Callings

[jewels8]

Most of my and my husband's life we have had callings.  We are both good, active church members.  We do have some  unique family members, but nothing that I think would prevent us from fulfilling most callings.  Yet in the last ward we were in, we were not given a calling for a quite a while or asked to speak in church, for years.  Finally, I said something to a friend.  I would think I wouldn't have to ask to get a calling, but it ended up that's how I got one.  She told I guess her husband, who was in the bishopbric, and I got a calling.  My husband got a calling before that.  I'm not sure how inspired getting my calling was, but I sure enjoyed and felt greatful for the 7 years I served as a  Primary teacher.  Then I was released, much to my surprise.  My husband was released around the same time from teaching in the elders quorum.  We thought maybe they would call us to something together.  But no calls came to either one of us.   A few months later, our stake boundaries were changed.  We changed wards.  WE have been in our new ward for over 6 months now.  We have both been without callings for over a year now.  We have always been home /visiting teachers (now ministering teachers or whatever the title is called)  but I just don't know how appropriate it would be to say, can we get a calling or why or should we just wait.  I wonder why some people just don't get callings.  Are there some seasons in life where maybe you just don't?  We do have special needs kids.  We are busy, but then so is everyone else.  I do enjoy going to my other classes at Church and I work, but it just makes me wonder if God really doesn't want me and my husband to have a calling right now, if it matters, or what.  and when I see someone having 2 callings and me none, I think why don't they spread the callings out more?  Do they think I don't want a calling?  It just seems strange.  My husband and I have always been willing to serve.

 

[Jane_Doe]

Honestly, it sounds like a simple oversight in a busy ward.  Just let the bishopric know you're willing & able to serve, I'm sure they need help!

[JohnsonJones]

5 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Most of my and my husband's life we have had callings.  We are both good, active church members.  We do have some  unique family members, but nothing that I think would prevent us from fulfilling most callings.  Yet in the last ward we were in, we were not given a calling for a quite a while or asked to speak in church, for years.  Finally, I said something to a friend.  I would think I wouldn't have to ask to get a calling, but it ended up that's how I got one.  She told I guess her husband, who was in the bishopbric, and I got a calling.  My husband got a calling before that.  I'm not sure how inspired getting my calling was, but I sure enjoyed and felt greatful for the 7 years I served as a  Primary teacher.  Then I was released, much to my surprise.  My husband was released around the same time from teaching in the elders quorum.  We thought maybe they would call us to something together.  But no calls came to either one of us.   A few months later, our stake boundaries were changed.  We changed wards.  WE have been in our new ward for over 6 months now.  We have both been without callings for over a year now.  We have always been home /visiting teachers (now ministering teachers or whatever the title is called)  but I just don't know how appropriate it would be to say, can we get a calling or why or should we just wait.  I wonder why some people just don't get callings.  Are there some seasons in life where maybe you just don't?  We do have special needs kids.  We are busy, but then so is everyone else.  I do enjoy going to my other classes at Church and I work, but it just makes me wonder if God really doesn't want me and my husband to have a calling right now, if it matters, or what.  and when I see someone having 2 callings and me none, I think why don't they spread the callings out more?  Do they think I don't want a calling?  It just seems strange.  My husband and I have always been willing to serve.

 

Bring it up to the Bishop AND THE Stake President.  You can even express areas which you would be interested in receiving a calling (not that they necessarily would call you to those), and if you want to add a little more pressure, add that you feel as if they value other members more than you.

Of course, if you do this, be prepared to serve in ANY calling they may ask of you.  Sometimes they may not take them seriously and give them a do nothing calling, but other times this gives them ideas and they give you the hardest callings in the entire stake (Depends on your leaders).  You may get more than you bargained for!!!

Sometimes having no callings is a blessing.  I had many years where I had no real calling, now it seems I spend almost all my free time doing my calling.  I sometimes yearn to have no calling again (I know, evil of me, I'm overly selfish I suppose).

