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Sometimes I get to think that I should have been a write for the ABC Special "What Would You Do" with Don Quinonias, with some of the crazy stuff I think up.

But some of it really isn't crazy.  Some of it is very real.  Think about this one-

You have a fella coming to church.  Everyone knows him, he's friendly, usually happy and he's familiar with the Gospel and Teachings.  However, he's not a member.

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

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Member or not, testimony or not... at least he is at church. Thumbs up for that.
Does someone debate sitting next to me if I'm bald? too hairy? overweight? under weight? tattoo? crying kid?

Sit next to him, in reality, the odor will disappear in a couple of minutes any ways.
How Do Our Noses "Adjust" to Bad Smells?

Quote

This whole process is pretty intense for your brain. To keep your nervous system from exhausting itself with continuous stimuli, the (nose/odor) receptors experience temporary sensory fatigue, or olfactory adaptation. Odor receptors stop sending messages to the brain about a lingering odor after a few minutes and instead focus on novel smells. That’s why your nose adjusts to your coworker who wears too much cologne, but perks up again when he eats pad thai at his desk.

 

Edited by NeedleinA
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48 minutes ago, pwrfrk said:

Sometimes I get to think that I should have been a write for the ABC Special "What Would You Do" with Don Quinonias, with some of the crazy stuff I think up.

But some of it really isn't crazy.  Some of it is very real.  Think about this one-

You have a fella coming to church.  Everyone knows him, he's friendly, usually happy and he's familiar with the Gospel and Teachings.  However, he's not a member.

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

Honestly if it makes you sick then don't sit by the person. Find someone who doesn't mind to sit with them. Totally get that people can be sensitive to smells.

What I find interesting is how you say you sit and make up a ton of scenarios in your mind.

50 minutes ago, pwrfrk said:

with some of the crazy stuff I think up

You can possibly write some interesting novels if you have fertile mind. Find a way to bank in on your talent

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1 hour ago, pwrfrk said:

You have a fella coming to church.  Everyone knows him, he's friendly, usually happy and he's familiar with the Gospel and Teachings.  However, he's not a member.

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

Welcome welcome!  

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7 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

Actually, guys, that person is myself.  Sometimes I don't have enough money to wash clothes.  My shower is a 20 ounce soda bottle.  It's a brutal life,  but I've had worse.

ppwrfrk, have you talked with your bishop about this?  Helping you with these things is the reason I (and I assume others) pay fast offerings.

And you're welcome to sit by me any time - I cracked my head open in 1990 (not intentionally) and it mucked with my sense of smell.  I could provide instructions, should anyone wish to try it and see if their sense of smell gets mucked with in similar ways... ;)

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8 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

Actually, guys, that person is myself.  Sometimes I don't have enough money to wash clothes.  My shower is a 20 ounce soda bottle.  It's a brutal life,  but I've had worse.

Hope things work out for you my friend. 

 

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21 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

Sometimes I get to think that I should have been a write for the ABC Special "What Would You Do" with Don Quinonias, with some of the crazy stuff I think up.

But some of it really isn't crazy.  Some of it is very real.  Think about this one-

You have a fella coming to church.  Everyone knows him, he's friendly, usually happy and he's familiar with the Gospel and Teachings.  However, he's not a member.

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

Depends on the smell.  If it is obvious what it is, then the curiosity or unknown factor is not there.  If it is indescribable, curiosity would force me to ask what that smell was?

If it is mild, I'd try to ignore it.  If it is overpowering, I'd react accordingly.  Then I'd get some towels and spray cleaner and wipe it up.

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A good thing about being a family of four, with 3 big boys, is we can sit in the side pew and we take up the entire row.  So, I won't have to worry about sitting with a smelly person - member or not.  I am sensitive to smell.  It's why I can't go into the wet market in the Philippines or even ride the public buses without being next to the open window.  I pass out!

So yeah, if I meet this person I would offer to buy him 2 decent suits with free dry-cleaning to go with it and I'd offer him the use of my shower on the way to Church. 

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My sense of smell is usually offset by my allergies, so I would almost worry more about you sitting next to me snuffling the whole time.  I promise it's not a cold, my allergies are just terrible when the season turn.  I can't smell a darned thing, which as it turns out can be kind of detrimental to my own hygiene at points, a hard thing for me to admit but a true one.

