How Long Is Too Long To Wait For A Temple Marriage?


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Im asking a lot of questions but recebtly read an article on LDS Living ( same title as my post) that addressed women who were not getting proposed to by LDS men, and who were getting to be past the age of child bearong. It justified getting married to men outside of the temple in that case. It said that they should not give up the blessings of being a wife and a mother for a blessing that may never be afforded to them in this life. Do you think that the Lord would withhold blessings from a woman who chose to do so? I mean there are more Temple worthy women in the church than men, so it's just a fact that they're going to be some who are not afforded the blessings of Temple marriage in this life.

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The imbalance of the ratio of young men and women causes issues that we need to acknowledge. We need to talk about the path of women who do not find faithful priesthood leaders. These young women will either marry out or remain single. Young women must be raised to earn a living.

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7 hours ago, dddd said:

Im asking a lot of questions but recebtly read an article on LDS Living ( same title as my post) that addressed women who were not getting proposed to by LDS men, and who were getting to be past the age of child bearong. It justified getting married to men outside of the temple in that case. It said that they should not give up the blessings of being a wife and a mother for a blessing that may never be afforded to them in this life. Do you think that the Lord would withhold blessings from a woman who chose to do so? I mean there are more Temple worthy women in the church than men, so it's just a fact that they're going to be some who are not afforded the blessings of Temple marriage in this life.

I don't think there is a one size fits all answer.  I know of cases where a woman married a non-member who was a good man and he eventually joined the church and they were sealed.  I know of other cases where it resulted in a bad or failed marriage. 

It isn't that the Lord would withhold blessings, we cut ourselves off from blessings.  Temple marriage is a big thing, it isn't just that you need it for exhalation, it is something your children will likely need.  One blessing of a temple marriage is that if the couple keep their covenants God will watch over their children and shepherd them back at some point if they stray from the gospel.  

I would recommend that unless a woman gets clear, specific revelation giving God's approval to marrying a specific person outside the temple that she should hold out for a temple marriage and trust in the promise that she will get to be a wife and mother in the eternities if she is faithful (if not sooner).   Reject temple marriage and you may wind up being a wife and mother in morality, but not after.

Of course the whole man/woman ratio thing could be solved if polygamy came back, but that would open a whole new can of worms.

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It is never too long to wait for a Temple Marriage...  The Lord sees and knows all and our time here in mortality is short.  The Lord has also promised that no blessing will be denied those that are Faithful... even if they do not get it in this life.

Now is it possible the Lord's plan for you includes being married to a non-member?  Sure.  But who you marry (member or not) should be a matter of much fasting and prayer. So that you can be confident you are following his will.

One should not let "fear" drive out faith.  And yes fear of 'losing blessing' that drives us to be unfaithful is "Fear."  Faith enables us to stay on the Lord's path for us even when it looks like it is the harder road, and we can't see how the Lord might bless us.

 

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10 hours ago, dddd said:

Im asking a lot of questions but recebtly read an article on LDS Living ( same title as my post) that addressed women who were not getting proposed to by LDS men, and who were getting to be past the age of child bearong. It justified getting married to men outside of the temple in that case. It said that they should not give up the blessings of being a wife and a mother for a blessing that may never be afforded to them in this life. Do you think that the Lord would withhold blessings from a woman who chose to do so? I mean there are more Temple worthy women in the church than men, so it's just a fact that they're going to be some who are not afforded the blessings of Temple marriage in this life.

A person should be married to someone who is a high quality person, who will be a high quality spouse and supportive of them (emotional,y spiritually, etc).  This would-be marriage should be someone the Lord approves of, as confirmed by prayer and listening to the Spirit.  A person should NOT just get married to a random because they are getting older or desperate.  

Notice: I did not say that anything about them being LDS above.  Frankly, there are some LDS folks who aren't supportive in spiritual matters, or other wise won't make a high quality supportive spouse.  There are indeed non-LDS folks who can be supportive an LDS person, including being supportive of their faith (I'm married to one myself).  Still, they are rare.  Judge very very carefully, keeping two ears to the Lord at all times.  

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7 hours ago, Sunday21 said:

The imbalance of the ratio of young men and women causes issues that we need to acknowledge. We need to talk about the path of women who do not find faithful priesthood leaders. These young women will either marry out or remain single. Young women must be raised to earn a living.