[CV75]

10 hours ago, jewels8 said:

Most of my and my husband's life we have had callings.  We are both good, active church members.  We do have some  unique family members, but nothing that I think would prevent us from fulfilling most callings.  Yet in the last ward we were in, we were not given a calling for a quite a while or asked to speak in church, for years.  Finally, I said something to a friend.  I would think I wouldn't have to ask to get a calling, but it ended up that's how I got one.  She told I guess her husband, who was in the bishopbric, and I got a calling.  My husband got a calling before that.  I'm not sure how inspired getting my calling was, but I sure enjoyed and felt greatful for the 7 years I served as a  Primary teacher.  Then I was released, much to my surprise.  My husband was released around the same time from teaching in the elders quorum.  We thought maybe they would call us to something together.  But no calls came to either one of us.   A few months later, our stake boundaries were changed.  We changed wards.  WE have been in our new ward for over 6 months now.  We have both been without callings for over a year now.  We have always been home /visiting teachers (now ministering teachers or whatever the title is called)  but I just don't know how appropriate it would be to say, can we get a calling or why or should we just wait.  I wonder why some people just don't get callings.  Are there some seasons in life where maybe you just don't?  We do have special needs kids.  We are busy, but then so is everyone else.  I do enjoy going to my other classes at Church and I work, but it just makes me wonder if God really doesn't want me and my husband to have a calling right now, if it matters, or what.  and when I see someone having 2 callings and me none, I think why don't they spread the callings out more?  Do they think I don't want a calling?  It just seems strange.  My husband and I have always been willing to serve.

I think D&C 4 gives you the freedom to express your desire to serve to the Bishop, and let him take it from there. Inspiration comes in many ways, and maybe expressing your desire to serve is something the Lord wants you to do.

[jewels8]

I guess I could say something, I just thought that the bishopbric would see callings that need fillling, pray about them, and have people come to mind and/or look over ward lists and have those names come to mind.  But I guess we will see.  In some ways it is nice to have more time to devote to my family, but then I don't want to be selfish and I know if my husband and I were asked to serve, we would accept a calling or callings and try to do our best.  

      I was kind of concerned about how my last calling ended and this may seem kind of petty.  I was in Primary, and I enjoyed it very much and felt the spirit and loved teaching and interacting with the children and adults.  A member of our bishopbric would come give a monthly message and the primary pres was very nice to him, at times it just seemed they were so friendly.  I know it wasn't most of the time, but I sometimes thought it was too much.  One time, I caught his eye and gave him a look and then looked her way and back to him , as if to say, be careful.  Anyways, whether I should have just not done that or not, or if he may have not known what I was doing, I meant well.  There had been something else  that had occurred before, not with them, and not a big thing, but, I guess I just had my radar on, and I won't discuss it here, that was in the past, but anyways, not long after that, I was released from my calling.  

     When I was released, the bishop just simply said he appreciated my service and that we had alot of new families coming in that needed callings.  He said not to be too comfortable, because I'd probably get another calling soon.  But I never did.    Maybe he just said that last part to everybody.  And I know he was sincere.  My replacement was not really very new, although we had been in the ward years longer than her.  That's ok, but I hoped what I had done hadn't somehow got me released from my calling.  Did I make the member of the bishopbric uncomfortable so that he wanted me released?  Did I make the primary Pres, who didn't see my exchange, uncomfortable, and maybe he talked to her, thinking my look meant I wanted a release, and she thought they should release me?  But then why wouldn't she talk to me first?  Or maybe I was just probably too concerned with it and it truly was an inspired thing to be released?  Because the other reason was definitely not what I would consider inspiration.  I just was surprised to be released and hoped there wasn't some kind of underlying church "politics" involved with it.  I know that sounds awful.  I just really enjoyed that calling.  I would hope you wouldn't be released for petty reasons like that.  Anyways, I won't let it bother me, but what are your thoughts?  Does anyone have any experience with that?   Could they be putting notes on a  record or telling the next bishop I don't want a calling or  a primary calling against me knowing it for something like that without coming to me first?  What is Church policy and do they always follow it?

[jewels8]

I mean, under what circumstances do they release you from callings and are there ever cases of being released for unapproved reasons or because a leader is uncomfortable or there is a miscommunication?  Are there any guidelines about this?  Also are there ever cases where something could be put on your record without your knowledge that could prevent you from getting callings?  I would think not, and I probably have nothing to worry about in that regard, but just curious , in general.  I know the Gospel is true, and i know I can talk to my bishop if I ever wanted to.  And I would hope that i wasn't released for any kind of misunderstanding.

