False Promptings


Sunday21
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On 6/2/2018 at 8:17 AM, Sunday21 said:

Have you heard of this happening to anyone? Is this just me?

You have anxiety disorder if not OCD as well. There is hope as I have those too and have felt the holy ghost very strongly in my life. Mental illness has been the bane of my existence but confronting it has brought me closer to the Spirit than I thought possible. Loves xo

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There's a possibility that @Sunday21 is struggling with OCD, though I'm not sure about Anxiety, since she has reasons to be anxious. OCD is a conglomeration of symptoms, and simply receiving false promptings is not necessarily one of them. Ideas like that would need to be obsessive and sometimes followed by compulsions to neutralize them. From what you've said, these thoughts may be obsessive, especially the comment about future death dates. However, there's a possibility you may be causing something that looks similar to Obsessive thinking by an overly scrupulous examination of every internal movement. Try to back off that intense of a practice, and see if the thoughts and anxiety about them begin to dissipate.

If you're looking for promptings, sources other than God may be influencing you simply because you're really concentrating on that. These could even be just your own healthy mind or physical emotions, worrying about possibilities and blowing things out of proportion because you expect all of them to have meaning, or temptations, since demons (I'm not entirely sure what the LDS view on this would be!) know you're looking for instruction and either want to mislead you, or just cause you anxiety. If it seems it could be the latter, please make use of the St. Michael prayer, if your religion allows you to! 

Try to use some methods to help you relax (homeopathy like Sedalia can be great, breathing exercises, prayer, innocent recreation, etc.) and don't concentrate on promptings as much. Especially if they're disturbing, dismiss them as soon as they come. (If they're unnecessarily disturbing, that's a sign God may not be the source) Trust that if it's something God wants, He'll make it clear. Also, think about the contents of the thought. Is is something good? Is it charitable? If it's not, it's not from God. And if you do have any form of Obsessions or Compulsions or both, looking for these things are going to aggravate the problem in your brain. With OCD, the brain gets "locked" in something's-wrong mode. A key is to control your emotions. If you feel anxiety about a thought coming on, take a deep breath and relax. Don't let it over take you, or you'll start the chain and your brain will become stuck in alert, even if you intellectually try to dismiss it.

From what you've said, I don't know that the symptoms or the anxiety caused by them are really enough to be Obsessive Compulsive. But, if you think Anxiety or OCD might actually be a possibility, make sure to talk to your therapist. It's important to know and to treat it as best as you can, just like you don't let diabetes go unacknowledged. It may be nothing, in which case, you haven't lost anything! But if your brain is struggling with something, it's good to know how to deal with it so that it doesn't overtake your life.

I'd first just "back off" to see if things lessen. If they don't, ask a professional to see if they notice anything you might need help with.

I hope that was helpful. :) I hope this wasn't worrisome... I was going to write a post about how I didn't think OCD was likely, but on a second glance I noticed some things that might be problematic, so I didn't want to mislead you in case you really did have trouble!

 

Edited by MaryJehanne
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18 hours ago, dddd said:

You have anxiety disorder if not OCD as well. There is hope as I have those too and have felt the holy ghost very strongly in my life. Mental illness has been the bane of my existence but confronting it has brought me closer to the Spirit than I thought possible. Loves xo

Dear @dddd Thank you for your concern. No I do not have OCD or anxiety disorder. Thank you for taking the time to post. 

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@MaryJehanne Thank you. I should do some meditation.

I think that some people have the spiritual gift of discernment and that some are less able to receive promptings. I am on the waiting list for lds counseling but it is expensive. I doubt that a counselor can help.

I am thinking of looking to other sources of light in my life. I work very long hours. Time is precious to me. I am thinking of reducing my lds commitments and taking a yoga class. I need some comfort in my life. I am not finding much help from mormonism at the moment. Perhaps when I retire, I will become more active. I am going to the temple tomorrow and I will talk to God there.

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7 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Dear @dddd Thank you for your concern. No I do not have OCD or anxiety disorder. Thank you for taking the time to post. 

It doesn't make you less of a person to have it. I dated a guy who described what you did almost verbatim and after we broke up he went to a counselor and got help. Not meaning to be offensive, just ghat what you described seems out of the normal spectrum

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7 hours ago, MaryJehanne said:

There's a possibility that @Sunday21 is struggling with OCD, though I'm not sure about Anxiety, since she has reasons to be anxious. OCD is a conglomeration of symptoms, and simply receiving false promptings is not necessarily one of them. Ideas like that would need to be obsessive and sometimes followed by compulsions to neutralize them.