I think the earning a living point is kind of moot in this context, but yes it is a point that needs to be addressed. Ideally the plan would be to reactivate the men not living up to their Priesthood potential but until then we have a generation of women who are ready for temple marriage while their male peers are either not ready or apt to be taken...

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8 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Why is a temple marriage so important?

 

Has to do with LDS Doctrine regarding the Kingdoms of Glory that men and women inherit in the next life.  In order to obtain the highest degree of glory, temple marriage is a necessary covenant.

 

EDIT: Here is a link to the definition of marriage in the True to the Faith Handbook, a book that defines a lot of terms and doctrines of the church.

https://www.lds.org/manual/true-to-the-faith/marriage?lang=eng&_r=1

Edited by ABCDario
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6 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Why is a temple marriage so important?

LDS believe that the ultimate happiness occurs when a man, woman, and God are joined together in covenant (known as the marriage sealing covenant).  This unit is also linked by covenant to children, parents, and rest of the human family.    Now obviously not everyone is going to have this opportunity in this life, and that's ok, God will still provide a way.  

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6 hours ago, dddd said:

Of course the whole man/woman ratio thing could be solved if polygamy came back, but that would open a whole new can of worms

 

6 hours ago, dddd said:

UM. or if the men would be worthy...sheesh

I would only discuss this topic if the Lord's servants approved of it. It was discontinued for a reason and two very intelligent men, that I love dearly, thought they could implement it outside the approval of the Lord. They both have lost their marriages as a result. I think it goes back to LDS men stepping up and asking the beautiful young women for their hands in marriage. Also, the women need to be realistic and if they aren't finding any men in their immediate age bracket don't be afraid to reach lower ex: 30 yr old woman dating a 25 yr old man. He will not be on the same level BUT some men are very willing to step up and learn from their future wife.

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13 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

Why is a temple marriage so important?

 

The information at this website might help you understand the importance LDS places on the temple marriage: https://www.lds.org/temples/what-happens-in-a-temple-sealing?lang=eng

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Actually, going to quote from True to the Faith for the OP as well.

Quote

Counsel for Those Who Do Not Marry

Some members of the Church remain single through no fault of their own, even though they want to marry. If you find yourself in this situation, be assured that “all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28). As you remain worthy, you will someday, in this life or the next, be given all the blessings of an eternal family relationship. The Lord has made this promise repeatedly through His latter-day prophets.

If you are single and desire to be married, do not give up hope. At the same time, do not allow yourself to become preoccupied with your goal. Instead, become anxiously engaged in worthwhile activities. Look for ways to serve in your extended family and in your community. Accept and magnify Church callings. Keep yourself clean, both physically and spiritually. Continue to learn and develop and progress in your personal life.

 

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47 minutes ago, Overwatch said:

 two very intelligent men, that I love dearly, thought they could implement it outside the approval of the Lord. They both have lost their marriages as a result.

I'm of the mind that men who want to practice it are likely among those most poorly suited for it.

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46 minutes ago, ABCDario said:

Actually, going to quote from True to the Faith for the OP as well.

 

I read that too, and that seems to be the answer when there is no good answer, God will just work it out in the end. I know that my Grandpa before he died hated the church and refused to do. After his death all his temple work was done for him and he was sealed to my Grandma while she was still living. My dad told me a couple of years ago that my uncle had received confirmation that my Grandpa had accepted the work...so does that mean it's all good?

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4 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

I read that too, and that seems to be the answer when there is no good answer, God will just work it out in the end. I know that my Grandpa before he died hated the church and refused to do. After his death all his temple work was done for him and he was sealed to my Grandma while she was still living. My dad told me a couple of years ago that my uncle had received confirmation that my Grandpa had accepted the work...so does that mean it's all good?

That means that if Grandma and Grandpa keep their covenants, they will be sealed together as husband and wife in the highest degree of glory (in the Celestial kingdom) and will have exaltation and eternal lives, as promised in scripture.  There is no higher blessing they can receive.

