ammo over - like "magic underwear" or "polygamy", etc.  It's a good idea to learn line-upon-line precept-upon-precept, don't climb the 3rd floor before climbing to the 2nd floor kind of stuff, but it's also good to just get an idea that these things are going to matter sooner or later (hope I'm not being a wet blanket... it's not my intent!).

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I am not a fan of the "It Gets Better" organization.  It was started and is run by Dan Savage, who is beyond vile, as in I can't even tell you the things he has said, as they would get me banned.  He is a rotten horrible bigot.  There are far better organizations out there to support.  Find one who does want to build bridges, and not burn them.  He pretty much wants all Christians to be killed.  And yes, he's that bad.

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2 hours ago, bytebear said:

I am not a fan of the "It Gets Better" organization.  It was started and is run by Dan Savage, who is beyond vile, as in I can't even tell you the things he has said, as they would get me banned.  He is a rotten horrible bigot.  There are far better organizations out there to support.  Find one who does want to build bridges, and not burn them.  He pretty much wants all Christians to be killed.  And yes, he's that bad.

Yup.

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On ‎3‎/‎27‎/‎2018 at 6:19 PM, Madeline Turner said:

....

3.     Tithing. I can’t afford 10%. There’s no way. I live, a single woman by myself, in a city where rent is outrageous and I am living paycheck to paycheck as it is and even work a second job to make ends meet. I will give what I can, but does someone harass you about this if you can’t pay in full?

....

 

I thought to respond to your tithing concerns.  Please hear a couple of stories.  I served some time ago as a missionary for 2 years in the Northwester States Mission (Washington, Oregon and Idaho).  To serve a mission I sacrificed a scholarship and all my saving – including my college funds.  Though college was difficult because I started from zero and paid for everything – I finished without any debt.  In fact, my first job offer was for less than what I was making from a couple of businesses I started to support my education. 

Second story.  On my mission I encountered a young boy in Bend Oregon.  This fellow has been on his own since about the age of 10.  His mother died when he was very young and his father was both an alcoholic and abusive.  He ran away from home at age 10 living homeless on the streets.  About the age of 12 a local businessman took pity on this boy and allowed him to work in his store and use a back room for a place to live.  This kid was 16 when I met him and he became interested in the LDS (Mormon) church.  He did not have much and was working to live and finish high school.  He was sure he could not pay tithing. 

As a missionary I told this young fellow that tithing is about faith – not economy.  I told him that if he had to faith to pay tithing he would reap blessing far beyond his lost economy.  I told him to think in this manner – If you had $100 to try to get by for the month; what would you prefer.  To spend the full $100 on your own with your own best efforts or spend $90 with the help and direction of the creator of the universe. 

As a follow-up – my young friend did not have a lot of money after his baptism to do a lot of things most teenagers do in high school but he was able to finish high school, save up enough to serve a mission and finish a college education without going into debt.

My recommendation to anyone concerned about the difficulty of living by covenant with G-d.  Regardless of how difficult such may seem – in the long scheme of things – living righteously by covenant is not just the better way through live – it is much more enjoyable and rewarding.

 

The Traveler

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello all, I just thought you might like a little update :)

I appreciate everyone's responses and advice here. I was able to use it all to guide my discussion with the missionaries. They've been quite understanding of my silly questions and get that most of it is due to my poor, dear parents' fears that I would end up in a "cult" like they did.

Few updates:

  • My sister has been my biggest cheerleader in all this. I never thought that would happen (you can see I had concerns she would be disappointed in me). She's extremely happy
  • My sister talked to my parents and assured them that I am not joining a "cult" and that this is different from the unfortunate experience they had. They were relieved by her assurances and told me they are very happy I have made friends and family in the church. My mother even excitedly asked me about what my future in the church looks like. Again, never thought this would be possible. I'm so relieved that secrecy is no longer a concern.
  • I am getting baptized this Saturday and all my doubts are gone. I walked out of the baptism interview on Monday feeling like a million bucks. I am the happiest I've ever been and I absolutely cannot wait until Saturday. I chose Dear to the Heart of the Shepard as one of my hymns and every time I hear it I just want to cry with happiness. The missionaries are just about done with the program, and when I see how many dear friends I've made in the church will be there, I am overwhelmed with joy. A fellow recent convert is baptizing me and he is so excited and humbled that I asked him to do it; the elder who interviewed me is doing my confirmation and he was so shocked and happy as well. 

Long story made short, my family is happy, my doubt are gone, I'm getting baptized on saturday and I'm happier then I've ever been :) Thanks again, all. 

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 3/28/2018 at 1:19 AM, Madeline Turner said:

... they were officers in the Salvation Army and were treated pretty horribly.

As a matter of interest, I who was mean to them - their own parishioners or the church hierarchy above them? I have known parishes (or rather a parish) where certain factions amongst the members make life very difficult for the clergy and there is a succession of priests all leaving after nervous breakdowns. 

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