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So me and my husband are about to finalize our divorce. We are talking about still living  together...just a basic friends roommate like. Nothing sexual.

Is it sinful or completely against what church leaders would say and would disciplinary action be taken. If we choose to cohabitate after the divorce is finalized. Would it be against Heavenly Father and we wouldn't receive blessings that we could of had if not living under the same roof. 

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Well, sorry this is happening.

Not sure about plain old co-habitation.  Physical relations are out, as you won't be married any more.  But an ex-spouse as a room-mate?  I'd counsel with your bishop on the matter.  He'd be better situated to give good advice based on knowing more about your specific situation.  

A chance at reconciliation can be a good thing, or something maybe not worth pursuing.

Edited by NeuroTypical

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Yeah, I don't think that's a very good idea.  The devil is the third person present when an unmarried man and woman are alone together improperly, and the Spirit sure won't be there.  After divorce, your emotions and his will be kind of funny for awhile, and you may well find yourself committing fornication with him if you spend too much time alone with him.  (This happens all the time with couples going through divorce or who are newly divorced - they may have more feelings for their ex-spouse than they realize, which can surface in extremely intense and unexpected ways sometimes.  It is something I have learned about as an attorney - sometimes divorcing clients do this stuff, and it complicates everything!)

Better idea - get on craigslist and find a room to rent out for awhile with a female roommate.  I think the going rate is like $300 a month here in Houston - very doable on just about any salary.  

 

Edited by DoctorLemon

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I would say it is fine, I lived with a woman when I was in college, we were just good friends who decided to live together. We got on fine, I had a girlfriend so there was never any temptation at all. There is nothing wrong with temptation In my opinion Christ was tempted didn't mean he was doing anything wrong. You will be fine living with your ex husband and if you are not sinning than you will still receive blessings.  

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Extremely unwise. You're going to room with someone with whom you have an extensive intimate sexual history, only you're not going to have sex.

Really?

It's possible, but if you care about the law of chastity, I think it's very, very unwise. Find someone else to split the rent with.

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If you are willing to live together, I find myself questioning why you are getting divorced in the first place.  In my experience, most divorced couples don't want to be around one another; the ones that do are often getting divorced for the wrong reasons.

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13 minutes ago, person0 said:

If you are willing to live together, I find myself questioning why you are getting divorced in the first place.  In my experience, most divorced couples don't want to be around one another; the ones that do are often getting divorced for the wrong reasons.

I knew a couple who divorced to game the IBR student loan payback rules.

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6 hours ago, Sarysunshine said:

So me and my husband are about to finalize our divorce. We are talking about still living  together...just a basic friends roommate like. Nothing sexual.

Is it sinful or completely against what church leaders would say and would disciplinary action be taken. If we choose to cohabitate after the divorce is finalized. Would it be against Heavenly Father and we wouldn't receive blessings that we could of had if not living under the same roof. 

I know several people that have walked that path, must recently being my aunt.  In each case, it was motivated by "let's save money" and turned into a disaster.   

1) For the young kids-- it was very confusing, getting mixed signals about their parents' relationship.

2) For the couple-- in each case their were MAJOR arguments-- they got divorced for a reason, and that pain/resentment/problems/arguments don't go away after divorced papers are signed.

3)  Also for the couple-- there were also moments where things go along, or somebody was sad, and flame re-lit (including sexually).  After a few hours, the flame died again and just prolonging the roller-coaster ride.

4) For afterwards---  are you ready to come home at night, to see your ex and his new girlfriend kissing on your couch?

 

Don't prolong the painful roller coaster.   Instead, have a clean break when the papers are signed.    If you're strapped for cash, get a real roommate (aka NOT your ex) and have her rent help with the bills.  

Edited by Jane_Doe
Because Zil makes fun of my typo's

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54 minutes ago, Bini said:

I'd be less concerned about sex and more concerned about emotional and mental stress from this arrangement. 

I might, too, if I weren't LDS. But I am LDS, and I consider chastity to be of prime importance. But I agree with you that the whole arrangement seems unhealthy, and not only from a moral chastity perspective.

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4 minutes ago, Vort said:

I might, too, if I weren't LDS. But I am LDS, and I consider chastity to be of prime importance. But I agree with you that the whole arrangement seems unhealthy, and not only from a moral chastity perspective.

I understand this. What I should add to my first comment is that most people cannot engage in intimacy without it emotionally/mentally messing with their head, and so in that context, I would strongly recommend that in order to avoid all of that, one would be wise not to reside in the same household with an ex-partner.

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13 minutes ago, Bini said:
15 minutes ago, Vort said:

18_selfie.thumb.png.233631764f52229b08fa1ed82fc3eef7.png

Is that you, Bini?

Maybe.

Well, then, maybe it's me, too.

18_selfie.thumb.png.233631764f52229b08fa1ed82fc3eef7.pngimage.png.5d3ba290d7ec909245f15074859363b1.png

Which is the real Vort...?

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Just now, Vort said:

You would be sooooooo disappointed.

I haven't been around but that Vort pic hasn't been used in years... has it? I just remember it threw everyone off.

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5 minutes ago, Bini said:

I haven't been around but that Vort pic hasn't been used in years... has it? I just remember it threw everyone off.

I replaced it a few months back. I felt like the joke had gotten a bit stale, and that Halldòra probably wouldn't appreciate me continuing to use her portrait in such a bizarrely unsuitable way.

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4 minutes ago, zil said:

It's a well-established fact that Vort is a sock puppet.  We just can't figure out whose.

 

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Hi Sary,

I am pretty sure that goes against your beliefs if you are Mormon. Why put yourself into a situation where you can possibly sin? Or maybe even have the appearance of sin.  Kind of odd that you are still chillin under the same roof if you guys are getting divorced. ONLY YOU know if you are sinning. It does have a weird air about it but  hey, if you have to ask, probably isn't sitting right in your conscience. You are a grown person, you'll make the best decision for your family.

Best wishes. 

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Thanks everyone for your answers...it really was a dumb thing to consider. We are officially divorced and went our separate ways and I am going to be moving over 1400 miles away. So me and the kids can start a new life. 

Edited by Sarysunshine

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