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Just to be the bad guy for a minute, I'm someone who showers at least twice a day, sometimes three times. Maybe it's my OCD, but I don't like sitting near people with poor hygiene. So I'm a horrible person, but mea culpa. 

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I owe you guys another apology...I think I didn't exactly write the past post like I should have.  There seems to be a misunderstanding.

It's not that I'm poor, really.  I'm a hermit.  Because of that, clean clothes usually are the least of my concerns.  I live "out in the sticks" literally.  After the past couple of years of turmoil I'm finally getting my finances back in line, but I won't be changing my way of living any time soon. 

I simply stay away from people.  Past couple of years have been rough on me as I've been going to college trying to get a degree.  The more I'm around people the farther away from mankind I want to get. 

It's not that I'm anti-social, because I'm not.  I have grown fond of privacy, and being around people tends to interfere with that.  And sometimes when someone steps too far into my private world, I bark at them.  Not intending to be a jerk, really.  So far the ward I'm going to is pretty cool and I get along with most anyone there.

I did not write this asking for anything but views and guidance.  I appreciate the offers that came through, but I wrote this post for a different reason.  You see, being a hermit made me, for the longest time, one that really wouldn't care the least if others were offended by my presence.  Changing is hard.

I done said too much, odds are those that know me in real life, now know me here.  Grrrr!

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1 hour ago, pwrfrk said:

I owe you guys another apology...I think I didn't exactly write the past post like I should have.  There seems to be a misunderstanding.

It's not that I'm poor, really.  I'm a hermit.  Because of that, clean clothes usually are the least of my concerns.  I live "out in the sticks" literally.  After the past couple of years of turmoil I'm finally getting my finances back in line, but I won't be changing my way of living any time soon. 

I simply stay away from people.  Past couple of years have been rough on me as I've been going to college trying to get a degree.  The more I'm around people the farther away from mankind I want to get. 

It's not that I'm anti-social, because I'm not.  I have grown fond of privacy, and being around people tends to interfere with that.  And sometimes when someone steps too far into my private world, I bark at them.  Not intending to be a jerk, really.  So far the ward I'm going to is pretty cool and I get along with most anyone there.

I did not write this asking for anything but views and guidance.  I appreciate the offers that came through, but I wrote this post for a different reason.  You see, being a hermit made me, for the longest time, one that really wouldn't care the least if others were offended by my presence.  Changing is hard.

I done said too much, odds are those that know me in real life, now know me here.  Grrrr!

The MormonHub community is not all that vast, the likely hood of one of us knowing you is very low :)

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3 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

 You see, being a hermit made me, for the longest time, one that really wouldn't care the least if others were offended by my presence.  Changing is hard.

It's a service you do.  Trying not to offend people is a way to serve them.  So, even if you don't pick up a single box to move some family from home A to home B, just making sure they don't have to sniff armpit-sour scent is a great service.

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On 6/3/2018 at 11:43 AM, pwrfrk said:

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

I have a crappier sense of smell to the next guy over, sounds like we could be good buddies.  Should I notice, I remember the old wise saying "What if everyone's sins came with an odor".  Whenever I think of that, and consider what I'd smell like in such a world, well, I get grateful that someone would want to sit next to me.

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4 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

I owe you guys another apology...I think I didn't exactly write the past post like I should have.  There seems to be a misunderstanding.

It's not that I'm poor, really.  I'm a hermit.  Because of that, clean clothes usually are the least of my concerns.  I live "out in the sticks" literally.  After the past couple of years of turmoil I'm finally getting my finances back in line, but I won't be changing my way of living any time soon. 

I simply stay away from people.  Past couple of years have been rough on me as I've been going to college trying to get a degree.  The more I'm around people the farther away from mankind I want to get. 

It's not that I'm anti-social, because I'm not.  I have grown fond of privacy, and being around people tends to interfere with that.  And sometimes when someone steps too far into my private world, I bark at them.  Not intending to be a jerk, really.  So far the ward I'm going to is pretty cool and I get along with most anyone there.

I did not write this asking for anything but views and guidance.  I appreciate the offers that came through, but I wrote this post for a different reason.  You see, being a hermit made me, for the longest time, one that really wouldn't care the least if others were offended by my presence.  Changing is hard.

I done said too much, odds are those that know me in real life, now know me here.  Grrrr!

SO you are choosing to have poor hygiene, and want to know if others will be offended by  your smell and would be willing to sit with you? 

