How Do I Build A Happy Marriage After Breaking the Law of Chastity?


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Hello!

So, I’m really struggling. My fiancé joined the church in November, and we are planning on getting married in May, just civily since he won’t have been a member for a year. We are struggling with keeping the law of chastity, and have gotten into a cycle that is proving to be hard to break. I feel hopeless, like change isn’t possible. I’m afraid that since we couldn’t wait for marriage, maybe it means we shouldn’t get married at all. We both know better, and we keep making the same decisions that lead us into situations that we don’t want to be in. I could really use some comfort and advice, and if anyone has struggled with the same issue, went through the repentance process and was able to be sealed in the temple, I’d love to hear that perspective. My fiancé and I so desperately want to get married in the temple, but it seems impossible after the mistakes we’ve made. If anyone has words of comfort, or advice, to help me remember why the law of chastity is important, please respond. 

 

Thank you. 

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1. Get married.  This will fix the Law of Chastity issues.

2. See your Bishop.  He will take it from there.  If you are truly repentant, you will make it to the temple, and so will your husband.

3. Don't wait to do number 1.  if you put off number 1 it will be more difficult to do number 2 

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I'm sorry to hear you are struggling, but I agree with the above posters. The moment you get married, your immediate Law of Chastity issues will be resolved. Follow that up with a visit to your Bishop. He can direct you through your repentance process, and get you and your husband to be right with the Lord. Since May is only a few weeks away, set some boundaries around yourselves and keep yourselves from being alone together. That's going to be a little harder, but you guys can manage a few weeks, and then you can be alone as much as you want☺. You are right to be concerned, Law of Chastity issues are serious, and you guys do need to get this taken care of, but don't feel like it's an insurmountable obstacle to overcome either. 

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I'm in the "talk to your bishop" camp. Bring your fiancé along, too. Your bishop knows you and your situation better than we do and can give you excellent resources on how to have a gospel centered marriage. Hopefully working through this with your fiancé will bring you two closer together and closer to the Lord.

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