 

[jewels8]

Its not something I really often think about, its just come to my mind again lately, and I doubt I have any reason to worry.  It just seems that this man that was in the bishopbric and his wife seem to have an influence that seems to have not been helpful for me in the wards I have been in, at times.  They tend to be in higher callings and seem to say thing   and or do things  that have  come across to the leadership in the wrong way, and it seems unfair, and not in my favor, and not in perhaps my family's favor.

[jewels8]

I had mentioned about them in previous posts, and that was in the past

[anatess2]

12 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

I mean, under what circumstances do they release you from callings and are there ever cases of being released for unapproved reasons or because a leader is uncomfortable or there is a miscommunication? 

Here's my experience:  I get released from my calling not too long after I finally got good at my calling... usually around the 5 year mark.  I've had my current calling for 5 years now... so it would be anyday now.

One of my callings I've had for a long time.  It was the only calling that I could do at the time as I traveled for work - Activity coordinator.  I held 6 activities a year and that was that.  I held that calling 7 years.  For the first 3 years I did the calling solo.  Then they called somebody to be Activity coordinator with me.  I suck at working with somebody and the new coordinator and I just clashed.  So I told the bishopric I couldn't deal with the new arrangement and asked to be released.  They released the other coordinator instead.

 

[jewels8]

9 minutes ago, anatess2 said:

Here's my experience:  I get released from my calling not too long after I finally got good at my calling... usually around the 5 year mark.  I've had my current calling for 5 years now... so it would be anyday now.

One of my callings I've had for a long time.  It was the only calling that I could do at the time as I traveled for work - Activity coordinator.  I held 6 activities a year and that was that.  I held that calling 7 years.  For the first 3 years I did the calling solo.  Then they called somebody to be Activity coordinator with me.  I suck at working with somebody and the new coordinator and I just clashed.  So I told the bishopric I couldn't deal with the new arrangement and asked to be released.  They released the other coordinator instead.

 

I guess sometimes the outcome doesn't come the way we would expect.

[jewels8]

Just now, jewels8 said:

I guess sometimes the outcome doesn't come the way we would expect.

 

Just now, jewels8 said:

I guess sometimes the outcome doesn't come the way we would expect.

I appreciate you sharing your experience.  I'm sorry it didn't work out better for you.

[jewels8]

Just now, jewels8 said:

 

I appreciate you sharing your experience.  I'm sorry it didn't work out better for you.

(to Anatees)

 

[Grunt]

17 minutes ago, jewels8 said:

I guess sometimes the outcome doesn't come the way we would expect.

It's also not always about you.  The person who was doing my current calling was incredible at it.  I can only assume the Bishopric thought I would benefit from this calling or had something to impart that would benefit others.  I doubt it had anything to the person that was teaching before me.

[Anddenex]

14 hours ago, jewels8 said:

I wonder why some people just don't get callings.  Are there some seasons in life where maybe you just don't?  We do have special needs kids.  We are busy, but then so is everyone else.  I do enjoy going to my other classes at Church and I work, but it just makes me wonder if God really doesn't want me and my husband to have a calling right now, if it matters, or what.  and when I see someone having 2 callings and me none, I think why don't they spread the callings out more?  Do they think I don't want a calling?  It just seems strange.  My husband and I have always been willing to serve.

There could be a good number of reasons of why some are called, and why some are not called (at this time). Here are some principles I would think those who extend callings are constantly thinking upon:

1) Who does the Lord need for this position?

2) Are they willing, and are they able?

3) Are they able, but have shown in past to be unwilling (lack of magnifying calling)

4) Special needs children (depending on the need) should always be taken into account after interviewing with the mother and father, or single mother, or single father. The interview will allow the leader to know more about the members unique/individual situation, and their willingness.

5) Have shown to be not willing, not truly able, but for some reason the Lord is majorly prompting leader to call a specific individual to a calling

6) Leader is busy enough that despite their best effort - human weakness - they don't know everyone and thus their name never is presented for a calling.

