When do you stop praying for someone in a specific circumstance?

[Vort]

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

[Grunt]

7 minutes ago, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

3

Here's my usual disclaimer:  I know less than nothing.  Realizing that I know less than nothing doesn't stop me from running my jello eater.

I thought of this one, too.  I've been praying for someone who has had no improvement for quite some time.  I also pray for various people going through various trials or facing changes.  At first, I'd feel guilty if I forgot someone and go back to do it again.  After a while, it just became natural to let the Spirit guide my prayer.  Sometimes I sit there for a considerable spell naming everyone that comes to mind.  Sometimes I only name a few that really come to me strongly.  Sometimes I pray for nobody.  It has become less mechanical and more inspired.  Maybe I've completely missed the boat, but I feel fine with it most of the time.

Edited May 26, 2018 by Grunt

[Guest MormonGator]

12 minutes ago, Vort said:

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

 

It's the opposite of shameful bro. It means you are still willing to learn-even at your advanced age! 

 

 

[Vort]

3 minutes ago, MormonGator said:

It's the opposite of shameful bro. It means you are still willing to learn-even at your advanced age! 

[NightSG]

41 minutes ago, Vort said:

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings.

Nah; it's usually the Baptists who won't just say "all those who couldn't make it here today" and instead try to list them each by name.

[MaryJehanne]

6 minutes ago, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

I know I may be coming at this from a different viewpoint than the LDS one, but I'd say to never stop praying for them! I might also add to a prayer like that that God keeps them close to Him and helps them to grow in holiness. Even if things don't keep getting worse, that's a heavy cross they've been given to bear, and they could sure use any grace they can get! And, if things are getting worse without appearing to get better, God is still capable of miracles, and it would be wonderful for them to have prayers in defense of temptations and to help them turn to God.

To the second paragraph too, I'd keep praying for them (though I'd probably say that their suffering be to bring them close to God and for the benefit of souls, especially sinners)! I know a list like that can pile up, though, so maybe as things seem to become less urgent, you could add it to a written list and just end with something akin to "and for all the intentions on my prayer list" at the conclusion of your prayer intentions. Just look over the list once in a while so that you're aware of what's on it. I often say things like "for all those with mental illness" and "for all those who don't know You and Your love and mercy", to ask for grace for a large group of people. But if there's someone in particular I know who's really struggling with depression and anxiety, I'll single them out. It's important to remember that it's God's will and power that will help these people, not how intricate my prayers for them are!

That's all right!  Though I do think that's a bit of a misconception about Catholic prayer! Proper prayer is not a mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I can pray as much as I want, but it's only because of God's Will that it does anything. I can't force Him to grant grace, but He wants us to ask to teach us charity for our neighbor, among other things. The simplest, shortest, barely-a-thought prayer can have great power, because it's not the person asking who has the power, it's God. Someone might pray for their family by saying, "for my parents, my siblings, my grandparents living and dead, and all my family members" or just... "for my parents and all my family". If there's something really urgent, whether a physical or spiritual problem, talk more about it. Prayers for others at night don't take me longer than about 5 minutes. And if I really want to just talk with God, I might save that until the end of my prayers or cut it down (which I generally think is probably due to my own laziness... ).

Again, I know I'm Catholic, so maybe I don't understand what you believe about prayer, but I'd worry a little less about the lists. It's important to pray for people (in the Catholic Church, that's a Spiritual Work of Mercy!), and it's important to pray for intentions for yourself, but don't forget to just talk to God about, for instance, what's worrying you and what you hope for. Sometimes that's the most effective prayer for me, and I usually prioritize that over the lists, unless I'm really struggling to pray. God knows what your intentions are. Don't throw out ever mentioning your family, etc., but particularly for yourself, if you're telling Him about how frustrated you are about a certain situation or feeling stuck in holiness or how happy you are about a recent promotion, that is a prayer.