 

A lot of times even the person will fail to recognize their behaviors as a way to combat OCD especially if the behvaiors are socially acceptable.

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2 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@MaryJehanne Thank you. I should do some meditation.

I think that some people have the spiritual gift of discernment and that some are less able to receive promptings. I am on the waiting list for lds counseling but it is expensive. I doubt that a counselor can help.

I am thinking of looking to other sources of light in my life. I work very long hours. Time is precious to me. I am thinking of reducing my lds commitments and taking a yoga class. I need some comfort in my life. I am not finding much help from mormonism at the moment. Perhaps when I retire, I will become more active. I am going to the temple tomorrow and I will talk to God there.

You're welcome! I'm relieved to hear you think OCD and Anxiety are unlikely! Again, don't worry so much about every tiny idea that pops into your head -- they are not all God-sent! Do what is good, and trust that He is guiding you.

I would of course recommend finding comfort and help in the Catholic Church. ;) 

Recreation is important for the health of the human person. If you don't already have one, take up a hobby like art, writing, photography, chess, hiking, etc. Take time to read for fun, even if you can only scrape together 15 minutes.

Take time for prayer at home too, meditative prayer where you really spend time with God. Make prayer a constant part of your life, so that you're thinking of Him everywhere, even during a busy work day. He is the Light, and He won't disappoint those who come to Him. Tell Him your troubles and ask for His help; He's eager to hear from you. If you're feeling something lacking, that's Him calling you to draw closer to Him and His loving Heart. Get to know Him better, fall into His Love for you more, try to love Him more. If you can't get a spiritual guide, look for one in books. I'd recommend Mother Angelica's Little Book of Life Lessons and Everyday Spirituality (https://www.amazon.com/Mother-Angelicas-Lessons-Everyday-Spirituality/dp/0385519850) and flipping through St. Faustina's Diary (https://www.faustyna.pl/zmbm/en/diary-full-text/) to start. There are certainly many passages in these to grant you comfort and begin a deeper relationship with our Lord.

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On 6/2/2018 at 6:44 AM, Sunday21 said:

Do any of you suffer from false promptings? I have had many. My mother is now living in a senior’s residence. She had a fall and I raced hours on the highway to get to her. During the drive, I received several ‘promptings’ that she was dead. Previously I had received several promptings that she would be dead by various dates. All false.

i also received several promptings that I should not bother to find a senior residence for her because she would die before entering the residence. Well my mother is now happily tucked up in a senior’s residence. 

I am now thinking about all the other supposed promptings that I received: times when I have put my heath at risk or made decisions that hurt me professionally and personally. I am not sure that I will ever trust a ‘prompting’ again.

(I think I'm looking at this a little differently from the way some others do. If my way of looking at it is sort of beside the real point then I apologize in advance.) But tell me what you think about whether it matters if we call these "promptings"; or if we were to find another way to describe them. I ask because reading that you aren't sure you'll trust a prompting again makes me wonder (given the context you provided) whether just making the very statement is an act of trusting some prompting. Do you see what I mean? I'm interested in talking about it if you are, too.

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@zil What do you think? Should I go for lds counseling? The counseling is expensive and I am paying the bill. I also have expensive health costs not covered by insurance or government. My issues are that I don’t trust so called promptings. I am really tired trying to fulfill church needs, my job and the demands of my health problems. The church is really needy here. There is a constant request by all church functions to do more. I visited the temple yesterday and one of the presidency stopped me and asked if I could return to this calling. No wonder people move from my region and the rates of inactivity are so high! 

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1 hour ago, Sunday21 said:

@zil What do you think? Should I go for lds counseling? The counseling is expensive and I am paying the bill. I also have expensive health costs not covered by insurance or government. My issues are that I don’t trust so called promptings. I am really tired trying to fulfill church needs, my job and the demands of my health problems. The church is really needy here. There is a constant request by all church functions to do more. I visited the temple yesterday and one of the presidency stopped me and asked if I could return to this calling. No wonder people move from my region and the rates of inactivity are so high! 

I think it's impossible for me to answer that, @Sunday21, but I give some thoughts I hope will help you to answer that.  Keep in mind that I tend to by hyper-independent and so my answers will probably fall too heavily on the "do it yourself" side of the line (I rarely have any other option, so...).