Many have wondered about folks who don't have the chance for sealing in this life, and I found this to have slightly more than we generally here elsewhere (emphasis mine):

https://www.lds.org/liahona/1977/12/the-spirit-world-our-next-home?lang=eng

Quote

Some worry because departed children have apparently lost the privilege of courtship, marriage, and other opportunities. But revelations concerning the spirit world assure us that normal relationships leading to eternal sealings are an ongoing part of that life. Elder Melvin J. Ballard observed:

“You mothers worry about your little children [who have died]. We do not perform sealings for them. I lost a son six years of age, and I saw him a man in the spirit world after his death, and I saw how he had exercised his own freedom of choice and would obtain of his own will and volition a companion, and in due time to him, and all those who are worthy of it, shall come all of the blessings and sealing privileges of the house of the Lord. Do not worry over it. They are safe; they are all right.

“Now, then, what is the status of your daughters who have died and have not been sealed to some man? … The sealing power shall be forever and ever with this Church, and provisions will be made for them. We cannot run faster than the Lord has provided the way. Their blessings and privileges will come to them in due time. In the meantime, they are safe.” (Bryant S. Hinckley, Sermons and Missionary Services of Melvin J. Ballard, Deseret Book Company, 1949, p. 260.)

Many wonder just how eternal companions will be chosen for those who pass from this life without one.  This appears to answer that question and in a way consistent with what we know of the importance of our own agency.  (Whether it's the same for all, and through the millennium, I couldn't guess, but I found this interesting.)

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4 minutes ago, TurboGirl said:

I read that too, and that seems to be the answer when there is no good answer, God will just work it out in the end. I know that my Grandpa before he died hated the church and refused to do. After his death all his temple work was done for him and he was sealed to my Grandma while she was still living. My dad told me a couple of years ago that my uncle had received confirmation that my Grandpa had accepted the work...so does that mean it's all good?

Starting with the big picture: God gives everyone every opportunity to accept the Gospel and be up mostly happy.  This includes those that don't have the opportunity to ____ in this life-- everyone gets every opportunity eventually.

So, for a simple example: let's talk about baptism-- everyone will have the opportunity to hear the Gospel and to accept baptism.  So a baptism will be done for everyone, regardless of whether they do it in person themselves or it's don't vicariously post-death.  And everyone has the opportunity to accept that baptism: whether they accept it in this life, or post mortal death.  That same applies to every other opportunity/covenant.  

Now, I don't know about your Grandpa, so I can't say anything particular about him.  So I'll talk about hypothetical persons Mike instead:   Mike hated the LDS church during this mortal life, but after his mortal death his heart was changed and he did indeed embrace the Gospel.   Mike choose to accept the Gospel, and his baptism (the phyiscal part of which was done vicariously).   Come the Final Judgement Mike gets a giant hug from Christ and enters into the absolute fullness of happiness in the Celestial Kingdom.  All is beyond good.

 

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15 hours ago, dddd said:

Im asking a lot of questions but recebtly read an article on LDS Living ( same title as my post) that addressed women who were not getting proposed to by LDS men, and who were getting to be past the age of child bearong. It justified getting married to men outside of the temple in that case. It said that they should not give up the blessings of being a wife and a mother for a blessing that may never be afforded to them in this life. Do you think that the Lord would withhold blessings from a woman who chose to do so? I mean there are more Temple worthy women in the church than men, so it's just a fact that they're going to be some who are not afforded the blessings of Temple marriage in this life.

I remember running across this scripture one day. It stuck with me for some reason. I suppose today is that reason:

13 And Noah and his sons hearkened unto the Lord, and gave heed, and they were called the sons of God.

14 And when these men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, the sons of men saw that those daughters were fair, and they took them wives, even as they chose.

15 And the Lord said unto Noah: The daughters of thy sons have sold themselves; for behold mine anger is kindled against the sons of men, for they will not hearken to my voice.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/pgp/moses/8

Do not lose faith. The Lord never gives a commandment without providing a way to accomplish and obey. The Lord will bless you with righteous husbands.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm/1-ne/3.7

 

Edited by Overwatch
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1 hour ago, Connie said:

The information at this website might help you understand the importance LDS places on the temple marriage: https://www.lds.org/temples/what-happens-in-a-temple-sealing?lang=eng

Thank you, I read it. One of my problems, and I wish there was a better explanation to why temple marriage got so important only in the D&C, why is there no mention of Jesus being married in the temple in Bible or the BOM, or that he was married at all?

Plus in both of the articles they talk about how much better a marriage is if you know it is for eternity. I know lots of strong marriage that did not begin in a temple.

What if you married to quickly, and the person you married isn't someone you want in your family for all eternity?

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