Especially if you want to learn to communicate with God better, I'd suggest easing off of a focus on straight "intentions". Those shouldn't be taking up the majority of someone's prayer time. Take a moment, maybe, to add other methods of prayer, such as thanking and glorifying God for His own sake; doing an eximantion of conscience to meditate on where you succeeded in following God during the day and where you fell short, so as to resolve to avoid doing the same thing the following day; and reading spiritual books while keeping yourself aware of the presence of God and talking to Him as you read. I'd also really recommend meditation (not new age type mediation), where you can, for instance, take an event from the Bible, such as the Crucifixion or the Garden and picture yourself there via imagination to ponder the event. I know this is a Catholic author, but maybe just give it a look? I think it could be helpful! These are the steps St. Francis de Sales recommends for meditation: http://saintsprayers.net/St. Francis de Sales - How to Meditate.htm 

The problem with prayer that is completely dominated by intentions is that it becomes mechanical: a person isn't deepening their knowledge of God or interiorly examining themselves to improve, and it's easy to talk at God instead of speaking with Him. He wants you to really speak to Him like you would talk to a cherished friend -- He wants a loving relationship with you, and as in any relationship, if a person don't talk with someone, whether it's a new friend or a potential spouse (etc.), he won't really form a close bond with them. As Christ said to St. Faustina, "Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you." (Diary, 1486)

I hope that helped!

 

[Lost Boy]

1 hour ago, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

There is no right or wrong answer here, I think.   Do you care for them?  I mean do you really care for them?  Are they in your thoughts throughout the day?  If no, then maybe that is how much time you should spend on them.  That is how much they really mean to you. 

If a bus load of school kids in Maine gets hit by a train, do you pray for their families?   I don't.  There are 7 billion people on this planet.  I can't pray for every sob story, nor am I going to pray for whatever the news throws at me.  For every kid that dies in a bus crash, there is going to be another dying of cancer somewhere, but the cancer kid doesn't get publicity.

Maybe I am a horrible person, but I pray for those that have meaning in my life.  And I pray for those who my friends ask me to, but those generally don't get much attention either. 

If it is someone you really care for, keep praying.  Jesus said love everyone.  Unfortunately, I don't know how to love everyone.  He is a God and I am not there yet.  While I want to follow that, I am still limited in my scope.  So don't sweat it if you can't pray for all your relatives and neighbors, kids in Africa, etc.  Worry first about those that matter to you.  As more matter, expand out.

[JohnsonJones]

That's an idea I'd never though of that MaryJehanne brings up.  I suppose if one had a very long list they could write it out and then in the prayer note that they have  list in their hands and ask for those who are in need or otherwise be blessed...etc...etc..etc.

Never did this in my personal life, but that sounds like an interesting suggestion.

[lostinwater]

13 hours ago, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

 That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

Very sorry to hear about your friends and family.

i've never quite gotten prayer either.  Like how are my desires for someone going to be better than God's Desires for that person.  Is God really such that He needs someone like me to bring Him into a situation?  That one i still don't have an answer to.

Though there's one person who had a near death experience and was talking with Jesus.  After being told he has to go back, Jesus and him are discussing what he should do when he returns.  The exchange from the book is below.

Man: OK, you shot down my idea, what’s you’re idea of what I should do?
Jesus: Love the person that you’re with.
Man: Great, I’ll do that. No problem. What do you want me to do?
Jesus: I just told you what I want you to do: love the person that you’re with.
Man: Yeah, but after I do that, what do you really want me to do?
Jesus: No, that is what I want you to do: love the person that you’re with.
Man: Well, that’s simple enough, that’s easy, I can do that.
Jesus: Oh really? Well, that’s what I want you to do. That’s enough.
Man: How is it enough?
Jesus: If you do that, you’ll change the world.