1) If the issue on which you want counsel is that you don't trust promptings, I'm not sure that's something for a therapist to handle (as in, I don't know either way whether that's in their wheelhouse).  It seems to me more like something for a spiritual leader like your bishop to help you with.  While the counselor might help you to adjust thinking and behavior, spiritual gifts and strengths seem like the purview of spiritual leaders.  But perhaps adjusting thinking and behavior is what will help you to then be able to address the spiritual problem either with the help of a leader like the bishop, or on your own (through scripture study, prayer, and analyzing promptings against known, independent truth).

You could always try one session and tell the counselor that's what you're doing, just to see if it seems worth it.

NOTE: I think "promptings" is the wrong word for what you described in your OP.  They didn't seem like thoughts telling (prompting) you to go and do something, but rather statements about what had or would happen.  Perhaps it's the "this has happened" or "this is about to happen" -type statements that aren't from the Spirit, but the "go and do this" ones are?  Just a thought.

2) As for the overwhelmed feeling: I cite Handbook 2, Chapter 19 (emphases mine):

Quote

A person must be called of God to serve in the Church (see Articles of Faith 1:5). Leaders seek the guidance of the Spirit in determining whom to call. They consider the worthiness that may be required for the calling. They also consider the member’s personal or family circumstances. Each calling should benefit the people who are served, the member, and the member’s family.

Although service in Church callings requires sacrifice, it should not compromise a member’s ability to fulfill family and employment responsibilities (see 17.2.1). Before calling a married person to an assignment that requires a significant time commitment, Church leaders consider the effect of the calling on the marriage and family.

If possible, a member is called to serve in only one calling, in addition to assignments as a home teacher or visiting teacher.

If you are in a place in your life where you simply cannot handle the load, counsel with your bishop.  Speak in unmistakable terms - no time for Canadian deference, for subtlety, or for being wishy-washy.  Your calling should not prevent you from earning a living.  (IMO, your career should not prevent you from living, but I appear to be in the minority when it comes to career and employment opinions.)  Your calling should not prevent you from those family responsibilities.

From my experience, to have no calling at all is damaging to your spirit, but so is being so burdened that you decide you're just done with everything.  Do what you have to in order to both sacrifice and find happiness in life.  I have also found that when I have given up everything I enjoy (all hobbies and interests) so that my life only has work, Church, family, and other responsibilities, that too (if for very long) is damaging to my soul.  A damaged soul is useless and needy.  Take care of your own soul first so that you can maintain the strength to serve, even if some people want you to serve more than you can - respect their right to want.

Quote

Mosiah 4:27 And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

If your ward can't survive without you having 3 callings, then let it die.  (Yes, I'm a hard-nose.)

It's because of inactivity (which isn't necessarily never coming to church, but in my mind includes those who come, but never serve) that the demand is high on those who are active.  If all the members were active and playing a part, then they could each have only one calling, and few, if any, would have heavy burdens tied to callings.  But being a hard-nose, I think human groups deserve what they get, and if there aren't enough people to fill all the callings, then some programs can just go without (staffing).  And if that leads to implosion, well, after that can come a reorganization of some sort better designed to handle the load.  (I'm probably wrong in my hard-nosedness, but there's my jerky opinion.)

Prayer, fasting, scripture study are needed - even if you don't trust the answers to the prayers.  (But consider what I said about your OP - those sound like internal fears speaking, not like the Spirit saying "go and do", "this is truth", "be at peace".)  If I recall, @LiterateParakeet took up a study of the gift of discernment and had some success therein.  Perhaps you need to approach it that way - study the gift of the spirit, revelation, discernment, and similar things.  If you need to have fewer callings in order to do that, so be it.

You might also consider whether your employment is overly demanding and whether there's something you can do about that.  A job is meant to enable you to live life; it shouldn't consume your life.  Or so says zil.

I'm very sorry for all your struggles, and hope you're able to find the right balance soon, and be at peace with it.

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On 6/8/2018 at 12:32 PM, MaryJehanne said:

There's a possibility that @Sunday21 is struggling with OCD, though I'm not sure about Anxiety, since she has reasons to be anxious. OCD is a conglomeration of symptoms, and simply receiving false promptings is not necessarily one of them. Ideas like that would need to be obsessive and sometimes followed by compulsions to neutralize them. From what you've said, these thoughts may be obsessive, especially the comment about future death dates. However, there's a possibility you may be causing something that looks similar to Obsessive thinking by an overly scrupulous examination of every internal movement. Try to back off that intense of a practice, and see if the thoughts and anxiety about them begin to dissipate.