7) Active enough ward the bishop doesn't want to start making up callings just to give people callings, which some members will be like, "Oh ya, my ward is great, they just made up a calling to give me one. Oh how I feel blessed (sarcasm intended)." Then they bad mouth the bishop and the ward when the bishop is trying to do what is best or right. Some members won't care. They are just happy they have something and are serving. Other members, oh the bishop better not dare make up a calling for me, I am too important for that. Catch 22 for bishops in these scenarios.

As pertaining to 2 callings I would wonder what the two callings might be. Example, I currently have 2 callings: Substitute Primary Teacher and High Council. High Council is my first priority and substitute teacher is as needed. This shouldn't make someone who doesn't yet have a calling feel any less about themselves.

A young men's 2nd counselor, over deacons, may also be called as the Scout Master. There are a number of good reasons why this has been done. Again, if male members doesn't have a calling and sees this (haha, they should be grateful they aren't the Scout Master ) this doesn't indicate or imply this brother is less worthy than the individual in YMP and Scout Master.

If you haven't spoken with your bishop, do so. If you have, then, I believe @JohnsonJones provided a good thought, "Sometimes having no callings is a blessing."

You have a desire to serve, and that is great.

 

Edited April 17, 2018 by Anddenex

[e-eye]

One of my favorite quotes in conference.  "Good inspiration is based upon good information."

Bishops receive inspiration and answers to prayers from different places - holy ghost, counselors, members etc.  You letting the bishopric know you are willing to serve is good information for them and with that information they can do what they want.  When I was in the bishopric I always appreciated opinions of the members and if they desired to serve.  Sometimes you don't realize someone doesn't have a calling, sometimes you are waiting to give them a calling when it's right.  If you have desire to serve- you will be called to the work - for missionaries they asked to be called .

[Morrkai]

As for calling.  I have enjoyed the time i didnt have one. The time of season thing is true, for me and my wife qe didnt have callings for a while when we werent ready for one (not due to worthiness etc....) we had just adopted our son who is special needs and that was our main focus.  Now in this time of season we are  able to serve. I believe everything happens for a reason.  

[jewels8]

I guess that is true.  Does the Lord ever hold it against you if you do not have a calling for a long time?  Can it ever be considered a sin of omission? I do my ministering, but could I be considered slothful for not saying anything or does the Lord think that maybe I just have enough on my plate right now?  Of course, I know others have plenty on their plate with callings too and sometimes I feel a little guilty.  But then I do think its good I can have the opportunities I do and keep my stress level down.   Not that that is a big deal though

[MarginOfError]

I really don't think you should read very much into this. Bishopric have a tendency to be busy putting out fires, and it is very hard for them to always be ahead of the game. This doesn't make it right, but the limits of human cognition just make it challenging to look beyond the immediate issue.

Here is what I suggest.

1. Don't talk to the bishopric. Talk to the Relief Society, Sunday School, Young Women, and Primary Presidencies. Let them know you are available and want to serve. Also, let them know what kinds of callings you enjoy doing. They will very often pass ideas to the bishopric in Ward Council meetings not just that you want a calling, but they will also pass along ideas of what role you might fill in their organizations. 

2. Don't wait to receive a calling to do something. The people that are the most valuable to the Ward are those who will reach out to the members around them, build friendships, and minister (yes, I used that word deliberately) without being asked. Offer yourself as a primary substitute/teacher. Volunteer to coordinate the effort to provide meals for a family going through a hospitalization. The people who just periodically take one task off the Ward council's to-do list are life savers.

I am in a ward with only 120 members, and we struggle to get everyone a meaningful calling. We have no trouble giving everyone meaningful work. If you're not asked to do something specific, take it as liberty to do something you love.

[Vin]

I think the simplest answer is to speak to the bishop to rule out any over sight, human error and just let them know your ready and willing.  Then wait on the lord and ask him.

 

[Guest]

My son had an experience (not a calling) that is probably a good illustration of how we should consider callings.

He was working for his uncle.  They traveled out of state to do a special job.  On Saturday morning he called me and asked for advice on how to proceed.

Quote

Son: "Dad, I've hit a wall."

Me: "Did you punch a hole in it?"  (not understanding what he meant).

Son: "No, I mean I just can't work anymore."

Me: "Why?  What's going on?"