But i think that "Love the person that you're with" could be substituted for "Pray for the person you are thinking about".

i think just praying for the specific little piece of the garden that God puts in your mind moment by moment is more than enough.  There are people getting raped, losing a child or a parent, or their mobility, or their mind, as i write this.  One could drive themselves into madness by just comprehending all the horror and sadness in the world right now - let alone attempting to pray in a meaningful way for even the tiniest fraction of these people.  i have to remind myself that i am just a insignificant cog in a very big important wheel (admission: i am abysmally awful at doing this).

i have to hope that God sees everyone else, and is taking care of them Himself, or has someone else praying for them.  i have a hard time believing it much of the time, but i have to hope.  

The only prayers i feel actually reach heaven are the ones where my heart wants something.  Like the ache and desire in my heart to want something for someone else, or myself (whatever is in my mind at the time) - that is the prayer.  

i have to try and keep my mind from skipping from place to place too frequently, though - also not easy to do.

[classylady]

22 hours ago, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

I’ve had some of the same questions. For me, it just naturally occurs. After an incident where someone needs prayers I’m very good at remembering them in my prayers. But, over time, as the incident fades, whether the person is healed or not, my prayers for them seems to dwindle and I don’t pray for them as I once did. Then, if they are brought back to my mind, I might pray for them again on a more regular basis and then it fades again. It’s like a cycle. I don’t let it bother me too much. I tend to think that the Spirit is in charge and when the individual is brought to my mind, that is the Spirit whispering to me to include them in my prayers. Plus, I do ask to be spiritually in tune so I will know what and whom to pray for. 

[CV75]

On 5/25/2018 at 9:30 PM, Vort said:

I have had a couple of relatives suffer serious neurological injuries in accidents over the last few years. At this point, their progress appears to have stabilized. I still pray for them, asking that they be healed and that God's will be done in their lives. At what point do I change my prayers or stop praying specifically for them?

In the last couple of years, friends have suffered grave losses in their families. I have prayed for their welfare and for comfort for them, that their sufferings and mourning and afflications be consecrated for their eventual gain. How long is it appropriate that I keep this up?

As life continues, I could easily spend 20, 30, 40, 60, 90 minutes doing nothing but listing out people who have suffered evils of some sort and asking God to care for them. I literally would not be able to remember them all, and would probably have to write their names down. So I would go before God at least once per day with a list that I pray down.

That can't be right. That doesn't sound right, and doesn't feel right. It feels like (no offense) a Catholic approach to prayer, a rote mechanical way to secure heaven's blessings. I don't understand at what point I change my prayers for people, or eliminate specific prayers for them altogether. If I were to pray for each person in my family and circle of friends, with any reasonable amount of thought at all toward their needs and my hopes, I would literally spend at least a couple of hours on my knees just to get through the list. At that point, I would not have discussed with my Father my own needs for insight or strength to accomplish my duties and progress on my path back to him.

This question is really about the nature of prayer. I admit it is shameful that a middle-aged Priesthood holder, active in the Church all his life, should be asking such a basic ABC question such as this. But there you go. I'm shameful. Be that as it may, I'm interested if anyone has any helpful insights into this topic.

(If I truly understood prayer better, I would not be asking this question. But I don't have a good intuitive feel for prayer. I pray because I'm supposed to and because I hope to learn to communicate better with my Father in heaven, not because my life experience thus far has taught me the singular importance of prayer.)

I think it is safe to stop praying for someone when you ask from God what He wants you to do for them, and then you do it, and then when you report back and receive no further guidance. Sometimes it evolves naturally, which if we are acing in good faith is a kind of stupor of thought I suppose.

[jdf135]

I believe in the suggestion to listen to the spirit to let you know what to pray for. For me, it's as hard as listening to the Spirt at anytime.  However, I have actually had the somewhat disconcerting experience on more than one occasion of feeling I should STOP praying for someone - sort of a stupor of thought.  In these cases, though, they were people who were making some "bad" choices not an illness.  I have tried to follow that impression as I have received it and I have actually felt good about it.  Maybe I'm odd (actually I KNOW I'm odd on many levels : ) but is anyone else "odd" in this regard like me?

Edited May 28, 2018 by jdf135