If you're looking for promptings, sources other than God may be influencing you simply because you're really concentrating on that. These could even be just your own healthy mind or physical emotions, worrying about possibilities and blowing things out of proportion because you expect all of them to have meaning, or temptations, since demons (I'm not entirely sure what the LDS view on this would be!) know you're looking for instruction and either want to mislead you, or just cause you anxiety. If it seems it could be the latter, please make use of the St. Michael prayer, if your religion allows you to! 

Try to use some methods to help you relax (homeopathy like Sedalia can be great, breathing exercises, prayer, innocent recreation, etc.) and don't concentrate on promptings as much. Especially if they're disturbing, dismiss them as soon as they come. (If they're unnecessarily disturbing, that's a sign God may not be the source) Trust that if it's something God wants, He'll make it clear. Also, think about the contents of the thought. Is is something good? Is it charitable? If it's not, it's not from God. And if you do have any form of Obsessions or Compulsions or both, looking for these things are going to aggravate the problem in your brain. With OCD, the brain gets "locked" in something's-wrong mode. A key is to control your emotions. If you feel anxiety about a thought coming on, take a deep breath and relax. Don't let it over take you, or you'll start the chain and your brain will become stuck in alert, even if you intellectually try to dismiss it.

From what you've said, I don't know that the symptoms or the anxiety caused by them are really enough to be Obsessive Compulsive. But, if you think Anxiety or OCD might actually be a possibility, make sure to talk to your therapist. It's important to know and to treat it as best as you can, just like you don't let diabetes go unacknowledged. It may be nothing, in which case, you haven't lost anything! But if your brain is struggling with something, it's good to know how to deal with it so that it doesn't overtake your life.

I'd first just "back off" to see if things lessen. If they don't, ask a professional to see if they notice anything you might need help with.

I hope that was helpful. :) I hope this wasn't worrisome... I was going to write a post about how I didn't think OCD was likely, but on a second glance I noticed some things that might be problematic, so I didn't want to mislead you in case you really did have trouble!

 

LDS counseling can be covered by bishop if needed

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3 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

@zil Thanks so much! This answer is brilliant!

 

I thought of you during our RS lesson on "Take the Holy Spirit as Your Guide". The repeated instruction to go find out more, then come ask, then go find more and ask again was very interesting to me and indicates that we sometimes need background info before we can understand what the Spirit has to teach. Anywho, that and a couple other GC talks might be of use to you.

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21 hours ago, zil said:

You could always try one session and tell the counselor that's what you're doing, just to see if it seems worth it.

I know someone once who took a very business-like approach to the question of finding a suitable counsellor. They wrote down in some detail what they felt their problem was. Then they wrote down exactly what they wanted from a counsellor and what they would consider to be a "cure" or a solution. Then they approached a counsellor, showed them what they had written and asked three questions:

What is your understanding of my problem

What can you do to help me

Why do you think this approach will work

After going through this process with three counsellors, they found someone they felt understood them and was able to help. Its a lengthy process, but I think its better to find out right from the start, rather than after several sessions, that the counsellor you are meeting with is not a good "fit" for you.

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On 6/2/2018 at 10:44 PM, Sunday21 said:

Do any of you suffer from false promptings? I have had many.

If you ever have a prompting that @zil @MormonGator and @pam are nice people, you can be sure that is a false prompting :) . If you remember how that prompting feels, you will remember what a false prompting feels like, and that can be your guide. 

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On ‎6‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 6:44 AM, Sunday21 said:

Do any of you suffer from false promptings? I have had many. My mother is now living in a senior’s residence. She had a fall and I raced hours on the highway to get to her. During the drive, I received several ‘promptings’ that she was dead. Previously I had received several promptings that she would be dead by various dates. All false.

i also received several promptings that I should not bother to find a senior residence for her because she would die before entering the residence. Well my mother is now happily tucked up in a senior’s residence. 

I am now thinking about all the other supposed promptings that I received: times when I have put my heath at risk or made decisions that hurt me professionally and personally. I am not sure that I will ever trust a ‘prompting’ again.

 

Be careful not to confuse concerns and worries with divine promptings.  I wish I could tell you how to prevent this but it is a temptation to which I find myself vulnerable.    In humor I often say that I find worrying to be the most effective possible thing I ever do.   This is because, 98% of the things I worry about never happen – what could be a more effective thing for anyone to do?

Usually such things come about when I do not have enough information or insight.

 

The Traveler

Edited by Traveler
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14 minutes ago, Traveler said:

This is because, 98% of the things I worry about never happen – what could be a more effective thing for anyone to do?

Ah, like going on about how you're never going to make it through that light before it turns red pretty much guarantees you will in fact make it through the light? :D

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Dear Friends,

I am trying to think about what to do about false promptings. I really don't trust promptings anymore. I have made some very bad decisions based on promptings. So far, rules that I have are:

1) Think about when you had a false prompting. 