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5 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

I owe you guys another apology...I think I didn't exactly write the past post like I should have.  There seems to be a misunderstanding.

It's not that I'm poor, really.  I'm a hermit.  Because of that, clean clothes usually are the least of my concerns.  I live "out in the sticks" literally.  After the past couple of years of turmoil I'm finally getting my finances back in line, but I won't be changing my way of living any time soon. 

I simply stay away from people.  Past couple of years have been rough on me as I've been going to college trying to get a degree.  The more I'm around people the farther away from mankind I want to get. 

It's not that I'm anti-social, because I'm not.  I have grown fond of privacy, and being around people tends to interfere with that.  And sometimes when someone steps too far into my private world, I bark at them.  Not intending to be a jerk, really.  So far the ward I'm going to is pretty cool and I get along with most anyone there.

I did not write this asking for anything but views and guidance.  I appreciate the offers that came through, but I wrote this post for a different reason.  You see, being a hermit made me, for the longest time, one that really wouldn't care the least if others were offended by my presence.  Changing is hard.

I done said too much, odds are those that know me in real life, now know me here.  Grrrr!

I don't really understand either of your posts, but here is my 2 cents:

If you want people to leave you alone, by all means continue to not shower or be clean.  Really work on your smell, and the whole hermit thing will work out just fine.

If you want to have people talk to you and interact with you, then take a shower once a week and put on clean clothes.  Sunday would be the day for this.

 

So the real question becomes "what do you want?"

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1 hour ago, mdfxdb said:

If you want to have people talk to you and interact with you, then take a shower once a week and put on clean clothes. 

I'm with you, but showering once a week is a terrible idea if you want people to pay attention to you. Like it or not, most people in America/Canada etc (90% of so) shower daily. You need to shower much more frequently than weekly and practice decent hygiene if you want people to interact with you. 
 

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4 hours ago, MormonGator said:

I'm with you, but showering once a week is a terrible idea if you want people to pay attention to you. Like it or not, most people in America/Canada etc (90% of so) shower daily. You need to shower much more frequently than weekly and practice decent hygiene if you want people to interact with you. 
 

Agree, but OP only mentions church on Sundays, so in his case once would be sufficient, as long as it is Sunday morning.

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My second biggest error was posting the question in the OP.  The biggest error was trying to reword what I was trying to say when in the end I made it even worse.  Every time I try to say what I'm wanting to say, I make everything worse. 

A couple people have PM'd me, and I thank you for your concerns.

Omega, it's nothing like that at all.

 

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On 6/3/2018 at 11:43 AM, pwrfrk said:

Sometimes I get to think that I should have been a write for the ABC Special "What Would You Do" with Don Quinonias, with some of the crazy stuff I think up.

But some of it really isn't crazy.  Some of it is very real.  Think about this one-

You have a fella coming to church.  Everyone knows him, he's friendly, usually happy and he's familiar with the Gospel and Teachings.  However, he's not a member.

Somedays he comes to church with an odor.  Well, it maybe he hasn't changed clothes, or done laundry.  Sometimes not even bathed.  Who knows the reason.

But do you have a problem sitting next time him in sacrament or sunday school?  What goes through your mind when you two meet?

My mission president experienced this as a bishop in the ward he served in. There was a homeless lady who walked into the chapel, and the members were aware of this homeless lady. She walked up to the front (hadn't bathed or showered in a long time), and sat down right next to a lady of the ward. The lady put her arms around her, and made sure she knew she was welcome.

Little by little, step by step this lady's life changed.

I sadly am not able to share this story as my mission president could, as he was there and experienced it.

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I discussed this with my Bishop, other than cautioning me on the use of social media, he understood what I was saying.  Sometimes there is so much that I want to tell, to help others understand this situation better, but in doing so also tells others who I am.  And that's not what I came to Mormon Hub for.

 

I did go to church today, and I even showered- using the "20 oz. soda bottle" (a trick I learned from when I ran away from home when I was a teenager).  All was good.  Had a lot of guests though.

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11 hours ago, pwrfrk said:

I did go to church today, and I even showered- using the "20 oz. soda bottle" (a trick I learned from when I ran away from home when I was a teenager).  All was good.  Had a lot of guests though.

And here I am complaining that I have to take a bath with just one bucket (10 gallons) of cold water.  It is mighty difficult to rinse shampoo off my waist-length hair and still have enough water left to wash the rest of me.

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