S: "I just try to get up and I can't think straight.  I try to pick something up and I can't get my arms to work. We've gone to bed late every day and It seems I'm working all day long."

M: "Wait.  It's Saturday.  You've been there how long? And how many hours a day?"

S: "About 13 or 14 hours a day since Monday."  (and it was about noon on Saturday).

M:"WHOA!!! Wait! You've worked about 70 HOURS this week?!?!?  Son, you're tired.  No wonder you've hit a wall.  There is a reason why 40 hours is the standard work week.  You're just 17.  You're not supposed to be working those kinds of hours."

S: "I know.  But I see you working that many hours.  And Uncle D. isn't tired.  So, I wonder if I'm doing it wrong."

M: "No, son.  You can't compare yourself to me and D.  We were both hyperactive as kids.  In many ways, we're still considered hyperactive for adults.  I just don't seem like it because I don't get enough sleep.  YOU were NOT hyperactive.  You've NEVER been hyperactive."  I then told him a story of how non-hyper he was as a kid.

S: (slight laugh and feeling of comfort).

(My wife was talking with D. on the other phone.  And we compared notes.  I got back to my son.)

So, here's the deal.  Uncle D. is kind of getting tired of this job too.  It's even pushing his endurance.  He is determined to finish this work tonight no matter what.  If you help him, it can go that much faster and you can get out of there that much faster.  Then you can sleep in the car on the way back.  So, you've got three options:

1) You can decide that you've hit a wall that you cannot get over.  There is no shame in this.  You've already proven everything you need to prove.  I'm already proud of you.  So if you can't, then you can't.  No worries.

2) You can take a break, get a drink of water, then drum up as much as you can and tell Uncle D."I can work for about 1 or 2 hours more and then I simply won't be able to go anymore."

3) You can take a break, etc, and then work until this one more day is over and then pat yourself on the back as you settle down for the best night's sleep you've ever had.

No matter what you choose, I'll be proud of you.  This is only about how fast you want to get out of there today.

He eventually chose the last option.  He finished the job.  But he really never wants to do that again.

I think that with callings, we can do the same.  If we're really honest with ourselves, we know where our limits are.  We go just a bit farther than we think we can and we're stronger for it.  But every once in a while, we need an outside opinion on what is "reasonably beyond our limits".  And if we have that objectivity, we can find just how far to push ourselves.

I once received a calling that I did not feel qualified for.  The counselor who extended the calling said that many people have discussed it and believed that I could do it.  I expressed my misgivings about it.  But if they really felt impressed, I'd do my best.

He said,"All of us have agreed that this is one of the toughest callings in the ward.  So, if you feel like you need help with some aspects of it, let us know and we'll call someone to help you.  It's just that right now, we're only looking at you."

"Truthfully, I'll probably be floundering uncontrollably instead of asking for help.  So, if you see me doing a poor job.  Then I probably need help."

"Ok. Deal."

[seashmore]

@Carborendum I have identified with your son's experience many times in my current calling as YWP.  I can come up with lists upon lists of why this particular calling has been so challenging for me.  I just have to keep going back to when I was extended the calling to work in YW.  I knew the appointment was arranged with the purpose of extending me a calling.  I also knew that I was at a difficult place in all aspects of my life, something that only God and I were aware of, and I had prepared myself for telling the branch president that I would have to pray about whatever calling he extended me.  When he said they would like to call me to be the 1st counselor in the YW, I laughed and said, "That's probably the only calling I don't have to pray about."  I kind of saw the calling for President coming when my predecessor announced her family would be moving at the same time as three other families.  It made logistical sense to change that, even though it's taken me almost a year to find even one clue as to what I'm really supposed to be doing. 

@jewels8 Two callings ago, I was the Primary Music Leader, and my release seemed to come out of nowhere.  I hadn't been in the calling for two full years, the program was only a couple of months away, they didn't extend me a new calling for four months, and they didn't call another PML for about six.  Once the Primary program happened, though, I understood at least one reason why I was released: I needed to be in the congregation during the program.  Our Primary President at the time had a 3 year old, an 18 month old and a newborn.  I sat down with one of my friends a couple rows back, and as soon as the PP went up with the Primary (we have no formal stage/risers in our building, just a portable pulpit) the two oldest lost it.  Poor dad was sitting there with a crying child in one arm, a screaming infant in the other, and a newborn in a carseat at his feet.  I felt more than a little like Mary Poppins as I slid out of my seat, floated up a couple of rows, stepped over the eighty year old man next to him, and took over consoling the three year old, who knew me from singing time in nursery.  I basically just kept her company so dad could tend to the other two as necessary.  He told me afterwards that I came in at the very moment he had decided to walk out.  (How he would have managed that, I honestly don't know, as both girls were clinging to him.) 