False promptings seem colder. More authoritarian. Not kind.

2) Obey the gospel. Well I have a temple recommend. I could do more but not without exhaustion.

Any other ideas?

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16 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

Any other ideas?

Pray about the prompting when you get them.

In the early days of the church many members where having public spiritual experience (think Pentecostal like) in church.  In order for the leadership maintain order and understand false manifestations from true ones the Lord commanded the Leaders to pray.  If they received the spirit then it was of God and allowed to continue.  If not then they shut it down.

Promptings usually come unbidden, and can come from lots of different sources.  Prayer can be a tool of discernment, so when you get a prompting pray about it to know if it is of God.

   

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26 minutes ago, Sunday21 said:

False promptings seem colder. More authoritarian. Not kind.

Are you saying this is your observation, or something someone told you?  Either way, this does not sound anything like something from the Spirit.  I know we're all afraid (somewhere or sometime) of the hellfire and damnation God who's going to burn us to cinders for our wicked ways, but I can't recall hearing any believable account of the Spirit operating this way.

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On 6/2/2018 at 8:44 AM, Sunday21 said:

Do any of you suffer from false promptings? I have had many. My mother is now living in a senior’s residence. She had a fall and I raced hours on the highway to get to her. During the drive, I received several ‘promptings’ that she was dead. Previously I had received several promptings that she would be dead by various dates. All false.

i also received several promptings that I should not bother to find a senior residence for her because she would die before entering the residence. Well my mother is now happily tucked up in a senior’s residence. 

I am now thinking about all the other supposed promptings that I received: times when I have put my heath at risk or made decisions that hurt me professionally and personally. I am not sure that I will ever trust a ‘prompting’ again.

I have found that when things don't matter I often get conflicting feelings.  I won't call them promptings because they aren't.  They are feelings.  When things really matter, they are promptings.  I don't get a lot of promptings.  maybe I don't listen for them often enough.  Generally when it is not a prompting for me, I get a ton of back and forth.

Consider this.  why would you be prompted to let you know your mother is dead when there was nothing you could have done about it?  I don't know if the spirit usually gives us information about someones death unless he wants us to act on something.  And even then, I would imagine that you would get the prompting to do something, not a date.  

Perhaps you pray and ask if your mother is dead..  What would the purpose be in the spirit answering that question?  

I find myself asking if I am being prompted or not.  More often it is just me mulling things out in me noggin.

 

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1 hour ago, Sunday21 said:

Dear Friends,

I am trying to think about what to do about false promptings. I really don't trust promptings anymore. I have made some very bad decisions based on promptings. So far, rules that I have are:

1) Think about when you had a false prompting. 

False promptings seem colder. More authoritarian. Not kind.

2) Obey the gospel. Well I have a temple recommend. I could do more but not without exhaustion.

Any other ideas?

I am sorry Sunday21 that is appears to be a heavy burden for you, and may the Lord bless you through this trial. Here are some other thoughts, some may repeat from previous post:

Thought 1: Seek out priesthood authority and power to bless you through laying on of hands.

Thought 2: Before receiving blessing be as frank as possible when explaining the desire for a priesthood blessing.

Thought 3: Exercise patience toward yourself and the constant learning we find ourselves consistently in, part of learning true promptings is experiencing false promptings (even promptings from the adversary).

Thought 4: True promptings are "good" as in God is "good" and if from him it will stem from a source of light. True prompting are instructive, direct, and often coincide with revealed truth.

Thought 5: If unsure about a prompting, God will give additional witnesses, if we ask (pray as others have suggested).

Thought 6: You can counsel with local ward and stake leadership for guidance and comfort.

Thought 7: Caution not to confuse a prompting (false or true) with our own mental dialogues we have in our own minds. Our own mental dialogue (which is what it appears to me with your mother in some cases).

Thought 8: I will quote @Traveler here, as it coincides with my previous thought about over anxiety, "Be careful not to confuse concerns and worries with divine promptings."

Wish you the best Sunday21 :)

Edited by Anddenex
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The Church is full of false promptings, but they are not thought of as such. I know an extreme amount of people who will take some of the strangest things as a "sign" that they should or not do anything from buy a car to who they should marry. I know people who think nearly everything is a sign. The silliest things are thought be signs from our Heavenly Father, often they can be things that have a negative effect on other members.  Extreme decisions may be made based on dropping a piece of paper or someone being distracted.

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