Another calling-related story: my first adult callings were: RS Secretary (family ward in college), RS Newsletter Editor (1st YSA ward), and RS Secretary (1st YSA Ward).  When I moved into my 2nd YSA Ward, the RSP caught me in the hallway for small talk and went fishing as to how I felt about a calling.  I said I definitely needed one, but "not RS Secretary, since that's pretty much all I've done as an adult."  I thought she had picked up on my joking tone, but it still took me about 6-8 weeks to get called as a ward missionary, shortly before a friend of mine was called as RS Secretary.  To this day, it has been the only Relief Society I've been in that has not seen me serve as it's secretary. (A total of 4 times in 3 units.)  I'm still not sure if that means I'm either really good at it or if I still have that much left to learn, but I am sure that if that calling exists on the other side, I'll be called. 

[warnerfranklin]

Don’t wait for a calling. Go talk to the bishop and tell him you want to serve. When I did that I was given one in a couple of weeks. 

Or, if you see a need, fill it. Our EQ had a lack of teachers so I spoke with the President and told him I would like to teach at least once a month. I soon found myself on the schedule  😀

Is there a fundraiser or church activity then volunteer. My daughter isn’t big on church, but when there is a YW fundraiser she is always there helping. 

Offer to drive the missionaries around or be the third party sit-in.  

Volunteer for community service projects. 

One of the things I love about our church is that opportunities to serve abound and most of which don’t require a calling. All we have to do is step in and fill the need.  

Edited April 20, 2018 by warnerfranklin

[seashmore]

10 hours ago, warnerfranklin said:

Or, if you see a need, fill it.

"See a need, fill a need."  Mr. Bigweld, in the movie Robots

10 hours ago, warnerfranklin said:

Our EQ had a lack of teachers so I spoke with the President and told him I would like to teach at least once a month. I soon found myself on the schedule  😀

When I was the RS Counselor in charge of music, our pianist slid out of activity.  There was one sister who was always willing to fill in and play whatever she was able, and I fought so hard to get her officially called and set apart so she could receive extra blessings for magnifying a calling.  Now I realize maybe she did get extra blessings because it wasn't her calling and she did it, anyway.

 

10 hours ago, warnerfranklin said:

My daughter isn’t big on church, but when there is a YW fundraiser she is always there helping. 

One thing I've learned is that service activities almost always have better attendance than entertainment activities.  People won't show up to learn how to tie quilts, but everyone and their brother will come to help make quilts for flood victims.  If we announce that we're playing a game for YM/YW Mutual, we get lackluster attendance and participation.  But when we made Valentine's Day cards for seniors?  I had to tell them it was time to close.  I feel like I've read somewhere (church manual, maybe a talk by Pres. Packer) that our youth especially can be entertained anywhere.  If you make that the end goal of your activities, they'll eventually stop coming.  But if you set your end goal to be personal progress, either spiritually or temporally, then the youth will see weekly activities as a refuge from their normal, hurried lives.

[Sunday21]

@jewels8 Hi there! I know just how you feel. I have twice been released from callings just as I got things organized. I had a stake calling  and then was in the RS presidency. I suspect that God needed someone else to grow more than you! I suspect if you talk to the bishopric and the stake presidency, next time you renew your recommend or before if you see them, they may give you something. I teach in Relief Society. I volunteered to be a substitute and they gave me the actual teaching job. Is there anything that people don’t like to do? Here it is being a substitute teacher. Offering to do the job that no one else wants sometimes works.

Are you near a temple? That is a calling that rocks! You learn a lot!

i doubt very much that there is an unofficial, eg nonactivity restricted file on us.

Hugs!

Edited April 21, 2018 by Sunday21